Page 68 of Hide From Me

“While you’re giving lectures, maybe you should talk to your wife. Raylen beat an obstacle course record on base, and no one caught her.” I laugh, bitter and unhinged. “Or better yet, go yell at a mirror. You're the head of security, aren’t you?”

A thick silence fills the room and Cordelia starts pacing faster.

“I’ve watched you grow up, trained you, covered for you. Are yousureyou want to cross this line?” Sam growls, dragging Jasmine behind him as he steps forward.

I step closer too. Iwantthis fight.

"You know," I begin.

"That's enough. Everyone's worked up—" Cordelia tries to intervene.

"What's funny?" I sneer, finishing my thought in site of the protests. "Your wife gets a pass. But when it’s me, when it’sher,I’m suddenly the risk."

Sam grabs my shirt, yanking us nose to nose.

I grin.

"I don’t know what’s gotten into you," he says through clenched teeth. "But it ends now."

“Enough!” Cordelia yells with authority lacing her words, but it's no use; I'm already leaning in Sam's direction, narrowing my glare and refusing to back down.

"This is only the beginning." I whisper.

It's the truth; I'll rip every person in this base down to the ground. I'll expose everyones past present and future and by God, I'll do it to the fucking public if that's what it takes.

Sam's brows furrow as his gaze shifts over my face, the deep crease in his forehead illuminated by the door creaking open. I should feel nervous or scared when my name is shouted across the room in a voice I know all too well but don't want to hear right now. Instead, all I feel is numb.

"This is for your own sake," Sam mutters, and I swallow hard as he pushes against my chest, making me stumble back. It's ironic how I spent so much time trying to get him and Caspian to reconcile, and now I'm ruining a friendship I'm not sure I can repair.

Everything feels fuzzy like I’m being pulled from a deep sleep. It’s unsettling, making my stomach turn, and my hands shake at my sides. I lost my cool; my mask slipped for everyone to see. It feels like I'm living an out-of-bodyexperience, but it's not me I'm watching; it's my grandfather as he yelled at me to shoot my brother. He was willing to do anything despite his daughter bleeding out by my feet. He didn't care–he was insane–and yet I just hit that point without even realizing it.

The thoughts I had can’t be taken back; the words I said are forever there. Yet, I know if I were to do it over, it would end the same.

“Moe!” Caspian's voice is louder this time, but I don't glance in his direction. I'm too focused on Sam slipping back into his chair, shoulders tense, as he drags file after file onto the screen, along with so much past security footage from around town that it makes my already scrambled thoughts turn into pure mush.

“Someone tell me what the bloody hell is going on!” Caspian yells, and Sam stands, interlacing his hand with Jasmine's as he tugs her towards the door. Jasmine tries to catch my eye, but I can't pull my attention from my feet.

“Caspian, just listen—” Sharkie starts.

“Don’t,” I interrupt. “I, uh—this is something I have to do.”

I shove my hands in my pockets, focusing on the tips of Caspian’s boots as they stop just inches from mine.

“Look, you’ve been under a lot—”

“Stop making excuses for me,” I snap my head toward Cordelia, and my expression softens as her brows furrow. She can’t read me anymore, and she knows it. If only she realized she never could in the first place. I bet it’s hard for her—my mother was her best friend and manipulated her for years, making her believe that their friendship was genuine, even though it was all a facade–I can only imagine she’s feeling the sting of betrayal again.

I lift my head toward Caspian. He’s staring past me, his eyes narrowed at Raylen’s file open on the monitors. I'd love to look with him and learn all the things she's yet to tell me, but I'm too busy mentally preparing for the outburst he’s about to have–for the disappointment I'm sure will cross his features.

“That’s her,” he mutters.

I nod.

Yeah, that’s her—the one I’d risk everything for. The one who has no idea how much of myself I’ve bled for her.

The woman I’d burn the world for.

“Goddamn it.” Caspian growls as his head snaps in my direction, then back to the screens as if trying to process the situation. “What–Why–fuck Moe!”