Page 104 of Hearts and Hidden Secrets

JONAH

Boston

They had a big house. Big and bricked.

Carson had offered to come with me. So had Tanner.

Kai, too. But I didn’t want any of them, not for this.

I didn’t know why. I loved them, every single one of them, but this was the other side of me.

It felt right to be here by myself, to do this alone.

’Cause that’s how I felt at times—alone.

But I wasn’t. I knew it logically. It was hard to explain, but here I was.

Even Ezekiel was parked in a vehicle behind me. There were other guards around me.

But I was here.

I just wanted to see him, see her.

I didn’t plan on talking to either of them. What I’d said to Kai was the truth. It was dangerous to know me, to be loved by me. This was the right thing to do for them. It was my way of protecting them, but they were part of me nonetheless.

A car moved past mine, slowing, and turned in to their driveway. Two guys got out, carrying food. They were laughing. The front door opened before they got there, and my sister appeared.

I leaned forward to get a better look.

She was beautiful. Dark eyes. Yellow dress. Ebony skin. Her hair was pulled up today, in some sort of updo. She smiled at the guys. Both hugged her before stepping in. She paused, looking outside, scanning the street, before following them in.

I knew they were having a party today. They were celebrating that my dad’s wife had gotten a promotion at work.

She was the elementary school’s new principal.

Kai’s PI had called with the information, telling me if I wanted to see my dad, he could make it happen.

He’d made contact with a guy going and could get me an invite to go with him.

I passed. Didn’t feel right meeting them that way.

Seeing them this way was creepy, but at least I could see them. It was on my terms.

I watched for a while as they welcomed more guests, and my dad hadn’t come to the door, not once. It had been my sister or her mom welcoming their guests every time.

My phone buzzed.

Ezekiel: That’s everyone on the guest list.

Me: He never came to the door.

Ezekiel: He might not be there.

Yeah . He was right.

I looked in the rearview mirror, seeing him and the other guards watching me.

I should go. We should go. Carson was at the hotel waiting for me. I knew Kai and Tanner wanted to hear how it went. But it was a thirty-minute drive to the hotel, and I’d been in the vehicle this whole afternoon.

I got out, wanting to stretch my legs.

Ezekiel frowned, but I waved him off. I headed his way. We could figure it out in person—I wanted to move. I was restless.

As I walked to his car, a vehicle approached, a silver Lexus. Ezekiel got out to join me on the sidewalk, and behind me I heard, “Hey!”

I turned and looked.

Ezekiel moved in front of me, reaching for his gun.

A man was hurrying across the road, the Lexus behind him. He’d left it in their driveway, half pulled in. The door was open. “Stop!” he yelled.

Ezekiel stepped forward, but I caught his arm. He hadn’t gotten a good look at the guy.

I had.

It was my father.

He got to the sidewalk, dressed as if he’d come from a business meeting or church—a buttoned-up black shirt. Silver tie. Black slacks.

I moved back, but I didn’t want Ezekiel to guard me.

“Put it away.” I motioned to his gun.

He did but moved to stand beside me. He wasn’t blocking me anymore, but he was at my side, between my father and me.

Gabriel looked at me hard, still a distance away, and nodded to himself. “I know you,” he called.

Thirty yards was between us, but I heard him loud and clear.

“I know who you are,” he repeated

I shook my head. “Nah, man. I’m just talking to a friend here.” I motioned to Ezekiel.

“She told me about you.” His eyes were burning now. “Told me I had a son. I knew it. I knew all this time. Told my wife. My daughter. They know about you, too.”

I moved forward, standing to face him square.

“You’re my son,” he said, his voice strong. “ My son . I would’ve known you anywhere. You look like me. Got her color, but you’re me. I wanted you. Do you know that? I tried to get you, but he wouldn’t let me.”

I stepped back and nearly staggered .

“What?”

“I tried. Over and over again. I wanted my son, but he’s big.

He’s powerful. He’s dangerous. And he threatened me.

Anthony. Her husband. Don’t know why he didn’t just kill me.

I expected it. I knew who he was, what he did.

He killed her instead. He told me he’d kill someone I loved, and she was dead a month later. ”

I’d been so little. I remembered her funeral, remembered not holding her hand anymore.

He raised his chin, defiant. “I got word from your aunt, who told me what he did. She told me you were loved, that he wasn’t hurting you.

She also told me to stop trying to get you, said he’d likely kill you before he let you go.

” He shook his head, lowering it. “I never knew if I did the right thing by backing off or not. I met Cierra around then, but I never stopped wondering.” He looked back up, lifting his chin again.

“But you’re here. You came to me. Is he dead? ”

I nodded. Damn .

I’d been raw when Kai told me about Carson. I was shattered when Melissa died, but this was different. This was a whole other emotion, and I had no idea what it was.

“He’s dead.”

“Good. Good. He deserves to be dead. That’s good.” His eyes were fierce. “You are my son. I love you, always did. I wanted you then. I want you now.”

I started to shake my head, but stopped. I had no idea how to process this shit. None of it.

“I wasn’t going to talk to you,” I told him. “I wasn’t—I wanted to see you. That’s all.”

He took a step forward.

I backed up.

Ezekiel started to move between us, reaching for his gun.

I grabbed his arm. “No.”

But Gabriel stopped, eyeing Ezekiel.

I stepped in front of Ezekiel. “He’s my guard.” I looked back, and a few of the other guards had stepped out of their vehicles. There were a few others on the sidewalk behind us, some on the other side of the street.

Gabriel was looking, too. “I see that.”

“We still do what he did. We do it. My brother runs the family now.”

He nodded. “Kai. I saw the news, saw years back they were looking for your sister. I hoped everything was okay.”

He did?

I nodded, my head swimming—all the facts, everything he knew. I hadn’t known. I hadn’t been prepared. “Brooke is fine. We’re all fine.”

“I have alerts set up for all of you. I know your names. It was just a blip of news, and then it went away. I figured that’s ’cause of what your family does.

” He cracked a grin. “Seeing them now makes me feel a way… They answer to you, right? It’s not the other way—you being captive or anything? They’re protecting you, not, you know…”

I nodded, letting go of Ezekiel’s arm. I’d forgotten I was holding it, keeping him from pulling a gun on my father.

My father.

I’d thought of him that way, but seeing him in front of me, hearing him call me his son...

It was a lot. It was all just a lot.

“They’re protecting me,” I told him.

“Good. That’s good.” His eyes softened again, and he raised that chin up. “But I know you. I wanted you to know that.”

“Yeah,” I managed. “Listen?—”

He shook his head. “Nope. You don’t got to say what you’re going to say.

” He held a hand up. “I know what you’re going to say.

What you do, what your family does, it’s dangerous.

Am I right? That’s the only reason why I can think my son would seek me out, be across the street from my home, but not plan to talk to me.

Because it’s dangerous to know you? Is that what you were going to say? ”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“I don’t care—not about that. I’m a Black man in this society. There are things I’m scared about, but knowing my son? That’s not it. That’ll never be it. I love you. I want you. You hearing me on that?”

I moved my head up and down again.

I couldn’t speak.

My chest was full.

My stomach was full.

My head was full.

I had no idea what to do.

“I really want you to come in and meet your sister. Meet your cousins. Meet my wife. She’s a good woman.

I want you to meet your aunt and your uncles.

And be prepared, some of your uncles might scare you, but they’ll love you.

They don’t know about you, just my wife and your sister, but they will all welcome you.

You’re family. My son. I’m proud to finally meet you.

” His face was wet with tears now. “If you don’t want to walk to the house, come inside, and meet people who already love you, that’s fine.

But know this, we do love you. We do want you. You are always welcome. Always.”

A door opened in the distance.

“Dad?”

I stepped back, knowing who that could be.

Gabriel rolled his shoulders back. He shot me a look. “Right.”

He went up the driveway. He said something, making it sound like a joke. I didn’t know. I heard her laugh, heard the relief, and then he was back in his car and parking it in a better spot.

I stepped back, feeling like the world had just exploded.

My sister was at the door, waiting for her dad.

Gabriel parked, got out, locked his car, and went to her. He held the door as she went inside, and looked one last time at me.

He stood there a moment, staring at me.

I stood there, staring back.

“Dad?” Even from outside, I heard her call for him.

Still he stood there, staring at me.

He wasn’t going to go back inside, not until I moved.

I had to make the decision. He was waiting on me.

Goddamn .

Tears fell down my face. I knew it. I couldn’t stop them. I didn’t want to stop them.

I’d grown up with a man I knew was never my father. I grew up feeling different from my family—a part of them, but apart from them. Now my father was waiting for me, letting me decide. I blinked so many times, trying to stop the tears.

There was no way to prepare for this.

I hadn’t told him I was a doctor.

I wanted to tell him I was a doctor.

“Go, man.” Ezekiel nodded toward the house.

“Go.”

I started, but then stopped.

My sister came back to the door. She stepped in front of him, looking where he was looking. She frowned, paused, and then recognition hit her. Her eyes bulged, and her mouth dropped open. She gasped, a slight scream. She pressed her hand to her mouth, but it was done. It was over.

I started moving toward them as she ran down the stairs to me.