Page 13 of Her Duke’s Second Chance (Regency Second Chances #1)
CHAPTER 13
“ I was unaware that you harbored romantic feelings towards your husband. Is this a recent development?” Selina asked with a frown.
“I do not harbor romantic feelings towards him,” Georgiana protested. “I am just…confused.”
“Confused about your feelings?” Selina sought to clarify.
Georgiana sighed irritably. “Confused about the situation I find myself in. We have lived peacefully for the past year, without any expectations between us. Or at least, I have not felt the weight of any…and now…it is all…different,” she mumbled, slumping down on the pillows and curling in on herself.
“We were nothing to each other and then he…” her voice trailed off as she stared into the distance, thinking of the breadth of his chest, how shameless he was, walking around naked in their borrowed chambers, how decisively he had dealt with Newston…
It is just so unfair. Why must he be so …?
Even in her thoughts, she could not think of the right word to describe how her insides became tied in knots and the swooping sensation she experienced each time she laid eyes on him.
Selina covered Georgiana’s hand with her own and Georgiana looked up to meet Selina’s eyes. Selina looked uncharacteristically somber.
“Georgiana darling, you must be careful,” she said quietly.
Georgiana’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean by that?”
“Remember always what your marriage is and has been from the start. Guard your feelings. Guard your heart, my friend.”
Georgiana merely looked at her.
“Your marriage is one of convenience. It is no love match. Do not behave as if it is,” her friend added.
Georgiana’s eyes fluttered and she looked away. She wanted to shrink from Selina’s words and did not want them to be true—and that was extremely disconcerting to her.
“But what of him? What about his behavior? Am I simply to disregard it? What should I do?”
Selina shrugged bleakly. “I wish I had an answer for you. But as you well know, I was also married off to an absent man at nine and ten.”
“Yes, I know. But you lived with him, albeit platonically, for five years.”
Selina snorted, shaking her head. “It was not by design. I remember my wedding night well…” she shook her head, “the ladies had washed me, brushed my hair, and dressed me in lace and satin, ready for my husband in our bed. But I waited for him for so long, I was so nervous…that I fell asleep. In the morning, I awoke to find that I was still alone in my bed. Goodness, I have told you this many times already, have I not?”
“It is all right, my friend. You thought he had come, found you asleep and left.”
“Yes. I went and sought him out. He sent me away with such… harsh words. I barely knew anything, and lived out most of my married life in utter bewilderment. I have been left floundering since his demise last year. I do not know what I would have done if I had not found you.”
Georgiana took Selina’s hand in hers and squeezed it in appreciation.
“I trust that you know the feeling is mutual my dear.”
“Of course, Georgie darling,” Selina responded. “Oh. Incidentally, have you tried asking Cecile? You remember it was she who enlightened me on how a man’s arousal comes about—and that it was likely my husband could not…participate.”
Georgiana laughed cheerlessly, “Yes, I do remember and no, I have not. I have been avoiding speaking with her since I got back. I know she is dying to give me quite the scolding for running off without her. I do not think I could tell her what happened between myself and the duke without melting into a puddle of mortification. I feel that she will think me extremely foolish.”
Selina rubbed her shoulder comfortingly. “I doubt that very much. Why would she think you were being foolish? That is ridiculous. And perhaps she might have come across a comparable situation in the French court. Do you not think it is likely?”
“Ha! I doubt there is a French woman anywhere who would behave as I did. They would know exactly what to do to have their men eating out of their palms.”
“Is that what you want? For the duke to eat out of your palm?”
Georgiana paused, blinking uneasily as she thought about what she had just said.
Is that what I want? Do I want him to fawn over me?
Her cheeks heated at the thought. Selina pointed to her accusingly. “You are falling in love with him!”
“No, I am not! I could never be so foolhardy. I just want to have a normal marriage; with the prospect of children and mutual respect between us. Is that too much to ask?”
Selina sighed before shaking her head slowly. “We had best speak with Cecile as soon as possible. She will know what to do.”
“Agreed. Do you think we could be a little naughty and perhaps add some whiskey to this tea?” Georgiana suggested.
“How could I possibly resist a little naughtiness? It is practically my calling,” Selina agreed with a chuckle.
“What a whirlwind!” Lionel exclaimed once Robert had completed his story.
Robert nodded slowly. “Indeed.”
Lionel narrowed his eyes and stared at Robert. “And I suspect you have not divulged every detail to me.”
Robert huffed. “Certain intimacies are best kept between husband and wife, where they belong.”
“Ah, so you have remembered you have a wife now.”
Robert gave him a look. “I always knew. And you know why I kept my distance.”
Lionel’s face sobered. “You mean Angela.”
Robert turned his head away and stared out the window. The murmuring voices of the other club members faded into the background as their little alcove became engulfed in somber silence.
“There was nothing you could have done for her, my friend. Once that horse fell on her, it was too late,” Lionel said.
Robert flinched, shaking his head. “I keep thinking back to those days. She came to that park to see me. I was the man who brought her in front of death.”
Lionel was shaking his head. “No, no, no. You cannot decide to warp the truth in order to blame yourself. Her death was an accident, Robert. A tragic accident, yes, but an accident all the same.”
Robert clenched his jaw. “I cannot risk that again.”
“Then why did you marry the current duchess?”
Robert covered his face with his hands and shook his head. “You know full well that I ran. I ran for seven years trying to escape the guilt. Then my father died, and my grandmother fell ill, and I had no choice but to return. She begged me, Lionel. She begged me to stay and have a family. Despite her constant pleading, it took me three years to break down my defenses and acquiesce.”
“And you went through the motions to find yourself a bride.”
Robert nodded. His mouth twisted into a sheepish smile. “And now I do not know what I am to do with her.”
“Over the course of the last year, I have had little opportunity to get to know Her Grace, but I understand the ladies of the ton speak highly of her. They say she is kind, patient, and friendly.”
Robert shrugged. “It is not as though I would care if she was rude and unfriendly to them. It would be more closely aligned with what the ton deserves.”
“Indeed,” Lionel said dryly. “My point is that she is a person, deserving to be judged on her own merits and not simply because she is not Angela. I think that is the cause of your inner turmoil.”
“Who said anything about inner turmoil?”
Lionel laughed. “I know you well, old chap. Just listening to your tale of woe provided me with enough clues. You encountered your wife in a situation where you were forced to deal with her as a human being. Now you cannot return to seeing her as some abstract thing you can simply ignore.”
Robert gave him a sidelong glance. “When did you get so wise?”
“I have always been wise.” Lionel clapped him on the shoulder companionably.
Robert snorted derisively. “Your Cambridge results would indicate otherwise.”
“Why you little—” Lionel began in a half-annoyed, half-amused tone, but was interrupted by another man’s voice.
“Lord Stanmore, Your Grace, fancy meeting you here,” the man proclaimed from behind Robert.
He turned to see another old schoolmate of theirs, Count Jakob Gerhardt, grinning at them both. “How serendipitous. I have been meaning to speak with you, Emberford.”
The duke gestured to the third armchair. “Have a seat, my lord.”
The German sat down as Lionel lifted a hand to summon the waiter.
“What did you mean to speak with me about?” Robert asked.
The count took a deep breath. “I have a business proposition for you. You know my family is in the import and export business. Not as extensive as your British East India company, but we are doing well. We wish to establish a real foothold in England, and I believe that your family would make an excellent partner.”
Robert raised an eyebrow. “That is flattering. What makes you think that we would make good business partners?”
“I have known you a long time, Emberford. I know you are an honorable man. Aside from that, your reputation as a shrewd businessman precedes you. You will forgive me for bringing it up. We Germans are not so hung up on being working men,” he grinned mischievously.
Robert nodded his head in acknowledgment. “Well, I thank you for the compliment, if that is what it was. More likely flattery designed to persuade me to deal with you. I am afraid you will still have to prove to me that your business is viable.”
The German’s smile widened. “You see, that is why I said to my father that we must speak with Emberford if we are to be a success.”
Robert cocked an eyebrow. “All right then. You can stop the flattery and give me the details instead.”
Count Gerhardt nodded, leaning forward towards Robert. “It is a remarkably simple idea. My family has a vast land holding, and we grow many items and rear many animals. We turn our pigs into fine meats and serve them alongside sauerkraut—do you know it? Sauerkraut is good for soldiers at war. We wish to supply your army as they fight the French, but, of course, your government is reluctant to deal with us as foreigners. But if you are our partner…”
“Ah, so you want me to front you?”
“No, no. Not front us. Real partner. My father will be in London next week. Will you meet with him?”
Robert rubbed his chin and considered the Count’s proposal.
It would be an excellent excuse to remain in London, and I have not made any other commitments.
“Very well,” he agreed. “I will meet with your father, but I make you no promises.”
Count Jakob gave a bow. “None expected. If we cannot convince you on merit alone,” he clapped his hands and then raised them in the air, “no hard feelings.”
“As they say the proof of pudding is in the eating,” Robert said.
“Indeed,” Count Jakob nodded sagely. “Meanwhile, let us break bread together. I heard somewhere that you had gotten married. Is this true?”