Page 12

Twelve

T he Roamer camp they encountered that evening was a nightmare.

Raiya explained that the Roamers were a clan of nomadic shepherds who lived in the northern parts of her country, Uulantaava. They lived in tents which they picked up and moved frequently, and they kept the same antlered creatures the Paladins had ridden—behelgi, Raiya called them. She said that running into the Roamers was fortuitous, because she could sell the Paladins’ behelgi to them, and Azreth supposed that he was glad to have found a place where the animals would be protected from predators, but if it had been up to him, he still would never have risked entering this camp.

He’d had no idea it was possible for so many people to gather in one spot. There were dozens of them. People banged on drums and made other loud, repetitive sounds with screeching instruments. Younger mortals screamed and laughed and cried and chased each other (Raiya told him they were playing). Others were cooking and eating, fighting each other with wooden swords (practicing, Raiya said), rolling tiny squares of bone across the ground (a game, apparently) or moving their bodies in synchronized patterns in time with the drums (dancing). Before he could make sense of what one person was doing, his attention would be drawn to another, and another.

It was more noise and movement than he could keep track of. He couldn’t possibly guard them from every sound in every direction. There was simply too much. As Raiya moved through the camp in front of him, his mind began to shut down. He fixed his eyes on her back, wishing he could turn off his senses.

Raiya was so completely relaxed that he supposed there truly must have been no danger, but he didn’t know how she could look so comfortable in a place so chaotic.

He felt oddly small and foolish as he followed her through the camp. He’d been feeling that way often, lately.

The Roamers brought them to a fire, then gave them food and water. A young, blue-skinned elf girl named Jai sat beside them and cheerfully asked them many questions, which Azreth dodged. He listened absently while she and Raiya talked for what seemed like a very long time, discussing unimportant things like their home cities or their favorite foods. Talking was a form of entertainment to mortals, he realized. They did it for fun.

While Raiya spoke, he watched her. The longer she talked with Jai, the more she smiled, as if the girl’s cheer was contagious.

He liked Raiya’s smile.

He’d never been able to study someone this way, up close. There had been people like Nariel whom he had formed partnerships with, but he had never stared at them like this, never noticed the crinkles around their eyes and mouths when they smiled. Raiya’s eyes squinted shut when she laughed hard enough, and when she grinned, he saw that her teeth were all flat; she had no fangs.He caught glimpses of her tongue. It was small and pink.

She grew happy and relaxed as they sat there, in the middle of this frenetic camp, talking to this stranger. When she wasn’t looking, he adjusted himself so he was sitting slightly closer, so he could bask in her peace. The emotion wasn’t quite strong enough to feed from, but it was pleasant, like bathing in a hot stream.

He had heard that mortals spent most of their lives in communities, forming close friendships and families, building societies and cities together. He saw now that what he’d heard was true. The fourth hell had cities, but not like this. Mortals were important to each other. Their relationships were important. He understood now why Raiya had suggested an equal partnership between them, because as he looked around, he didn’t see anyone giving orders, nor anyone being beaten or taken advantage of. They saw others as equals by default.

Raiya greeted strangers as if she’d known them from birth, as if she trusted them implicitly and was pleased to see them.Companionship and happiness seemed to come so easily to her. Yes, she was often sad, but joy was always close by, within reach.

He felt a vague unhappiness now as he looked at her, though it took him a while to realize it.

Eventually, the elf girl left, and Raiya turned to Azreth. It was incredible how quickly her smile faded once she looked at him.

He was not like the mortals. She didn’t feel a kinship with him the way she did with the others.

She looked him up and down, eyes narrow. “Are you all right?” she asked, but she wasn’t really inquiring about his health. She expected him to turn on her at any moment. To her, he was an unpredictable, dangerous beast. He was an interloper here. His presence disrupted their peace.

He resisted the urge to snap at her. He didn’t know what to say anyway, just that he felt like shouting at someone.

There was a man he’d been watching from across the camp. The man had only one leg. His trousers were rolled up on that side, pinned closed just below his hip, and he had no magical replacement limb like Azreth did. Several times now, Azreth had seen people bring him a plate or a cup or another item so that he didn’t have to get up to fetch it himself. Even now, someone was bringing him crutches and helping him to his feet, and he was trembling as he tried to find his balance. Even if he hadn’t been lame, he would have been frail and pitiful. Azreth scowled, nodding in his direction. “Why have they not just killed that one yet?”

Raiya raised her eyebrows. “Who?”

“The feeble one,” Azreth said, jerking his invisible horns toward the man again.

“Who would want to kill him?”

“Everyone,” he growled, impatient.

“I don’t understand.”

“ Look at him. He cannot fend for himself. He can hardly walk. He is a drain on the resources of the group. Why should they protect him? Why not leave him behind?”

She gave him an unimpressed look. “Do you actually want me to answer that, or is this really about something else? Because I don’t think you’re as stupid as you’re pretending to be.”

Azreth looked away from her, clenching his jaw. After a few moments, he found he was too frustrated to sit still, and he got up.

“I will return,” he said tersely, and he walked away from the fire.

He kept walking until he was at the edge of the camp, then turned to look back down the path through a colorful array of tents. In the twilight, a bonfire at the center of the camp glowed brilliantly, surrounded by carefree people. They were dancing, stumbling from the influence of the intoxicants they drank, while someone banged on drums incessantly.

It was all so hideously cheerful.

He imagined taking a sword and swinging it in a wide arc around the bonfire, cutting down five of them at once, mid-dance. He could cast a wave of fire that would set all their pretty tents aflame. He could tear into them one by one, in front of each other. They’d all fall to their knees, sobbing and keening as he drank their blood. He might not be able to have their happiness, but he could make their lives as terrible as his was. Mortals could build peaceful societies, but demons could break them.

He could turn all their joy to misery in an instant, and they didn’t even know it. They didn’t care. They danced on, blissfully unaware. He hated them.

“Well met, sair!” came a loud, high voice behind him.

He turned, startled. An elf child was peering up at him with interest, his tiny hand lifted in greeting. There was no one with him; he was wandering alone, without protection, as if he had nothing to fear. He was smiling broadly for no reason that Azreth could see—it was simply an inner joy that mortals were born with.But the smile quickly turned to a look of unease.

All Azreth’s violent energy drained. He felt tired.

He attempted to tame his glower into a kinder expression, but it didn’t quite work. The boy sensed his wrongness, even through the glamour, and Azreth felt a small but potent fear sprouting from him.The child spun and sprinted back toward the warm glow of the bonfire. Azreth watched him go.

A snort in the distance caught his attention, and he realized the Roamers’ herd of behelgi was grazing on the hill behind him. They’d been so quiet that he’d not noticed them. It was a stark contrast to the chaos of the camp.

Slowly, he sat down in the grass near them. A few paused to glance up at him with dark eyes, but then they went back to nibbling on the endless supply of grass.A few of them had lay down to doze. They were perfectly at ease.

He wished he could be more like them.