Page 58 of Heart of the Hunter (Band of Bastards #3)

“I recognize a kindred soul in you.”

Anora turned to see Lady Alyce standing a short distance away on the wall walk with a gentle look of understanding on her kind face.

She’d been leaning on her elbows on the stone parapet, watching the village life below the castle wall as she racked her brain for what she could do to protect herself, her father, and the goldsmith shop from Baron Payne.

Folding her hands demurely in front of her, she nodded respectfully to the lady of the castle. “Pardon, my lady?”

“I prefer my friends call me Alyce,” she said with a smile that helped to put Anora’s restless nerves at ease. “I think you and I have something in common. This is my preferred place for when I have much on my mind that needs to be sorted.”

Anora laughed lightly. “Is it so very obvious?”

Alyce moved to Anora’s side and leaned against the parapet, resting her folded her hands on the stone as she looked out over the village. “It is. But even more apparent was Hunter’s distress when he requested your protection here.”

Anora’s stomach was a roiling mess of conflicting emotions.

Her heart ached for Hunter, but her pride still stung from his lack of faith in her.

She feared for his safety knowing he was distressed, but much to her shame, felt perversely satisfied that he was as conflicted and tormented as she was over the situation.

“How can I be so angry with someone I love so much?” Anora felt the blood rush to her cheeks, embarrassed for blurting the question before she thought about what she was about to say.

“I believe it is because you love him so much.” Alyce’s lips curved in a small smile of understanding. “If it were not so, his actions would not be of such import. It is why I still get angry with Hawk.”

“He causes you anger, even now? You have yet to come to an understanding?” Anora had hoped that if there was a future with Hunter, it would not involve so much conflict.

It was lady Alyce’s turn to laugh. “Yes, he still angers me, as I do him, at times. Two strong-minded people will not always be of the same mind. But at the end of the day, I know Hawk to be good and kind, and I know he loves me and wants what is best for me.” She leaned against the parapet and looked out over the village.

“But he also knows I can be stubborn—too stubborn at times—and often when he challenges me it is because I am pushing for the sake of pushing instead of being honest with myself that my reasoning is not sound.”

Anora felt her cheeks redden as she stood next to Alyce looking out over the village and admitted, “Another thing we have in common.”

“Having said all that,” Alyce arched a sleek auburn eyebrow as she spoke, “it did take time and training on my part to make him realize the full extent of my capabilities.”

“That is the current struggle I am having,” Anora conceded. “He does not think me capable of anything that involves risk.”

“It is because of his fear of not being in control and not being able to protect you. For me, the struggle became easier when I admitted that I can be a hindrance to Hawk if he is more focused on keeping me safe than on dealing with the threat. Certain situations Hawk is more adept at handling, and in others I am more adept. Learn his strengths and learn yours. Remember that it is a game of giving and taking. There will be times for you to be bold, and there will be times for you to let Hunter do what he does best. With time, he will learn the same lesson.”

“I’ve been determined for so long that I would not let a man force me to change,” Anora lamented. “I want to be accepted for who I am.”

“There is a difference between giving up who you are and realizing when to compromise. I am a better judge of that now. As is Hawk.”

Anora sighed as she digested Lady Alyce’s wisdom.

“In truth, I understand Hunter’s fear. Yesterday, when we did not know who had been shot with the arrow, I was sick with worry that it might be him.

And when I saw him returned, whole and hale, I nearly collapsed with relief.

It was the worst heartache I’ve ever experienced, and I do not know if I can live that way, wondering every time he leaves if he will be returning. ”

“I understand,” Alyce said, her voice sympathetic.

“Remember that the man you fell in love with is the man before you now—as he is now. If you ask him to stop being a protector, to stop being the prideful warrior he has been for most of his life, then he will no longer be the man you fell in love with. I think some measure of why we love them is because they are dangerous, untamable men who show their vulnerabilities and true heart only to us, and if we ask them to no longer be dangerous and untamable, then we are asking them to stop being the very thing we love.”

Anora’s heart twisted because there was truth in what she said. “Is it worth the pain and dread every time they leave?”

Alyce set her hand on top of Anora’s where it rested on the stone wall. “Aye. It is.”