Page 20 of Heart of Chaos (Chaosborn #1)

Chapter twenty

Eisa

I awoke on fire.

My skin felt too hot and tight as something wrestled and writhed inside me, a frantic river crashing against the walls of my mind and trying to get out.

Idunn.

The feeling made me dizzy, and I gagged as I reached for the water in the glass next to the bed.

“Easy,” Arik said, dropping down beside me. He lifted my chin and carefully poured water into my mouth, supporting my back with a steady arm. “You need to drink.”

“Too hot.” I thrashed as soon as I’d taken a sip, trying to get the heavy furs off me. It registered that I was naked under them, but I didn’t care. My skin was so sensitive, every inch of it felt new and tender, like I’d shed my old skin and regrown a new one entirely. Arik’s arms around me burned, and I writhed as I tried to throw the furs off me.

I need him, came a voice inside my head, ancient and warm and familiar. Yearning. It’s been so long.

I don’t understand, I replied as Arik tried to keep me covered. What do you need?

“Eisa, stop. You’ll hurt yourself.”

“You’re hurting me,” I snarled back, my voice not my own. Everything was brighter and sharper as I looked at the world, the colors more vivid and the lines and curves more exact. Arik raised a perfect brow at me, and something in me wanted.

Gods, why was he so attractive?

Arik stifled a laugh. “That’s the dragon talking, Kj?re.”

I frowned, confused. Had I said that out loud?

“I can hear you in my head.” Arik pointed to his skull. He looked pale, with deep purple shadows under his eyes, his hair more unkempt than usual. “Don’t ask me how, yet. I’m not entirely sure how you’re doing it.”

“I need—” I whined, not sure how to voice the burning desire that was coursing through me seemingly out of control. Stop that, Idunn.

Why? She sounded genuinely confused. I feel you want him just as much. You keep thinking about that kiss.

Arik’s cheeks were tinged with pink, and I cursed. Stop projecting our thoughts.

I’m not. You are. You must learn control.

“Eisa, your body is still healing,” Arik said gently, pressing a hand to my brow. He hissed, withdrawing it as if I’d burned him. “Fucking gods, you’re burning up.”

“I need ice,” I whined, trying to squirm against his body. His scent was so much stronger than it had been before the Rifting, and something about it curled inside me, filling up places I hadn’t realized were so empty for so long.

“I’ll get you some.” He dropped me back onto the bed and smothered the brazier in the middle of the room, opening his door to let cold air sweep in.

“Arik.” I hated the whining note in my voice, sure I should be embarrassed but too hot and needy to care. “Please.”

“I know you’re hot,” he said impatiently, as if I were a small child he had to keep scolding to behave. “I’ll bring you ice.”

“No.” I threw off the furs, letting the icy wind caress my skin as I drew my hands over my bare breasts.

“Eisa,” Arik growled, his voice suddenly husky. He stepped back, his jaw clenched tight as a bolt of pleasure shot through my body, blessedly dulling the aching heat. Arik swore as I slid my hands down over my waist. Yes, this was what I wanted. Not ice. Touch.

His touch .

“Please,” I begged, arching my body up for more cold air. I ran my other hand over my stomach, shuddering as I dragged it lower.

“Eisa,” he repeated, his pupils blown wide as he growled. “You’re in heat. It will pass.”

“I don’t want it to pass,” I insisted, Idunn’s voice weaving with my own as I arched upwards.

Stop this, Idunn, came Baldur’s voice. He sounded strained, as if it was taking a great deal of effort for him to give the command. She’s not ready.

But I am , she insisted. She is willing.

“Fucking hells.” Arik growled, storming into the bathroom. I moved to my knees, planning to follow, but he returned momentarily with a length of linen bandage. “This is for your own good.”

I frowned, not protesting as he tied one end of the bandage against my bare ankle, the other end around the stone base of the bed.

“Is this a game?” I asked, my voice taking on a purring quality I had never heard in it before. Something in the back of my mind screamed at me that what I was feeling wasn’t real, but I brushed it aside like an annoying fly.

It felt very real as Arik grabbed me by the shoulders. “Do not leave this room. I’ll be back in five minutes. Three, if you’re lucky.”

I tried to lunge for his mouth, but he evaded me, running for the door to the hallway beyond.

I stood to run after him, tripping as the bandage snagged and I went crashing down to the floor. I howled in fury, scrabbling at the knot around my ankle.

He had left me. Left me when I needed him.

By the time I’d finally worked the knot free, he had returned, stark naked and arms full of snow. He dropped it in a heaping pile on top of me as I writhed in fury.

The ice sizzled against my overheated skin, and suddenly the world shifted back into stark, horrifying focus.

Oh my gods.

“I told you,” Arik panted, crouching before my snow pile to hide his body from me. I might have been imagining it, but I could have sworn he was extremely erect.

My face flushed with a different kind of heat as I dropped it into my palms. “Don’t look at me.”

He laughed, the sound more free than I had ever heard come from him. “Feeling better?”

“That was Idunn,” I insisted, refusing to lift my face. I could hear his smile, but seeing him laugh at me would be my undoing.

It was you as well, drageling, she purred, sounding annoyed that I had come to my senses. You can’t hide from me. I know you want to claim him too.

Stop that! I snapped, feeling her curl seductively around my mind . This arrangement won’t work if you keep throwing me at men.

Not men. A man. Him.

I threw my hands up in exasperation, and Arik laughed again. He seemed relieved, rather than embarrassed. “It happens to all of us during heat. Sometimes the dragons are fully in control and we have no idea.”

I swallowed, burrowing into the snow, which had already begun to melt into wet slush around me.

“Eisa,” Arik said. “Look at me.”

I risked a glance, and his face was soft. Serious, but gentle. “I’m sorry.”

“For what? I’m the one who…” I couldn’t finish, covering my face again.

He gently pried my hands away, my skin no longer red and burning to the touch. “I didn’t prepare you for this. Mated pairs don’t usually talk about it publicly. For obvious reasons,” he added in a grumble.

“Will that happen again?” I asked. “What did you call it?”

Arik’s cheeks went slightly pink again. “Heat. And yes. But next time will be different.”

“How?” I asked.

Arik pursed his lips, but it was Idunn who answered. Because next time you will be ready.

“How will it be different?” I pushed.

“Eisa, let’s not—”

“I just threw myself at you and had no control over it.”

Arik sighed. “I promised not to touch you until you asked,” he said, standing and holding out a hand to me. I didn’t have time to take in his impressive body, other than noting he had also calmed down significantly. He pulled one of the furs off the bed and covered me. “And the first time I do, it will be because you want it, not because our dragons are needy and uncontrollable. You’ll master control with time.”

I flushed, feeling oddly rejected and vulnerable and suddenly bone tired. This was the longest I’d been awake in days, and I’d proceeded to touch myself in front of a man who had spent most of our acquaintance infuriating me.

“And if I don’t ask again?”

Arik caught me as I swayed on my feet, tucking me back into his bed before I could protest. He was smirking, and the sight incensed me. True, I’d nearly taken advantage of him , but I was clearly not in control. There was no reason to tease me about it.

“You will,” he said smugly. “If today is any indicator, you’ll beg .”

“You’re an ass,” I snapped as Idunn laughed delightedly in my head. Is this really the first impression you wanted to make on me, dearest?

You have seen my soul, she reasoned, yawning so widely her jaw cracked in my mind. I winced at the sound. You chose me as I chose you. This is my second impression.

I scowled, and Arik raised a brow at me. “Arguing? Baldur does it all the time.”

I do not, he replied haughtily.

I blinked.

“Did you hear that too?” Arik asked, seeing my expression.

“Yes.” I frowned, irritation temporarily forgotten. “Is that normal?”

Arik sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He looked exhausted. “Nothing about you is normal.”

Rude , Idunn remarked.

I silently agreed, reaching for the water glass Arik had abandoned when I’d tried to combust. He wordlessly took it and held it up so I could drink.

“You need to rest,” he said, frowning down at me. “You were sick going into the Rifting, and it’s taking your body longer to adjust than most. But the fact that you’ve experienced heat means the transition is over. You’re going to live, Eisa.”

I swallowed. I would live. But what would that life look like, bonded to a man like Arik?

Delicious, Idunn suggested.

You need a cold bath.

She pouted, curling into a corner of my mind. Your mate has taken excellent care of us. You should do the same. He looks tired.

“When did you last sleep?” I asked, looking up as Arik refilled the water glass from a pitcher on the bedside table.

He shrugged. “Not sure.”

Three days ago, he took a twenty minute nap, Baldur answered, his voice in both of our heads.

Traitor, Arik growled at him.

Baldur somehow shrugged inaudibly, and I laughed. “This is so strange.”

Arik gave me the refilled water glass and returned to the bathroom. He emerged dressed in loose linen trousers, his chest tattoos on full display and feet still bare.

“No point in ruining more good clothes,” he grumbled, seeing my expression as he slumped into the chair that had been pulled up next to the bed. “Go to sleep, Eisa. We’ll figure everything out another day.”

He can’t sleep unless he’s next to you, Baldur said, in a voice that I somehow knew only I could hear. It’s a mating thing .

I scrunched my nose. Really?

“Stop that,” Arik ordered, sitting back up and scowling at me. “I know he’s talking to you. We need to establish some ground rules about when you can speak to Baldur privately. It hardly seems fair.”

I laughed, which turned into a yawn as I settled back into the pillows. I shivered a little, the sweat from the fever chilling my overheated skin.

“There’s only one bed in here,” I complained, burrowing under one of the furs.

“Apologies,” Arik drawled. “Would you like me to procure another?”

“No, I—” I cut myself off, wondering why I was about to do what I was about to do. Arik looked down at me with a raised brow. “Baldur says you can’t sleep unless you’re next to me.”

He rolled his eyes. “Traitorous lizard.”

“Is it true?”

“No.”

Yes, Baldur countered emphatically.

“Fine,” Arik growled, “yes. But I’ll be fine.”

I rolled my eyes and moved over a few inches. The bed was large enough for four people to spread out quite comfortably, and it wasn’t like I was going to let him hold me or anything.

“Get in.”

“You just suggested you didn’t want me to touch you.”

“I don’t,” I snapped. “There will be no touching. Do you want to sleep or not?”

“I’m going to fucking kill that dragon,” Arik grumbled, climbing into the bed next to me. “I mean it, Baldur. Boots. You’d make an excellent pair of boots.”

Thank you, Baldur said quietly to me as Arik settled beside me, his arms folded over his chest like some long interred knight. There were a good six inches of space between us, but a traitorous little voice in my head—probably Idunn’s—wished it were less.

I turned on my side and faced away from him to give us the semblance of privacy.

“Good night,” I murmured.

But Arik didn’t reply. I turned back to face him and found him already asleep, his long, fair lashes brushing his cheeks as his chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm.

He’s still too far away, Idunn groused sleepily.

I didn’t bother telling her that something traitorous in me agreed.