Page 37 of Hard Count (Newhouse University #4)

“I don’t know what to say to him. How do you sift through years of hurt without causing more pain to each other?” I toy with a French fry before popping it in my mouth. It tastes like ash.

“Maybe you have to let it all go and start over. Wipe the slate clean. What was it like when it was just the two of you?”

I take a long sip of my ginger ale. “It’s a little awkward at first. Every time I was dropped off I had to get to know him all over again. But when it was time for me to go back to my mom’s place, I didn’t want to leave.”

“I bet he didn’t want you to leave either. ”

“We’re different people now. I don’t know how to connect with him anymore.

What if we can't get back to what we had? What if it's all too late?” I take a small bite of my burger as questions spin around in my head. It isn’t sitting in my stomach as well as I’d hoped.

I close the container and put it to the side.

“I can put that in the fridge for you. Maybe try again later,” he says, standing and walking to the kitchen. I tuck my legs against my chest and wrap my arms around them.

Nash sits beside me and lifts me onto his lap. I wrap my arms around him and lay my head on his shoulder. “I’m ruining your surprise. You went out of your way and I'm messing it up.”

“You’re not. It’s your party. You can cry if you want to,” he says choking back a laugh. I don’t know why that’s funny. I know it’s part of a song but…

“Oh god. I sang that last night didn’t I? Who told you?”

“You can thank Gage. I found it in our house group chat this morning. I never got to tell you how hot you were in my jersey. Are you going to tell me when you got it or where?”

I bite down on my lip. I don’t really want to talk about that right now either. Sighing, I say, “I may have bought it in high school.”

“Did you wear it to my high school games?”

“Oooh, are those presents?” I ask, reaching for one of the boxes he has on the coffee table. He stops me with a hand at the base of my neck and runs his nose up my jawline. “Yes,” I say, closing my eyes and savoring his touch.

“I’m sorry I missed seeing that. You can have your presents now.” He wraps his arm over my legs to hold me in place while he leans forward to get my gifts.

“I still can’t believe you did all of this for me,” I say looking around the room at all the decorations. “You didn’t have to. I never meant to guilt trip you into throwing me a birthday party.” I rub my thumb over the tattoo on my wrist.

Nash cups the side of my face in his hand. “Baby, I didn’t do this because I felt bad you didn't have birthday's growing up. I did it because I love you and I wanted to show you how important you are to me. From the first moment I saw you there was something about you that pulled me in.”

He loves me. I can't remember the last time someone's said that to me and meant it. My heart fills to the point it might explode. The cute boy I grew up watching from a distance has fallen in love with me. He stares back at me waiting for my reaction.

I need to tell him how I feel but the words are hard to put together.

Instead, I lean further into his hand and kiss the inside of his wrist. “You did not like me. You were mad at me for insulting you. But I was also mad at you because I knew you weren’t playing at your full potential. It was pissing me off.”

He smiles knowingly. He's used to my diversionary tactics when it comes to expressing my feelings. God, this man is patient. “Your brutal honesty may have hurt but it got us here. Even if you never said anything, I would have looked for you. I would have found you on campus and came up with another excuse to talk to you. I don’t know if you would’ve agreed. ”

“All you had to do was ask," I admit. "I would have said yes to anything. I didn’t want to help with football because of my dad.

But for you, I would have done anything.

" I chew on my lip, weighing the pros and cons of telling him the truth. "I want to show you something. Give me a second. I’ll be right back.” I slide off his lap and rush to my room.

Flipping through a stack of photos I have stashed in my nightstand, I find the one I’m looking for. I pilfered these from my dad one weekend when he was out of town. I didn’t want him showing Nash this photo by accident after one of our dinners.

Holding the photo close to my chest, I say, “I had a thing for you since the first time I saw you too.” I pass him the photo of my dad, Nash, and his parents when he got his offer from Newhouse.

“I have this photo in an album at my parents’ house.”

“I know. Have you ever looked at it closely?”

He shakes his head as he brings the photo closer to his face and his eyes widen. “You were there.”

Nodding, I sit on his thigh and wrap my arm around his shoulder.

“Do you see the way I’m looking at you? That's how you know someone likes you.

It's always in the eyes because they can't lie. I liked you then but I’m in love with you now. Over the last few months you taught me to believe in a lot of things again. One of them being me. But the most important thing is love. I believe in love again because I love you, Nash Pierce.”

He drops his head against my chest and wraps his arms around me, breathing me in. “I love you so much, baby. I’m going to do everything I can to make you happy.”

I cup his face in my hands. “You do it every day by existing.” I press my lips against his and let him feel all the love I have for him.

“Before we get too carried away, I do have some more gifts for you.”

“You really shouldn’t have. You’re spoiling me,” I say when he drops three packages into my lap. “I could get used to this.”

“Good.” He tightens his hold on my legs, pulling me closer to him in the process. “Open that one first.” He points to a rectangle box.

I rip into the paper and remove the lid. Inside is a stack of my favorite anime series. I flip through a few of the pages. We’ve been watching it online but it’s not the same as the manga version. “I love it. Thank you.” I kiss his cheek and put the present to the side.

“You’re welcome.” He squeezes my thigh.

“Does it matter which one I open next?” I ask, looking at two small square boxes.

“I don’t remember which one is which,” he says, making me laugh.

“This one.” I snatch the box on the left and start ripping off the paper revealing a blue velvet box. I pop open the lid and immediately get emotional seeing the small football and fox charms inside.

“It’s for your bracelet. It’s meant for charms, right?”

I nod. “It is. I got the bracelet as a Christmas gift. It was our last holiday as a family.” I take off my bracelet and add the new charms. “They said they would buy me a new charm every year but it never happened.” I added it to the pile of broken promises they left me with.

“I’m going to. Everything we do, big or small, we’ll remember it with a charm.

Open your last one.” He bites down on his lip nervously as I remove the wrapping paper from another velvet box.

I lift the lid to reveal a gold heart charm with a N and a P engraved on it.

“Since you won’t get a tattoo. Yet,” he adds with a smirk.

I add the heart charm next to the football one. “I love you but I’m not ever getting your name tattooed on my body.”

He takes the bracelet and my wrist in his hands when he sees me struggling with the clasp. “I like hearing you say that.” My skin tickles when he adjusts my bracelet so his charms are resting on the top part of my wrist.

“What? That I won’t get a tattoo?” I tease. I know exactly what he likes hearing because I like saying it.

“No. That you love me.” He scoops me off the couch and shuffles me onto his lap again.

“I got myself one too. I’ve worn this necklace everyday since I got it on my fourteenth birthday.

I thought it was cool and all my friends had one.

But now”—he fishes the chain out from under his shirt—“I’ll wear it for you. ”

Nash’s bare gold chain now has a heart charm attached to it. “You have my name on one side and yours on the other.” I flip the heart back and forth reading ‘ Drew ’ and ‘ Pierce ’ on either side.

“We can go with that if you want.” He pops a kiss between my eyebrows where they are scrunched together.

“What does it really mean?”

“It means…” He tightens his arms around me. I drop my head against his and we both look at the charm I’m holding between my fingers. “That one day Pierce will be your last name too. Should we have cake and you can make a wish?”

"I think all my wishes have already come true."