Page 21

Twenty-One

R aiya was incredible.

Azreth was astounded by the teleportation enchantment she’d made, even though she called it sloppy work. Perhaps other kin knew of this magic, but he’d never seen its like. On top of that, she had fought her way into the temple and through the cultists to get to him. She’d even convinced several other mortals to help her rescue him—her night elf Roamer friends, Jai and Madira, and (to his mingled confusion and annoyance) Adamus, the Paladin they’d set free on the road, whom she’d run into again in the city.

When she’d left Azreth in the temple after the cultists trapped him, she hadn’t run to save herself. She’d immediately gone back to the Roamers, demanded assistance on his behalf, planned a rescue, recruited help, and produced a powerful enchantment to shift him out, all in a matter of hours.

Azreth imagined it over and over, thinking of how angry and determined she must have been to have done all that for him. He pictured her storming into the camp and shouting orders, mercilessly blasting through cultists with her baton, thinking of him all the while.

Something shifted between them after that night.

The change was mostly in him, if he thought about it. Raiya had always been kind to him, always smiling at him, always offering him her hand. He was the one who had maintained the barrier between them.

When she asked him to return with her to the Roamer camp just outside of Ontag-ul to visit Jai and Madira, he agreed easily, despite his mixed feelings about the place. He followed wherever she guided him, not just because he had nowhere else to go, but because he trusted her wisdom and because he wanted to see her smile when he said yes. He was an obedient pet, a vigilant bodyguard, and her shadow. He would go anywhere with her, do anything she asked.

Succumbing to the enthrallment was terrifyingly easy. He slipped beneath the waves of desire and trust, drowning himself. He was fully broken, and the longer it went on, the less he cared.

If he’d been enthralled by another demon, he would have been doomed—thrown on his back and ruthlessly used, or exorcised, or simply executed in disgust, like Atara. But with Raiya… perhaps he would live through this.

The Roamers welcomed them into their midst again. Jai and Madira offered them a bedroll, even after it became clear that they realized what he was.

He knelt beside Raiya as she tucked herself into her bed. Rain pattered against the walls of the tent. Outside, there was a burst of laughter from a group of Roamers who were still awake. Azreth pictured them smiling and laughing, enjoying each other’s company.

He had hated them before. Their joy had made him furious. Now, he thought nothing of it. He was not even annoyed by the noise. He was embarrassed by how he’d reacted to them before.

Raiya’s hair was freshly washed and damp, shining in the lantern light, and the skin bared by the collar of her undershirt was clean and smooth. Through the thin, white cloth of her underclothes, he could make out the faint shape of her body, all supple and slim and curved. When he looked at her, he had an urge to touch her that was completely different from anything he’d felt with another person before. It was nothing like the dull, obligatory attraction he’d felt toward Nariel, and he didn’t know why.

“It’s been a while since you slept,” she said. “You must need rest.”

“Not here.”

She smiled gently. “No one will hurt you here. And I’ll be with you.”

A dull pain cut through his chest—the enthrallment. Before now, he hadn’t known that enthrallment presented not only as an ailment of a mind, but as a physical sickness as well. His chest ached constantly. When she was sweet to him, it got worse. He had never loved pain so much.

“I can’t.” It wasn’t that he didn’t trust her—only his own fear held him back. He would never be able to sleep while he could still hear dozens of people in other tents nearby.

“Then will you just hold me while I sleep?” she asked.

“Are you cold?”

“No.”

He looked at her for a long moment, glancing toward and then away from the healing bite mark on her shoulder. “Does it not frighten you to have my arms around you? Does it not make you feel… trapped? In danger?”

She smirked, amused. “I like having your arms around me.”

There was a painful twist in his heart again. He slid closer to her, looming over her, but instead of shying away, her eyes went soft and sweet.

“Do you know that you’re beautiful?” she said.

She must have meant to say something else. No one had ever used the word beautiful in relation to scarred, disfigured Azreth. But she slid her hand over his arm, savoring the feel of his skin as if it were luxurious fabric.

“I suppose you must know that you’re impressive,” she said. “And I suppose demons are designed to seduce mortals, so maybe it goes without saying. But you’re beautiful. I’d bet that you’re uncommonly beautiful even among other demons.”

The pain in his chest throbbed, so intense he thought he might die. He took her hand, and then he was leaning down, putting his face close to hers. He paused with his mouth an inch away from hers, almost thinking better of it, because maybe she’d misspoken or maybe he would frighten her or maybe he wasn’t doing this right.

But then he leaned in and carefully touched his lips to hers, the way she’d done to him before. A thrill went through him, from his head to his toes.It was reckless, transgressive, deviant. It was a spectacular display of trust to invite someone’s mouth and teeth so close.

When he finally broke away, he did so reluctantly. “I am happy to do as you ask,” he murmured.

She seemed slightly breathless. “Happy?”

“Yes.”

Since she’d removed her outer clothing before bed, he did too, and then he slid into bed behind her. The space was so small that he was forced to press against her, bending his body around hers. She balled herself up against him, pulling his arm over her waist as if she saw it as a source of comfort rather than a weapon.

* * *

As he was about to enter their tent the next evening, he overheard his own name. He stopped just outside the door flap, listening. Raiya was speaking to someone inside.

“Don’t ever let a suspiciously handsome, rich man court you, Jai. It’s not worth it.”

“What about a suspiciously handsome, rich lady?” It was Raiya’s young elf friend. Azreth could hear the cheeky grin in her voice.

Raiya paused. “Fair enough. If you can find a nice elf girl, I’m sure you’ll be better off. But don’t let anyone bully you into falling in love with them, either way. And if someone hurts you when they’re angry, don’t believe them when they say they’ll never do it again.”

For once, Jai didn’t fill the heavy silence.

“It doesn’t seem so bad at first, when you’re still blinded by love and you still believe it was a one-off event. But it’s never just a one-off. Once he realizes he can take his anger out on you, he’ll do it every time. You’ll start to worry about any little thing that might upset him, and… It’s not love after that. You’ll feel like a hostage.”

Azreth heard something shifting, perhaps one of them moving to touch the other.

“Just be careful,” Raiya finished quietly.

“Raiya…” Jai said hesitantly. “Don’t you ever…”

“What?”

“I mean, he’s a demon ,” Jai whispered.

Azreth closed his eyes, almost a flinch.

“Didn’t he keep you hostage?” Jai asked. “Hasn’t he hurt you, too? Isn’t he dangerous? How can you be sure it’s not the same as it was with your husband?”

Raiya sounded darkly amused. “He’s certainly more bloodthirsty than Nirlan ever was.”

“That’s exactly what I mean. I almost thought you hadn’t noticed.”

“Oh, I’ve noticed.”

“Then what’s the difference between him and Nirlan?” Jai asked.

Raiya was quiet for a long time. Azreth was on pins and needles, his heart heavy. He almost turned around and walked away, but he couldn’t bring himself to move. He knew Raiya would try to defend him, even though Jai was right, and that pained him. He imagined her weakly protesting that he wasn’t that bad, that he had only hurt her a little, as if that made it all right.

In the end, she said something he hadn’t expected.

“Azreth believes mortals are different from demons,” Raiya said finally. “They’re not, but that’s what he believes. He thinks mortals think and feel more deeply than he does. I think he thinks about that a lot. He wants to understand us—to understand me. He wants to know what I’m thinking and feeling, and why.”

“Oh,” Jai said, but it sounded like the younger girl was having trouble following. Azreth was, too.

“Nirlan never thought about my thoughts and feelings,” Raiya said. “I don’t know if it occurred to him that I had any.”

“Oh.”

“The real difference is… I chose this. And I’m happy. My life is not spinning out of control anymore. I’m choosing where I want to be, what I want to do, and who I want to do it with. I’m not the same person I was when I was rotting in that castle.”

“That wasn’t long ago. How much could you have changed already?”

“I don’t know how to explain it. It’s like something snapped. I don’t know who that person was, but it’s not me. Not anymore.”

“That’s good. I think?”

Raiya laughed a little. “It’s very good.”

Azreth relaxed a fraction. He pushed aside the tent flap and stepped inside. Jai and Raiya were lounging on the floor of the tent.

Jai jumped. “Oh, hello, Azreth!” she said brightly.

He looked down at her. To his amusement, she just smiled at him, as if she had no misgivings about him at all.

He couldn’t dislike someone who worried over Raiya as much as he did.

* * *

On their third night with the Roamers, Raiya persuaded him to sit with her and the others around their bonfire while she ate dinner.

Jai had been persuaded by the group to sing while musicians played their twanging stringed instruments. She’d been sipping sweet cider all evening, and her face was glowing blue-black in the firelight.

When the song ended, she laughed and quickly sat down. She covered her face as the group applauded, but she was still smiling. He could feel her mingled pride and embarrassment from where he sat.

Azreth had never been young, exactly, but he had spent his first year of life in constant fear and confusion. There had been no joy. Not like this. He envied her.

But he knew now that it wasn’t as simple as that. Young mortals were carefree and happy, but also sensitive and contemplative. Their emotions were intense. Jai was usually smiling and laughing when she was among others, but more than once, he’d seen her sitting alone with tears welling in her eyes. The first time he’d seen her that way, he had watched her for a few minutes, then approached her.

“What happened?” he asked.

She looked up at him, startled, and a tear dripped down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away. “Nothing.”

He moved closer to examine her. “Are you hurt?”

“No.” She sniffed and smiled a little. “Are you worried about me?”

He had never felt a protective urge toward anyone but Raiya, but he found himself wanting to help Jai. He didn’t like seeing her upset and alone.“If someone hurt you, I will make sure they don’t do it again.”

“No one hurt me.” She shook her head. “You wouldn’t understand. Did Raiya tell you to come over here?”

“No. She is with the shepherds.”

Jai sniffed, crossing her arms. “Ironic that the only one here who cares about me is the demon.”

He frowned, perplexed. “But everyone here loves you.”

“No they don’t.”

For a moment, he wondered if he had greatly misunderstood the other Roamers’ behavior toward Jai. But then he realized that she was the one who was mistaken. Perhaps she even knew it, deep down.

He knelt beside her. “You must keep moving,” he said. “You must not give in to despair. A mortal life is too short.” She gave him a narrowed glance, and he sensed her flare of irritation, but he went on anyway, raising his eyes to the hills behind them. “I was asked to fetch water. Can you show me the way to the river bank?”

“It’s right over there. It’s not hard to find.”

“Please show me.”

She reluctantly got to her feet and stalked in the direction of the river.

Gradually, her bad mood faded, and soon she was smiling and chattering as they walked, even though Azreth could still sense a sadness hidden in her. A lot of mortals had that sadness buried deep within them.

* * *

While Raiya used her research from the temple’s library to work on developing another counter-enchantment for his binding, Azreth had free time, which was something of a novelty. He spent much of that time watching the other people in the camp. At first, he’d watched out of wariness, but after he grew more comfortable among the Roamers, it became something he did merely out of curiosity.

He realized he could tell which people were mated by watching whether they went into the same tent at the end of the day. He watched those ones particularly closely. The happiest ones seemed to spend a great deal of time together and touched each other often.

He couldn’t help but notice that he and Raiya did both of those things, too.

The pair he was most curious about consisted of a young, pale human boy and a dark-skinned girl who spent much time together but still seemed shy around each other.

From what Raiya told him, the two were in the midst of some kind of courting ritual. They both wanted to be together, but they could not tell each other that they both wanted to be together, even though they both knew that they both knew they both wanted to be together… Or perhaps Azreth hadn’t understood it correctly, because that seemed too convoluted to be feasible.

He watched the two of them sit together by the bonfire one evening. They talked for a while, and then the girl pulled a paper package from her pocket and presented it to the boy. The boy looked surprised, but pleased. He opened the package to reveal a strip of something small and colorful.

There was a burst of delight so powerful that it made Azreth squint. The boy stared at the object, practically glowing with happiness.

“I made it for you,” the girl said. She sounded almost apologetic, but Azreth sensed her pride. She took the strip—a dozen different colors of thread woven into an intricate pattern—and tied it around the boy’s wrist. It was only a bracelet, but they were both trying and failing to suppress grins.

When they left the bonfire circle later that evening, they walked away hand in hand.

Azreth glanced down at the bracelet on his own wrist.

* * *

The next morning, he looked around the camp until he found a set of woodworking tools to borrow, then took them to a wooded space away from the tents to begin working. He searched the woods until he found a suitable branch, then propped it against a stone as he shaved bits of it away.

He successfully hid the project from the rest of the camp until it was almost complete.

“What’s that?” asked someone behind him.

Azreth stiffened in surprise, but he recognized the voice. Jai’s brother, Madira, had managed to sneak up on him. According to Raiya, this was something night elves had a talent for, so he tried not to take it personally.

“It will be a bow,” Azreth said.

The night elf came around to his front, stepping into the dappled sunlight beneath the trees. He crossed his arms as he watched Azreth work. His green eyes were as bright as a demon’s. Raiya had told Azreth that some mortal scholars believed elves and demons had been made by the same gods, from the same mold. Azreth found the idea ridiculous.

“That’s way too small for you,” Madira scoffed.

Azreth didn’t reply.

“It’s for Raiya, isn’t it?”

He sighed a little. Mortals were too good at guessing things he didn’t want them to know. “Don’t tell her.”

“It’s a surprise?”

The word had negative connotations. It made it sound like something alarming and dangerous. But technically, it was true. He didn’t like to lie to her, even by omission, but he wanted to see the look on her face when he presented it to her. He hoped she would be pleased.

“How romantic,” Madira said dryly.

“Is it?” Azreth said without looking up.

“No. You’re just trying to make her like you.” When Azreth didn’t reply, he needled, “Do you think she’ll bed you if you give her this?”

Azreth was surprised that he hadn’t realized she was already bedding him. The question amused him. Madira amused him, generally. The boy pantomimed aggression all the time, but there was no real aggression in him.

“You should speak more,” Madira said.

“Why is that?”

“Because it’s strange when someone speaks to you and you don’t say anything back. If you really want to pass as a mortal, you should act like one.”

“Perhaps there is nothing important to say, or perhaps your question does not merit a response. Perhaps more mortals should be like me. Some of them talk a lot.”

Madira shot him a glare. He came closer, eyeing the decorative designs Azreth was carving into the bow’s limbs. “Why is everything so square? You should carve some flowers on it. Ardanian women like flowers.”

“Raiya is not Ardanian.”

“You know what I meant. Human women.”

Finally, Azreth paused. He wondered if the designs were ugly.

He liked the geometric shapes because he’d never seen them in nature. The straight lines and symmetrical angles could only be made by the hand of a living being, and he found that beautiful. But what did he know about art or beauty, really? Maybe she wouldn’t like it.

“Why are you doing this?” Madira asked, his eyes narrowed. “Are the two of you…?”

Azreth didn’t know exactly what he and Raiya were, but he knew that they weren’t a real couple like the ones he’d watched around camp. A mortal could not marry a demon. She would never call him her husband.

But he wanted her to look upon him fondly. He wanted to be the cause of her happiness.

He put himself at Madira’s mercy, because he had no other mortals to ask. He obviously couldn’t ask Raiya, and something told him that Jai would have a difficult time keeping a secret from her. “Would it be… wrong, for me to give her this?” Azreth asked. “Would she take offense?”

The elf gave him a long look. Then he rolled his eyes. “I suppose it doesn’t look that bad. And she will probably enjoy it either way. She acts as though everything you touch is gold.”

“She does?”

Madira just rolled his eyes again.

Something moved above them, and Azreth looked up. A large, black bird, larger than any other avian creature he’d yet seen in the mortal plane, flew silently above the trees. He tried to follow its path through the sky, but the branches obscured his view and he lost track of it.

He realized that the forest had grown quiet. There was no birdsong. Hairs rose on the back of his neck.

“What is it?” Madira asked.

Azreth waited another moment, listening, then shook his head. “Nothing.”