Page 25 of Heart of Chaos (Chaosborn #1)

Chapter twenty-five

Eisa

“What?” I gawked, feeling Idunn leap excitedly in my mind.

“Shifting,” Arik repeated, perching on the edge of the bed. “Better to test it now instead of before an audience.”

“Explain to me how this isn’t in front of an audience?”

Arik huffed and stretched his tender back. “I don’t count.”

I scoffed, crossing my arms over my chest as he watched me, his elbows bent over his knees expectantly. “I can’t just…just…”

“You can,” he interrupted. “Idunn knows what to do.”

“Is there even room in here?” I gestured to the cavern, which was probably large enough for Baldur, but who knew how large Idunn would be.

“There’s a reason they give these rooms to the white dragons,” Arik replied. “Stop stalling.”

I stared at him helplessly, feeling Idunn’s excitement prickle along my skin. What do I do? I asked her, turning my back to Arik so I wouldn’t have to meet his eyes.

Just let me out, she replied.

Oh, so simple.

I felt Idunn frown. You are uncertain. Why?

Because I don’t understand what you mean. How do I let you out?

“Eisa.” Arik’s voice was gentle beside my ear, and I nearly jumped at his proximity, having not heard him move from his place on the bed.

He chuckled and caught me by the shoulders, pressing my back to his chest as he placed a large hand over my heart.

“What are you—“

“Feel her here,” Arik said, pressing his jaw to my temple. “Like a ball of heat sitting over your heart. Do you feel her?”

“No,” I snapped.

“Take a breath and try,” he insisted. “The first time is the hardest. Feel her here, and then release her.”

“My clothes—“

“Will tear,” Arik confirmed, his breath hot on the side of my face. “But I doubt you want to do this for the first time in the nude.”

He was right, and nothing I wore was precious aside from the necklace. I thought the chain was probably long enough that it would fit around the narrowest part of Idunn’s neck, but…

“Hold on,” I insisted, unclasping the chain and pulling the necklace from its resting place over my stomach. Arik frowned as I turned and lifted on my toes to place the chain around his neck. “Hold this for me.”

He dipped his head, eyeing the tiny gem and cupping it in his huge palm. I wondered if it heated for him as it did for me. “Where did you get this?”

“From Sigrid,” I replied, stepping away from him. “Now I’m ready.”

He nodded, letting the gem fall to his own chest. “Let her go, Eisa.”

I breathed out, turning my attention to the warmth in the center of my chest that was Idunn. Are you ready?

Of course, she replied. Don’t be afraid, drageling. You will be safe with me.

I nodded, swallowing once as I pictured myself releasing the heated ball into the rest of my body.

For a second, there was nothing but heat and pain as I felt Idunn come roaring out of me. When Arik had shifted, it had been a strange stretching of flesh. This felt like an explosion as the dragon burst into being, tucking me safely into her own consciousness as we switched places in the world.

Suddenly I was rising, and I heard Arik whoop as Idunn let out a roar of blue flame that seared the ceiling.

Gods, this is terrifying, I whimpered, feeling the body around me move without my willing it to. Idunn?

I am here, drageling , she replied, her voice all around me for a change, rather than within me. It was like she encircled me completely in this form. Rather than living in a pocket of my mind, I was inside hers.

Idunn tested her new body, flexing her claws and her giant wings, which were almost as wide as the cavern. She flicked her tail and licked her fangs experimentally, and I somehow felt both everything and nothing.

This will take some getting used to, I said shakily, testing the limits of my own movement. I could see everything in Idunn’s head and through her eyes, but could move nothing. I was trapped in her head, and panic gripped me.

Breathe, Baldur commanded. His voice was much farther away than usual, and I wondered if it was because he was still inside Arik’s head. She is panicking, Idunn.

I am here, Idunn crooned, turning her attention back inward and wrapping herself around me in a comforting embrace. Nothing will hurt you in here. You are mine.

I felt the truth of her words, and I tried to relax. It was hard to do without a body, especially as Idunn’s kept moving as she tried to examine all angles of herself.

Flying will be harder, Idunn mused, stretching out a long foreclaw to admire her scales. They were a deep, azure blue, like the hottest flame or the center of the Rift itself, and they shimmered slightly as she moved. You will have to trust me completely.

It’s not that I don’t trust you, I argued, trying to orient myself. Can you lift your right leg?

Idunn obliged. Like this?

Okay, so if I want us to move in a particular way, I have to ask.

Or you could just let me steer us, drawled Idunn, dropping her leg and swishing her tail irritably. It is rather nice to have a form.

“Having fun?”

Idunn swung her head down to examine Arik, who looked so small in comparison to the massive body I now inhabited. He was grinning up at me, his arms folded casually as he leaned against the wall of the cavern and watched Idunn preen.

Not exactly, I replied, thinking the reply into Arik’s mind. Keeping the connections between us separate was becoming easier as I focused on only his mind at the other end of the silver arc. I feel trapped.

Idunn let out a purring growl as she lowered her head to the ground in front of Arik.

“That’s normal.” He nodded as he reached out a hand to Idunn’s snout. “Fucking gods, you’re gorgeous, aren’t you?”

The dragon preened, batting her huge, scaly eyelids at the reirleder.

And vain, I replied, trying and failing to frown. I projected the image to Idunn’s mind instead, and she snorted dismissively . I think she wants you to scratch her eye ridges .

Arik huffed a laugh, reaching out a hand to stroke her scaly head, and I felt the scratch through my entire being.

Idunn purred in appreciation. Good human .

He is not a pet for you, Baldur broke in, clearly annoyed with how much Idunn was enjoying Arik’s attention.

You will have your turn, Kj?re, Idunn rumbled suggestively.

This is going to be so awkward, I groaned, earning a laugh from both dragons.

Let her change back now, Baldur suggested.

Idunn huffed sadly, but obliged, shrinking herself back inside of me. This process was far easier than letting her out, and I felt like I was both shrinking and expanding as teeth and claws and tail were replaced by pale human flesh and our minds changed places, the river of blue settling back into place.

Arik caught me as I stumbled, laughing. “Well done.”

“Gods,” I gasped, feeling unsteady. I was trembling, suddenly cold after being embraced by the warmth of the dragon, and Arik rubbed my arms with his hands.

“Are you alright? You’re shaking.”

I nodded, feeling tremors wrack my whole body. “Just cold.”

Arik swore as something warm dripped from my nose.

“That shouldn’t still be fucking happening,” he growled, wiping the blood away gently with his bare hand.

“Sorry,” I murmured, feeling rather lightheaded.

“Don’t apologize.” He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his heat. “The first time is the worst,” he murmured, speaking into the top of my head. “I’ve got you.”

I didn’t reply, both embarrassed and relieved to be in his arms. The trickle of blood stopped quickly, but Idunn was restless because of it. I wasn’t sure I much enjoyed being a dragon.

Now you know how I feel about being a human, Idunn snorted, nuzzling into me and offering what comfort she could from inside my head. Why are you bleeding? Baldur says that shouldn’t happen.

I’m sick, I said, not sure a dragon who had been composed entirely of energy could understand that concept. Something is wrong with my blood.

Idunn narrowed her eyes in my mind. How do I kill it?

I laughed. You don’t, dear one. You learn to live with it.

“Eisa.” Arik’s gentle request forced me to look up at him, and I suddenly realized that I was completely naked beneath the fur blanket. I stilled and felt his arms tighten around me. “Better?”

I nodded, feeling embarrassed that I was still sick and weak. Not strong, like Sigrid had hoped. “Better. Thank you.” I tried to pull away, but Arik caught me and held me fast.

“Hey.” He tilted my chin up to make me meet his gaze. “Don’t think like that for even a second. Surviving the Rifting and the transition took an enormous amount of strength. We’ll figure the rest out.”

I couldn’t even be annoyed that he’d heard me, either from Baldur or my own ineptitude in directing my thoughts. His words and his patience and the nearness of his body had coaxed something to life in me, his scent of leather and smoke making Idunn purr and writhe in my mind.

The overwhelming urge to lift up onto my toes and kiss him—to beg for it, like he’d suggested I would—hit me like a physical blow.

Eisa, he growled, his eyes darkening as he spoke into my mind. His voice was a soft caress over that silver bridge between us. You need to stop.

Stop what? My voice was breathy and needy in a way I’d never heard it before.

Whatever thoughts you’re pushing out to Idunn and Baldur. He pulled me flush against him, and I felt the evidence of his desire for me—Baldur’s need to consummate the bond.

It’s Idunn, I lied, biting my lower lip. Not me.

Sure it is. He leaned down, moving slowly as if he feared scaring me away, and pressed his lips to the place below my ear where my jaw met my neck. You can stop me at any time.

The sensation of his beard contrasted with the soft warmth of his mouth, and I felt that warmth zip down my spine, peaking my nipples and heating my core. His hand found my lower back and flattened against the furs as the other cupped the back of my neck. He pressed me tightly against him, and I felt him in every nerve ending as Idunn purred loudly in my mind.

We don’t have time for this right now, he murmured against my neck. My hands flattened against his chest, and I could swear I felt the steady thump of his heart pulsing in my core. Not for what I want to do to you. Not for me to bed you properly the way Baldur and Idunn want or the way you deserve.

I didn’t ask you to. But gods, I wanted it, my resistance melting away beneath the press of his lips as he moved them down my neck.

And he damned well knew it.

His hand slipped beneath the furs to cup my rear, and a moan escaped my lips unbidden. He chuckled, and I cursed my traitorous body for giving me away. I didn’t really understand the power this man had over me, but in that moment, I didn’t care as I melted into him.

I forgot that I didn’t really know him or that I resented having to tie myself to him or that I was completely without experience. I just wanted .

When you beg me, he said, the thought accompanying the press of his lips to my collarbone, it won’t be because of what your dragon wants.

“You’re an ass,” I hissed, my breathing rapid. “I don’t even like you.”

He silenced my protest with a kiss to my lips. It was too brief, and he pulled away before I could properly settle into it. Idunn whined in frustration in my mind, and it took most of my concentration to stifle the sound from escaping me.

“I believe we’ve already established that you like me just fine, Kj?re.” He smirked as if he knew exactly how Idunn felt about his teasing, brushing my bottom lip with the pad of his thumb. “And just so you know, that still wasn’t a proper kiss.”

I felt a stab of disappointment when he released me and stepped back, the cavern suddenly cold again. I quickly adjusted the furs back around myself, my cheeks blazing red as he removed Sigrid’s chain from around his neck, all business once again.

“This was from Sigrid?” he asked, studying the gem before looping it back over my head. He trailed his hand down the chain until it arrived at the tiny gem over my navel, and I felt the heat of his hand through my furs all the way down my body.

“Yes,” I replied, my throat feeling rather dry. “A family heirloom.”

“Hmm.”

“What is it?” I asked, frowning down at the tiny pinprick of glowing blue.

“Nothing, he replied, shaking his head. I frowned, certain that he knew something he wasn’t telling me. “But I don’t think it will fit around Idunn’s neck. You should leave it here.”

“Sigrid gave it to me for luck,” I protested, closing my hand around the gem.

“If the chain snaps in the Odemark, you’ll lose it,” Arik warned. “Are you willing to risk it?”

I could swear I felt the gem pulse in protest as I sighed and removed the chain from my neck and placed it carefully on the small table next to the bed. “No. I suppose I’m not.”