Page 35 of Hell of a Mess

Thirty-One

Lace

He was here. He’d come to see me. I was almost positive it was because Mal was worried that I hadn’t been eating.

But I didn’t care. He’d come. He cared. I wanted to wrap my arms around his neck and not let go.

There was a thrill at the sight of him and happiness that came from him sitting so close to me, looking at me, talking to me.

I listened quietly, soaking in the sound of his voice as he talked to Locke and Gathe about whatever game it was they were watching. It sounded as if there was heavy betting around it. When Mal announced that dinner was ready, the men all stood up, Gathe being the first one to shoot to his feet.

Luther glanced back down at me. “You coming?” he asked with a teasing glint in his eyes.

Standing, I nodded, sure I’d go anywhere he asked me to. However, he didn’t begin to move toward the door like the others had, and I waited with him. Once they all left, he turned his gaze back to mine.

“Now, see, if you hadn’t left me, you’d be eating and sleeping properly.” His tone was husky as he spoke in a low voice.

With the pad of his thumb, he brushed the area below my eyes. “Don’t like seeing these dark circles.”

I shivered from the touch, and he stilled. His eyes seemed to study me before drifting down to my mouth. For a moment, I thought…I thought he might kiss me. I held my breath, thinking if he did, I might possibly faint. God, I hoped not.

Then his hand was gone, and he nodded his head toward the door. “Better get in there before Mal comes storming back into the room, bitching.”

He motioned for me to go first, and I did, reluctantly. I wanted to stay in here alone with him. I’d missed him, and seeing him again was only going to make that ache worse when he left.

His words replayed in my head. “…if you hadn’t left me, you’d be eating and sleeping properly.”

And I stopped, then turned back to look at him. Did he think I wanted to leave him? If he did, then I had to clear that up.

“I…” Pausing, I tried to put the words together in my head so that they made sense.

That he would understand without me sounding like a whiny baby who had run off because he had been gone too long.

“I left because I thought I was a burden. When you didn’t come home, I was afraid it was because I was there. ”

He said nothing. With his silence, I began to worry that I’d been right. He had only been teasing me earlier.

“It’s gonna get cold,” Mal’s voice called out.

Luther lifted his eyes from me to look over my head toward Mal.

“Yeah,” he replied, then placed a hand on my back and turned me around before leading me to the dining room.

When Mal was satisfied we were coming, he stepped back inside.

Luther leaned down close to my ear. “You were never a burden, and my absence wasn’t because you were in my guest bedroom,” he said in a gruff whisper.

Then he straightened and followed me into the dining room.

After countless nights of sleeping on a concrete floor, cold and in the dark, missing my mother, I’d grown numb—or it had become my reality. What I was accustomed to and expected.

Then the day came that my father needed me to be Dalia.

Make appearances at galas, business dinners, and other events.

He hadn’t moved me back to the bedroom I’d had when my mother was alive though.

I was placed in the bedroom that had been created out of a walk-in closet for Dalia’s nurse.

She and I shared the small space. He’d had a twin mattress moved in there, but not a frame.

Two twins wouldn’t have left room for anyone to walk.

Every morning, I had to fold up my bedding and stand the mattress on its side and lean it against the wall.

Sorrow had faded for me somewhere along the way.

I would always miss my mother, but I had come to accept my lot in life.

I woke up daily and went through the motions.

After Ms. Lune’s second stroke, she lost her speech ability and some of her mobility as well and was no longer able to remain in her position.

Alpheus had decided that I’d be Dalia’s daily caretaker unless I was needed to perform as Dalia at some event for him.

The less people who knew the truth about Dalia, the better for him.

Tonight, as I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, replaying every moment with Luther in my head, the heaviness on my chest reminded me that I could still feel sorrow and loss.

I could miss someone so desperately that it ached all over.

Watching Luther leave tonight had been physically painful.

All during dinner, he’d sat beside me, kept me in the conversation, smiled at me, and praised me when I ate something.

But with his absence came the darkness.

A glow lit up my room, and I glanced around, confused as to where it was coming from.

Then the vibrating sound against the nightstand drew my attention, and I saw my cell phone, which I never used, was the one causing both the light and the noise.

It had been left there, plugged into the charger since I’d arrived here.

Sitting up in bed, I reached for it, thinking perhaps it was Mal telling me good night or checking on me.

However, the sight of Luther’s name on the screen sent off a burst of joy through me.

I unlocked my phone, almost frantic to see his words. Anything to connect me to him.

Luther: You awake?

Me: Yes.

I sent my response, then gripped the phone so tightly that it was as if I was afraid it was going to disappear and take this away from me.

Luther: Bad dreams?

Balancing the phone on my cast, I typed out my response.

Me: Not yet.

I hated closing my eyes, for fear they would come. Luther was right. I did have dark circles under my eyes.

Luther: If you were here, I’d make sure they stayed away, although my willpower was never something to brag about before, and the little I managed with you is slipping.

I reread that several times. What did he mean by it?

Me: I wish I were there.

Might as well stick with honesty.

Luther: You sure about that?

More than he could ever know.

Me: Yes. I’ve wished I were there since I left.

I bit down on my bottom lip before hitting Send. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that.

Luther’s text didn’t light up the screen next; his call did.

My heart jumped up into my throat as I hit Answer, then placed the phone to my ear.

“Hello?” I said, hearing the uncertainty in my voice.

Had he meant to call me? I hoped it wasn’t an accident.

“That’s better,” he replied. The deep timbre in his voice gave me goose bumps, and I smiled so hard that my cheeks hurt. “I hate texting shit. Much rather hear your voice.”

“Yes, this is, um, better,” I admitted.

His chuckle at my response made me shiver. God, I really loved his laugh.

“If I’d known you were going to leave me, I’d have left a fucking note, telling you I had business to handle,” he said. “Didn’t like leaving you there tonight.”

I’d have given anything if I could have gone with him.

But if I’d told Mal I wanted to go back, he’d think I was unhappy here…

which I was, but not because of anything he’d done.

He was the perfect dad. I had never experienced someone trying so hard to make me happy. I couldn’t hurt his feelings and leave.

“I…I wish I could have gone with you,” I said just above a whisper, as if someone could hear me.

Luther groaned. “Damn, sugar, you sure know how to make it hard on a man.”

I did? Was that a good thing? I hated being so naive about men and what they meant or liked or…anything.

“You’re too damn sweet for me,” he sighed heavily.

“No, I’m not,” I assured him.

I wasn’t sweet. I had bad thoughts. I was just very sheltered when it came to men. It was embarrassing, considering my age, but my life hadn’t been anywhere close to normal.

Another low rumble came over the line. “Yeah, you are. I’m depraved, sweetheart. I don’t follow rules. I cross any line drawn in front of me. Mal is right to want you distanced from me.”

No, no, no, please don’t say that. I didn’t want to be distanced from him. I’d thought this conversation was going in another way. I didn’t like this path.

“I don’t like being distanced from you, and you can’t be depraved. Not the man who found me, brought me to his house, got me medical attention, held me at night when I had nightmares…is helping me with my aversion to food.”

“Trust me, you’ve only seen the good. Well…except when you didn’t cover up your tits and I ended up emptying my load all over them.”

I sucked in a breath, and my nipples went instantly hard. The tingle between my legs that his voice alone always stirred burned hotter, and I squirmed.

“See, you’re so damn innocent that talking about it silences you.”

“No,” I blurted out, hating that he was finding more reasons to stay away from me.

“It’s not that. I just—it, uh…” Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath.

I could say this. I was being silly. He didn’t want innocent and silly.

“I liked hearing it. My body did; it made things tingle.” Oh God.

I’d just said tingle. I didn’t even know any sexy words to use.

“Don’t stop there,” he said in a husky tone. “Tell me what’s tingling.”

I licked my lips nervously. I could do this. I was an adult.

“Between my legs, my breasts…” I stopped there, waiting to see if that was what he’d been asking for.

“Fuck,” he let out a low groan. “Are you in bed?”

“Yes.” I sounded breathless.

“Are you wearing that little purple satin thing that barely covers your tits?”

I looked down at the lavender pajama set. It was the only thing I had to sleep in, but I hadn’t needed anything more. “Yes.”

“Mmm,” he hummed. “Take it off for me, sweetheart. Panties too. Let me know when you’re naked and on top of the sheets.”

I knew what this was. I’d read about it in a book. We were going to have phone sex. The tingle became a full-blown sizzle.

“Okay,” I replied, then laid the phone down so that I could stand up.

I’d gotten good with using my cast when getting dressed and undressed, but it still took me more time than normal.

However, right now, I wanted to move as quickly as possible.

I didn’t want him to change his mind. The buttons on the top were the most challenging, but I got most of them undone, then just pulled it over my head.

Once I was completely undressed, I climbed back onto the bed and picked up the phone. “I’m finished.”

“Good girl,” he praised me, and I had to press my legs together. “Panties too?”

“Yes.”

“So fucking obedient,” he murmured. “Now, lie on your back and open your pretty thighs for me.”

The cool air felt strange as I did as he’d asked. I had never been in this position before while naked.

“Okay.”

“Fuck, I wish I could see that. I want to get my mouth on your sweet little pussy so bad.”

A small moan escaped me, and I slid my good hand between my legs, needing relief from the build his words had caused.

“You gonna let me taste it? Lick it until you’re pulling my hair, screaming my name, and coming all over my tongue? I’ll lap it up like it’s my favorite treat.”

“Oh God.” My body buckled.

“Are you playing with that needy cunt?” he asked, his breath quickening.

Then I heard a sound over the line that I remembered from before. His hand as he pumped his erection. I moaned loudly this time, thinking about how he’d looked as he did it. How his abs flexed. He was beautiful.

“Tell me, baby, are you finger-fucking that pussy?”

“Yes,” I breathed.

“Good girl. Such a fucking good girl.” He growled the words. “If you were here, I’d fuck that hot little hole with something else.”

The image of Luther over me, pushing his long, rigid penis inside me, sent me off. I cried out his name as my climax washed over me.

“Is that what you want?” His voice sounded almost animalistic. “You want my cock inside your tight cunt?”

“Yesss. God, yes.”

“FU—AH—GAH!” he roared.

I listened as he grunted, gasping, knowing exactly what he looked like when he got off. My already-sated body was stirring back to life again.

I listened to his heavy breathing as I rubbed my thighs together.

“That would have been better, shot all over your open thighs,” he said with an amused chuckle.

That was an image I was going to go to sleep with tonight. Maybe then I could keep the demons away.

“Probably shouldn’t have done that,” he drawled, instantly deflating me. “But I don’t give a damn. I’m not a good man, and I’m not gonna try to be. Especially not when the temptation is so fucking sweet.”