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Story: Her Grace Revisited

Lady Anne’s first confinement resulted in the birth to her son Fitzwilliam Alexander Darcy, who, to ease confusion with her Fitzwilliam nephews, was called William by all of the family.

After giving birth to her beloved son, she had become with child five times, with only one surviving until birth.

The first four had been miscarriages that ended between the second and fourth months.

They were difficult losses that sent her into the depths of depression for many months while her body recovered slowly, though it was never fully to the state that she had been prior to the pregnancy.

The last one was the hardest, she had carried the babe to term, and then the baby boy had been stillborn .

The accoucheur who attended her along with his trainee, Mr. Frederick Gillham, could offer no medical reason so chalked it up to ‘God’s Will’.

At the time, both physicians and Pemberley’s midwife had all agreed that Lady Anne should not increase again as they were concerned that she would not survive another pregnancy.

Six months later, once she had recovered from the depression, George Darcy and his beloved wife had a furious argument.

It was the first time that the almost ten-year-old William had ever heard his parents fight.

In the end his Mama had carried her point, and his parents had agreed that they would leave it up to God in His wisdom.

When young William was eleven his Mama had informed him that she was increasing again.

As much as he was worried for his mother, he had been excited about having a sibling as his circle of people he could play with only included his cousins on occasion and the steward’s son, George Wickham, who was a year younger.

As his playmate got older, the more his devious and deceitful nature was exposed to the boys they played with, but he hid it well from Mr. Darcy, his godfather.

Lady Anne had carried her baby for eight- and one-half months, and unlike the previous time this baby was active, providing proof that he or she was alive multiple times each day, most especially when the expectant mother tried to sleep.

She entered her confinement, and a month after his twelfth birthday his mama gifted young William with a beautiful baby sister who was a small copy of her mama.

As happy as he was to have a little sister, William Darcy was beset by worry.

His father looked so very grave, and he heard talk that his mama had lost too much blood then lapsed into unconsciousness.

Less than four and twenty hours after she gave life to her daughter, Lady Anne had a raging fever.

The bleeding had ceased, but the physicians were concerned that she would be too weak to fight the infection after all the blood she had lost. The fever ravaged her for three days and Mr. Darcy had been prepared by the medical men that it was only a matter of time until she succumbed.

That night, when it seemed that she was getting weaker by the minute, George Darcy had impulsively marched into the nursery and picked up his sleeping daughter.

He was determined that his beloved wife would feel the presence of the life that she sacrificed so much to bring into the world before she was called home to God.

The baby, not yet named, woke as he placed her next to her ailing mama, and started to squall indignantly at being disturbed.

For whatever reason, one they all attributed to a miracle from God, his wife’s breathing started to gain some strength and that night the fever broke.

She woke the next day begging for two things: water and to see her child.

Young William, who had never seen his father cry before, watched as his Papa wept openly and unashamedly while he offered prayers of thanks to God for bringing his beloved Anne back to him .

The fever had broken when she awoke, and his mama had gained strength every day from then on.

They had named his sister Georgiana, combining the names of both of her parents.

Two months later, Lady Anne Darcy was fully recovered, hale and healthy as she was before the miscarriages and stillborn birth.

Darcy would not fail to appreciate the gift from God that was his mother’s presence with them, and he would never again reject her council out of hand. He had to become the man that both of his parents, indeed, all his family, would be proud of once again.

He was admitted to Matlock House by the butler.

After he had greeted the family who were relaxing in the family sitting room, he asked for a private meeting with his mother.

Once they were seated in the sitting room attached to her suite, Lady Anne addressed the drawn look on her son.

“You asked to meet with me, William.” Lady Anne sat back and waited for her son to speak.

“I have been such a fool, mother,” Darcy started, and the lady’s eyebrows arched as this apology was not what she had expected from her son, who had allowed pride and his judgment to overrule good sense too many times.

“I must offer my deepest apologies. I have been behaving like a man who neither you nor my late, honoured father could have been proud.”

“It is true that I have not been happy with your behaviour, William. To tell the truth, the way you have behaved toward those you deem below you who are not your family, friends, or dependants, has disappointed me greatly many times, but I have never stopped loving you as my son.” Lady Anne agreed.

“Never have I doubted your love, Mama, no matter how unworthy of it I at times have been.” He kissed his mother on both cheeks.

“I had forgotten that your being with us today is a gift from God which I have been squandering.

Well, no more! This is my oath as a Darcy and as a gentleman.

At first, I was indignant at the reproofs that Lady Elizabeth flung at my door; but once I saw through my wounded pride and considered her words honestly, I saw them for what they are. They were nothing but the truth.

“Church today was the first time that I experienced the extent of the Bennet’s reach. Those that would normally fawn all over me would barely acknowledge me and the rest did not even look at me,” Lady Anne’s son said, looking like her lost little boy from years ago.

“I know that the man both your beloved, late father and I believed you to be is inside of you begging to be released. In the steps that you have started taking, you are on a path that will lead you to where you need to go. As I said, I always loved you, but I did not always like the man that you had started to become. My prayer to God is that you are able to recover yourself, much as I did when everyone thought that all was lost.” As his mother looked at him to see the depths of his soul, he was as certain as he was that he would draw his next breath that he would be the man that she and the rest of the world would be proud of.

“It shames me how I dismissed your feelings about Mrs. Younge. If I had but listened, then Georgie…” Lady Anne cut her son off before he disappeared down the deep and dark rabbit hole of self-recrimination.

“William, look at me, Son,” she asked gently.

Darcy raised his eyes to meet her cerulean orbs, the very eye colour that all three living Darcys had in common, the one that now looked back at him with all the compassion at her disposal, “if you self-flagellate from now until the second coming, will it change anything that had happened?”

“No, Mama, it will not,” he agreed, knowing that she spoke the truth.

“I will not sit before you and tell you to forget the past. That would be an error as well. What I will tell you is to remember the past and learn from it. What is, is. It is only when we refuse to learn and grow that we are destined to repeat the mistakes of the past repeatedly.” She again squeezed his hand.

“What good would that be to anyone if we only remonstrated about the past and did not learn from it? Let me ask you a question, William. When you and Richard retained Mrs. Annesley, did you make a snap decision, or did you verify her characters ad nauseum ?”

“Yes, Mama, we did the latter,” the son smiled for the first time during this interview with his mother.

“If you were not able to learn, William, then rather than making sure that you did not repeat the same errors in every way that you could, you would not have checked, rechecked, then rechecked her characters again. That is exactly what I mean by learning, changing, and growing. You have made errors in your management of Pemberley have you not?” She challenged with a gentle smile.

“You know I have, Mama. Both you and Mr. Chalmers have seen me make errors.” A truly chagrined Darcy admitted as he thought about an error he had made just after his dear father passed where he almost cost the estate the spring planting.

“How many times did you repeat said errors, my son?” His mother challenged him to think.

“As far as I know, Mama, never,” he recalled as he smiled again because he could see what his mother was trying to teach him.

“Exactly, because you have the capacity to learn and change. You are one of the most intelligent men that I know, William. Because I have seen your capacity to change once you recognise the error of your ways, there is no doubt in my mind that you will be able to do the same in this case. It will not be easy, and I feel that Lady Elizabeth highlighting your relative insignificance in our world will only serve you in good stead. You my dearest and favourite son…” she smiled sweetly.

“I am your only son, Mama,” he interrupted with his first genuine smile in a while, one that showed his dimples.

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