Page 45

Willow

As I descended the stairs, I found two small, wheeled suitcases by the front door. One I recognised as my own. Confused, I headed into the kitchen.

Jack was making the dog’s breakfast. Darwin sat patiently, whilst Dickens bounced by Jack, trying to snatch the bowl.

Clearly used to it, Jack ignored him. When he turned, Dickens snapped into a seated position, fully aware that was the only way he would actually get his food.

When he realised I’d entered the room, he froze like he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t, then continued his routine.

“Morning,” I called out, moving around Jack to reach the kettle to make a morning cup of tea.

“Morning,” he grumbled. His cool tone caught me by surprise, but I shoved it to the back of my mind.

“What’re you up to today?” I attempted to make conversation, despite his frostiness.

“You.” I snapped my head to him. He was packing a holdall with blankets, dog toys, and a box of biscuits. It took a moment for him to realise the implication of his words, where a blush crept over his cheeks. “I mean, we’re going somewhere today. This weekend actually.”

“We’re going on a trip?” I squealed.

Heat radiated through the mug between my hands. Jack smiled as realisation hit me.

“We are.” He planted his hands on either side of the holdall on the island. “We’re going to visit my parents in Scotland for a few days, if that’s okay? I thought you might fancy a bit of a break after the last few weeks. An escape from reality.”

I was nodding profusely before I could find the words, which made a smile pull at one side of Jack’s mouth. Well, that’s attractive. I finally found my voice, clearing my throat.

“A whole weekend in the middle of Scotland? Count me in. I’ll go pack. When do we leave?” I started to move out of the room when Jack stopped in my tracks .

“No need. Elle packed for you when she was here the other day.” That explained the bags in the hall. “We’re leaving in an hour.” I smiled, heading upstairs with my cup of tea to get ready.

An hour later, we were on the road. The dogs in the back of the car were snoozing in their beds, and our bags were stacked in the boot.

I was settled in the passenger seat as Jack focused on hitting the motorway and setting us on the path for Scotland.

A veil of unusual silence covered us, and we were barely out of Newcastle.

I wasn’t sure why there was distance between us considering we’d had such a great few days.

Anxiety bled through my mind. There had been countless occasions where Cain would enter into a multi-day silent treatment for something I’d said or a facial expression I’d subconsciously pulled.

I didn’t hold Jack as someone who’d manipulate me like that, but after years of a predictable cycle, it was hard to shun it aside.

Jack wasn’t Cain, I couldn’t tarnish him with the same brush, especially after the kindness he’d offered.

I stared out the window, watching the trees pass quickly as we sped up the motorway.

“Is everything okay?” I muttered, the idea of calling out silent treatment feeling alien.

“Hm?”

“Have I done something wrong?” In my peripheral, his face snapped to mine.

“No, of course not.” His voice was full of surprise. “What would make you think that?”

“You’re quiet. If I’ve done something to cause that, please can you let me know so I can fix it?”

“No— ” he started in haste, before calming his voice.

“You’ve done absolutely nothing.” He sighed.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t get much sleep. You’ve done nothing wrong.

” His hand slipped from the steering wheel as he continued to focus on the road, and I was surprised when his hand covered mine in my lap.

“It’s hard to change a mindset where silence was used as a punishment to exert control to someone just wanting to be quiet.” His hand squeezed mine.

“I’m sorry I didn’t think about it like that,” he replied, quietly admonishing himself.

“I know. I guess… I need to learn that not everyone is trying to send me into a fight or flight and are battling their own things in their own way.”

“I think the only thing my body is battling is sleep,” he mused with a sheepish smile.

“Maybe a little Scottish air will help? ”

His small smile broke into a grin that made butterflies take flight in my belly. I focused on his little mannerisms, like his blinding smile, and the more I focused, the more I found I liked what I saw.

“Abso-fucking-lutely.” He withdrew his hand from mine, returning it to the steering wheel as he overtook a car. For a split second, I considered reaching for his hand and returning it to my lap, but that was out of line. Jack wasn’t mine to cling onto, no matter how much I was starting to want to.

I woke to the car slowing, bumping over an unpredictable road.

I couldn’t remember when I’d fallen asleep, but I realised I hadn’t napped in a car for a long time.

Cain had always deemed it my responsibility as the passenger to keep his attention going, or he’d blame an accident on me.

Equally, I’d never felt safe enough in his company to have a nap in a car or anywhere else, it was too vulnerable a position to leave myself in.

But Jack? Jack was safe, but not the boring-kind-of-safe. More like a contentment kind of safe, like lying in the garden and watching the clouds float across a blue sky. I could finally breathe around Jack.

I peeled my eyes open and saw we were driving down a gravel track, tall trees on either side.

“Hello, sleepyhead,” Jack’s velvety voice hummed. I smiled and stretched my limbs.

“Where are we?” I croaked, looking around as we entered a car park, which was mostly empty, being off-peak time for people to be walking around a woodland.

“It’s a woodland. We’ve always used this place as a halfway point. When Frannie was young, we used it to make her release some energy and nap the rest of the way, but once she got older, it was just a nice excuse to stretch my legs. Now it works for the dogs too.”

“Are you saying raising dogs and children are the same?” I joked.

“I walked right into that one,” he mumbled.

“But since you ask, yes, they are. Both need feeding, walking, and entertainment, and if you’re lucky both fill your life with endless joy.

” He reeled with fondness, with so much ease.

Instead, it made my insides ache with longing. “Shall we?” he asked, opening his door.

We started our walk with a dog each. Jack held Darwin’s lead, I held Dickens’.

Though he was the more chaotic of the two, Dickens and I had taken a liking to one another.

In my darker days, he’d rest his head on my lap or go to great lengths to pull a laugh from me, like he knew I needed it.

Meanwhile, Darwin and Jack were inseparable and were the epitome of ‘man’s best friend’ and I knew not to get between that relationship.

When Darwin wanted Jack, you were lucky to get a look in.

We walked through the woods, the dogs stopping to sniff the plants and remnants of other dogs and wildlife.

The silence was now comfortable, normality resuming.

We took in our surroundings, the sounds of the natural world.

It was nice to be where others weren’t, and I was relishing the opportunity for isolation.

Strolling over wooden boards where our shoes made a satisfying thump, the damp air brought the smells of nature and the trees offered a blanket from the winter sun, streams of yellow mottled on every surface around us.

Since there was no wind, it was uncharacteristically warm for the Scottish border.

As Dickens cocked his leg against a large fern, I took the time to enjoy the silence, the warmth on my cheeks and the smell of good British fresh air – the kind you didn’t get anywhere else.

I could hear scuffs of shoes on the gravel behind me.

Darwin was a slower walker, desperate to sniff everything he could, so I could guarantee Jack would be a few meters behind too.

We cornered tall bushes and found a large lake with a long-boarded pier, reaching the centre. The majority of the water was covered with a sheet of ice, reflecting the bright sun back into the sky. I heard the birds before I saw them. Just as Jack caught up, he started to speak.

“You might want to —”

Before he could finish, my arm jerked, and I was yanked towards the pier. I quickly realised I was plummeting towards the lake with my arm clinging to Dickens’ lead.

“ Willow !” Jack shouted from behind me, but my screams blocked him out.

I tried to dig my heels into the wooden boards, but the damp surface only caused me to skid. The rope lead stretched taut with every pull and jerk from the large dog’s effort.

“ Willow, let go !” Jack called, but my brain couldn’t compute the menial gesture of dropping something.

As the lake neared, the louder my screams and the quicker I accepted I would be thrown into icy water. Dickens prepared himself for a huge leap exactly where the ducks were.

I released a final shriek, when two large arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me back from the precipice.

The lead snapped from my hands and Dickens catapulted into the lake, a sheet of ice crashing when his body smashed into it, sending the birds flying with displeasure .

With only inches before me, I panted in shock, and it took me a moment to realise I was in Jack’s arms. Our breathing combined in clouds of hot air puffing before us.

His arms tightened around me, stepping back and pulling me with him.

When he was sure I was safe, he pulled his arms back, his hands remaining on my hips.

“Are you okay?”

His cheeks were flushed, hazel eyes bright as he looked down at me, checking me over.

“I’ve got to stop finding myself in situations that make you ask that.” I smiled, keeping my eyes from his and brushing a chunk of leaf from his coat. With his gloved fingers, he pushed my chin up and held it there until my eyes eventually landed on him

“I’ll never stop catching you when you fall, Willow. I’ll always be here.”

All the air left my lungs, I felt my defeated smile drop and eyes widen as they bounced around his face like they had so many times before. Only this time it felt like more . More monumental. More special. More everything .

Jack’s eyes zoned in on my mouth, and an all familiar electricity zapped between us and my lips tingled with longing. His fingers flexed on my hips.

Slowly, he dipped his neck, and his hands snuck around my back until I was held firmly in his arms, I stretched up on my toes, ready to meet him in the middle.

My eyes closed.

My mouth parted.

My fingers held onto his coat-covered biceps like he was my only source of life, desperate for the promise that whispered between us.

His hand cupped my cold cheek while the other clung to my back.

Like he was scared I’d bolt, his fingers held me in a vice.

Muscle memory sent sparks of fear through me, and I couldn’t blame them.

The last time fingers had pressed into my skin, they had belonged to Cain.

But I wasn’t in Cain’s arms, I was in Jack’s, and I desperately wanted to remain there.

I whimpered, searching for Jack’s lips. Warm air escaped from his, and though they weren’t touching, I knew that the second we connected, everything would change.

He had already changed the game for me in so many ways, only the snapping of our restraints stood in the way of him changing things romantically.

Just as his nose brushed mine, sprays of ice shot us apart.

I squealed, holding my arms above my head to protect myself from whatever it was that we were being attacked by.

Jack’s grunts of frustration echoed between us, and I finally peeled open my eyes, finding us a meter apart on the wooden boards. Jack was glaring down to his left, and when I followed, I found a very proud, very wet Dickens .

The sopping dog stood between us, tail wagging enthusiastically from left to right with sprays of water flying with every flourish.

His mouth was wide open, tongue lolling out to one side, with no idea he’d just ruined a monumental moment.

Dickens challenged the concept that dogs couldn’t smile.

He could, and it currently felt like he was laughing at us.

“ Dickens ! ” Jack seethed, which only seemed to heighten the dog’s glee, and I forced myself to hide my smile until Dickens prepared for another shake. There was nothing we could do to stop him but brace ourselves from more icy drops of water, we both shrieked in response.

When the spray finally stopped, I peeked from between my arms to find Dickens playfully bowing with his front legs splayed on the ground, his back sloping to his bum and tail in the air.

His face bounced between us both. Jack stomped towards him, made more prominent by the sound of his boots on the wooden boards.

When he reached the dog, Dickens darted to avoid Jack’s wrath, failing when his lead was successfully grabbed from the floor.

Crouching down until he was in Dickens’ face, Jack fumed.

“ You — ” Jack raged through closed teeth. “You are a dickhead of a dog!”

I couldn’t help the snort that escaped. I quickly covered my mouth. It was too late, because Jack’s head snapped towards me, looking over his shoulder. When he found me smothering a giggle, his face softened, and the frown disappeared. He stood and walked towards me, dog in tow.

“I should have warned you that ducks are Dickens’ kryptonite. Once he’s caught wind of them, there’s nothing that can come between him and a duck.” I smiled at his apologetic tone. “I’m sorry.”

We started to move towards the main path again.

“Don’t be. Who am I to come between the love story of a dog and his ducks?”

“I wouldn’t call it love, more a craving.” I chuckled. I knew how he felt. “Come on, let’s finish this walk and warm up in the car.”

Jack tugged Dickens along behind us, who was still keen to catch ducks. With a nudge of his elbow, Jack encouraged me to loop my arm with his. My stomach flipped as I obliged.

As we neared the path, Darwin remained where Jack had left him. He was seated, watching us like we bored him. His lead was draped on the gravel beside him.

“Why can’t you be more like him?” Jack mumbled to Dickens, who wasn’t even remotely listening. In response, Darwin let out a grumble as we reached him, as if to say, “You’re telling me.”