Page 5 of Havoc

Not that I admit any of that to Reagan. “Yoga gives me something to do.”

“Well, if you’re bored, you could take me up on my offer to come to the compound and use the gym there. Tempe, Luna, and I practice self-defense at least once a week. We’d love for you to join us.”

I’m sure Reagan is exaggerating about Tempe and Luna’s mutual excitement over me crashing their sessions when I barely know the other girls, but I appreciate her attempt at bringing me into her circle of friends. The few times I’ve met them, they’ve been as welcoming as Reagan.

Tempe is Steel’s old lady, and her younger brother goes to school with Bea. Luna is Ghost’s old lady, and she’s been around a few times when he’s dropped by to adjust surveillance cameras.

They’re friendly and they don’t ask too many questions. If I were planning to stick around long enough to make friends, they’d be a good fit for the role. At least, if they hadn’t tied their lives to bikers and everything I’m hell-bent on getting away from.

“I appreciate the offer, but I’m not going to the compound.”

Reagan frowns. “The Twisted Kings compound is nothing like the Iron Sinners compound, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“It’s not.”

At least, not exactly. I understand they are different clubs, but all bikers are cut from the same cloth. They’re ruthless, selfish. And even if it’s not intentional, their world drags anyone associated with them down.

Something I know a little about, considering my past with Levi Colson. A man I hoped I’d never see here because that would mean he actually left this world behind him.

No such luck.

As I faced him at the bottom of the staircase, embodying everything he once swore he never would, my heart sank to my stomach. The military did nothing but drive him back to the club that’s always meant more than anything to him.

I should have expected it since life does nothing but bring disappointment. But nothing dulled the sting of seeing him in a cut. A representation of everything that went wrong between us. I could barely look at him wearing that thing. Which is why I quickly turned and walked away.

I really wish a naive, childish part of me didn’t wish he had chased after me that day.

Instead, he left for LA with the Vice President of his club, and he’s been gone ever since. Avoiding me just like I’m avoiding him.

What did I expect?

I disappeared, and he didn’t bother to look for me. Why would he chase me down now?

“I think it’s better if I keep my space from the club for the time being. I’ll be gone as soon as I take care of a few things.”

“And you’re still not going to tell me what thosethingsare?” Reagan hitches an eyebrow.

“It’s nothing you need to worry about.”

Her frown tells me that won’t happen. But the less Reagan knows, the better. If she realizes I’m planning to go head-to-head with the Iron Sinners, she’ll try to talk me out of it. Or worse, she’ll tell her husband and let the club ruin my plans.

“I’m here if you change your mind.” Reagan reaches for me.

It takes me a moment to remember I should probably squeeze her hand back. Or that I should probably fake a smile. I should offer something reassuring or, at the very least, friendly. I’ve forgotten what it means to act like someone’s friend after a decade of constant movement.

Finally, I squeeze her hand, and her shoulders relax.

It’s not Reagan’s fault I’m broken, even if she married into the life that put me in chains.

Reagan’s expression warms. “I mean it.”

“And I appreciate it.” The words shouldn’t feel like a lie, but I wish she’d stop caring.

That the club would stop coming by to check on me. That everyone would go back to forgetting I exist. I don’t need anyone to worry about me but myself.

“Dropping off groceries isn’t the only reason I’m here.” Reagan’s nose scrunches. “Havoc is back from LA today and said he was going to stop by, so I thought I should be the one to warn you.”

“Consider me warned.” I try my best to sound like I don’t care.