Page 79 of He Should Be Mine

And that has to be worth all the risk. Love is worth everything. I have always believed that.

I roll over onto my side and curl up into a ball. The night sky looms on the other side of the window. Glowing dully with all the city lights.

I hated growing up in the ass-end of nowhere. But I think I miss the stars. I bet Dario misses them too. He grew up somewhere pretty by the sea.

Dario.

His name beats through me. Pulsing as rhythmically as my heart.

Dario. Dario. Dario.

Would he come with me? That’s what I truly want. More than anything. But since when do I get what I want? That has never happened. Besides, I doubt Dario likes me that much. He is hardly going to give up his life and his world to go on the run with me.

He is loyal to the Ajellos. Thoroughly embedded in the mafia way of life. It is his whole identity. It is who he is.Down to the core. He’d be lost without it. Lost and in danger and I cannot bear the thought of that.

He is better off here. I am better off gone.

Not that he will understand that. He will try to stop me. With the very best of intentions.

He won’t want me to be hunted down. He will think it is safer to stay. But that’s because he can’t see how dangerous Rick is. Probably because Rick never looks at him like he is a piece of meat. Or something to dissect. Dario has never been choked by Rick and seen the look on his face that showed he was curious to see what happens if he didn’t stop.

No. Dario doesn’t understand. So I cannot tell him I’m leaving.

I need to slip away silently in the middle of the night without even a goodbye. And fuck does the thought of that ache. Deep enough to feel in my bones.

Fuck. There really is no other way.

I turn over and stare at my bedroom door. The fairy lights don’t quite reach it, and the white gloss is gray in the shadows. It looks ominous. Almost as if it is mocking me.

It’s the middle of the night right now.It teases.But you are not brave enough. You are all talk and no action.

I glare at the stupid door. I am brave enough. Aren’t I? I will not stay like a meek little mouse and wait for Rick to decide when to murder me.

That would be truly pathetic. Especially as my death could come very soon. Quite possibly on his next visit. His wife is going to drug him again and my coughing act will not work forever. I might be able to drag it out for another week or two, but no longer than that.

There is no point in keeping a whore that you can’t use.

I really can’t win. He’ll get mad about me being sick. Mad that he can’t get it up. Or just plain old tired of me. Or simply decide to strangle me to death for funsies.

I have to go. Right now. Tonight. Before I lose my nerve. I need to run and run and never look back.

I stare at the door, and I don’t move a muscle. I’m not even sure if my lungs are moving. Everything is dark, silent and still.

Shit.

What if I am not brave enough?

Chapter twenty-two

Dario

The early morning light is weak and gray. Rain is lashing against the windows and running down the glass in pretty patterns. Summer in London. It almost makes me glad I’m stuck in here.

I raise the coffee cup to my lips and take a sip. It’s good, but I think Molly now makes better coffee than I do. It’s a shame he is still asleep. This cup I’ve made for myself is not bad, but I think in the future, I’m going to leave the coffee making to him.

I chuckle softly as I take another sip. I’ll head a crime organization, he can make the coffee. It’s as good a division of labor as any.

My laugh dies on my lips. It is a good division of labor. If we ever get that far.