Page 13 of Hearts of Fairlake (Men of Fairlake #8)

LUKE

Hazy warmth wrapped around my thoughts, and as I took a moment to consider that, I realized I was also pressed tightly against heat. My entire front was covered in a pleasant warmth that threatened to hold me in one place. Dimly, I realized it wasn't because the heat source was heavy, but in the metaphoric sense, it weighed more than anything I could hope to lift. Mostly because I didn't want to disturb the source of the weight and heat because that felt like some sort of cosmic crime I wasn't ready to commit yet.

Which also told me I was more than awake enough to know the source of my 'problem' was, in fact, my husband. My husband of around eight months, as a matter of fact, a thought that still sent a flutter through my chest whenever I thought about it. Of course, I didn't really think there was a case to be made about doing it 'too' much when the reality of my situation made me happier than I ever thought I'd be.

Of course, I hadn't thought I would ever be with another man, so I guess luck, fate, the universe, God, or whoever was in charge liked to throw wrenches in not just plans but the expectations of life. I mean, hell, I’d never once glanced at a man that way, and having a celebrity as a boss and best friend, one who wasn't exactly private about his sexual appetite, had given me plenty of opportunities to explore even the slightest whisper of a new aspect of my sexuality.

Seriously, there are a lot of guys out there ready and willing to drag a star's personal assistant into the mix, especially when they found out I was straight. I never did understand the appeal of trying to 'turn' a straight guy because ninety-nine percent of the time, it was going to end in embarrassing failure.

No, it wasn't until I met Felix, staring down into his big green eyes, his mouth set in an angry thin line, nose and cheeks turning red from frustration, that I felt the first stirrings of desire for another man. He was the only man who could lay claim to 'turning' me, and the fact was, he hadn't tried. He’d been nothing but respectful and polite when he found out he should have technically never had a chance with me due to my sexuality.

It hadn't stopped the little bugger from warming up to the idea when he realized I was actually into it. Though his words probably helped. “You were and still are hot as fuck, and your dick is amazing." Honestly, he could be great with words and sound intelligent and poetic, but I had to give him some benefit of the doubt. I’d been teasing him that day, and his thinking power was...stunted by lack of blood flow to the right areas of the body.

Now, my thoughts were coming back conscious and coherent, and I was becoming more aware of how my body's blood flow had shifted. Not that it was a sign of being horny. Being hard in the morning had been the norm since puberty. The difference between morning wood and now, however, was that I had caught myself thinking about my husband, how sexy he was, and how much of a horn dog he could be...and look good doing it, then being aware of my arousal .

I opened my eyes to find Felix had pushed himself back into me in his sleep. Either that or I had grabbed him and yanked him toward me, both of which were distinct possibilities. For all his complaining that I could overheat him with my 'furnace' body, he was just as bad when he was dead asleep and inevitably sought me out while he snored 'softly.'

Which, while sweet and endearing, usually meant he would slot himself against me in the way that made the most sense and coincidentally involved his ass shoved against my crotch. I could handle it if I were in a normal state of mind, even with the amazing ass he possessed. With the whole 'Wow, I think a guy's ass is sexy?' question long since settled, I found myself in a state where the presence of said ass was incredibly distracting.

That, of course, could easily be laid at the feet of another person in our house, a ten-year-old person at that. It wasn't Gray's fault, of course. He was on the other side of the house and wasn't prone to walking into private rooms. No, it came down to the fact that Felix was still skittish having him around, and while he was worried about what Gray might think if he accidentally overheard something, his nerves also had the effect of killing his sex drive.

Gray's presence and the nerves leading up to his arrival meant it had been almost two weeks since we'd done anything together. Sure, it was normal to go a while without sexual contact, but that didn't mean there weren't side effects. In this case, the fact that my husband was wearing thin-as-hell shorts and pressing his ass against my dick so it nestled between both cheeks. If he’d been awake, I would have called him a tease and not felt the slightest bit guilty over speaking the truth.

He wasn't awake, though. I could tell by the evenness of his breath and the way he wasn't responding when I pushed my dick against his ass. He might be vaguely aware of what was going on, as Felix had never mastered the art of being blissfully unaware while asleep. That was probably due to his childhood and how he’d lived afterward, instilling a constant sense of wariness and concern that made him aware of his environment at all times.

Which meant I could cup his groin as I ground against him without feeling like I was committing a crime. Well, and the fact that this wouldn't be the first time one of us had groped the other while sleeping. Ironically, that was exactly how things had started between us. Admittedly, he’d been asleep at the time he'd groped me, and I'd just been the first to wake up, but at least I couldn't say it was unusual for us.

He was only half hard, but his body quickly responded to my touch through the thin fabric, and I felt him stiffen. Wondering how much I could get away with, I sought the waistband of his shorts and tugged so I could have easier access. With a soft sigh, he wiggled, and I managed to hook my fingers into the band, pull them down to the top of his thighs, and leave him exposed.

Now extremely curious as to what I could get away with before he woke up completely, I wrapped my hand around his shaft and began gently stroking. I wasn't disappointed when he gently pushed up into my hand, which resulted in his ass pushing back against my groin. Faint but tantalizing tingles of pleasure rippled up from my cock as I stroked him, feeling the way he grew harder and harder.

Still willing to push my luck, I reached up with my other hand and wet a digit with my mouth before reaching down between us. It didn't take long before I found his hole and pushed forward, feeling a moment of resistance before his sleep-relaxed body let me in. Warmth encased my finger as I stroked him, leaving my dick to wait its hopeful turn.

A soft noise slipped from him as my finger slid all the way in, and I curled it to find the spot that made his sleeping body twitch in response. Grinning, I shifted my finger back and forth, only letting go of his dick long enough to reach behind me and locate the bedside table. The lube wasn't hard to find, and I paused long enough to wet my fingers properly before sliding another into him.

It was when the second finger entered him that I felt him tense for a moment, his body going wire tight before easing after a few heartbeats. Bleary-eyed and slightly confused, he turned his head to peer up at me, brow furrowed. Since there was no complaint, I pushed the second finger farther inside, making him grunt and then shiver as I resumed stroking him.

"What..." he began, then moaned softly as both fingers successfully spread him open. "?—"

"You may not know it, but you started this," I teased as I spread my fingers and made him grunt in response.

"Gray," he tried again, but his face screwed up as I began moving my fingers and the hand around his cock, in tandem.

"Is on the other side of the house," I told him, still keeping my motions up and feeling him growing to enjoy every minute. "And if we're quiet, I can finally fuck you like we've both wanted for a while now. And trust me, I know you've wanted it."

"Fuck," he breathed, almost panting. "You never talk like this unless you're really worked up."

"You're the one who said I'm at my worst when I first wake up."

"I don't know if worst is the word I’d have used."

"What word then?"

"Fucking…" He gasped as I pushed a third lubed finger into him. "God...horny, dominating, aggressive...sexy."

"Good words," I said, spurred on by his enthusiasm and pushing my fingers deep and hard enough to push his hips forward. I didn't like to get quite as rough as he liked sometimes, but mostly because I didn't want to bring him back to the point in his life that was better not re-enacted. That didn't mean I wasn't willing to push my limits a little and enjoy the pitiful groan he gave as I forced him open faster than usual.

"God, how long have you been up?" he groaned as I moved my fingers back and forth.

"Long enough to miss this," I told him, sliding over so he could feel my weight, something he loved to feel in the moment. "And to prove we can do this, even with a kid around."

"Fuck...me," he said, and I couldn't tell if that was an invitation or just a show of pleasure, but I knew which one I was going to accept it as.

"Can do," I grunted, pulling my fingers free. "Just need to lube up."

"Let me help," he said, immediately flopping over and pushing me so I was forced onto my back.

I grunted in mild surprise until his lips wrapped around the head of my cock, and the pleasure rolled through me hard enough that my eyelids fluttered. I normally wasn't that sensitive to a blowjob, even from Felix, but it had been too long since I'd felt his mouth on me, and I hadn't touched myself either. All that pent-up need had come rushing back, and I had to bite back a moan as he sank lower, taking me into his throat.

Which wasn't helped in the slightest when he decided to reach behind him where I could clearly see him shove his fingers into himself, trying to keep his body relaxed and ready for me. And even worse was when he moaned as I slipped into his throat so far that his nose pressed against the trimmed hairs of my pubes. It took a great deal of willpower not to blow right there but to withhold my moan as I felt his throat muscles flex around my sensitive dick .

"Okay," I gasped out. "You win. If you don't stop, I'm going to come right now, and then where will we be?"

He pulled off my dick with a noisy pop and smirked. “With your load down my throat, which wouldn't be the first or the last time."

"You're killing me," I complained, knowing he could feel the way my dick pulsed in his hand as he wrapped his fingers around it.

"Says the man who woke me up by finger fucking me," he said in a low voice I wasn't used to hearing. Then again, we’d grown used to expressing ourselves as freely as we wanted and now had to restrain ourselves. Though if this was the voice he was going to use, all low and hushed but full of pleasure and need, I wasn't going to complain about having to restrain ourselves.

"I woke up to you grinding your ass against my dick," I pointed out as he continued to stroke me slowly, clearly meant to excite and drive me crazy...which was working.

"Yeah, because this big thing," he said, still stroking me and staring into my eyes. "Doesn't exactly struggle to find a place to grind against."

"That makes no sense, and while I normally don't give in to big dick compliments, I’ll make the exception for you."

"How kind."

"I have my moments."

"What if I said your dick is so big it fills me in ways I've never felt before? Or that it isn't just about the fact that it's big and yours, which makes the feeling all that greater, but that you know how to use the thing in ways that make my eyes roll and forget my name?"

"Jesus fucking Christ."

"So...better?"

"Fuck yes."

"Good," he practically purred before sliding over to mount me. "So why don't you enjoy the first part of the show?"

"The first…" I began and watched as he turned around, showing me his back before leaning forward and gripping the base of my dick and aiming it. I sucked in a breath as I realized he was giving me the full show of my dick entering him, and only had a moment to brace myself before he leaned back. My attention locked onto it all, watching as the thickness of my head seemed to strain to enter him and then the simultaneous pleasure of watching as it disappeared inside with what felt like an audible snap…and the sensation. "Oh hell..."

"God," he groaned, but if there was pain, it didn't stop him from easing his way back even further, and I watched as my dick was swallowed up. I could never decide which was more enticing, the sensation or the sight...which the little bastard knew. "How did I forget how big and good you felt?"

Okay, the praise, genuinely meant, was not helping me keep control as he sank lower. On my end, I had nearly forgotten how good it felt to feel his intense heat and grip around me. It probably wasn't best to compare it to a furnace, but the sheer intensity of the heat and the grip always drove me crazy, especially as I could watch more and more of myself disappear. I'd had a few partners who, understandably, couldn't or wouldn't take all of me, but Felix always seemed so...greedy for it, and the sheer force of his desire for me still took me by surprise.

"Fuck yes ," he groaned as his ass pressed against my hips, taking every last thick inch of me and gripping my thighs as if bracing himself for every sensation running through him.

"Don't...move," I told him through gritted teeth.

He glanced over his shoulder, eyes wide with surprise. “Are you really that close?"

"It's been...two weeks. "

"I mean...haven't you..."

"Jerked off? No. I wanted to save it for you."

A complicated flurry of emotions crossed his face as he peered over his shoulder at me. "You waited for me?"

"Yes," I said, managing a deep breath that took the worst of my surging desire away as I clung to control.

"That's...ridiculously sweet," he said and then grinned. "But right now, all I can think is that's going to be one hell of a load you're going to leave inside me when this is over."

It was probably his intent to snap the thread of my control with that comment, or maybe he was just trying to stick to the horny mood rather than go sentimental. Whatever his motivations, I still felt my hold on myself fray drastically as I surged forward. He let out a yelp of surprise as I shoved him onto the bed face first and then groaned when my dick, which had slipped halfway out, thrust back into him all the way to the hilt.

"Fuck, you drive me crazy sometimes," I snarled, looking down as I slid back to snap my hips forward and test to see if he was really ready for what had been coaxed.

"Oh, hello ," he said, almost in surprise, and that was all I needed.

It wasn't our norm, but I’d seen the clock before I started groping him. We still had almost half an hour before Gray woke up and risked hearing anything. With that in mind, I began pounding him, hearing the sound of our skin meeting and the muffled groans as he pressed his face into the comforter. The grip around my cock loosened, so it wasn't a death grip, but it was more than enough to send me into a frenzy as I began to slam into him.

The whole bed rocked as I, admittedly selfishly, took what I wanted right there and then. If he considered it a problem, he didn't show it in the slightest as his fingers found the edge of the bed and held on with white knuckles as I pummeled him. If I didn't know it would take a lot more force than I was using, I might have thought I’d leave bruises on his ass by the time we were done. I didn't know what it said about me that the idea was thrilling, but I also knew there were no complaints coming out of Felix when moments like this happened.

"C'mon," he groaned, freeing his mouth from the comforter long enough to egg me on. "I can feel it. You want to come in me...do it."

That was all I needed to hear, and the sheer instinct of the moment took over. With a growl, I shoved as deep as possible as I felt the first spurt of my orgasm. My head snapped forward to bear down between his shoulder blades as I came as deep inside him as we both wanted. My body didn't know or care that I was with a man who couldn't get pregnant. What it wanted was to make sure I was as deep as possible right now, and I could only groan faintly as I did as it bid.

Yet I was still aware of my duties and his needs. Even as my cock was still leaking into him, I gripped him around the waist and yanked him up, earning a surprised yelp as I flopped onto my back and pinned him to my front. Still hard, I shoved my sensitive cock back into him as I gripped his dick and began stroking. He writhed atop me for a moment before going rigid.

His orgasm came with a muted yelp as he tensed, and I felt his dick pulse in my palm. Part of me regretted the 'waste' of his cum spraying on his stomach and chest but still reveled in the feel of its warmth as it puddled against my hand before I finally let my dick slip from inside him, letting both of us have the next few minutes to get ourselves together and begin using our thinking brains once more.

Which was easier said than done.

“Alright,” he managed to gasp as he lay there catching his breath desperately. “I think…we can safely say this is doable with kids around.”

“I told you that two days ago,” I said with a chuckle. “But you were too worried about…everything.”

“I had a lot on my mind,” he protested.

“And now?”

“Not so much on my mind…so that’s good.”

“I’m glad I could be of service,” I chuckled, rubbing his calf affectionately. “So, who’s going to handle breakfast?”

“I’d like to think our collaborative efforts are absolutely on point, so…both?”

“Both it is, then.”

“After…I remember how to walk.”

There was no point in denying the warmth that blossomed in my chest at his words, and I continued to stroke his leg affectionately. For someone who always fretted about what was going to come out of his mouth, he was good at finding the right things to say. Of course, that always seemed to happen when he wasn’t thinking too hard about it. If we could just get him to stop second-guessing everything he was going to say, he’d have less to worry about. It was a paradox neither of us had been able to solve, but at the very least, I could say I was special enough to be on the receiving end of it when we were alone.

My ego was even more pleased when it took him another ten minutes before he was confident about leaving the bed to get up and dressed. It had the added benefit of making sure neither of us was red in the face or sweaty. I was less concerned about Gray knowing what was happening privately than Felix, but I also agreed we didn’t need to broadcast those things.

“Good game,” I teased, slapping his butt as we left the bedroom. It was just hard enough that I knew it sent a jolt of pain through him, especially when he gave me a dirty look .

“Yes, sports ball, good game, ass,” he muttered but ribbed me gently as we walked down the hallway. The move from Fovel to Fairlake had come easily for us, me more than him. It still amused me at times that for someone who’d spent so much of his life hopping all over the place and going with the current, he was notoriously difficult when it came to change.

That, I had come to learn, had been a product of needing stability, but, having resigned himself to that not happening, he’d given up and protected himself by forcing himself to ‘accept’ whatever happened. Now that he was in one place, with the same people, in a stable relationship, that need for stability had come back from the depths with a rabidness that was impressive and a little...furious at times.

The key was to give him as much warning as possible before something significant came his way. Then, it was just a matter of letting him work through it. Sometimes, that just meant talking about it whenever it popped into his head, but usually, it meant letting him let loose with the flurry of emotions racing through his head in a safe place and without making him feel like he was being ridiculous. After that, it just came down to letting whatever internal process in his subconscious work things out until he was ready to move forward.

It wasn’t my preferred style of dealing with things, but I wasn’t him. So sure, he could be a little dramatic and…passionate, but despite what he thought, I liked those things about him most of the time. My family was pretty emotional, save for my mother and myself, so having a husband like that was familiar and comforting. Plus, sometimes, when he was ranting and raving, he looked adorable as hell, but telling him that was a quick way to find myself in deep trouble, so I kept that opinion to myself.

We stopped in the doorway leading into the kitchen and dining area when we found Gray sitting at the table. He was already dressed and ready for the day, which was the norm when we woke up, but it was still earlier than usual. Then, I noticed the doorway to the small closet next to the kitchen cabinets was open a crack. Curious, I saw that the broom and dustpan were not where I’d left them the night before.

“Gray,” I began, turning to face him. “How long have you been awake?”

He shrugged. “A little while.”

Felix took note from me and peered into the sink. “Long enough to empty the sink of dishes.”

“And sweep,” I said, closing the door.

Felix turned to face the boy. “Have you…been getting up early these past few days to do chores?”

Gray peered up at him, his gaze wary but steady. “Yeah…of course.”

Felix glanced at me but I said nothing, sensing he had something he wanted to say and not wanting to talk over him. After a pause, Felix turned back toward him. “How long have you been getting up early to do chores?”

Another shrug. “A while.”

“Since…you were with your parents.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, can I ask why?”

“I’m supposed to.”

Felix stared at him for a moment. “Or?”

Gray stared back at him. “It’s…I’m not ungrateful.”

“Are there other chores you’ve done this morning?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, so…” Felix glanced at me again, and I nodded, letting him handle this, as awkward as it was. It felt like something more in Felix’s territory than mine. “Can I ask you something?”

“I guess,” Gray answered, which wasn’t exactly a resounding yes, but it was something at least, cautious as it was.

“I don’t need you to give me details, but…wherever you were before, whether it was other foster homes or with your parents…was it that you had to do this kind of stuff around the house or you’d end up in trouble?”

“I…” Gray’s wariness increased. “Yes.”

“Bad trouble?”

“Uh—”

Felix noticed the growing panic and gave him a gentle smile. “I’m not trying to pry. I …know what that’s like. My parents were, uh…terrible people. One of their favorite things was to make sure my brother and I did all the stuff around the apartment, even when we were younger than you. And if we didn’t…well, there’s still proof on this body of mine of what my parents did if we didn’t do exactly what they wanted.”

Gray stared at him for a moment and then, strangely, looked at me. I wasn’t sure if he was wondering if I had a similar story or if he was asking for confirmation of what Felix was saying. Hoping it was the second, I gave him a grave nod of my head because there were definitely a few scars left on Felix’s body from his childhood.

Felix turned, lifting his shirt to show the puckered, almost completely circular scar on his left hip. “That…was a cigarette my mom used on me when I was eight and burned an egg that she screamed at me to make. There’s a couple of broken bones that have healed. Among a bunch of other things.”

Gray stared for a moment before getting to his feet and turning around to pull his shirt up slowly. It took everything in my being not to react as I saw the six-inch-long scar on his back that curled around one of his shoulder blades almost perfectly. It was jagged and messy, and I wondered if that had been a blade or something else, like glass.

“Threw a bottle at you?” Felix guessed, and Gray dropped his shirt to nod and look down at the floor. “First time?”

A shake of the head.

“Last time they got you with that, then?”

A pause and then a nod.

“Alright,” Felix said softly, leaning onto the counter. “When you feel like it, I want to ask you to look at me.”

From anyone else, I would have called it smart, essentially giving Gray the choice of when to do it while still asserting the idea that Gray should do it without being forceful. Considering it came from Felix, though, I knew he wasn’t thinking that cunningly and was simply acting from the heart to help Gray as best he could.

It took a couple of minutes while Felix made a point to busy himself running the dishwasher and cleaning out the sink while I made the coffee. While we did that, eventually, we heard the scrape of the dining chair, and when we looked up, Gray was sitting at the table once more, looking at Felix.

“Okay, you ready?” Felix asked softly.

Gray nodded, his hands out of sight in his lap, but I bet they were balled into fists.

“Alright, first things, if you want to sleep in on normal, not school days, by all means, do that. and I will never require you to get up early in the morning to do chores. We can definitely make up a chore list for you if that would help, to break down everything all of us would be doing. You’re our responsibility, and we’re going to care for you, but you’re not our live-in servant, alright?”

Gray stared at him for a moment before nodding slowly. I couldn’t tell if he understood or was just telling Felix he heard him. I wouldn’t be surprised if this entire speech from Felix was a foreign concept to the boy. No one but Gray would probably ever know what had happened to him with his parents and at other foster homes.

“And as far as punishment for not doing chores, or…other things, like misbehaving, you’re never going to get hit, okay? We won’t scream at you and never insult or put you down…do you know what that means?”

“Put me down?”

“Yes, that.”

“Uh…” he looked around, obviously still nervous, but I watched him take a breath as if to steel himself. “Call me names. Like stupid fucker, or lazy?”

Again, I felt my stomach twist, but Felix smiled knowingly and nodded. “Right, none of that. And I know that probably sounds strange, and you’ve probably heard it before, but give us time to prove it to you. Do you think you can do that?”

“Sure,” he said, not sounding completely doubtful but not enthusiastic. Still, I wasn’t going to complain because, at least with the agreement, there was room for us to work. “Are you going to touch me?”

Okay, so much for making progress.

“What?” I let out a choking noise.

Felix flashed a warning at me, making a motion to calm me before leveling his gaze at Gray. “No. We won’t hug you unless you want to, and we’ll never touch you…where you shouldn’t be touched.”

“Oh.”

Felix took a breath. “Do you want to tell me who touched you before?”

Gray’s eyes went wide, and he shook his head vehemently. “No, it’s…it’s fine.”

“It’s not,” I snapped, unable to help my anger.

“It’s not okay that someone touched you like…that,” Felix corrected, and I was amazed at how calm he was .

“They…didn’t. Just the other boys. Sometimes, they touched each other. Like…you two touch each other.”

As if we didn’t know what he’d meant, but Felix cocked his head. “We don’t touch each other that much.”

“No, like…you did earlier.”

My eyes went wide. “How do you know about that?”

He shrugged. “I could hear stuff. The…other guys did stuff like that too. They were…louder. I mean, I know what sex is. They didn’t have sex with me.”

“Just touched you,” I said, raising a brow.

“Not me,” he said quickly, and then I watched his eyes widen. “Wait, no, I?—”

“It’s okay,” Felix said, and I marveled at his ability to sound so calm despite what we were being told. We knew from Gray’s file that he’d come from a few other homes, including another same-sex couple. Nothing was in the file about the couple themselves, only that they labeled Gray not a good fit for their house. And I couldn’t help but wonder if the reason he wasn’t a good fit was?—

“You wouldn’t let them,” Felix said slowly, clearly thinking the same thing I had.

Gray looked away. “Look, I just?—”

“We’re not going to pry,” I said, taking the lead from Felix. It was the most we’d gotten out of Gray, and it didn’t involve a third party helping us along. Clearly, he knew what he was doing, and I wasn’t going to go off the script. “You tell us what you want to tell us, and only that, alright?”

“I don’t…want to talk about that.”

“That’s fine.”

“But…I mean, if you guys aren’t going to?—”

“We aren’t. Never.”

“Okay. Maybe…I could try to believe you.”

Felix smiled, and as warm as it was, I could feel the relief pouring off him. “That’s all we can ask of you. Let’s just say that this is kind of new for us…having a kid around.”

Gray peered up at him. “You were…like me?”

“The shitty parents or being in the foster care system?”

“Umm.”

“Both, I was both.”

“Oh.”

“That’s why I wanted to do this. Because I know what some of those families can be like, and if I can give even a few kids stuck in the system a chance to have something better…then that’s what I want to do.”

Gray looked between us and then settled on me. “You?”

I wasn’t sure what he meant, but I decided to start where Felix had. “I had a pretty good childhood. My dad left me and my sisters before I was even born, but I had my sisters, my mom, and the rest of her family. I still have them.”

“So…they’re okay.”

“They’re great, but they’re my family, so I’m bound to be a little biased.”

He looked like he might smile before shrugging. “And they like…you guys?”

“Are you asking if they care that I’m married to a guy?”

“I guess.”

“Well, let’s just say that out of the people we invited to the wedding, they were the loudest bunch there. And before you ask, yeah, they absolutely adore Felix…maybe a little too much for his taste.”

Gray’s question was silent as he wrinkled his nose and looked around in confusion.

Felix chuckled at that. “They’re good people. Very nice, very welcoming, but they can be a bit loud and…well, they’re very huggy and like to know everything about you. I’m not used to that if I’m honest. Not used to having people I barely know care that much about me or wanting to know so much about me just because they care. It takes a lot of getting used to it, and I’m still trying to get the hang of it.”

“Oh,” Gray said, looking between us again, and I could sense a thousand questions in his head that he didn’t voice. “Sure.”

“And if you ever feel up to it,” I told him, “we can arrange for you to meet them one day. But only if you want…and when.”

“Okay,” he said.

“Now, the most important question of the morning,” Felix said, standing up and looking down at Gray. “What would you like for breakfast?”

“Umm,” Gray began, clearly thrown off by the question. I held back my chuckle as I realized he wasn’t expecting that. On the other hand, it was a little sad that, of all things, the idea that he could choose what to have for a meal threw him.

“We’ve got the stuff for pancakes, waffles, we’ve got fruit for it, some whipped cream, chocolate chips, bacon, sausages, eggs, really if it’s standard breakfast fare, we’ve got it,” Felix said. “ is big on making sure I eat proper meals…whatever that means.”

“It means having more than a sugary bowl of cereal and a candy bar for breakfast,” I told him dryly.

“Hey, if it gets me food in my stomach?—”

“And precisely zero nutritional content.”

“It says that cereal is part?—”

“Of a balanced breakfast. A candy bar balances nothing.”

Gray watched us back and forth before wrinkling his nose. “You guys are weird.”

“Trust me, kid, we’ll be taking that as a compliment,” I told him with a laugh. “You have to be a little weird to live the kind of lives we have.”

“See, this is why getting married to a man who was a professional adult babysitter can be such a pain in the ass,” Felix said with a sigh. “You don’t get away with much.”

“That’s because you’re not as much of a pain in the ass as Sylas was.”

“Well, yeah, he’s a former actor. There’s no beating out the diva on a fucking actor, for God’s sake.”

A kneejerk reflex rose in me to correct Felix on his language before I tamped it down swiftly. There was no point trying to be ‘proper’ around a kid like Gray, who’d seen and known far worse than some swear words in his short ten years. Honestly, so long as we didn’t start directing it at him, he probably wouldn’t bat an eye at the language.

For the first time since we’d committed to it and brought Gray into the house, I finally felt the impact of the life this boy had come to know. Maybe I was just slow on the draw, or maybe it was normal not to realize what he'd been through. I had stared at his file, with what information we'd been given of his past, and apparently, it hadn't clicked. Even though he'd been here, it was only doing so now.

Horror washed over me as I gazed at him, his face still pulled into one of his rare, genuine smiles. Just when had he stopped feeling like he could smile like that whenever the mood struck him? When had he been made to feel his happiness was not just unwanted but something that could bring trouble? When had he finally learned the lesson that adults, not just his parents, were something to be watched carefully and treated like a dangerous animal that could lash out at you at any moment?

Gray turned his eyes on me, his smile faltering. Felix noticed his reaction before mine and turned to see me, his brow shooting up, eyes darting all over my face to read the weather there. He blinked before sighing. “Gray, do you know how to prep food?"

"Like...cook? "

"I just need someone to get the stuff out so we can cook it."

"Sure."

"Good, just pick out what you want, and I'll cook it up. I need to go throw some laundry in, and I'm dragging this one with me to do the heavy lifting and to find his stray socks."

That seemed to ease Gray's stress, but it certainly didn't do a whole lot to make me feel better. Felix continued to be unfazed as he grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me toward the doorway and down the hall toward our bedroom. He hovered in the doorway, listening to the sounds in the kitchen before closing the door behind him.

"Tell me what's going on in that head of yours, and don't say 'nothing' because I can see it's something," he said.

That brought me up short, and I let out a shaky laugh. “Sounds like something I've said to you in the past."

He rolled his eyes. “Yes, yes, I'm very crazy and fragile."

"Felix—"

"Stop, I'm being an ass. Now talk to me."

I tried to explain the sensation that had filled me, of the enormity of my realization. The problem was that it was impossible to put it into words that would make sense to someone else. Hell, I could barely understand what was going on in my head and I expressed as much before standing there...confused.

Felix chuckled. “I'm pretty familiar with that sensation, don't worry. Sometimes, there are just feelings and thoughts in life that won’t ever come out properly, but...I think I know what happened."

I stared at him. “Why do you look so happy about it?"

Felix cocked his head, and I could hear a muffled thump from the kitchen. “I think he's making so much noise so we can talk, cute. "

"He's a lot more observant at that age than I ever was," I said with a shake of my head.

"Well, that's what that kind of life gives you, the ability and curse to read things other kids your age would and should miss," he said with a shrug. "And me, I'm not really...happy about what you told me. It's more that you've been dealing with all this so well up to this point. It's...nice to see you finally hit a wall where you realize you're lost and confused. Which is kinda fucked up now I think about it."

Now, it was my turn to snort. “Not really. I guess you have every right to be amused. I've been pretty chill about this whole thing, but it just hit me, and then you're there handling it like...well, like a pro. By the way, I told you you’d be better at this than you thought."

"Yeah, yeah," he said, taking my hand. "Well, don't worry too hard. You were right that we can handle this, okay? And let's keep going the way we have been. Just, with me aware that I can actually handle some of this, and you?—"

"Realizing the full scope of how fucked up life has been to him?"

"Neither of us is ever going to understand the full scope. Hell, he'll never understand the full scope, even though he's been through it. Honestly, it's kind of my hope that being here with us shows him more of just how screwed up things for him have been."

"That's...kind of messed up to wish on a kid."

He raised a brow. “I didn't realize how messed up my childhood and the years afterward were until I saw what normal and healthy looked like firsthand. And knowing something like that is the first step to being able to figure out what needs to change in your life so you can have something like normal, healthy shit. I mean...yeah, it sucks when you realize your life was way worse than you ever thought, but that doesn't change that it's important to go through that to learn."

I sighed. “I see your point, but I just...Christ, it's weird. He's already been through enough as it is. Feels weird to rub it in his nose that there's better out there."

"You know that's not what we're doing," he said, pulling me close. "That's just you freaked out."

I thought about that for a moment, shoulders slumping. "I guess the alternative would be throwing him back to the wolves, which is not happening."

He hugged me with a smile. “Not that you ever considered that an option for a minute."

"Not a chance," I said roughly. "I guess I still have plenty to learn myself, huh?"

"We both do," he said, peering at me with a half-smile. "But, if there's anything I've learned today, it's that we're both going to struggle, but we also have our strong points. So, I am saying officially, put it on record if you want, but you were right."

"I'm known to be on occasion."

"Ha ha. Funny."

I kissed his forehead. “But you're right. We made this decision together with a reasonable amount of confidence that we would get through this. And it looks like that wasn't misplaced."

"I guess we'll find out eventually," he said with a chuckle. "We'll see if we manage to screw this up."

Which wasn't exactly a great thought considering screwing up would mean potentially screwing up Gray's life even further. Which I supposed was a pretty common fear for most people in charge of raising a kid, but it was intensified when we had a kid who’d already had a rough go of things.

"I think we've got this," Felix said, his smile wavering slightly but holding at the last second. To anyone else, it wouldn't exactly be a grand and heartfelt show of confidence in us, but they didn't know Felix as I did. Considering Felix had been fretting and worrying endlessly about how badly he would mess things up, that he even thought there was a chance he could get through this without disaster was the best sign I could have hoped for.

"We sure do," I said. Despite my worry and doubt after that moment in the kitchen, I truly believed we could manage this and even excel at it. The two of us had always been good at balancing one another out regarding important things. Sure, sometimes his emotions got the better of him, but it meant he was good at feeling his way through situations where I would have been adrift and confused, as the moment with Gray clearly showcased. It wasn't always perfectly balanced because nothing in life was, but we knew how to work as a team, even if sometimes we took a break from that to butt heads like the stubborn idiots we could sometimes be.

"I love that I know you believe that," Felix said, putting his head against my chest.

"I do," I told him with a smile. "Ready to go prove me right again?"

"Jerk," he said with a laugh. "Let's go.