Page 22 of Hard Count (Newhouse University #4)

“We’ll have to share. I want that one too.” She takes it out of the freezer then reaches around me to grab two spoons out of a drawer. Hopping up on the counter, she makes herself comfortable.

I take one of the spoons out of her hand while she opens up the pint of ice cream. She takes the first bite and then passes the pint to me. Her knee bumps against my hip and I inch a little closer to make sure it keeps happening.

“My parents got divorced when I was fourteen. My dad is a football coach. Always has been.” Her hand covers mine as she scoops out another bite of ice cream. “My mom,” she says before swallowing, “is codependent. She needs to be needed and decided she wanted to be needed by other men.”

“And where did that leave you?” I’m afraid to hear her answer.

“Stuck in the middle but also alone. I spent a lot of time with my dad when I was younger. He brought me to all his practices and games. We were really close. This was when he coached a high school team in Tennessee. Then things started to change.”

“Is that when he came to Newhouse?” I ask.

She swings her leg nervously and I drop my hand on her thigh to offer her support. “Sorry. I’m nervous.”

“You have nothing to be nervous about.” I sit the half eaten ice cream on the counter and stand in front of her. “You can tell me anything. ”

“You say that until I’ve dumped all my childhood trauma in your lap. Then you’ll be looking for an excuse to get the hell out of here.”

“Drew,” I say laughing. “I’m not going to run. Like you said, this is all a part of you. And I like you. Kind of .”

“Right. Kind of.” The side of her mouth ticks up before falling.

“I wish I didn’t tell you that.”

“Why?” Her eyes dart to mine. “Do you regret it?”

“I regret downplaying this thing that’s happening between us,” I say, pushing her legs apart enough for me to step in between them. “I regret not telling you how I really feel.”

“You have a chance now. What would you say instead?” Her eyes drop to my lips and she leans toward me.

“I would have said that I sit in class and count down the time until I get to see you again. That I’m happiest when I’m around you.” I move in closer. “I would say that I like you more and more every day and I don’t plan on stopping for any reason. Especially not because of your past.”

Her eyes gloss over while her hands slide behind my neck and she pulls me down for a kiss.

I’m learning that she may not be good with words but she isn’t shy with her affection.

I don’t mind as she kisses me with everything she has, but I want her words too.

I want her to be comfortable with me—to trust me.

Pulling away from her lips, I take a moment to catch my breath. “Will you please tell me more about your life growing up?”

“You still want to know about that?” she asks, worrying her lip. Eventually I’ll prove to her that nothing can scare me away.

“Yes. When did you move to Florida?”

She sighs. “For college. My mom just got dumped and decided to move with me. I didn’t want her to but I also couldn’t stop her.”

“Where did you go to high school?” I take another bite of ice cream. It’s melted but it reminds me of kissing her.

“Westfield Prep.”

“No shit? We played them a few times every year. Did you go to the games?”

She scoffs. “If you have to ask that, we have a lot of work to do. You really don’t know me very well at all.”

“I know you. I’m just surprised I never saw you I guess.”

“You were a little busy being the star quarterback and dating Marci.”

“Right. Did you live with your mom or dad?” I ask.

“My mom. I don’t think my dad put up much of a fight. She also figured out how beneficial it was to put me in the middle. If she used me, she could get what she wanted from my dad.”

“How did you end up living with your mom? Doesn’t sound like she had your best interest in mind.”

“She definitely did not.” She pushes her bracelet around her wrist again.

I'll have to ask about that another time. “On paper, my dad worked long hours, traveled, and didn’t present himself as the right fit. Whereas my mom made herself look like the ideal parent. She got me and his money and he got what he wanted, too, I guess. He didn’t have to change his life and be a single dad. ”

“Damn. How did you end up at Newhouse? It must have been hard to leave your senior year.” I won’t mention the fact things got weird when it was brought up at dinner before the season started. Not that it was any less awkward when I joined them for the first celebratory dinner a few weeks ago.

Once again I was an unexpected guest. Except this time it was Coach who was taken by surprise. His shock didn’t last long. He almost seemed happy I was there. Not sure if it was because of me or—like his daughter—he wanted the buffer.

“I wouldn’t have transferred if I didn’t have to. I had a good thing going working with the football team but I ran out of money. Instead of immediately seeking out a loan, I thought I would ask my dad. He said he would pay if I transferred.”

“He wanted you here with him. That’s a good thing,” I say, pressing my palms into the side of her hips.

“Or did he see it as an opportunity to get back at my mom?” She grabs the ice cream and serves herself a bite big enough to get brain freeze. “He doesn’t do anything that doesn’t also benefit him in some way.”

If it were me, she would be the only benefit I would need. Maybe he felt the same.

“Are you sure we’re talking about the same man? He sacrifices a lot for the team. He’s the first one to show up and the last to leave. He does everything with us in mind.”

“You’re right. He is all of those things.

” She hops off the counter and slides past me.

“You should probably go. I have to catch up on some reading, finish watching the game, and write up my report so I can give it to the guys tomorrow at practice.” She tosses our dirty spoons into the sink making them clatter around until they settle against the metal surface.

“Stop,” I say, when she slams the freezer door and walks back to the living room. “Drew, please. I’m not leaving when you’re upset with me.” I wrap my arms around her from behind and press the side of my face against hers.

“I’m not upset with you. If anything, I guess I’m jealous.” I loosen my grip so she can turn in my arms. It’s almost comical that she would be jealous of me considering how I was acting over her classmates a half hour ago.

“Can you tell me why?” I ask.

“You already said it. He’s a man who sacrificed himself so the team could have everything they needed. I was the sacrifice when I should have been everything.” Her eyes pool with tears before she buries her head in my chest.

It isn’t my place to fix their relationship. I don’t know where I would even begin to try. But I’ll be damned if this girl ever goes another day feeling as if she’s less than everything. Not while I’m still breathing and she gives me the opportunity to do it.