Page 33 of Guardian’s Heart (Space Guardian’s Mate #1)

ZAAREK

Most of what I had heard wasn't new to me. Not too long ago, I had contemplated the Ohrurs taking all the credits and, never having known a retired Space Guardian, had even been okay with it . Whatever it was. Killed in action, most likely, had been my assumption. Now I wasn't so sure anymore. I tried to figure out a number. If the Ohrurs kept a thousand of us at any given point in time, let's say in the beginning, they might only have had ten or a hundred, increasing the number in their greed for credits.

To make it easier, I rounded the number to twenty thousand standard years. Let's say five hundred Space Guardians had been utilized for ten thousand years, and each of us worked for… here I drew another blank since I had no idea what the estimated life span of a Space Guardian was—whatever species I was—did we live fifty years? A hundred? A thousand? I had no idea but settled for a nice round number again, let's say a hundred.

The number I came up with baffled me: about a hundred thousand Space Guardians had lived through that time. I must have done the math wrong, so I tried a different way. I had been a Space Guardian for twenty years; there were a thousand of us around at any given time, and yet I only knew a handful, the ones I had trained with, must have grown up with. At the thought of growing up and training, my head began to hurt again, but I didn't pay it any attention. Instead, I tried to figure out that in twenty years, surely one or two of us would have retired.

So what , I concluded, it's not like we'd get together and throw a party for him . We never got together. Space Guardians worked alone. There were only a few missions heard of where more than one had worked together.

I closed my eyes and tried to push the questions and suspicions assaulting me to the side. I needed a distraction. Nova and Nock had already left the room to take care of our guests . If we worked together, I rationalized we could feed all the humans at once. I only trusted all of them together when I was around. Feeling guilty for running away from my thoughts, I followed Nova and Nock. Never in my life had I been this preoccupied with myself. Now, hundreds of questions were running through my mind, with no answers.

Nock's suggestion of going to Ohrur and breaking into one of the leader's houses to access their database entered my mind again, but I dismissed it just as when he had suggested the idea.

Still, there was an unsettling feeling in my chest telling me that Nock's suggestion was the right plan. I would keep an open mind to the idea but not act on it. For now.

Nock was also right about Possedion eventually questioning Nova's presence aboard my ship, but that was still a few weeks out. I could draw it out at least that long.

And then what ? My mind queried.

Hopefully, by then, we would have found more information.

Nova smiled sweetly at me when I entered, and that was everything that mattered to me right then.

"You okay?" she asked.

I nodded, feeling guilty for lying and even more so that everything seemed to be about me when it should be about her. She had her own demons to fight, and I vowed, we would find some time and talk about her. I needed to ask how she was dealing with having been forced to leave her home planet, a planet, from what I gathered, that hadn't had any contact with other species. She was either dealing with this like a champ or downplaying it like I was my problems. I swore tonight would be about us, about her.

"I didn't ask your opinion," Amy yelled at Lutz, interrupting my thoughts. Lutz was about to get up, but a deep growl from me made him think better of it.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, not looking sorry at all, but that wasn't my problem.

"Tomorrow morning," Nova reminded me.

Tomorrow morning, we would deliver them to the Pandraxians; they would be Lord Protector Garth's problem then. I could hardly wait for it.

Nock refilled his cup, reminding me of his presence, and suddenly I wished we could leave him on Astrionis, too. I would have loved nothing better than to be alone with Nova. I even entertained the idea for a few moments, but Nock already knew too much. If he uploaded the things he had learned so far, it would be a disaster, and I was sure he would if I left him. No, for better or worse, we had a pact with him. He would have to stay for now. Besides, he had been a decent help. As much as I disliked company, my sense of justice and honor compelled me to keep him around until we figured everything out. He seemed just as invested as Nova and me.