Page 120 of Hide From Me
I glance toward the door, where the people I trust most in the world just walked out. Where the girl, I would give anything to see again,mightstill be waiting for me somewhere out there.
I exhale slowly.
"I'm not sure," I admit, and the words taste bitter in my mouth. They feel like defeat, like I am acknowledging something I have tried to ignore since the moment I opened my eyes in this room. I sink back against the pillow, swallowing hard against the tightness in my throat. "Raylen looked at me like she didn’t know me. Like she was waiting for me to snap. And maybe she was right.”
I see it like it’s happening all over again—the way her eyes went wide, that flicker of terror she tried to hide, the step back that felt like a mile. It guts me worse than any bullet ever could. Because this is what I was always afraid of: thatthe moment she saw all of me—reallysaw me—she’d realize I wasn’t worth the risk.
Jonathan shakes his head slowly, as if trying to shake the thought from my mind. His voice is steady and calm, but there’s a rough edge to it—like he knows exactly what it’s like to carry that weight. “She looked at a man who walked through fire for her. That’s not fear, Moe. That’s shock; that’s someone realizing just how much you sacrificed for her. Give her time.”
Time.
As if I haven’t spentmonthsdrowning in it. As if I haven’t felt every second as an anchor tied around my ribs.
“I don’t want time,” I say, my voice low and tight. The truth spills out before I can stop it, raw and ugly. “I wanther.I want her to look at me and not flinch. I want her to believe I’m not something she needs to survive.”
There’s a long pause as Jon just watches me. I can see the thoughts turning behind his eyes, the way he’s trying to figure out how to connect with me without pushing too hard.
“You can’t control how she processes the truth,” he finally says. His tone is gentle, but there’s a firmness underneath it. “You can only continue being the man she fell for. The rest... that’s for her to work through. She’s carried a lot on her own, from what I hear, and it seems like she handles it best when she processes things by herself.”
I take a slow, deep breath, feeling the sting at the back of my eyes and the weight in my chest that no amount of morphine can ease. I manage to nod once, because he’s right, and I hate that he is.
What a fucked up bonding moment.
The room falls quiet again, broken only by the soft beeping of the monitors and the subtle drip of the IV. It’s that kind of silence that allows too many thoughts to surface—thoughts I would rather avoid.
Then Jon clears his throat, his voice low but resolute. “You’re not alone anymore, you know. No matter how this situation with her turns out… you’ve got me now.”
I exhale softly—part laugh, part sigh. My fingers absentmindedly pick at the edge of the blanket, fraying it further. “I was never alone. I’ve always had a family. My mom—the one who raised me—loved me more than the moon. My father was just as devoted. Caspian has always been there for me. And yes, we’ve picked up some strays along the way…”
A small grin escapes me despite myself, as my mind drifts to Cordelia’s ridiculous sense of humor, Sam’s fierce loyalty, and Jasmine’s quiet strength. Our twisted, patchwork little unit somehow fits together, jagged edges and all.
“They may not be blood, but I’ve never been alone—just…lost,” I whisper. The admission feels like laying down a weapon I didn’t realize I had been gripping so tightly.
Jon hums low in his throat, and I wince, realizing how that probably sounded to the man sitting in front of me—the man who didn’t know I existed until he saw me bleeding out. He is trying to bridge a lifetime’s worth of distance in just a few words. I should have kept quiet, but the drugs in my system loosen my tongue, making it too easy to spill the things I usually keep locked away.
Fucking morphine.I thought the high was supposed to be fun, not all emotional and shit.
“Is there an application for this twisted little family?” he asks.
I blink, caught off guard, and my head turns toward him before I can stop myself. He’s grinning, and it’s so damn human—sonormal—that it steals the breath from my lungs. It’s the kind of smile that reaches his eyes, crinkling at the corners, chasing away a bit of the exhaustion clinging to his face.
It’s me.
“I guess we can find some space,” I say, my voice hoarse but warm.
Jon swallows hard, and I can see him working to keep his composure. He nods once, slow and deliberate, as if he’s trying to commit this moment to memory, afraid it will vanish if he moves too quickly.
“I’ll try to play the part right, even if I'm miles away.”
I can't help but let my eyes shut as his words wash over me. Logically I know there's no medium here where I can keep him, Raylen, and my family by my side at all times but that's okay. It'll all work. It has to, because I think he and I both know I’m not leaving my home.
“I’m glad you made it back,” he says quietly.
“Me too,” I whisper, and I truly mean it. I really do.
Twenty-Eight
Moe
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 79
- Page 80
- Page 81
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 95
- Page 96
- Page 97
- Page 98
- Page 99
- Page 100
- Page 101
- Page 102
- Page 103
- Page 104
- Page 105
- Page 106
- Page 107
- Page 108
- Page 109
- Page 110
- Page 111
- Page 112
- Page 113
- Page 114
- Page 115
- Page 116
- Page 117
- Page 118
- Page 119
- Page 120 (reading here)
- Page 121
- Page 122
- Page 123
- Page 124
- Page 125
- Page 126
- Page 127
- Page 128
- Page 129
- Page 130
- Page 131
- Page 132
- Page 133
- Page 134
- Page 135
- Page 136
- Page 137
- Page 138
- Page 139
- Page 140
- Page 141
- Page 142
- Page 143
- Page 144
- Page 145
- Page 146