Page 24 of Headstrong Cowboy (Montana’s Rodeo Cowboys #2)

R yder stirred awake and he took a moment to figure out what had disturbed his slumber. A whisper of fabric. The sound of a zipper being done up. The soft sigh of regret.

He registered them all and knew what was happening. “Chrissy?”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Ryder reached over and switched the lamp on, blinking at the harshness of the light after being asleep.

When his vision settled down, he saw Chrissy standing at the end of the bed, her hair mussed up and the faint shadow of color on her neck where he’d sucked her tender flesh.

“You were going to leave without saying goodbye?”

She came over to the bed and sat down on it, her hand resting on his chest. He placed his own over it, not wanting her to leave. He’d wanted to wake her up with kisses in the morning. Maybe have a leisurely shower together before climbing back into bed and spending the day there.

“I didn’t want to, but you looked so peaceful, and I need to get home. I’m competing in a few hours and I don’t have anything here because...” She shrugged, and he didn’t need her to finish what she was going to say.

Them ending up in bed hadn’t been planned. In the back of his mind, he’d known she’d needed to compete, but once he had her in his arms, all that mattered to him was her.

Did she regret sleeping with him?

Is that why she was creeping out at three in the morning?

He didn’t want to ask because he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know the answer to the question. He had no regrets, but if she did, he wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

“Let me drive you home.” He tossed the covers back.

“You don’t have to.”

Ryder grabbed his briefs and pulled them on. “How else are you going to get home? I picked you up.”

“Oh, yeah, you did.” Her gaze slipped away from him, and he didn’t like the way she wouldn’t look at him. The worry that she was regretting what they’d done burrowed deeper inside him. Or was it really because tomorrow was an important day for her?

Chrissy didn’t think he was trying to sabotage her efforts by keeping her up most of the night, did she?

It was not even close to why he wanted to keep her nearby.

It was because she meant so much to him.

It would be better for her to stay with him and sleep instead of going back to her place.

She would be more rested if she stayed, but as Chrissy had stated—she didn’t have what she needed.

He finished getting ready in silence, and they made their way down to the lobby so the valet could get his car.

It wasn’t quite the walk of shame and there wasn’t anyone around to see them, but that didn’t stop Chrissy from glancing around, as if she expected people to jump out at her and judge her for what she’d done.

Ryder wanted to comfort her. To pull her close and tell her that it didn’t matter what other people thought.

All that mattered was what they thought.

They’d been on the road for about ten minutes when the silence got to him. “Talk to me, Chrissy. What’s going on?” He took a deep breath and asked the question he swore to himself he wouldn’t. “Do you regret what we did?”

“What? No! Why? Do you?”

Ryder pulled over, wanting to be able to look at her while having this conversation.

Once he was safely parked on the shoulder, he turned and grabbed her hands where they rested on her lap.

“No. I have zero regrets about what happened between us. It was the most amazing time in my life. I’ve never felt so connected to someone like I feel when I’m with you.

So, I ask again... do you have regrets? ”

He didn’t know how long she’d been divorced. Whether she’d been with anyone since or if he was the first man she’d slept with. It didn’t matter to him, but if he was, he could understand why she could be overwhelmed by it all.

“No. It’s just—” she paused and he waited her out.

He would wait for however long it took for her to say what she needed.

“I’ve only ever been with one man—Beau. When I woke up beside you, I freaked out a little bit.

It’s true that I need to prepare for the rodeo, but if I’d stayed, I still could’ve gotten up and done what I needed to do to be back in town in time for the parade before all the action starts. ”

Ryder didn’t know if he liked his suspicions being confirmed or not, but at least he knew that he hadn’t done anything to offend her. “I think it’s very normal for you to have a moment’s pause about what we did. You didn’t do anything wrong either. It’s okay to move on with your life.”

“I know. And I get to move on, but Beau doesn’t.”

“Why?” Her response confused him.

“Because Beau is dead, and he’ll never get to know what it’s like to experience being with someone other than me.” Her eyes glistened with unshed tears, and Ryder was extremely glad that he wasn’t still driving.

“Oh Chrissy, I’m so sorry.”

She waved off his sympathy with a loud sniff. “Thank you. I really am over Beau. I fell out of love with him years ago, and we stayed together because it was habit. We should’ve ended it long before we did.”

With every passing conversation, there was more and more he was learning about Chrissy and her past. “It may have been a while, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt,” he told her.

“Grief is something that is always there. When you think you’ve conquered it, or at least pushed it aside, it comes back and hits you.

Whether it’s seeing a photo. Hearing a song.

Smelling something you associate with that particular person.

The feeling of loss brings you to your knees. ”

“Like the sound of gates springing open at a rodeo?”

“Yes.” Her insight was spot on. In a few hours, when he was sitting in the stands watching her and all the other competitors, the loss of his career was going to hit him hard.

But for her, he’d push through it, when he knew that the second the first person rode out during the opening ceremony, he was going to want to get as far away from the fairgrounds as possible.

“If it’s too much, you don’t have to be there. I do understand.”

He couldn’t believe they were sitting on the shoulder of the road leading out of Marietta at four in the morning, having this discussion.

A discussion they could’ve had at any time.

But then it wouldn’t have the same meaning as it did now.

The timing wasn’t right until this moment.

“I know, but I want to be there—for you.”

“Ryder.” His name was a whisper on her lips, but it pierced his soul. No one had ever said his name the way she did right then.

He leaned forward and she met him halfway, their kiss soft and sweet and meaningful. He could’ve deepened it, but he didn’t. He needed to get her home. “Thank you for sharing that with me,” he said, as he rested his forehead against hers.

“You make it easy to talk about.”

“When it’s with the right person, communication is effortless.” He bussed her cheek. “Come on. Let’s get you home.”

He didn’t let go of her hand as he drove her the rest of the way to the flower farm. As he pulled into the driveway, he was struck by the thought that soon he could be doing this on a regular basis. That this could soon be his home.

Tell her!

The voice inside his head demanded he say something, but Ryder ignored it.

Too much was happening for her over the next couple of days.

When the rodeo was finished, he would tell her.

He wasn’t going to do anything that would affect her concentration and cause her to get hurt.

He would never be able to live with himself if he was to blame for anything happening to her.

He walked her to the door, but before he let her go inside, he pulled her into a hug. “I had a good time tonight, and I wish I didn’t have to let you go.”

Her arms tightened around him and he felt her sigh as much as if he’d sighed himself. “I feel the same.” They stood there for a few moments, enjoying holding each other. “I had a good time too,” she whispered and kissed him.

His body lit with desire and it took everything he had not to drag her to his truck and drive them back to the hotel, but he didn’t. He dropped his arms and stepped back. “Sleep well, and I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“Are you sure you still want to come? It’s okay if you don’t.”

Ryder loved the way she was still giving him an out. An out that, a couple of weeks ago, he would’ve taken. Now, though, he couldn’t wait to be there and cheer her on—no matter how difficult it was going to be for him. “I’ll be there. Night, little flower.”

“Night.”

He waited until the door had closed behind her before he stepped off the back porch.

The lure of the workshop pulled at him and he couldn’t help himself.

.. he made his way over to the structure.

He knew he shouldn’t go to it. He had no right.

Not to mention, it might be locked, but the closer he got, he thought he heard the soft strains of music playing and a sliver of light beneath the door.

Was that old saying true that if you play music to plants, they grow better?

Was there a sound system in the greenhouses that played 24/7?

In the couple of times he’d been in the buildings, he couldn’t recall hearing anything playing in the background, but that didn’t mean that at night they didn’t have it going.

Twisting the door handle, he paused before pulling it open.

He really was trespassing, but he was intrigued by the music.

Chrissy had said that they were able to patch the leaks and that a new irrigation system would be installed in a couple of weeks.

He’d wanted to tell her not to waste her money, but the words, like always, had remained locked down.