Page 11 of Hiding From Laughter

Ashton

Cheater.

Cheater.

Cheater.

He made me wiggly.

He made me think of fun things.

He made me think about how happy he was.

He wasn’t Micha anymore or even Master…he was…he was something naughtier…something sneakier…he was Michy.

Mikey.

Something.

He was something different and I was going to figure out his new name.

“Good boy.”

My naughty person kissed my head and stroked my cheek with one finger. “Drinking all your milk and cuddling so sweetly. Yes, you’re going to deserve big rewards.”

I liked rewards.

I liked being a good boy, too.

He was such a cheater.

He even made me more wiggly thinking about my reward.

My penis thought it was going to be a reward for him, but my naughty person was so sneaky it could be anything. I tried to figure out the options but I’d been lapped and bottled and snuggled, so my brain wasn’t working at all.

It tried, but every time it got started my naughty person would pat my diaper or hug me tighter. He even had the nerve to keep telling me how happy I was making him.

He had some nerve.

I’d decided to tell him that when my milk was all gone, but as soon as he took the bottle away my quiet toy appeared.

Magic.

Ugh.

It was probably a good thing because I’d forgotten I didn’t want to talk…I had to win and it was probably dangerous to let words escape. I wasn’t sure what they’d do, so surprises weren’t a good idea at that point.

No…no surprises…I wasn’t sure what would happen.

The random things that could pop out almost made my brain start working again but then the bottle was done and my naughty person distracted me.

He smiled.

Sneaky. Sneaky. Sneaky.

“Dinner time.”

He even kissed my nose again as he played with the flippy bit on the quiet toy. “I know you’re going to remember that I’m in control and you just have to focus on being a good boy.”

Yes…my naughty person was in charge and he was going to do everything.

Even feed me?

As he sat me up and kissed my cheek that time, I looked down at my hands. Yeah, he was going to have to feed me. I might be able to pick up chicken nuggets and tater tots, but not mac-n-cheese. That would be messy and squishy and I’d probably still be hungry at the end.

Yep, this was a my naughty person problem.

He’d figure out how to get me fed.

And more milk.

I had to have milk with my mac-n-cheese.

Hopefully he remembered that or I’d have to whine. I couldn’t be punished for that either because he’d already said that was how I could tell him stuff.

Hmm.

Whining, I wiggled my hands and rested my head on his shoulder. My naughty man made a thinking sound. “Hmm, I think my boy is hungry and needs some good attention.”

Possibly.

“Don’t worry. You’re going to get both because I’m going to feed you and help you not make a mess.”

He sounded too excited about that, so I had a feeling I wouldn’t understand why the idea made him that happy. “Then I’ll get you cleaned up and we’ll have cartoon time or book time. You can color more if that still sounds like fun.”

It sounded like fun to my naughty man.

He was smiley and hugged me tight again.

“I had so much fun watching you color, baby.”

He was so excited he gave me more cheek kisses. “You made me a beautiful picture.”

Maybe.

But he could still hang it up on the fridge so he remembered to take me to the zoo.

“Up we go.”

Setting the bottle on my lap, my naughty man picked me up and carried me to the kitchen, chuckling when I flopped my head on his shoulder. “You’re so cute.”

He needed his head examined.

I was a pain in the butt and we both knew it.

“There we go.”

Slowly lowering me to the chair, my naughty man kissed my cheek. “In the future, I’m going to get you some straps to help you sit carefully in your seat, but for right now, you’re just going to be a good boy for me.”

Or what?

Straps?

Like a high chair?

Oh.

Maybe sitting carefully would be a good idea.

He was devious.

He made me nervous and wiggly.

“Yes.”

My naughty man smiled bigger and happier when I gave a tiny wiggle. “I thought you’d be careful.”

’Cause he was naughty.

“Good boy.”

My naughty man knew he’d won because he kissed my nose again. “So cute.”

He was so silly.

But I had my quiet toy in and I didn’t have to tell him that. So I couldn’t get in trouble and lose my reward. Or make him sad. That would be bad too. He might not know he was silly, so I had to be nice. And nice meant quiet and letting him be in charge.

Of everything.

Hmm.

Everything made me wiggle too.

And it made my naughty man smile bigger.

Maybe he did know he was silly…and naughty?

“So cute.”

His head kiss made me think he knew…but I still didn’t want to be mean. “And such a good boy too so I’m going to have fun rewarding you.”

I got rewards when I was good and the bigger the good the bigger the reward.

I just had to figure out what got the biggest rewards. ’Cause I wanted those and I wanted to go to the zoo and to get special kinds of cuddles from my naughty man. There was lots of stuff that I wanted, so I was good and wiggled my feet and wiggled my bottom and watched my naughty man buzz around the kitchen like a busy bee.

“Can you smell that?”

My naughty man sucked in air and made a happy sound. “I followed your recipe and I can’t wait.”

My naughty man was a good cooker person but he liked using my ideas too. He said it made the food even more special. Bigger bigger special. Did he like bigger bigger special food when he wanted to control everything?

“Oh, look at that.”

My naughty man took it out of the oven and had his good job smile on his face. “We’re going to enjoy this.”

Yes.

Very very yes.

I was very very patient too because I sat still while my naughty man got out a big bowl for him and a plate bowl for me and even got me milk in a sippy cup thing.

He remembered.

It even had more animals on it like my new plate.

“Don’t worry. I’m going to help with everything.”

My naughty man looked naughty excited about that too. “I even got you special spoons to make sure it’s easy to eat.”

Huh?

Oh.

My naughty man got me an animal spoon from the zoo. He got the lion one. Did he get the monkey one? They had lots of spoons and lots of forks. I’d never asked for those, though, but my naughty man knew they were special.

I had to see but my fingers were stuck.

My mouth was stuck too.

So I waved and whined like my naughty man said to.

“Do you want to see it?”

He was smart and handed me the special spoon. “How about you hold one and I hold one too?”

More?

I got more.

I liked more.

“Here you go.”

My naughty man, who might not be too naughty, gave me my spoon and he kissed my head. “Monkeys for me.”

Oh.

I got monkeys too.

I’d let my naughty man have my monkey.

I could share.

My naughty man brought food and the monkey spoon over to the table and sat down beside me. He was in the wrong spot. So I glared at him and his spot. He laughed. “When I’m helping you with dinner I’m going to sit here. When I’m not in control of everything, I’ll sit in my regular spot.”

I guess that was okay.

Maybe.

Oh, mac-n-cheese.

Yes.

“I’m going to trade food for the quiet toy but you still have to be quiet.”

My naughty man raised one eyebrow. “Good boys get rewards, right?”

Nodding, I was the bestest as he took the quiet toy out and put it on the table. I even opened my mouth and waited like a baby bird. He thought I was funny and laughed but I got my food. My yummy food. My creamy food. My crunchy-top food.

I was good when I waited for my naughty man to have a bite too.

I was really really super good when I waited for him to give me my milk.

And I was really amazing good and didn’t drop my special spoon.

“Look at my good boy eating all his food.”

My naughty man took his turn. “Do you need more or are you all done?”

Hmm.

Oh.

I waved my hands like he’d shown me.

“All done.”

My naughty man beamed. “Good job remembering that, baby.”

I’d made him happy.

He was cute when he was happy even if he was naughty.

Oh.

I could make him happy again.

I made the more sign and pointed to my milk.

I got milk.

Not talking was nice because it got me what I wanted faster.

It even got me head kisses and smiles from my naughty man as he took his last bite and stood up from the table as he gave me my quiet toy. “Alright. Five minutes for me to clean up the kitchen because I’m in control.”

I didn’t have grown-up hands, so I couldn’t help, but I could be a good boy and sit nice. I wouldn’t wiggle too much or fall off or do anything to make him frown.

Good boys got rewards and I was my naughty man’s bestest good boy.