Page 14 of Heart of Fire (Royal Ice Dragons #3)

DARE

As I walked back at the end of the day, I was exhausted. Although, the other miners had covered for my absence, and I hadn’t been mining.

I’d spent the day exploring the unused bits of the west tunnel in hopes I’d find an entrance to Kustav’s hidden armory.

My heart beat a little faster imagining Hanna waiting for me at home. I felt a swoop of loss at the thought she might be gone, no matter how much I’d pushed her away. I studied the streets, watching for her familiar figure.

Then I reached my small cottage and pushed the door open, bracing myself for her presence, for my answering joy, and to not to show her any hint of that happiness.

The dim light leaking through the thick-paned windows revealed no sign of her with the neatly made bed or the small table that held my books and the enchanted box. The cottage was dark and empty.

Disappointment curdled in my gut.

I ran my fingertips over the box, then opened it to reveal the bonesteel, which looked like a dull and unpromising bit of rock at the moment. It didn’t look like anything that could cause so much harm.

I shut it again. I didn’t want to know what Kaelan would think of how distracted I had become. He would sanction my search for the daggers, but for some reason, I hadn’t revealed that to him either.

If Hanna and Kaelan knew I’d come here to seek a gift for her, they would know far too much about how I felt.

I snapped the lid shut. I’d spent so much time working on ways to expand the enchantment, but right now, I couldn’t focus. Hanna’s absence screamed at me.

Instead, I headed to the same pub I’d been to for most of my meals.

When I walked in, it smelled like simmering stew and hops as always. But there were more women than usual seated around one of the tables. The pubs were usually filled with men.

At one of the tables, a young woman held court.

A familiar, slight, blonde-haired figure had apparently won over the village while I was searching the mines.

“What are you up to?” I leaned my hands on the back of her chair, knowing she couldn’t answer me honestly now but unable to resist asking. I didn’t look down at her because I hated seeing her different face. But her presence, her radiating warmth, was always the same.

“Making new friends.” She put one hand over mine in greeting, though she didn’t turn to face me.

Peasants didn’t want to be friends with nobles any more than nobles cared for the idea of sitting down to brown bread and tea in the village. My father had despised people like Kaelan and Hanna. The memory of his disgust made me feel like something inside me was being stretched, torn.

“Come home to bed, love. Leave these poor women in peace.”

“We’ve enjoyed getting to know the lady,” one of the women said brightly.

A man nearby scoffed. “It’s not more nobles that’ll fix what the nobles broke.”

“I agree,” I said.

Hanna rose from the table, gathering a basket from beneath it that she looped over her arm. “Husbands are so very demanding.”

“I hope that one is giving too.” One woman gave us a distinctly lewd look.

Hanna shared a grin with the women as if she had thoroughly inserted herself into village life during a dozen unattended hours, then took my arm. I felt stiff and self-conscious as I walked with her to the door.

“So how are we going to fix things?” Hanna asked me, resting her head against my shoulder as we walked down the lane.

I felt a rush of warmth having her so close, and then I shook her off, moving ahead of her.

“You heard them. You’re not the one who can fix anything here.”

“Are you mad at me?” She sounded amused by the idea. “Again? Always?”

I unlocked the door to the cottage, trying to ignore her. As if that were ever possible for me.

Hanna followed me inside, stripping off both her cloak and her false face. “You knew I’d still be here.”

“You’ve got to get out before Lord Kustav sees you.”

“Too late.” She sounded light-hearted.

Fear curled like a fist in my gut. We were a long way from any help, and Kaelan and Thorn could be drawn into a trap if we were discovered. “He saw you.”

“Yes. Can I kill him? Would it be too inconvenient?” She bustled around the room as she spoke, unpacking bread and fruit from her basket before she went to the fire to set the kettle.

“Hanna. This is not a joke. He saw you, how did he react?”

Her face told me everything I already feared was true.

There was something about our girl’s bright aura that drew people’s attention.

“Gods damn it, Hanna. Do you know what he’ll do to these people now if you go missing?”

“Then I won’t go missing.” She started to hum to herself as she searched the small kitchen, then shrugged and pulled out her knife to saw into the loaf of bread.

I raked both hands through my hair, feeling as if my despair were more evident on my face than ever before. “He’ll find out you aren’t married, and then I’ll have to fucking kill him, and that will be a huge inconvenience?—”

“Why would you have to kill him?” Her basket seemed endless, because now she was drawing out fucking flowers , dried and tied with a ribbon, and hanging them above our bed.

“You know why I’d have to kill him.”

She stared up at me, all wide eyed innocence. Whenever that look was on her face, it was pure bullshit. “No, Dare, I really don’t see why. I can take care of myself.”

“Bullshit.”

“I must, or you wouldn’t be ready to send me flying over half the Ice Kingdom to try to find Kaelan and Thorne.” She blinked those long lashes up at me.

“I cannot stand you.”

“Is that so?” She seemed far too amused by the sentiment.

“You’re causing so much trouble.”

“All of which I can take care of on my own.” She drew a colorful ribbon sewn with woven pennants, with childish stitching, out of her bag and spun around the room as if she were trying to find the best place to hang it.

“I’m not going to let him take you,” I gritted, pushing her against the wall so she would stop moving and look at me.

But now that she was looking up at me, I didn’t feel any calmer. Not when the look she fixed me with was so frustrating, as if she had already figured out a puzzle while I was still trying to chip its pieces free from a block of ice.

“You don’t have to worry about me, Dare. I can go into his palace and find my own way out, if that’s what’s needed to protect these people.”

“You can’t. You’re going to ruin my mission?—”

“Which is what, exactly? To rally these people to Kaelan’s side when their lord would already order them into battle for him?”

“They shouldn’t have to fight for him.”

“For who? For their lord or for Kaelan?” She clutched the weaving to her chest as if they were precious to her. They must be some prize from her day’s misadventures.

I stared down at her. “Are you questioning my loyalty?”

“I still don’t know what you’re doing here, Dare. Why don’t you explain it to me?”

“I’m not going to do that.”

“Then I’m going to question your loyalty.”

The two of us stared at each other. She wasn’t smiling anymore, and we were so close together that I could feel the tension in her body, the way her heart was beating faster, her breath coming shorter. I’d rarely seen the princess distressed, no matter how much things fell to pieces around us, except in her unguarded moments at night.

But she was emotional now.

“I can’t tell you what I’m doing,” I said. “But I can promise you it is exactly what Kaelan would ask me to do, if he could.”

“If he could?”

“If he knew what I know.”

She threw up her arms. “He could know! He has the book! You could write him!”

“It’s not that simple,” I growled, knowing that my claim would make no sense to her.

The room looked so much brighter now. There were signs of her presence everywhere, and it made me feel as if I were drowning in her.

I always felt as if I were drowning in her and in my need.

I had to get away from her. I grabbed my cloak and headed for the door, shoving my feet into my boots and tearing out into the icy night.

But of course, as soon as I was out on the street, she followed me. She took her turn setting her hands on my chest and steering me backward. I didn’t want to hurt her, so I let her slam me into the wall. I raised my hands to keep from touching her in a heated moment.

“There’s nothing left to talk about,” I told her.

“You’re just keeping secrets out of habit.” She sounded so exasperated. “You’re a secretive bastard when you could just let me help you .”

I started to shake my head, but then I saw one of the mounted guards turning the corner down the street. None of the miners had horses.

They’d be between us and our cottage door too quickly for us to escape back out of sight.

“I’m going to kiss you,” I told her, cupping my gloved hand on her hip. Even through the leather, touching her body sent a pulse of heat through me.

“What if I kiss you first?” Her lips parted in a smile.

She leaned in closer, her body pressing against mine as she lifted her lips in offering. As she rose onto her tiptoes, her weight swayed against me, warm and comforting. Our eyes locked, each daring the other to make the first move.

I was kissing her for entirely practical reasons. There was no reason for me to hesitate. But it felt as if she might see far too much about how I felt the second I let myself kiss her.

And then, in a sudden rush of boldness, she closed the gap between us. Her lips met mine in a soft, tentative touch that swept through my body in a way that was anything but soft.

Her hands slid up my chest, fingers curling into the fabric of my shirt as she deepened the kiss, her body pressing against mine with a fierce urgency. The world around us faded into nothingness, even though it had been my reason to kiss her in the first place.

Her fingers tangled in my hair, pulling me closer as if she never wanted this moment to end. My heart thundered in my chest. In the distance, there was the sound of hoofbeats receding. There was no reason for us to keep kissing.

But I couldn’t lift my lips from hers.

She responded with hunger that matched my own, her soft lips moving against mine with desperate need. Her hands roamed over my back, pulling me closer as if trying to erase any space between us.

I felt as if I were drowning in her, lost in the taste of her lips and the scent of her skin. My hands cupped her face, holding her close as if she were the most precious thing in the world. That touch betrayed too fucking much, but I couldn’t stop myself.

It was one thing to kiss her so the guards would see us as the landscape; it was another thing to keep us exposed out here when the need had passed. I pulled away, my breathing ragged and my heart racing.

Despite my best efforts to keep it closed, it felt as if our kiss had opened a door.

She looked up at me with this dreamy expression that I couldn’t be sure was real. It might be for the benefit of anyone watching.

I took her hand and pulled her with me back toward the cottage. “Not a word.”

“Not a word,” she agreed as we entered the dwelling.

She began to undress for bed, and I gritted my jaw, trying not to watch her. But the room was too small; I couldn’t help but be aware of her presence, of a bared shoulder, of the flash of a pale leg as she began to rub lotion over her skin.

She glanced at me over her shoulder with a mischievous smile that I caught before I jerked my gaze away. “As long as you sing.”

“Sing?”

“Sing me a lullaby. Put me to bed.”

“No.” I dared to look toward her again, knowing once I looked, it was hard for me to look away. All I wanted to do was study her, to make sense of this maddening girl.

Her blonde hair tumbled down her bare back, revealing the knobs of her spine, the gentle indent of her waist above her rounded hips. “I’d like to sleep tonight without waking up in a panic.”

Her voice was soft. Vulnerable. Unexpected.

It undid me. I hated the thought of her waking up panicked.

“And you think a lullabye will do that?” My voice came out hard and disbelieving.

She shrugged, the same careless smile as usual coming to her lips. “When it’s yours? I do.”

When I got into bed with her, she looked as if she thought she had won.

I sang the same song I used to listen to my parents singing together as they cleared the table and did their final chores for the night when I was lying in my bed closest to the fire.

I had so few memories left of them.

What the hell would they think of me if they knew how much I wanted this royal girl?

* * *

I had fantasized all my adult life about coming home to the place I had grown up. To stay. To be the man my uncles and aunts thought I was—the one they could trust, even though he had spent so many years with the Royals, the one who was looking out for their interests, the one who would come home.

Hanna had already ruined my dream. I couldn’t stop thinking about her, and the nebulous dream I’d once had of marrying a peasant girl and living the life my parents should have had was wrecked.

I’d always thought about Greia, and when I made my pilgrimages home, she had always been waiting for me. I told her she shouldn’t wait for me, that I didn’t know if I’d ever settle down. She’d always told me she wasn’t waiting for me, right before she’d tackled me over and kissed me.

I hadn’t been waiting for anyone. When I wasn’t in the village, I had a dozen other girls. I didn’t try to hide my habits from Greia. She certainly got her itches scratched and didn’t wait around for me to come home and please her, either.

Meanwhile, Kaelan and Thorne had both disappointed women to their right and left. There had been a constant downturning of painted lips as my friends turned away from every woman who sought their attention. I didn’t understand then what the hell they were waiting for.

Now that I’d met Hanna, I knew.

I wondered if those stupid bastards had even told her that their dicks had been firmly under her control even when she was on an entirely different continent. Even when Kaelan claimed that he despised her.

But I could never bring her into my parents’ home. I could never rebuild the wreckage. I could never return to the life stolen from me.

And yet, even though I was furious with her and how she ruined everything…how she ruined me…

I longed to take care of her.

That was why I found myself pacing through the snow, winding up the same long, twisted trail up to the castle that the servants took for their shifts.

“What’s your business here?” A guard demanded when I reached the castle.

“I’m here to see Lord Kustav,” I said.

He glanced me over and let out a laugh. “Are you sure you’re not here to see the Lord’s horse’s ass as you clean the stables?”

I hated hiding who I really was. This man would’ve cowered if he knew who I was to Kaelan. “His chief at arms, then. I have information Lord Kustav will find interesting.”

“Go home.” His hand tightened on his cudgel, hefting it between us. “You must be drunk. You don’t have anything to tell Armsmaster Dugan.”

I raked my hand through my hair. He looked impatient at the stalling tactic, raising his cudgel to block my way–and threaten me.

At the base of my skull, I touched the spell of persuasion tattooed on my neck. I should’ve used it from the start, but magical solutions are almost always second best.

And they wouldn’t help me once I managed an audience with Lord Kustav, who should have magic of his own.

“Armsmaster Dugan would be interested in my information,” I said. “I’ll be down at the Crusty Owl Pub if he is, in fact, interested in Lord Baelur’s attempts to sabotage your mines.”

I gave him a smile and turned and walked away.

“Who are you?” he called after me. “How do you know anything about Lord Baelur?”

I know what he looks like when he’s ordering an execution .

I turned back. Could I really get these Royals to helpfully slaughter each other for me, work out where Kustav was keeping his ill-gotten treasures, and rally support for Kaelan?

“I was one of his,” I said. “Served in his castle. I saw something I shouldn’t have.”

That was all true, in the strictest sense.

No one should watch their parents hang.

I had served in his castle, until Kaelan rescued me. Of course, I’d thought at the time it was Kustav being rescued, since I was plotting how I was going to steal into his room at night and slit his throat. But since I was ten years old, I just would’ve gotten myself murdered too.

I headed back down the long, treacherously slick path, my shoulders bunched against the cold. At least I could hunch over as the wind blew through my rough clothes; peasants didn’t need to worry about commanding posture.

I didn’t make it halfway to the pub before I heard the tromp of boots and a call behind me. “Hey!”

I let myself smile, but wiped it off my face before I turned.

“Come with us,” the guard said. “The armsmaster will hear from you.”

I needed to get close to Kustav. I needed to give him a compelling reason to go check on his treasures in that secret armory. Maybe he’d even retrieve the daggers for me and make them easier to steal. Either way, if he went down there, I needed him to be carrying my spell, so I could learn the way.

I patted my pocket, with the enchanted letter from “Baelur.” The real purpose of it was to carry my spell.

I’d heard Lord Kustav didn’t have much magic—that his magic was all smoke and mirrors to prop up his power—but I still deactivated my charm spell. I’d have to depend on my own charisma to be safe in case he was searching for active spells. The one on the letter would lie dormant for now.

The guards led me through winding corridors, their boots echoing off stone walls. Finally, we arrived at a heavy wooden door. One of them rapped sharply, and a gruff voice barked, “Enter!”

I stepped into a cluttered office, where brightly-cleaned weapons and filthy cups adorned every available surface.

Behind a massive oak desk sat Armsmaster Dugan, a bear of a man with a shock of gray hair and a scar bisecting his left eyebrow. His piercing eyes fixed on me, assessing.

“So,” he rumbled, leaning back in his creaking chair, “you claim to have information about Lord Baelur’s…involvement in Lord Kustav’s affairs.”

I squared my shoulders, adopting the demeanor of a nervous peasant. “Yes, sir. I heard things while working in his castle. That Lord Baelur was sending spies to infiltrate the castle.”

Dugan’s eyes narrowed. “And what made you decide to share these…things…with us?”

“I want money,” I said bluntly. “Lord Baelur’s a cruel lord. I might as well gamble on Lord Kustav’s kindness.”

I swallowed hard, letting my hand shake slightly as I reached into my pocket. “I found this letter, sir. I can’t read much, but I could pick out bits about Lord Baelur’s plans…”

I placed the enchanted letter on his desk. Dugan snatched it up, his eyes scanning the contents. His bushy eyebrows rose, then furrowed.

He looked up sharply. “Do you know any of the spies who supposedly infiltrated the castle?”

I shook my head. “Sorry, sir.”

Dugan stood, his imposing frame looming over the desk. “You’ve done well to bring this to our attention.” He reached into a drawer and pulled out a small pouch, tossing it to me. The coins inside clinked satisfyingly.

I clutched the pouch, forcing more enthusiasm into my voice than was ever natural for me. “Thank you, sir!”

Dugan nodded, already distracted by the letter he was unfolding. “You may go. Guards, see him out.”

As the guards ushered me from the room, I caught a glimpse of Dugan striding purposefully toward an inner door, the letter clutched in his meaty fist.

The bait was set, and now all I had to do was wait for Kustav to take it.

As we wound through the dimly lit corridors, the guards’ footsteps suddenly fell out of sync. Before I could react, rough hands seized my shoulders, shoving me violently to the side. I stumbled, my arms flailing as I tried to regain my balance.

The breath rushed out of me as I slammed into the rough stone wall. The coarse surface scraped against my cheek until a warm trickle of blood ran down my face.

Every instinct screamed at me to fight back, to unleash the magic simmering just beneath my skin. But I forced it down.

They spun me around, pinning me against the wall.

The larger guard, a brute with a crooked nose and small, angry eyes, leaned in close. His breath reeked as he snarled, “You filthy traitor!”

I blinked, feigning confusion and fear. “I don’t understand?—”

The second guard, leaner with a more thoughtful expression, frowned. “Hold on,” he said, studying my face. “I don’t recall seeing him in Lord Baelur’s castle.”

The first guard paused, glancing at his companion. “As if you remember every peasant face that scurries through those halls?”

“True enough,” the second guard conceded with a shrug. “They do all look alike after a while.”

So, Baelur really had spies in Kustav’s castle. Maybe he even really was sabotaging Kustav.

How inconvenient.

I could’ve killed them. But I had the chance to find my way out of this while Kustav fretted over the letter, without anyone realizing I was the most dangerous person in this castle.

“Maybe he just came with a bullshit story for the reward,” the second guard said. “Or maybe there’s more traitors, rebelling against Lord Baelur and the gods themselves. We need to know.”

I was so tired of the fools who thought that nobles had magic because they were blessed by the gods. If the gods were real, they wouldn’t have granted their power to people like Baelur, who had looked bored as he had my parents hung.

“There’s only one way to find out,” the first guard agreed. His eyes glinted at me evilly. “And it’s going to hurt.”