Page 8 of Heart of Fire (Royal Ice Dragons #3)

HANNA

Kaelan was obviously out of sorts about walking.

To be fair, he was out of sorts about a lot of things at the moment.

As we crested the ridge, the city unfolded before us, a breathtaking expanse of ice and snow that glittered under the sun. Icy spires soared into the sky, each one reflecting pale blues and silvers, casting an otherworldly glow over the streets below. The beauty of it was almost enough to make me forget just how dangerous it was.

But the enormous dome that covered the space observatory glittered in the distance, like an enormous eye, searching for us.

“We’ve got to fix the observatory problem,” Kaelan said coolly.

My breath misted in the frigid air. The cold was the cost of this particular kind of beauty. But gods, I missed feeling the sun on my bare skin. That kind of warmth felt like a distant memory.

Thorne scanned the city. As we descended the road into the village, my initial wonder ebbed away, replaced by a bone-deep chill. The city might have been beautiful, but up close, the cracks showed. The ice was dirty, stained with soot and grime, and the buildings seemed to leer over us.

“I’ll lead the way,” Thorne said, a protective edge in his voice. “Alys has a safe house we can make use of.”

“Another one?”

“My sister has her ways.” He sounded as if he were barely paying attention to our conversation. He was too on guard.

“I want to have your sister’s ways, can she teach me?”

“The world doesn’t need any more Alyses, believe me.”

We wound our way through narrow alleys that twisted between buildings like frozen veins, the sounds of our boots crunching on the snow echoing off the walls. The last of the opulence faded, giving way to a sketchier part of town where the wind howled through the streets like a wraith.

“Here,” Thorne said, pausing before a derelict building that didn’t look as if it were owned by anyone. Its windows were dark, the doorway gaping open.

He muttered the words of an enchantment as he entered.

Stepping inside, the comparative silence was immediate, the wind’s howl muted. We passed through the spell that made the place seem abandoned, and when I blinked, the derelict surroundings shifted into a room that was warm and cozy.

“It’ll do for the night.” Kaelan moved to the doorway, unable to rest while anything needed to be done for my safety and comfort. “I’ll secure the perimeter. Make sure we’re not being shadowed. Then find us some real food.”

“Be careful,” I warned.

Kaelan offered a tight smile, the kind that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Always. Unlike someone I could mention.”

“Are you really being casually judgmental, after your recent life choices?—”

He disappeared into the dusk, which was one way to win an argument. I threw up my arms in exasperation as I turned to Thorne.

“Let me see your side.” Thorne’s hands were gentle as they traced the bandage wrapped around my torso, his touch sending unexpected warmth through the chill.

“Does it still hurt?” he asked, eyes flickering up to meet mine.

“Only when I laugh. Which currently isn’t much of an issue.”

“I see.” When he was looking at me, for a moment, the treacherous world beyond these walls seemed to fade away. “I’d say I’d have to bore you, but I know how dangerous you are when bored.”

Thorne,” I began, but stopped.

I didn’t know what I wanted to say. I just knew that I wanted him.

“Come here.” Thorne drew me into his lap. I looped my arm around his shoulders.

He pressed a kiss to my forehead as I rested my head on his shoulder. All the chaos of the day fled when I was safe in his arms. I was too tired to talk, which was unlike me. I liked being in the peace with Thorne, though.

But Kaelan was gone too long, and I found myself straining for the soft sounds of his boots on the ground. “Kaelan is taking his time. Do you think he really just went to check the perimeter and steal some supper? Or is he…”

Thorne didn’t look at me. Instead, he picked at a loose thread on the tattered blanket, pulling it until it snapped. “Kaelan may not tell us all his plans every time.”

“Right.” The word was bitter on my tongue. “Maybe you can abide being treated like a servant, but I can’t.”

When Thorne scoffed, I knew I’d struck at something that stung him. I chewed my lip. Thorne was the one who was too good for both Kaelan and me.

I started to speak before I knew quite how I was going to take those words back, but Thorne caught my chin with a finger and turned my gaze to his. Whatever anger he might have felt for a second, he had already released. “Do you really think Kaelan treats you like a servant? He’s a prick. He’s always going to be a prick. But he adores you. He’s trying to protect you.”

I didn’t want to be protected if it meant they put themselves in more danger. The three of us together should be stronger, safer, than we were apart. As it was, I was a liability.

Kaelan was right. His father would stop at nothing to use me to punish Kaelan. I remembered Edric’s cold gaze as he humiliated me with Kaelan’s false memories, in front of the whole court.

“We need you,” Thorne said quietly. “We can’t afford to lose you.”

I knew he spoke the truth. But I was a distraction. How much faster would these men move if they weren’t worried about me? “It also seems like you can’t afford to keep me.”

“No,” Thorne said, frustrated. Then he sighed as if words weren’t enough and hugged me closer, resting his jaw lightly on top of my head. “Loving you is maddening.”

“Loving you isn’t exactly sanity inducing either,” I reminded him.

The door swung open with a gust of icy air, and Kaelan stepped into the dimly lit room, shaking snowflakes from his dark hair. His arrival brought a wave of relief that I hid, because Kaelan was kind of a prick, and he brought out that side of me too.

“Finally,” I said.

Kaelan’s eyes met mine, and there was a flicker of something unreadable. “I’m sorry you worried. The streets are a maze, and it turns out the locals aren’t too fond of strangers.”

I crossed my arms over my chest, trying to hold onto my annoyance; his easy apology made me feel as if he were trying to be different. “And here I was thinking you were off plotting our next move without me.”

“Never,” he replied, closing the distance between us. He reached out, gently brushing a loose strand of hair from my face. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

My frustration dissolved into the warmth of his touch. I leaned into him, our lips meeting in a tender kiss.

“Missed me?” he whispered against my mouth.

“Maybe a little,” I conceded.

Kaelan unfurled his bundle on the table. Inside was a simple but hearty meal: a pot of stew, crusty bread, thick slices of salted meat, and a wedge of hard cheese.

“What’s the story behind the meal, Kaelan?” I asked him.

“You’re not the only one with light fingers,” Kaelan reminded me, though Thorne and I regarded him skeptically. Kaelan was so dignified and dangerous I couldn’t imagine him stealing. I could imagine him terrifying some poor shopkeeper without even intending to and being showered with gifts.

We sat close together, our knees nearly touching under the table, and ate in companionable silence.

Kaelan leaned back against the wall, his eyes shadowed. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small book.

“I was going out to try to shore up some alliances,” he admitted. “Carefully, given what Alden said. And it turns out Dare received the gift we sent.”

“He wrote to you.” Relief surged in my chest.

Kaelan nodded and held out his arm to me. I slid into his lap, and he wrapped his arm around me as I straddled his thigh. I could see Dare’s tight, angular handwriting scrawled across the page as Kaelan read his words aloud for Thorne’s sake.

“ To my adored future king and queen—and Thorne .”

I couldn’t resist a grin. I could hear Dare’s sarcastic voice as Kaelan read, “ I made my way through Gris and Homms already , making deals on your behalf that we’ll probably die before we can keep anyway . Now I’ve stopped at Kustav’s territory . The miners here are angry at the nobles in general , but they are also worried about the deaths from the mines caused by bonesteel poisoning and increasing cave-ins , so I believe that if I can help them , they will serve you .

Because that’s the part that matters , of course .

With the very greatest respect and deference — Dare .”

I shook my head, still smiling. Dare had a much kinder heart than he would ever admit.

Kalan continued, “He’s safe, Hanna. Or at least as safe as he can be.”

“Or at least as safe as he can be in Kustav’s nasty little mining kingdom,” Thorne muttered.

I exhaled slowly, trying to let go of the dread that had wound itself tightly around my ribs. Kaelan watched me as if he wanted me to believe, to hold onto the thread of hope that Dare was beyond the king’s reach.

That made me feel as if it were less likely to be true. These men were always protecting me, weren’t they?

“Thank you,” I managed.

Under the dim light, I saw a glint of satisfaction in Kaelan’s eyes, but he said nothing, handing the book over to me. I shook my head and handed it back. Let him carry it.

I wasn’t ready to write to Dare. All my feelings about him pressed painfully in my chest, and I didn’t know how to make them come out in neat rows of words that would be understood. Dare and I misinterpreted each other too easily. We needed to speak face-to-face.

Deep into the night, I woke with a start. The room was silent except for their soft breathing. But inside me, a storm raged. My chest tightened, breaths coming short and fast. Panic clutched at me with icy fingers.

In my dreams, I was being chased by children who wanted to kill me. They were driving me away from Dare’s body, which sprawled in the snow, his green eyes gazing at eternity.

Except these children carried the faces of my nieces and nephews. Briden and Lysander and Xera, coming after me with knives, their faces etched with terror even as they were driven by magic.

What a ridiculous nightmare. I’d been stalked by an assassin who was a changeling of rare power; there was no reason to think I’d ever face my sweet little nieces and nephews as enemies while they were under an enchantment.

I’d been in so many dangerous situations. Why was it only now, in peace and safety, that I was a panicking mess?

In the darkness, I pressed a hand to my heart, willing it to slow its frantic pace. “You’re safe,” I mouthed to myself, like a prayer.

The last time I’d been this frantic, I’d been afraid for Kaelan and Thorne when we were all flung to the winds. Dare had comforted me.

It didn’t seem like a coincidence that my second panic attack was now when he was far from my side.

The darkness seemed to constrict around me. My breaths were shallow, ragged gasps, as if I were being suffocated.

The soft sound of the wind outside, muted by the walls, transformed into the eerie whispers of children.

I struggled to soften my ragged breathing, desperate not to wake Kaelan and Thorne. I didn’t want them to see me like this. When I was trying to convince them I could fight at their side, I couldn’t let them see me as weak.

“Hanna? What’s wrong?” Thorne’s voice sliced through the stillness, groggy at the beginning and sharpening as he woke.

I bit my lower lip, my head collapsing back into my pillow.

Kaelan’s hand found mine in the dark. “Breathe, Hanna,” he murmured, close enough that I felt the warmth of his breath against my cheek.

Ashamed, I tried to pull away before he could feel the tears that traced cold paths down my face. “I’m fine.”

“Hey, none of that,” Thorne chided gently, his hand resting lightly on my shoulder. “You don’t have to pretend with us.”

Their comforting words just made me feel pathetic.

The silence stretched between us. I sat up, drawing my knees into my chest, trying to shrink away from the concern etched in Kaelan’s and Thorne’s eyes. Their steady gazes felt as if they could pierce right through me.

Then slowly, my riot of emotions passed. I let out a jagged breath. As humiliating as it felt to be seen in my moment of weakness, they were trying to be here for me.

“Can I put my arm around you or do you need space?” Thorne asked kindly. The kindness in his tone made tears prickle in my eyes, which made me feel even more humiliated. Gods. These men were never going to trust me to fight with them.

My desire for them, and for their comfort, warred with my dignity. With my need not to break down any further.

“Your arm, please.” My voice was clipped.

Thorne settled his arm around my shoulders, drawing me into his warm side. I closed my eyes and tried to match my breathing to his soft, easy pace.

I allowed myself, for just a moment, to lean on their strength.

Kaelan’s grip on my hand tightened. “We’re here for you, Hanna. There’s no need to be tough all the time.”

“Yes. We know how strong you are…nothing will shake how we see you.” Thorne’s gaze flickered toward Kaelan. “No matter what he says when he’s trying to bait you. He just likes any attention from you.”

Kaelan gave Thorne a skeptical look.

I couldn’t help the manic laugh that bubbled up, despite the lingering echoes of my panic. It was absurd, the way Thorne made Kaelan out to sound like a petulant child acting out for my attention.

“Right.” I couldn’t quite make my tone playful, but I rolled my eyes. “Because Kaelan is well known for his neediness.”

Kaelan raised an eyebrow, but the corner of his mouth twitched in amusement, or maybe in relief that my mood had brightened. But neither of them could hide their concern.

The thought that Dare had told them all about my weaknesses, that they had discussed me and my bouts of panic, made me want to writhe in embarrassment. Perhaps the ice could break open and swallow me up.

“Stop it,” I muttered, my words directed at myself as much as at them. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?” Kaelan stroked my back gently.

“Like I’m about to shatter,” I whispered.

“We know you aren’t.” Thorne wove his fingers through mine, and I didn’t want him to notice my hands were shaking. “Maybe you shake so you won’t shatter.”

Sweat cooled on my skin as the last tremors of panic subsided. I focused on steadying my breath, grateful for the solid warmth of Thorne and Kaelan on either side of me.

Thorne’s voice broke the silence, deliberately casual. “Did I ever tell you about the snow foxes we saw near when we were out near the taiga? I hope you’ll see them sometime. You’ll find them very cute.”

I shook my head, not trusting my voice yet.

“Clever little things,” Thorne said, clearly about to launch into a story to distract me, but Kaelan cut him off.

“Are they?” Kaelan raised a brow. “One of them stole your boot to eat, which given the stench of your boots, seems like a particularly desperate move.”

Thorne rolled his eyes. “You’re exaggerating.”

“Oh, so did you lose your boots in the forest? That seems more embarrassing for you. I’m surprised to trust you to watch our queen when you can’t even keep track of your boots?”

Their bickering washed over me, slowly easing the tension from my muscles.

“Speaking of adventures on the taiga,” Thorne said. “Did I ever tell you about my encounter with the ice trolls?”

Kaelan groaned. “Not this story again.”

Thorne grinned at Kaelan’s complaint. “There I was, alone on the taiga—blessedly, because Kaelan would have made this situation far worse—when I encountered an ice troll.”

Thorne told us an exaggerated tale of his first encounter with an ice troll, painting himself as the brave hero despite the obvious embellishment. Kaelan offered his own thoughts as asides, and between the two of them, I found myself laughing.

“Of course, the troll recognized Thorne’s unparalleled valor, and he found himself king of the trolls.” Kaelan explained.

“ God of the trolls,” Thorne corrected, and I laughed again.

“So why aren’t you running your troll kingdom now?” I teased, surprised by how steady my voice was now.

“Because Thorne knew I needed him too much, so he handed back the crown and came back to me,” Kaelan said.

“Your neediness is a burden,” Thorne agreed.

Their banter drew my laughter, pulling me further from the ledge of panic until I found myself falling asleep in their arms, their voices fading into a warm, soft blur.

* * *

When I woke, Kaelan was already awake, with a map spread before him at the table in the corner. “Good morning, Hanna. I hope you slept well after…everything.”

“Better than I expected,” I admitted, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

When Kaelan held out his arm to me, I settled into his lap, and he looped his arm around my waist. His lips nuzzled my cheek. “Good.”

“What are you up to?” I asked him.

“Figuring out where we need to shore up alliances.” He tapped his fingers on one part of the map. “Dare’s out here, in the mining province. My father will be interested in controlling access to the bonesteel, but I think Kustav will be as loyal to me as can be expected, given that he is a raging asshole.”

Dare was out there alone. I found it hard to imagine.

“Dare’s situation worries me,” I said, and he tensed, his muscles tightening against my body. “Dare is out there alone. Jaia and Azora have each other. I know he wants to be alone, but…”

Kaelan groaned. “Are you suggesting I send you to him?”

I hadn’t been. I didn’t expect possessive, overprotective Kaelan to allow me out of his sight with Edric stalking us, at least not unless he knocked me unconscious and sent me home to the Isle in a crate.

But as I studied the planes of his face, his icy blue eyes that softened now with concern, it seemed to me as if he were slowly changing. He was always going to be a bit of an arrogant prick, but he was learning to lean on me, just as he expected me to lean on him.

I’d softened lately too. I wasn’t sure if I’d felt his fear for me through the marital bond. Maybe he’d felt my concern for Dare.

“Yes.” I ran my fingers through his thick, dark hair, pushing it back from the handsome lines of his face.

“Well, I hate that idea,” Kaelan said, so bluntly that I grinned.

“I know.” I kissed the corner of his beautiful mouth. “But maybe I’d be safer there than at your side.”

“He could use your skills,” he admitted, and my heart soared at his confidence. Then, warningly, he added, “He won’t like having you there.”

“That will make it so much more fun.”

“I think Dare needs you. And our kingdom needs you both, doing your devious, wicked best.”

The thought of being there for Dare cut through the helplessness I’d felt last night, and I felt a playful smile light my face, saw that light reflected in Kaelan’s gaze. “You love when I am wicked and devious.”

He pulled a face as if that were doubtful.

“ Yes , husband , I’ll do as you say , sir ,” I echoed the words I knew he liked to hear best.

Kaelan let out a laugh. “I know you’re mocking me, but you know what? I don’t care. Just keep saying it, eventually it will sink in.”

Then he leaned over and kissed me.