Page 16 of Hate Me Like You Mean It

“I know, I know, your parents’ kitchen was never this messy,” Dominic taunted as I took in the extent of the damage. There was tomato sauce dripping from the ceiling. “But since their house was bigger and fully furnished, I thought I’d level the playing field.”

I could feel him watching me, waiting for my reaction. I honestly didn’t know if it was humanly possible to clean all of this up before midnight, let alone tackle the other items on the day’s task list afterward.

Not unless there were two of me.

Clinging onto my composure like my life depended on it, I fished my headphones out of my purse, tightened my ponytail, and asked, “Where do you keep the cleaning supplies?”

Dominic’s attention lingered on my profile, but I refused to so much as blink. I would rather fall off a ladder and break my neck trying to retrieve the torn piece of lettuce trapped inside his chandelier than give him the satisfaction of an emotional reaction.

“At the store.” He pulled out his wallet and held out a black card. “You might want to grab groceries while you’re at it.” He nudged his head toward the mess. “I’m all out.”

Funny.

He turned to leave, looking rather pleased with himself. “Oh, and if you need me for anything else, I’ll be right… there.” He pointed at a security camera tucked in the far corner of the ceiling, barely visible from where I was standing. “Watching the whole thing.”

Of course he would be.Pervert.

“Noted. I’ll pick up a bottle of lotion for you while I’m at the store.”

His face flamed, indignation and disgust twisting his mouth. “That’s not wh?—”

I popped in my earbuds, effectively cutting him off. And judging by the prickling awareness creeping over the back of my neck as I sauntered further into the kitchen, he was not a fan.

6

Dear me/ journal/ god.

I have peaked. Tonight I will play the greatest prank of my whole entire life and even though I know I’ll be in so much trouble I can’t stop laughing.

Adrien, in all of his infinite wisdoms, always lets me pick out my own birthday gift because he’s too lazy to do it I think and this year I asked if I could get it a month early and he said yes and also promised he would keep it a secret.

Two words: walkie talkies.

I taped one under Loch Ness’s bed.

I’ll be back with updates.

According to the binder,there was only one grocery store in the entire city that Dominic deemed “acceptable” in terms of produce quality, and it was almost a forty-five-minute drive from his place.

I didn’t have an extra hour and a half to spare today.

I also didn’t have a car, given that I hadn’t been able to hold on to a job long enough to afford one.

But I did have a brain, a phone, and his credit card, so I downloaded the store’s delivery app instead.

Good thing, too, because Dominic had sauntered into the kitchen eight times since I’d finalized the order to request new items be added. By the fourth change, I’d messaged Amber, my assigned shopper, explaining that my boss was an eccentric recluse who was losing his mind trying to organize an orgy in which he’d be tied up like a roast suckling pig on a large dining table while a dozen middle-aged men dressed up as Mrs. Doubtfire enjoyed a massive feast around him.

I pledged a $200 tip for every adjustment made to the order as an apology.

Dominic’s full name may or may not have been mentioned.

And I may or may not have encouraged Amber to share the tea with anyone she so much as made accidental eye contact with over the next decade.

“I changed my mind about lunch,” Dominic declared just as I finished sweeping the last bit of food off the island with my arm and into a large organics bin. “I want miso honey-glazed salmon with wilted bok choy on the side. You know how to make that, right?”

“Sure,” I assured him, not bothering to rinse my arm as I moved on to the next counter. My jeans were rolled up, the drag of my loose tee was knotted in the back, and I’d opted to walk over the mess barefoot. It hadn’t helped. I was still covered head to toe in stains. “I do have one question. Whatisbok choy?”

My ignorance elated him. He suppressed a smirk, stepping over an eggshell with his freshly polished leather shoes as he made his way to the coffee machine for a refill.