Page 46

46

Calista

W e have been sitting in this waiting room for over an hour, but Ronan has been in critical care for more than that.

They air lifted him to UCH in Denver.

Amy said Ken couldn’t feel a pulse, but he’s not a doctor. When the paramedics arrived, Ronan’s pulse was faint—nearly unreadable. He didn’t look alive, but they said his heart was still beating, just barely. I think that’s why I’m still alive, because I have no doubt that Amy’s threat will hold if he doesn’t make it.

Ken filled me in on what happened. He had connected the dots with Samantha, the sister of the man Ronan killed in the bar fight. Something about my silence tipped them off, and they figured it was better to assume the worst, than do nothing and regret it.

They had a friend, Glen, check on my parents’ place. I don’t know exactly what he saw or heard, but it prompted him to call the police. Ten minutes later, they arrived, and the place was surrounded. My mom and Gene were pulled out and taken to another hospital. Ken and the boys headed straight for the cabin, but not directly to ours. Ronan had warned them that if a gunfight broke out, the boys could get caught in the crossfire. When they heard the first shots, they called the police. They then ran into the house and dragged Ronan out just before the fire consumed the entire living room.

I can’t quite wrap my mind around the timing of it all, but when Samantha realized the cops were coming, she bailed. That’s when Ken and the boys went inside and found Ronan, already bleeding out.

Three people died tonight—the driver who took me, one of the men who fought Ronan, and the guy I shot when he came through the door. I took two lives, and I don’t feel a thing for them. But if that number grows, and I lose the man I love, I’ll be adding myself to the count.

“Cal?” A voice calling for me has me taking a deep breath and looking around. Kneeling right in front of me is Eamon, his hands on my shaking legs. “Can you hear me?”

I swallow and absentmindedly nod my head. He was the only person I called, and he answered on the first ring… It’s like he knew something was wrong.

He arrived in fifteen minutes, and they immediately let him into the room, as he is technically Ronan’s only blood family.

“He’s out of surgery and on life support right now.” He moves his hand up to my cheek, catching my tears. “I’ve told them you’re family, and I’ve convinced them to let you see him.”

After he helps me shakily to my feet, I glance at Ken and the others, all looking just as battered as I feel. Exhaustion, worry... This is the family Ronan always deserved. To have them here, for him, when he needed them most. He can’t die now, not after finally having this. He just can’t.

Eamon leads me down the white-on-white hallway until we reach a room. As we approach, a doctor steps out while a nurse walks in. We follow right behind, and my nerves spike as I catch sight of feet under a blanket at the edge of the bed.

I come to an abrupt halt, and I feel my stepdad’s arm wrap around my shoulders.

“Everything is covered, you’ll only see his face.”

My shaky hand comes to his shirt as I lean against him. “I did this to him, Eamon… I shouldn’t be here…” The moment I’m regretting not just running from Amy and disappearing, he pulls me into a hug.

“I don’t know what happened, and right now, I don’t care.” When he takes an unstable breath, I choke back a sob. It’s now that I realize he’s chosen to be here with Ronan, not with my mom. It’s the right choice, the one he should’ve always made for his brother.

I, too, should’ve chosen to be better for him.

I should’ve told him the truth and trusted him.

“All I care about is him, and I know you do, too. He deserves that; for people to care.” He pulls me back and I look up at his tear-stricken face. “Seeing you and his… family out there, it’s what he should’ve had all along.” When he pauses briefly, he releases a heavy sigh. “Don’t run like I did, Cal.”

He’s right, and I’m a coward for even thinking I shouldn’t be here. “Thank you, Eamon.”

I turn to watch as the nurse gives us a half smile. “He’s breathing on his own, but we’ve got him on dialysis.” His gaze now directs to me as he continues, “He’s got several tubes in him. Please be mindful of where you put your hands.”

When I nod, he steps aside, and I walk further into the room. The curtain that had kept me from seeing anything but his blanket-covered feet is no longer a barrier, allowing me to take in his stoic face.

This man, who has shown me what true happiness feels like and lifted a weight I didn’t know existed, now looks at peace for the first time since the moment I met him.

I haven’t had enough time with you… Please, wake up… Please…

I move to his side and gently lift the blanket to find his hand. Taking it softly, I lace our fingers together and hold both hands with my free one.

The beeping sound of the machines accompanies the soft blowing of air from the vents, and my own pulse in my ear. I suddenly feel something against the back of my legs, and when I turn, Eamon is pushing a chair up behind me.

I take it and just continue to stare at the man I love with every fiber of my being.

Moving one of my hands up, I draw my fingers against his cheek. “I’m sorry… I tried to protect her when I truly should’ve been doing that to you. Once again, someone made the wrong choice for you.”

Carefully, I lift his hand up and kiss his tattoo-covered knuckles. “I love you, Ronan. I should’ve shown it better…”

Time passes, and as tired as I am, I haven’t so much as blinked for longer than a few seconds. The doctors and nurses have come in to check on him, with no updates other than there isn’t any negative or positive changes. I’ll take that over the former of the two.

Eamon is asleep, and like myself, hasn’t left the room. I want to think it’s been a full day because of how much my stomach is screaming at me to eat something, but it equally could have only been hours.

When the door opens, I look up to see a nurse, accompanied by a police officer walking beside him. He looks at Eamon, who hasn’t budged even on their entry, then back to me.

“Are you Ms. Sanderson?”

I nod and hold onto Ronan’s hand tighter. Please don’t take me right now… It’s what I want to say, because I can’t leave his side. I need to be here with him every second, no matter what the outcome of his health is, whether he wakes up or his heart stops, I can’t leave.

“We just want to ask a few questions, that’s all.”

I nod.

“You had security cameras on your property, do you have access to the digital files?”

I nod again. “Kenneth Asuna, who may still be out in the waiting room, has access.”

Even though I created the account, I can’t think straight and know for a fact I’d not be able to give them the right details. I’ve got nothing to hide, and I have no doubt that Ken has taken care of anything that may implicate Ronan in any way. Me, on the other hand, probably not, but that’s alright. I deserve whatever justice is served to me at the end of my story.

He writes something down and then looks back up at me. “Can you give me an accounting of what happened over the past forty-eight hours?”

I take a deep breath. “My mom called me Wednesday evening and asked me to come over. I did, and the family that has been blackmailing me since May were there. They kidnapped my best friend, Genevieve Snowden, and my mom, Jasmine Byrne. The following day they took me back to my cabin with specific instructions to kill Ronan. They gave me a syringe of something and told me to inject it or they were going to kill Gene, my mom, and then him”—I lean forward, holding his hand to my chest—“and then me.”

“Why didn’t you call the police?” he stops me to ask.

“When? When they had me gagged and tied at my mother’s house? Or when they had me at gunpoint in the car on the way back to the cabin? Or when I was trying to convince Ronan to run?” My tone is patronizing, because what a stupid fucking question.

He only nods and writes something down before continuing, “Do you know why they were after Mr. Byrne?”

“Ronan killed the woman’s brother, but he was convicted and already did his time.”

“I see.”

“Have you arrested Samantha Serrano?”

“I can’t disclose that—”

“I’m terrified for my life. Is she in custody?” I press, not out of fear of her, but out of the need to know that the woman who put Ronan in this state isn’t out there, walking free. She deserves to be locked away, rotting in a cell.

He sighs, closes his notebook and places his hands together in front of him. “We have her, along with her husband, in custody.” His eyes shift away from me to Ronan, but I keep my gaze locked on him. He then looks slowly back to me. “I’ll leave you two alone, please note that we will be seeing you again for more questioning.”

It's then I feel slight pressure on my hand.

My heart skips and I jerk my head to the side to see bright blue eyes staring right at me.

The world around me blurs, leaving only him to fill my thoughts. His head rests back against the pillow, and I hate that he doesn’t smile at me. I can’t read his expression—whether it’s one of hate or just of pain. Either way, I’m just so happy his eyes are open, and he's alive…

Ronan

I’m alive and, man, do I feel fucking fantastic.

Whatever drugs I’m on right now make me feel a little bit loopy. I don’t like that in this moment because I need to be mad at Calista, but all I can imagine is sucking on her tongue that’s now wetting her dried lips.

I’m having a hard time feeling my own or I’d likely be smiling. I’m happy she’s alive, but the thought of spanking a rainbow across her ass nearly has me laughing.

No, damn it, no. I need to be firm.

Even if she is so fucking cute, all nervous and shit.

“Ronan?” I do love the way she says my name. “Oh—I-I’m…” She chokes on a sob, her bottom lip trembling as she leans in toward me. My hand that she’s holding presses under her chin. “I’m so sorry. I never wanted any of this to happen.”

Oh, I know, baby girl.

I should say something, really, but seeing her fear consume her is helping slightly. To see that she feels bad solidifies that she never meant for this to occur the way it did.

As she swallows, she briefly looks over at Eamon, who is still passed out on the single-seater couch. I don’t turn my head, just flick my eyes to him, and then back to my girl who’s beginning to shake.

“You know,” I finally say and immediately I have to clear my throat. The taste of something bitter on my tongue stings as it goes straight down my throat. “They say you see the light when you are about to die. Bullshit.”

Her look of mortification has me chuckling. “There were doors, no lights. Every single time I’d go for one, you stepped in front of it.” She stands, the chair she was sitting on scooting back. “Tried to kill me, kept me from dying—such a complicated woman.”

“T-That’s not funny!” she whisper-shouts through her heaving.

I can’t help but laugh. “But it is.” I squeeze her hand in mine, and she leans over, slowly drawing the back of her fingers along my cheek. “When I’m capable, I’m punishing you.”

She tries to keep herself from laughing, but it bubbles out of her swollen lips.

These drugs, she should be grateful for them. I’d be ruthless with my words right now but I’m certain I just saw a rabbit or something jump from the foot of my bed.

The moment I try to move my other hand, cords pull me back and I groan.

She leans over me and puts her cheek onto my chest, releasing my hand in the process. I’m able to move that one at least and wrap it around her, pulling her tight into a hug.

“I love you, Ronan. Please forgive me…”

I let out a soft huff. “That better not be a sympathy ‘I love you’.” I know it isn’t. She’s been in love with me for a while, but no longer than I’ve been with her. I just didn’t realize the feeling to classify it as that, but there is no mistaking what it was.

While we have a lot to talk about, I choose our hard to battle through.

“No.” She shakes her head, then gently cups my face in her hands. Her tears fall onto my cheeks as she leans in and kisses me quickly. She does it again, and again, before wrapping her arms around my neck, holding me tightly.

“I love you too, baby girl.”

The haze in my brain makes me feel weightless, and when I close my eyes, all I want is for us to be pulled back into our bed at the cabin. That thought keeps my eyes shut—seeing the deer in the early morning and setting off on my bike with her arms wrapped around my torso. A picture of us riding up the mountainside, watching the sun rise as we cruise down the open road.

Freedom can finally be mine.

And for the first time in what feels like my entire life, I feel deserving of it.

For love, happiness, and a quiet life.

I hope to have that with Cal.