Page 120
Story: Her Grace Revisited
Lady Anne’s first confinement resulted in the birth to her son Fitzwilliam Alexander Darcy, who, to ease confusion with her Fitzwilliam nephews, was called William by all of the family.
After giving birth to her beloved son, she had become with child five times, with only one surviving until birth.
The first four had been miscarriages that ended between the second and fourth months.
They were difficult losses that sent her into the depths of depression for many months while her body recovered slowly, though it was never fully to the state that she had been prior to the pregnancy.
The last one was the hardest, she had carried the babe to term, and then the baby boy had been stillborn .
The accoucheur who attended her along with his trainee, Mr. Frederick Gillham, could offer no medical reason so chalked it up to ‘God’s Will’.
At the time, both physicians and Pemberley’s midwife had all agreed that Lady Anne should not increase again as they were concerned that she would not survive another pregnancy.
Six months later, once she had recovered from the depression, George Darcy and his beloved wife had a furious argument.
It was the first time that the almost ten-year-old William had ever heard his parents fight.
In the end his Mama had carried her point, and his parents had agreed that they would leave it up to God in His wisdom.
When young William was eleven his Mama had informed him that she was increasing again.
As much as he was worried for his mother, he had been excited about having a sibling as his circle of people he could play with only included his cousins on occasion and the steward’s son, George Wickham, who was a year younger.
As his playmate got older, the more his devious and deceitful nature was exposed to the boys they played with, but he hid it well from Mr. Darcy, his godfather.
Lady Anne had carried her baby for eight- and one-half months, and unlike the previous time this baby was active, providing proof that he or she was alive multiple times each day, most especially when the expectant mother tried to sleep.
She entered her confinement, and a month after his twelfth birthday his mama gifted young William with a beautiful baby sister who was a small copy of her mama.
As happy as he was to have a little sister, William Darcy was beset by worry.
His father looked so very grave, and he heard talk that his mama had lost too much blood then lapsed into unconsciousness.
Less than four and twenty hours after she gave life to her daughter, Lady Anne had a raging fever.
The bleeding had ceased, but the physicians were concerned that she would be too weak to fight the infection after all the blood she had lost. The fever ravaged her for three days and Mr. Darcy had been prepared by the medical men that it was only a matter of time until she succumbed.
That night, when it seemed that she was getting weaker by the minute, George Darcy had impulsively marched into the nursery and picked up his sleeping daughter.
He was determined that his beloved wife would feel the presence of the life that she sacrificed so much to bring into the world before she was called home to God.
The baby, not yet named, woke as he placed her next to her ailing mama, and started to squall indignantly at being disturbed.
For whatever reason, one they all attributed to a miracle from God, his wife’s breathing started to gain some strength and that night the fever broke.
She woke the next day begging for two things: water and to see her child.
Young William, who had never seen his father cry before, watched as his Papa wept openly and unashamedly while he offered prayers of thanks to God for bringing his beloved Anne back to him .
The fever had broken when she awoke, and his mama had gained strength every day from then on.
They had named his sister Georgiana, combining the names of both of her parents.
Two months later, Lady Anne Darcy was fully recovered, hale and healthy as she was before the miscarriages and stillborn birth.
Darcy would not fail to appreciate the gift from God that was his mother’s presence with them, and he would never again reject her council out of hand. He had to become the man that both of his parents, indeed, all his family, would be proud of once again.
He was admitted to Matlock House by the butler.
After he had greeted the family who were relaxing in the family sitting room, he asked for a private meeting with his mother.
Once they were seated in the sitting room attached to her suite, Lady Anne addressed the drawn look on her son.
“You asked to meet with me, William.” Lady Anne sat back and waited for her son to speak.
“I have been such a fool, mother,” Darcy started, and the lady’s eyebrows arched as this apology was not what she had expected from her son, who had allowed pride and his judgment to overrule good sense too many times.
“I must offer my deepest apologies. I have been behaving like a man who neither you nor my late, honoured father could have been proud.”
“It is true that I have not been happy with your behaviour, William. To tell the truth, the way you have behaved toward those you deem below you who are not your family, friends, or dependants, has disappointed me greatly many times, but I have never stopped loving you as my son.” Lady Anne agreed.
“Never have I doubted your love, Mama, no matter how unworthy of it I at times have been.” He kissed his mother on both cheeks.
“I had forgotten that your being with us today is a gift from God which I have been squandering.
Well, no more! This is my oath as a Darcy and as a gentleman.
At first, I was indignant at the reproofs that Lady Elizabeth flung at my door; but once I saw through my wounded pride and considered her words honestly, I saw them for what they are. They were nothing but the truth.
“Church today was the first time that I experienced the extent of the Bennet’s reach. Those that would normally fawn all over me would barely acknowledge me and the rest did not even look at me,” Lady Anne’s son said, looking like her lost little boy from years ago.
“I know that the man both your beloved, late father and I believed you to be is inside of you begging to be released. In the steps that you have started taking, you are on a path that will lead you to where you need to go. As I said, I always loved you, but I did not always like the man that you had started to become. My prayer to God is that you are able to recover yourself, much as I did when everyone thought that all was lost.” As his mother looked at him to see the depths of his soul, he was as certain as he was that he would draw his next breath that he would be the man that she and the rest of the world would be proud of.
“It shames me how I dismissed your feelings about Mrs. Younge. If I had but listened, then Georgie…” Lady Anne cut her son off before he disappeared down the deep and dark rabbit hole of self-recrimination.
“William, look at me, Son,” she asked gently.
Darcy raised his eyes to meet her cerulean orbs, the very eye colour that all three living Darcys had in common, the one that now looked back at him with all the compassion at her disposal, “if you self-flagellate from now until the second coming, will it change anything that had happened?”
“No, Mama, it will not,” he agreed, knowing that she spoke the truth.
“I will not sit before you and tell you to forget the past. That would be an error as well. What I will tell you is to remember the past and learn from it. What is, is. It is only when we refuse to learn and grow that we are destined to repeat the mistakes of the past repeatedly.” She again squeezed his hand.
“What good would that be to anyone if we only remonstrated about the past and did not learn from it? Let me ask you a question, William. When you and Richard retained Mrs. Annesley, did you make a snap decision, or did you verify her characters ad nauseum ?”
“Yes, Mama, we did the latter,” the son smiled for the first time during this interview with his mother.
“If you were not able to learn, William, then rather than making sure that you did not repeat the same errors in every way that you could, you would not have checked, rechecked, then rechecked her characters again. That is exactly what I mean by learning, changing, and growing. You have made errors in your management of Pemberley have you not?” She challenged with a gentle smile.
“You know I have, Mama. Both you and Mr. Chalmers have seen me make errors.” A truly chagrined Darcy admitted as he thought about an error he had made just after his dear father passed where he almost cost the estate the spring planting.
“How many times did you repeat said errors, my son?” His mother challenged him to think.
“As far as I know, Mama, never,” he recalled as he smiled again because he could see what his mother was trying to teach him.
“Exactly, because you have the capacity to learn and change. You are one of the most intelligent men that I know, William. Because I have seen your capacity to change once you recognise the error of your ways, there is no doubt in my mind that you will be able to do the same in this case. It will not be easy, and I feel that Lady Elizabeth highlighting your relative insignificance in our world will only serve you in good stead. You my dearest and favourite son…” she smiled sweetly.
“I am your only son, Mama,” he interrupted with his first genuine smile in a while, one that showed his dimples.
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 79
- Page 80
- Page 81
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 95
- Page 96
- Page 97
- Page 98
- Page 99
- Page 100
- Page 101
- Page 102
- Page 103
- Page 104
- Page 105
- Page 106
- Page 107
- Page 108
- Page 109
- Page 110
- Page 111
- Page 112
- Page 113
- Page 114
- Page 115
- Page 116
- Page 117
- Page 118
- Page 119
- Page 120 (Reading here)
- Page 121
- Page 122
- Page 123
- Page 124
- Page 125
- Page 126
- Page 127
- Page 128
- Page 129
- Page 130
- Page 131
- Page 132
- Page 133
- Page 134
- Page 135
- Page 136
- Page 137
- Page 138
- Page 139
- Page 140
- Page 141
- Page 142
- Page 143
- Page 144
- Page 145
- Page 146
- Page 147
- Page 148
- Page 149
- Page 150
- Page 151
- Page 152
- Page 153
- Page 154
- Page 155
- Page 156
- Page 157
- Page 158
- Page 159
- Page 160
- Page 161
- Page 162
- Page 163
- Page 164
- Page 165
- Page 166
- Page 167
- Page 168
- Page 169
- Page 170
- Page 171
- Page 172
- Page 173
- Page 174
- Page 175
- Page 176
- Page 177
- Page 178
- Page 179
- Page 180
- Page 181
- Page 182
- Page 183
- Page 184
- Page 185
- Page 186
- Page 187
- Page 188
- Page 189
- Page 190
- Page 191
- Page 192
- Page 193
- Page 194
- Page 195
- Page 196
- Page 197
- Page 198
- Page 199
- Page 200
- Page 201
- Page 202
- Page 203
- Page 204
- Page 205
- Page 206
- Page 207
- Page 208
- Page 209
- Page 210
- Page 211
- Page 212
- Page 213
- Page 214
- Page 215
- Page 216
- Page 217
- Page 218
- Page 219
- Page 220
- Page 221
- Page 222
- Page 223
- Page 224
- Page 225
- Page 226
- Page 227
- Page 228
- Page 229
- Page 230
- Page 231
- Page 232
- Page 233
- Page 234
- Page 235
- Page 236
- Page 237
- Page 238
- Page 239
- Page 240
- Page 241
- Page 242
- Page 243
- Page 244
- Page 245
- Page 246
- Page 247
- Page 248
- Page 249
- Page 250
- Page 251
- Page 252
- Page 253
- Page 254
- Page 255
- Page 256
- Page 257