Page 20 of Heart of Fire (Royal Ice Dragons #3)

DARE

I was walking back toward Hanna, replaying the conversation in my mind, trying to think of how I could’ve prevented Greia’s spiral. Was it possible I could’ve preserved my friendship with her—and kept her from despising Hanna—if I had just said and done the right things?

Replaying the moment when I’d stopped Greia, my stomach clenched. Hanna could easily think I was speaking to both of them when I tried to end Greia’s tantrum. And when Greia ran off, I’d chased after her and left Hanna behind.

I broke into a run, desperate to get back to Hanna.

I’d wanted to be sure to end things with Greia and to protect Hanna. But she might very well think I’d gone to choose Greia.

There was truth from the past, after all, in Greia’s dark predictions about our future together. Hanna was too perceptive. She would’ve realized that it was real.

I used to think Hanna was thick-skinned to the point of stupidity, unwilling to let in any suggestion that she was less than perfect. But I knew now her light-hearted glibness was a shield. I could hurt her feelings, and she hadn’t hidden that after she came out of the mine. She’d chosen to be vulnerable with me.

Given how stupid I could be, I wasn’t sure she’d find me worthy of her continued honesty. The thought tore something open in my chest.

I wanted her to feel safe with me.

She wasn’t outside the pub. Not that I should’ve expected her to be standing there waiting for me like a little doll.

I burst inside; the party was still going, although the music felt like noise. Faces turned toward me, but I was only looking for her. Everyone else was a blur.

I turned and raced for the cottage.

When I burst in the door, she was undressing for bed. Relief washed through me at the sight of her slender, muscular body, her proud posture, her freckled shoulders—everything I recognized no matter what face she wore.

She whirled toward me, her dagger in her hand.

Her ready posture softened as she registered me. “Try not to be so dramatic, Dare. I’m already tense.”

She relaxed, but she didn’t put the dagger down. She was wearing just underwear and a soft, lacy bralette that hugged the small swell of her breasts. She turned her back to me so she could roll the bra over her head. The faint knobs of her spine moved alongside her flexing muscles as she pulled on her sleep shirt. Well, it was her shirt now, but it had once been mine.

I liked the way she looked in my clothes. It sent a thrill through me: mine , mine , mine .

I hesitated. I’d expected her to be furious at me after Greia mocked her, knowing I had stood by and listened, and that she might be angry thinking I’d chosen Greia. But she was cool as ever, and it made me feel unmoored.

Was this some game of hers I didn’t understand yet?

“I didn’t kill her,” I said, because that last promise I’d made to Greia—a terrible thing to say to someone who had once been a friend—rang in my ears. But I would choose Hanna’s life over hers—over anyone’s.

There was a part of me that, given the desperate, dangerous look in Greia’s eyes, wished I had cut her throat right there.

Hanna turned back to me, a perplexed frown dimpling her brow. “Of course you didn’t kill her, you ridiculous man.”

She threw the bra at me.

I caught it against my chest. It was still warm from her skin and smelled faintly of her, all sweetness and smoke. It took effort for me to let go of it and throw it back at her. “Are you angry?”

“Right now, I’m relieved you haven’t murdered anyone. Not that I was worried about that before you burst in here like a madman.”

I leaned against the door, crossing my arms over my chest. It was the furthest I could get away from her.

Had she thought I might’ve run off to win back Greia and she simply…hadn’t cared?

Or was she so sure of me? Did she think I was as much the puppy following at her heels as Thorne?

Thorne would be quite the snarling murder-puppy, but still.

“Are you curious what Greia and I talked about?”

“I assumed you two agreed that I’m a spoiled princess, but perhaps you told her I have my winning points?”

“Damn it, Hanna!” I took a step forward, and she gave me a look that suggested I was losing my mind.

“Dare,” she said, her voice harder now, as if she were dropping her playful pretense. Thank fuck. Sometimes her light-heartedness made me feel as if I wanted to shake her, to make her drop the facade. “I think there’s truth in what Greia said, isn’t there?”

“You are pretty spoiled.”

“What she said about you,” she said, refusing to be baited. “You have to choose between two worlds, don’t you?”

Before I could answer, she went on, her voice soft with sympathy. “That must be so painful. I should’ve known, given your past, that a part of you would long to come home.”

I felt so seen that something ached in my chest. I hated it.

“You’re not jealous of Greia?”

She shook her head. “She seems to care for you very much. How could I hate someone who cares about you?”

Fucking gods. I felt jealous for her all the time, but she didn’t feel jealous even when the girl I’d fucked was standing right in front of her. Something hot and wicked began to prickle at my soul.

She frowned. “I didn’t realize you dreamt of a future away from Kaelan. But it makes sense. They treat you like his shadow at court, but here, everyone treats you like a hero.”

The words hung between us.

Did she want me to stay here? Was she fine with me running back to Greia?

After everything she’d said, did I mean so fucking little to her?

* * *

HANNA

“Do you want me to go back to Greia?” Dare demanded, his voice harsh.

He was closed-off in every way; his arms crossed over that powerful chest, his eyes shuttered and dark in the dim light.

I’d been trying to be tender with him, to understand his past and how that had shaped the future he dreamt of. Of course he needed a place for himself that wasn’t all wrapped up in the Royals. No wonder he had called me princess over and over and pushed me away.

“No,” I said, trying to find a last bit of tenderness for him when he was rapidly boiling away all my softer emotions. Why the hell was he mad at me?

“Then what do you want?” he demanded, as if I had personally attacked him by being…understanding.

I would never understand this man, and maybe it was stupid of me to try. “I want you to be happy, Dare. Whatever that means for you.”

His brows arched. “Even if my happiness means I come back here after our war is won? If I spend my life working the land and marry Greia?”

“I’m not going to walk to the temple in front of her, throwing coins and roses to the crowd.” I’d done that for Honor’s weddings. “But I wouldn’t tie you to a bed to make you mine, either. If that’s what’s best for you…I will wish you well.”

His cheeks flushed. I hadn’t ever seen Dare flush like that before, his high cheekbones suddenly tinged with angry color. His lips pressed tightly together as if he were carefully choosing his next words, and the pause went on painfully long.

“Why are you mad at me?” I demanded. “I’m telling you to do what you want! You’re free.”

“I’m free to fuck whoever I want?”

His crass words had lit an answering burn for me, and I could feel that my face was hot. Embarrassingly so.

“Haven’t you always?” Given the stories Greia had been trying to tell me, it seemed she and Dare had always had an understanding that he was going to fuck his way across the Ice Kingdom.

She’d been trying to hurt my feelings, though, and I never felt anything but annoyed when people were trying to do so. That had been one of the positive effects of growing up in a girls’ boarding school where someone was always trying to hurt my feelings.

“Gods damn it, Hanna,” he said, his jaw set.

“What do you want?”

“For you to be jealous!” he burst out, his fury surprising both of us. “I burn with jealousy. Every time Kaelan touches you, every time he looks at you like…” He couldn’t even go on, the thought seeming to choke him. “And to see Thorne and Kaelan together?—”

He was stumbling on, barely seeming to be able to string his furious thoughts together. “And you aren’t even jealous of the girl who thought she’d be my wife—when I have to know Kaelan and Thorne are both fucking you, that you’re happy between them?—”

“Are you jealous of the fucking or angry about the happiness?” I tilted my head to one side. Dare was always cool; it was strange to see this side of him.

“Happiness doesn’t last long in the Ice Kingdom.” He spoke so certainly, condescendingly, as if I were a na?ve, stupid little girl, to whom he was illuminating basic facts.

He was infuriating! “What is your problem? There’s nothing standing in your way but you!”

“Everything stands in my way! Greia is right—do you think Kaelan would ever let me have you?”

“We are not Kaelan’s to command.”

He scoffed. “ Everyone is Kaelan’s to command.”

“No. He loves me, and he loves you, Dare. He would be lost without you and Thorne.” My voice softened. “He’d welcome you just as he welcomed Thorne.”

Emotion flared in his eyes—maybe hope—but then it was gone. “How do you know?”

“Everyone might be Kaelan’s to command.” A mischievous smile curved my lips. “But Kaelan is mine.”

He scoffed. “You think too highly of yourself.”

I opened my mouth to respond. We were back in familiar territory, with him insulting me.

But then he was across the room in a few quick strides, and my comeback vanished as his lips met mine.

His kiss was scorching hot; his hands tangled in my hair, full of need. He kissed me like he couldn’t breathe until his lips were on mine.

He pulled away, his forehead resting against mine. “Let Kaelan murder me. I don’t give a fuck. I just want you.”

Then he was kissing me.

Dare’s hands roamed my body with desperate hunger, his touch setting my body on fire. He palmed my breasts, stroked over my hips, groaned against my lips as if he had to touch me to know I was real.

Anger shifted into passion—the passion that suddenly felt as if it were always hidden under the sharpness between us—as I gasped into his mouth.

He branded me with his lips, leaving a trail of fire along my jawline and down my neck. I arched into him, craving more of his touch, more of his searing kisses.

His fingers tangled in my hair, the sensation sending shivers down my spine. Our bodies pressed together urgently, his need hard against my own.

My hands found their way to his shirt, fingers fumbling with the buttons. The room seemed to disappear around us, the only sound was our ragged breathing, desperate but synchronized.

As he lifted me effortlessly, I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him closer as if to erase any distance between us.

My hands tightened on his shoulders, and I pushed back slightly. We were moving so fast, and it was hard to regain my sense of self when my mind was blurred with lust and desire and love.

I wanted him so badly, but he had been shouting at me just moments ago. It was perverse for him to insult me one moment and then, the next, for him to kiss me as if I were his entire world.

“What’s wrong?” He paused, his lips barely a breath away from mine, and his green eyes searched my face. His chest rose and fell rapidly as if he were also surfacing from some fevered dream.

“I don’t want to do this if you don’t love me, Dare. If you don’t want me…completely.” I couldn’t quite form the words to tell him that I didn’t just want his body—although I very much did at the moment.

I needed his heart.

His jaw was tight, but it was the sudden remorse in his eyes that told me that he wasn’t going to confess his love. I pulled back, feeling suddenly bone-cold without his body against mine.

“Hanna…” he said quietly. Helplessly.

“It’s all right.” I cupped his face with my palm, feeling a sudden wave of pain on his behalf, an ache alongside it.

His parents’ death, his position in Kaelan’s court, his years of loneliness and striving and constant danger…those things had twisted him in ways that were totally understandable.

I hoped he could be the man I needed.

But I wasn’t going to hate him if he couldn’t.

If I had to let him go.