Page 30 of Healer (The Outlander Book Club… in Space! #4)
Heaven.
Pretty much what I expected. The absence of pain felt almost euphoric as I opened my eyes to the eternal expanse above, squinting them shut against the burning brightness.
Okay, it was a little brighter than I expected.
Weren’t the Seraphim supposed to be so bright that it was hard to look upon them? I must be in the presence of angels. I felt perfectly at peace, save for one regret.
Hakkar.
I wish we’d had more time together. I longed for more moments to cherish, to etch into my memory and hold for eternity.
I could almost feel his presence beside me, comforting and reassuring.
A surge of love filled me as I thought of him deserving a spot in the afterlife, surrounded by all the beauty and peace it held.
Surely, the angels and saints would welcome someone as wonderful as Hakkar.
Unwilling to have the Seraphim burn my retinas, I kept my eyes shut, and stretched. My body felt as perfect as it had when I’d stepped out of the Garoot Healer the first time, except no telltale stiffness existed in my joints.
No more ALS.
Heaven was the bomb!
I released a sigh of contentment, noticing the faint aseptic scent in the air. I’d always imagined Heaven smelling like the most perfect flower, but it wasn’t like I based my opinion on anything concrete. Maybe the heavenly scent of Lysol differed little from Earth’s.
My eyes flew open as a weight shifted beside me. In all my dreams of Heaven, the one thing I’d never imagined was having to share a bed upon arrival. Yet the warmth of another being lying next to me, their breath gently stirring the hair on my neck, overwhelmed my senses.
My eyes shot open, this time staying that way.
The piercing brightness caused tears to well, and I blinked rapidly to clear my vision.
As the sensitivity faded, my surroundings slowly came into focus.
It appeared like the quintessential set from every science fiction show I’d ever watched, with sterile white walls and gleaming metallic equipment.
I lay on a bed near the center of the room.
The white blanket covering me felt impossibly soft, like laying under warm, freshly fallen snow.
Shifting slightly, I glimpsed the being curled protectively at my side.
Not a Seraphim, but an angel just the same. .. Hakkar.
So... not dead yet.
If we weren’t in heaven, then where were we?
A low, distant hum caught my attention, sounding like the faint whirr of an engine. Had we finally arrived aboard the Bardaga? And if we were on the Bardaga….
I concentrated on my body. Each finger and toe clenching and unclenching as I focused on the sensation, searching for any sign that ALS still held me in its grasp.
My body felt strong and whole, without even a hint of stiffness or pain.
I felt younger, too. My hands no longer bore the age spots and wrinkles that returned after that bastard Ulkommanian injected me.
I ran my fingers through my hair, lifting a strand to inspect it.
The color had returned to the rich blend of brown and blonde from my youth.
Hakkar healed me, then ran me through the young-again machine. Not upset about that.
Gingerly, not wanting to wake him, I shifted onto my side.
His handsome face held signs of exhaustion in the deep shadows that lay under his eyes.
He dressed differently, in silky loose-fitting slacks and a tunic rather than the leather he’d worn on the planet.
Unable to keep from touching him, I ran a gentle finger along the frown line between his brows, easing the furrow, and let my lips graze the tip of his nose with a butterfly kiss.
He stirred, smiling in his sleep, and my heart squeezed with the adorableness of it.
God, I loved him.
Before Hakkar, I never thought feeling such intense emotion for someone was possible for me. Because of ALS, I’d built walls, guarding my heart and never letting anyone get too close. I’d even kept my ex-husband Dereck at arm’s length. A wise decision, but still not what one wants from a marriage.
Somehow Hakkar shattered those walls. He treated me with such tenderness and care as if I were the most precious thing in the world.
Hakkar protected me from self-doubt and insecurities and showed me love when I couldn’t find it within myself.
He’d swept me off my feet and showed me what it truly meant to love and be loved unconditionally.
That he was the most gorgeous example of maleness I’d ever seen was simply a bonus.
I couldn’t stop my gaze from roaming lazily over his body, enjoying the view.
A lock of his dark brown hair lay over his forehead, and the tips of the Nike-like swooshes that adorned his shoulders were visible at the top of his shoulders.
The muscles, muscles, and more muscles, not to mention what else, lay hidden under his tunic.
“Like what you see?”
I jerked from my below-the-belt perusal to find dancing golden eyes and a broad smile.
“Hakkar!” I flung myself at him, nearly rolling us off the bed. I couldn’t get my arms around him or my lips on his fast enough.
The hunger in his kiss consumed me, as if he had been starving for my touch. His arms felt like a vise, pulling me closer. Every inch of my body felt alive with the heat and intensity of his embrace, a sensation I never wanted to end.
“I take it you are feeling better,” Hakkar chuckled between trailing soft kisses over my face.
“Thanks to you,” I began, but hesitated, wanting to be sure. “You cured me? Right?”
“Yes.” Hakkar smiled, but his golden eyes dimmed, which worried me.
“What is it?”
Thankfully, he didn’t feign obtuseness. His arms relaxed, settling me against his chest while he studied my expression.
“What’s the last thing you remember?”
Strangely, I found it a hard question to answer. Everything seemed fuzzy from the moment I woke up trapped in the cage... but there were flashes. Buring flashes of horrid pain, fear, confusion, and Hakkar... his touch and his words soothing me through the agony and flames.
“The last thing I remember clearly is you bursting in to rescue me.” I kissed his cheek. “My hero.” I sobered, my mind recalling moments through the haze. “I remember that gray bastard gave me a shot of something, and it turned me old again.”
Hakkar heaved a sigh, drawing my head to rest on his chest. His hands soothed up and down my spine as he told me what I blessedly didn’t recall in much detail.
How the Ulkommanian bastard gave me a concoction.
.. part of their research to see if the effects of the Garoot Healer on humans could be reversed.
Not only did the drug return me to my aged state, but the ALS symptoms manifested with a vengeance.
Hakkar suffered moments where he feared I might die before he could get me to the Bardaga and healed.
“How long was I…?” I had no concept of time.
“It took a couple of your Earth days before we could get you into the healer.”
Somehow, I felt like more time had passed than that.
“How long was I in the healer?”
“Ten days,” Hakkar said with a frown, as though reliving the worry he’d faced. “Because your symptoms had advanced so severely, it was difficult extracting the disease from your DNA. It proved a tedious process, but by using the healer, we managed to remove every cell of disease from your body.”
Relief washed over me like a wave crashing onto the shore.
Tears sprang to my eyes, but I didn’t try to hold them back—these were tears of joy and gratitude.
Hakkar’s brawny arms wrapped around me, pulling me close as he gently wiped away the wetness from my cheeks with tender touches and loving kisses.
“I am sorry, my Aggie.” He apologized with such regret that I tensed for what came next. “We had no choice but to use the healer’s full capabilities to rewrite your genetic code, the side effect being that your body is youthful again.”
That’s it?
A high-pitched laugh barked from my lips as I leaned back to look at him.
“I’m sure you like me better this way,” I teased. Who wouldn’t? Hell, I liked myself better this way.
Hakkar grumbled, taking my face between his palms, eyes like twin suns. “No matter the color of your hair or the wrinkles on your skin, your strength, and spirit never wavered. You are the bravest, most wonderful female I’ve ever known.”
“I love you. I love you so much,” I whispered just before Hakkar pressed his lips to mine.
He pulled me close, his lips pressing against mine with fierce passion.
Our tongues tangled together in a slow and sensual dance.
As his hands roamed over my body, sending shivers of pleasure through me, soft moans escaped from my parted lips.
Every touch and kiss ignited a fire on my skin, reiterating the joy that I was alive and finally well.
“My mate,” Hakkar said gruffly as he released my lips.
Hearing the word sent a thrill through me. “Vienda told me about your mating ritual... about how dangerous it is. But I... I want to try. I want to be with you… be your mate.” I admitted, watching his golden eyes widen as I spoke.
One patient I’d never forget was five-year-old Clayton Wesley.
He’d come in with his younger brother Noah, who suffered from an overabundance of dried beans stuffed up his nose.
In all my years as a physician, I’d never seen anyone look as sheepish as Clayton, when admitting to being the mastermind of his brother’s dilemma.
Until now.
“What?” I pressed.
“You are my mate,” Hakkar admitted, a broad smile curving his lips despite the hesitancy in his eyes.
My head swam with questions. Yes, we loved each other, and yes, we wanted a future together, but....
“I thought... Vienda said it was this whole ritual.”
“It can be, but for most, what triggers the valakana is when a Vaktaire claims his mate aloud in front of others.”