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Story: Her Grace Revisited

“Of course, I will assist her in any way that I am able,” Lady Anne said firmly. “Has she had much bleeding since the event?”

“Not much at all,” Elizabeth said, “In fact, Doctor Granger said that the fact that since her accident she has had little bleeding is a very good indicator for a full recovery.”

“I remember after your one miscarriage how concerned my father was that there was so much bleeding, mother,” Darcy said. “He tried to keep it from me, but I heard him talking to the doctor.”

“Yes, William, I remember how concerned George was. God spared me then as He did after I birthed Georgie, and I am still here with by beloved family now so much larger than it used to be,” she smiled. “Is Marie resting, or may I go to see her?”

“Let us go to her directly. Mama and Aunt Elaine are with her, but she made me promise that I would bring you to see her as soon as you arrived,” Elizabeth told her mother-in-law as she stood, and the two ladies walked to the master suite while Darcy went to go join the others in the family sitting room.

When Lady Anne entered the viscountess’s chambers with her younger sister, Marie came as close to smiling as she had since her fall.

She was very keen to be able to talk to one who had experienced what she just had.

Ladies Sarah and Elaine greeted Elizabeth and Lady Anne, then both kissed Marie and went to join the rest of the family.

Elizbeth kissed Marie’s cheek and told her that she would see her a little later as she was sure that it would be best to leave her sister and mother-in-law to talk in private.

“Thank you for coming, Aunt Anne,” Marie said as she started to cry again. “Oh, I am such a watering pot lately,” she chided herself.

“Do you believe that I was any different the times that I miscarried? I was even worse after my Colin was stillborn,” Lady Anne told her niece as she held her hand tightly. “I thought that part of me died each time, and I had three of them.”

“That is just how I feel,” Marie said with relief at knowing that she was not mad for feeling as she did. “Will the pain ever go away fully?”

“It will with time, and when God gifts you with a babe, this will be a distant memory that you will have difficulty remembering ever happened,” Lady Anne shared and was happy to see the look of relief on Marie’s face.

“Lizzy and Jane both told me it was not my fault, but it was hard for me to accept,” Marie said through her tears.

“Jane reminded me that miscarriage is a risk that all woman face. I realised that it was self-indulgent of me to believe that I am the only one to suffer like this. You did not fall or have any other injury that caused your three events, did you Aunt Anne?”

“No, Marie dear, I did not,” Lady Anne said. It was not easy talking about her disappointments, but if some good for Marie could come out of her past experiences then she was more than willing to canvass the difficult subject for as long as her niece required her to do so.

“Your late husband was not disappointed by your…” Marie still had a hard time saying the word too often.

“No Marie, not at all,” Lady Anne answered vehemently.

It dawned on her that the biggest part of Marie’s guilt was a feeling that she failed her husband.

Lady Anne had thought the same at the time but had quickly learnt that all her husband cared about was her wellbeing and did not blame her for that over which she had no control.

She took both of her niece’s hands in her own. “Look at me, Marie!” she instructed.

Marie lifted her head and wiped the tears from her eyes and looked into her aunt’s eyes.

“I want to say this plainly so there is no room for misunderstanding,” Lady Anne said firmly but with sympathy, “Not for one moment did my dear George blame me. Just like Andrew loves you, he loved me and his only worry, as I know is the case with Andrew, was my health and wellbeing. The love that you share with Andrew would be a shallow and sad kind of love if he were to blame you for something in which you have no blame. Is that the kind of love that you and Andrew share Marie?”

“No, we have the deepest love…” Marie’s mouth formed a perfect ‘O’ as it dawned on her that her aunt’s question had been designed to break through her malaise and force her to face the truth.

There was only one person who was blaming her…

herself. As the realisation washed over her, she felt the weight of the self-imposed guilt lift.

She would grieve for the child that she would never have, which was only natural, but she would no longer indulge in misplaced guilt, and she knew that her love would be there to support her without any recriminations.

She thanked her aunt for helping her see the truth and requested that she tell Andrew that his wife would like to see him.

“Aunt Anne said that you wanted to see me, my love,” Andrew said as he closed the bedchamber door.

“Yes, my dear Andrew. I need to offer a very big apology to you…” He cut her off, presuming that she was going to take the blame for what happened on herself.

“Marie, we have all told you it was not your…” His wife’s fingers on his lips silenced him.

“I understand and accept that, my husband,” she assured him as she removed her hand from his lips and took his large hand in her smaller one.

“My apology is that I did not trust our love as I should have. I was worried that you would blame me until Aunt Anne made me see that was the furthest thing from the truth; that the love that we share is strong enough to overcome any of life’s trials that we face, together.

“You are my heart, Andrew, and I will never allow churlish thoughts to make me forget that we will always support one another no matter what.” Andrew was overjoyed that his wife had come to accept that she bore no blame for the miscarriage and leaned over to kiss his wife soundly.

“All of the family members’ lives would be so different if God had not returned Aunt Anne to us after she birthed Georgie,” Andrew said as he lifted his eyes to the heavens to thank the Lord for sparing his Aunt.

He looked at his wife with love and adoration, relieved that she had moved past her misplaced feelings of guilt.

“Did Mr. Granger say when you would be able to travel to London, my love?”

“When he examined me earlier, he said that as soon as I felt well enough, Andrew,” she offered her first genuine smile since her loss. “Would you ring for my maid? I think that I would like to join the family. How does departing in two days sound?”

“That will be perfect, my love,” he agreed happily. “I received a note back from Sir Frederick, and he said to contact him as soon as we are in Town and he will be able to see us.”

“Once I am checked by him and he says that all is well then, we will just have to start again, and I am very much looking forward to the attempts,” she said with an almost seductive smile.

Andrew rang for her maid with glee and went back to the family to first kiss and thank Aunt Anne, and let the rest of the family know about their travel plans.

~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~

McLamb and his crewmates were very uncomfortable; they were in a brig and in chains. On the second day of sailing toward Dublin they were visited by the ship’s captain.

“Why be you doin’ some toff’s dirty work?” McLamb spat out.

“Because, that “toff,” as you call him,” Beauclerk answered calmly, “is the Duke that owns the Dennington Lines, and I work for him.” All three men shrunk back. Not only had they made an enemy of a close relation of the royals, but of one that seemed to have unlimited resources.

“Whots’ gonna ‘appen to us,” asked one of the others, the fear threading in his voice making it quiver.

“Tomorrow when we dock in Dublin, you three will be transferred to one of our ships headed for Liverpool, from there you will be escorted to Brookfield where an ex-colonel will meet you,” the men looked in question and then all three men turned white.

“From what I understand he is very much looking forward to meeting you and properly giving his appreciation for your deeds in Fowey.”

Any fight that may have been left in the three was gone.

They had no doubt that in the very near future they would be paying for all of their crimes.

Beauclerk left and the door in the bulkhead that led to the brig was locked, leaving three men to contemplate the remaining duration of their miserable lives.

~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~

Tony álvarez was revelling on his work with Pemberley’s steward.

He found it very fulfilling to see the results of his labours, and to be able to help others at the same time.

He had met a good number of the estate’s tenants and had seen in them the same contentment that had first led him to question his and his mother’s choices in Bundoran.

They did not have much, but they had enough and were happy, not looking to others to provide them with that which they did not earn.

What impressed Tony further was the reverence with which both the tenants and servants held the master and the new mistress.

He had seen for himself that the Duke and Duchess were always fair toward those who were dependent on them, even went out of their way to help, when and if needed.

He did not miss the genuine loyalty that he saw towards the Darcy’s from all on the estate, and when he contrasted that to Younge and his crew, he saw a vast difference.

Younge’s men were afraid of him, but were loyal to their own self-interest. Young álvarez had been invited to share a dinner with Pemberley’s vicar, Mr. Elliot, and his wife.

As he rode the cob that had been provided for his use while at Pemberley toward the parsonage, he remembered his riding lessons when he first arrived at the state.

His Grace, Lord Darcy, had asked Tony if he could ride, to which the young man answered in the negative. Given the size of the estate and the plan to have Tony work with the steward, he was told to go see the stablemaster who would teach him to ride.

Mr. Toby Carlson had started as a groom fifteen years previously.

The former master had recognised his talent with horses and the respect that the men that worked with him held him in; and Carson had risen fast, becoming the under-stablemaster after three years.

When his predecessor and mentor retired five years later, George Darcy promoted him knowing that there was not a better man for the position.

He was a gruff man, but was always fair, and he was an excellent riding instructor.

It had taken a week of intensive lessons from Carlson before Tony was allowed to ride outside of the training ring. A week after that he was introduced to the cob that he now rode and told that it would be his for as long as he remained at Pemberley.

Tony smiled as he thought back on his lessons and all the other kindnesses that had been shown him since his arrival. He tied the cob with a long line so it could reach the grass and water easily then knocked on the door.

“Welcome, young álvarez,” the parson said as he extended his hand.

“Do you need to wash before we sit down?” Tony indicated that he did and was directed to the kitchen where a basin of warm water was prepared for him.

After he dried his face and hands, he returned to the drawing room, and a few minutes later the housekeeper informed them that dinner was ready.

It was a very convivial atmosphere in the Elliots’ house, proving once again to Tony where true happiness was to be found. “Have you heard back from Oxford?” Mrs. Elliot asked her guest.

“I have Mrs. Elliot,” Tony replied with pride. “With the backing of their Graces and the Duke of Derbyshire willing to fund my studies, I have been accepted to Oxford to begin my studies when the school year commences in September.”

“Do you still want to read the law?” Elliot asked.

“No sir,” Tony stated emphatically. Seeing the questioning looks form his hosts he explained.

“These weeks that I have worked with Mr. Chalmers have shown me a path that piques my interest more than the law. My intention is to get a gentleman’s education, then I will return to work as an under-steward under Mr. Chalmers One day I hope that I will be ready to become a steward in my own right,” he stated with pride.

“Will you be happy working for others, Tony?” Elliot asked. “I have no doubt that you have the intelligence and drive for the path that you have chosen, as long it is the true calling for you.”

“Once I realised that very little of that which my parents taught me was correct, and I finally understood from where true happiness is derived,” Tony explained what he only recently himself had come to understand, “it was as if I was starting my life again, and from this point on the past influences were removed completely.

“It is fulfilling work that I find I enjoy immensely. I had considered the law as it was as far removed from my parents as possible, but I had an epiphany and now know that it is not for me to atone for their crimes, and my life is my own. I want to live a good life, a life of service, and I believe the path I have chosen is the one for me.”

“Will you not feel resentment toward the Darcys and the Bennets if your mother does not change her path and meets her end?” Elliot asked a penetrating question.

Tony considered his answer carefully before responding.

“No sir. Her choices are hers alone,” he answered sombrely.

“I have written her two letters beseeching her to change her path, but I realize I have no control over her decision more than that. Just like I made my choice to live a righteous life, she can do so as well. Just like it was no one but my father’s fault that he met his end at the end of the hangman’s noose, If that is my mother’s fate, it will be her decisions that lead her there.

I refuse to blame the victims as she and her cohorts do for the ills that they themselves have wrought.

“If she does not choose a different path, and he meets her end, I will be sad as I will always love her, but I know that I have done everything in my power, and the decision is hers to make.”

“You are wise beyond your eighteen years,” Emily Elliot offered with pride for the young man she saw maturing day by day before her eyes.

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