Page 32 of Guardian’s Heart (Space Guardian’s Mate #1)

NOVA

A comfortable routine developed over the next few days. As much as I was enjoying it, I knew it was just a short-lived dream. Soon, we would land on Astrionis, unload the other humans, and take off again. Ostensibly looking for more humans, while we worked on coming up with a plan to find out more about the mating marks and Zaarek's unknown origins.

Finding those was becoming more pressing with every passing day. We had discussed simply buying a new ship and taking off into the great unknown; there were other planets out there where we could live peacefully. But a simple question from Nock about Zaarek's species had led to Pandora’s Box and turned into a domino effect. For him, finding out where he came from led to other questions: why was he working for the Ohrur? Who were his parents? What happened to Space Guardians if they fell in love or wanted to retire? Zaarek explained to me that he didn't have any attachment per se with the other Guardians, but not only were they a brotherhood, but something deep inside of him compelled him to find out more.

"I'm sorry, Nova. I never meant for you to get entangled in this," he apologized.

I kissed his cheek and shook my head. "Are you kidding me? I'm having the time of my life." I winked at him. "I'm just as invested in this now as you."

When he still looked skeptical, I sighed. "Look, do you honestly see me sitting in a cabin in the woods, yelling at our kids while mending clothes?"

A smile curved his sensuous lips. "I wouldn't mind that. The image of you yelling at our younglings…" His grin deepened before he turned serious. "Does that mean you don't want younglings?"

His question took me by surprise. Did I?

I never thought I would, but with him…

"Let's sort this out first, big guy, then we talk about offspring." I nudged him. "Besides, I think we're missing a few steps in between."

"Like what?" He wanted to know.

"Uhm," I hated when he put me on the spot, especially this particular spot. It had been on my mind for a while now, but I had no idea how to bring it up. I wasn't old-fashioned or anything. I knew that in this day and age, a woman could ask a man to marry her or be the first to say I love you . Still, it would be kind of nice for him to take the initiative. I was learning to like my mating marks, but I still cursed them for the simple fact that they had been forced on me. Kind of like waking up one morning with a ring on your finger and a man you don't know smiling at you. Was it wrong to at least want this part the romantic way?

We had only known each other for a few weeks, normally expecting an I love you , or marriage proposal would be absolutely out of the question, but these weren't normal circumstances. After all, I did kind of wake up one morning with a ring on my finger, right?

As if reading my mind, Zaarek took my face into both of his hands. They were so large that his thumbs grazed my throat and his pinkies threaded through my hair.

He looked at me with an intensity that weakened my knees. "Nock is not the only one spying on human habits. I did some research as well," he confessed.

"You have?" I had to clear my throat before I uttered the words because suddenly it was very dry.

He nodded. His voice was so deep it inflamed my core.

"It was kind of necessary since the female I can't stop thinking about is a human."

"Can't stop thinking about?" I prodded.

"Nova, from the moment I met you, you’ve taken possession of every part of my being. You’ve invaded my thoughts, my heart, my soul—every single part of me is yours. You are the last thought that lingers in my mind before sleep pulls me away from you and the very first light that fills my world when I wake.

"You’ve woven yourself into my existence in a way I never thought possible. Your smile and laughter are everything I crave. You are my gravity, my compass, my anchor in this universe. Especially now when I don't know who or what I am. You are my one constant. You are the one who reminds me of who I am, where it matters.

"I didn’t just fall in love with you—you consumed me, completely, beautifully, until there was nothing left but the pieces of us entwined. With every word you speak, every glance you cast my way, you remind me that I’ve found the one thing I can’t, won’t, and never want to live without.

"You are not just part of my life, Nova. You are my life."

Tears gathered in my eyes, and my throat tightened even more. This was the most beautiful thing anybody had ever said to me.

A tear slipped down my cheek, and he caught it with his ring finger. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"You didn't." I smiled up at him like a love-drunk fool, which was exactly what I felt like. "Not at all, you made me happy. You make me happy."

He tilted his head as if in question, and my smile deepened. "And I love you too, my silver alien hunk."

He still looked at me as if waiting for something.

Discomfited because I had never said anything like this, I licked my lips. "I'm not good with words, but in a world where I've been left totally out of my element and adrift, it was you who showed me… uhm… you who helped me…"

He smiled. "You're right, you're really not good at this."

Before I could make a complete fool out of myself, he kissed me deeply, and with so much tenderness I nearly cried again.

"Just tell me that one day we will sit by a cabin in the woods, you mending our clothes while watching our younglings," he whispered when our lips parted.

Children?

I had no idea how to raise children. The only raising I had ever received had come from Missy, and I had been nearly an adult by then. I doubted Zaarek's occupation as a Space Guardian had prepared him much for raising children either.

You're looking for reasons to cop out , Missy's voice, which had been silent for a while, called me out on my bullshit like she always had.

Truth be told, the prospect of having kids frightened and enticed me in equal measure.

Still, there was something I really, really liked about the picture he was painting. For some reason, I didn't imagine the swamps of Louisiana for this vision but the forest on Morrakbarr, with its twisted trees.

"I'm not interrupting some bonding moment or something, am I?" Nock entered, yawning. He looked from Zaarek to me and shrugged. "My bad, come on you two lovers, we have work to do.

All three of us worked countless hours combing through any database we could enter to find answers to those questions during the next few days. Nock's simple idea of a DNA analysis had brought us right back to zero. According to the DNA banks, Zaarek was from unknown origin, same as me, but we had expected that. It was assuring, though, that according to the results, both Zaarek and I came from the same biological stock , meaning neither one of us had been grown in a lab or was a cyborg. The computer even found a gene that linked Zaarek's species with mine and Nock’s. It was so minimal, though, that we disregarded this for now. There were more important things to focus on. It was worth noting that the gene in Nock and me had been a lot more deteriorated than Zaarek's.

On my insistence, we scanned Zaarek's head just to make sure the Ohrurs hadn't implanted some kind of chip in his brain. His headaches whenever he tried to remember something were becoming more than worrisome for me.

"I don't think we're going to find anymore in these databases." Frustrated, Nock pushed the cubes away from him, where they disintegrated into nothingness until summoned again. It still amazed me how that worked.

Zaarek stared at Nock. "So what are you suggesting?"

Nock stayed quiet, sending meaningful looks at Zaarek that I didn't understand. Zaarek did, though. "Oh no, not happening." He shook his head.

"What?"

"Our streamer here thinks it would be a good idea to break into one of the four leading Ohrur's homes.”

"It's not a bad idea," I sided with Nock.

"It's a terrible idea. Do you two of any idea what kind of security surrounds those families?"

When Zaarek saw our blank expression, he explained, "Space Guardians, lots and lots of Space Guardians."

"So they have their own private army?" Nock dug for more info.

"It's part of the training," Zaarek retorted before his face fell and he rubbed his neck.

"Part of the training?" I prodded. "Do you remember something?"

He didn't look like he was in pain. "I don't know. I'm not sure. I think it's something I heard."

"Hmm." Nock gave him a sideways glance but didn't prod. "So no breaking into Ohrur mansions yet."

"Can't you contact one of the other Space Guardians?" I suggested, bringing up something Nock had proposed earlier.

"If need be." Zaarek didn't look happy about the idea, but he didn't outright refuse it as he had before. "Let's see—"

A beep interrupted us. It came from one of the endless searches we were running through the systems, announcing a find.

Nock pulled it up on his tablet. Zaarek and I crowded around him. "I queried the Ohrur history. I thought maybe something about their origins would spur a hint of yours."

Most of the information we already knew about the Ohrurs was about an oligarchy that was run by four prominent families. However, one piece of information caught our attention. Twenty thousand years ago, a disease killed nearly fifty percent of the Ohrurs. A devastating blow that could have meant the end of them. Except that during that time span, the first Space Guardians appeared on the universe's playground. In the beginning, they were used as bodyguards by the Ohrurs, but they were so effective that soon after, the Ohrurs began hiring them out.

"What kind of disease?" I wanted to know, browsing through the cubes.

"It doesn't say, other than that it was extremely contagious and deadly." Nock was also swiping through his cubes.

"That's strange," Zaarek joins us, "a disease like this wouldn't just affect one species. Especially a species like the Ohrurs who are in constant contact with others."

"We'll expand the search," Nock suggested.

I wasn't sure what an event twenty thousand years ago could have anything to do with our current situation, but if that was when the Space Guardians first appeared, it might be something worth looking into.

A galaxy slowly entered our field of vision in the viewing window. It was a breathtaking sight. First, there was nothing but black vastness, then, suddenly, a light illumination slowly grew brighter in many, many colors. The brightest was always the sun, and this galaxy was no exception as our ship flew closer.

"The Pandraxian Empire," Zaarek announced. "We'll be on Astrionis tomorrow morning. Let's feed the humans and give them the good news."

I didn't like it whenever he turned distant, but I understood that it was his way of dealing with the Ohrur situation. I didn't like the way they were exploiting him and the other Space Guardians at all; it reminded me too much of greedy corporations on Earth.

Especially one paragraph about how the Ohrurs were one of the smallest populations in the universe and yet one of the wealthiest. It was because they were pimping out men like Zaarek to the highest bidder, using them for their own financial gain. Not to mention the fact that we had found zero evidence that the Space Guardians ever received their share. I had a foreboding feeling about what happened to retired Space Guardians. We hadn't talked about it yet, but I was sure Zaarek and Nock were both thinking the same thing. The retired Space Guardians didn't just vanish into thin air.