Page 37 of Guardian’s Destiny (Space Guardian’s Mate #3)

VRAAX

Sloane was unusually quiet when we entered our quarters, and I figured it was my turn to apologize first. "Look about what happened. I'm sorry. I should have trusted you. I know you are a very capable soldier; you are brave, resourceful, and cunning. You are all the things that make you a perfect mate for me.

"I never wanted a mate. I didn't ask for this, but I'm happy that it's you."

Her gaze darkened, and I realized that I was doing a terrible job. "No, that's not what I mean. What I mean is…" I struggled for words, for clarity. "I never imagined having a mate, a home, a family—any of it. These concepts… they weren't part of my life. I never considered them as something I'd have or even want."

I risked a glance at her, and though she still wasn't speaking, she wasn't walking away either. That small mercy gave me the courage to keep going.

"So, when I fell in love with you, it caught me completely off guard. I didn't know how to deal with it. I've never cared about anyone enough to feel jealous before. But when you mentioned Daryus …" I shook my head, shame coursed through me. "Jealousy blindsided me. I wasn't prepared for it, and I handled it like an idiot. I let my anger get the better of me, and I hurt you when I should have been supporting you."

I stepped closer, my voice softening, but every word was heavy with meaning. "And most of all, Sloane, I'm sorry because you were right. I didn't consider you being on a mission. Let alone one so important it was on orders of the frygging Emperor himself. I allowed my own insecurities to cloud my judgment, and I underestimated you. That was wrong—completely wrong. It will never happen again. You deserve my respect and my trust, and I promise you'll have it."

I met her gaze fully, willing her to see the depth of my sincerity. "I can't promise I won't make mistakes in the future. But I can promise you this—I'll learn from them. I'll be better for you, for us."

Silence hung between us for a long moment. My heart pounded in the pause. All I could do now was wait and hope she could forgive me.

"I'm not innocent in this either, Vraax, and I'm sorry for that too. I should have been honest with you from the start. It's not an excuse, but being part of covert operations means not trusting anyone ever. It means working alone." She bobbed her head meaningfully at me, and I got it. I, too, had always worked alone. "You know now how top secret my assignment was. I mean, Zapharos is an Arkhevari . Most of the universe has never even heard of them, let alone believe that they exist. When I realized that your mission and mine were more closely related to each other than should be possible, I should have filled you in. You were right. You shared everything with me, and I kept a large part of my life hidden. I was mad because you didn't seem to see the soldier in me, just a woman trying to get what she wanted with any means necessary and that pissed me off. So, I'm sorry too. We'll have to do better from now on. You and I. Together, no more secrets."

"No more secrets," I repeated, pulling her into my arms as relief flooded me and the sense of how perfect she truly was for me.

"You are perfect, you know that?"

"I had my suspicions, but yeah… I'm pretty perfect." She smiled up at me.

"Sloane," I rasped.

"Shut up and kiss me," she demanded, and I gladly fulfilled it.

"Alright," she gently pushed me away, "before this goes any farther, let's talk, okay? I don't want to have another fight after sex."

She took my hand and led me to the seating arrangement in a corner. This ship wasn't very big or luxurious. No windows gave a view of space on the other side, the couch was hard, the floor scratched from too many feet, and yet, this was the best place I could ever imagine being because she was lying in my arms. My fingers trailed up and down her shoulder, and she moaned softly into me.

"Let me start from the beginning. I was a member of a highly trained, specialized army unit for several years?—"

"No," I interrupted her. She looked at me questioningly. "Start from the beginning. I don't know anything about you. Where did you grow up? Who were your parents?"

A small chuckle escaped her. "Okay. My dad was in the Marines Corps; only the best soldiers get in. Because of that, I grew up all over the place. Every three to four years, my dad would get stationed somewhere else, and we followed, or he would go on a special assignment, and we would be alone for a year.

"He was a hard man and very old-fashioned. He expected my mom and me to wait on him hand and foot. I don't think he ever forgave me for not being a boy." Her smile faltered, and I saw the pain in her eyes and kissed her forehead.

"I hated waiting on my dad, and I hated how my mom would wilt whenever he was home." She took a deep breath. "Don't get me wrong, she loved him, and he loved her, but… he had a way of sucking the life out of you, just by entering the room."

I wasn't sure what she meant, but it didn't sound good. I didn't want to interrupt her with questions either, so I just squeezed her shoulder with my fingers to encourage her.

"My mom died when I was fifteen. Massive aneurysm, the doctors said. No way anybody could have prevented that, but I knew that she had the aneurysm from always having to watch out around my dad. To keep me quiet and be quiet when he came home and needed rest, to have the food ready whenever he happened to show up for it."

A sigh moved through her. "After she was gone, it was my turn, but I had sworn I would rather die than be like her. So when I turned eighteen, I enlisted into the Marines to show him that I was more than a maid. I wanted him to be proud of me."

"Was he?" I would have been, but I imagined her dad might not have seen it that way.

"He told me I was only hired because the Marines needed women to show that they diversified. He laughed into my face and told me I wouldn't make it a year."

I wished I could have laid my hands on the male. He hadn't deserved a daughter like Sloane.

"So I joined the MARSOC, a very specialist unit of the Marines, and you want to know what the happiest day of my life was?" She paused but didn't wait for an answer. "The day he had to salute me." She snickered, and I laughed with her.

"Good for you." I praised.

"He hated it. He was so angry, his face turned bright red." She exhaled softly and shook her head. "I thought I had won, you know. But a year later, he was killed during a mission." Her eyes teared up, and she impatiently wiped at them. "Sometimes I miss the hardass. Because honestly, I don't think I would have gotten where I was if it hadn't been for him."

We fell silent for a moment. I wanted her to take her time. We had several days before we reached Rodbar 2, and I wouldn't have minded at all spending that time with her here, on the couch, listening to her talk.

"Anyway," she took a deep, slightly stuttering breath that spoke of her emotions. "Not much later, the CIA recruited me. The CIA was an agency on Earth that dealt with covert operations, spies, spied on others, collected intelligence, and so on. So that's where I worked when the Cryons invaded Earth." Her hand moved over to my knee; her touch was light and comforting.

"Do you know Xandros, the Commander of the Superior Forces, and his mate, Ashley?"

"I know of them." Not only was Commander Xandros famous for his military exploits, but he was one of the first to take a human mate, which made her, Ashley, just as famous as him. Not only for that, though, I had heard rumors about her exploits, and from all accounts, she was a very brave female.

"Ashley and I used to be friends when I was still in the Marines."

That took me by surprise. "No kidding."

"Yeah, small world, or small universe, eh?" She chortled humorlessly. "Anyway, Ashley took me to meet Emperor Daryus."

"I'm still in shock that you know him," I admitted.

Her snicker sounded a bit more amused this time. "I do, and he offered me a job."

Just when I thought I had figured her out, this female found another way to make me speechless. It wasn't that I was awed or envious of her meeting the Emperor, but the fact that this was a huge feat on its own merit, notwithstanding that her friend had invited her. The stars knew that the list of people wanting to see the emperor was endless, and not many people, no matter how high they were in favor of higher-ups, were ever granted such an opportunity.

"Your record must have highly impressed him," I wagered.

She nodded. "Yeah, I think so, because Ashley warned me that he might not want to meet me. So when he offered me Lady Madeema's vacant position?—"

"He did what?" I could hardly believe my ears. Lady Madeema had been the emperor’s eyes and ears of his empire and beyond. She had been one of the most prolific intelligence officers in the universe. Her fall from grace had been a scandal that rippled through the universe, so much so that even I had heard of it.

"He offered me the job as his Chief Intelligence Officer, yes." My little mate confirmed, leaving me speechless. As far as I was concerned, she could lead me straight through the Black Abyss, and I would follow her, no questions asked. She had my full support even before that last statement, but the Emperor wanting her as his Chief Intelligence Officer? That blew out any doubt I might have had. She was a born leader, and I would be an idiot not to allow her to lead us on this mission. She had been born for this.

She waited until I found my voice again. "You do know that this would make you one of the most powerful females in the universe, right?"

Sloane laughed, "Yes, and the most bored one at that, too."

"You're not taking the job?" I asked astonished.

She shook her head. "I haven't told him yet, but I don't think so. The last couple of weeks have shown me how much I'd miss the field work. I'd rather work with blasters than with words. It's more permanent."

She grinned at me. I was still working on digesting her words. Sloane being offered the Pandraxian Emperor's Chief Intelligence Officer position, was incredible. There was still so much more to this female than I had seen so far. I was sure I had barely scratched the surface.

She sobered. "Sitting behind that desk were the most boring weeks of my life. I was glad when he offered me another mission. One too delicate to let anybody else handle, his words, not mine." She raised her hands in defense. "I was to arrange a meeting between him and Zapharos. The Arkhevari had contacted him and said they had urgent news for him. So I set up a meeting. Which wasn't easy, you know how high profile the emperor is. And Zapharos, well you know, he stands out like a sore thumb. Nobody has ever seen anyone like him, and he wasn't about to make this easy for me by wearing a hood or anything." She shook her head, and the urge to slug the miserable bastard again rose up in my gut for the hundredth time since I had first heard his name.

"Before you ask. No, I don't know what the meeting was about. Only that the emperor was subdued after in a way I had never seen him before. I received a new assignment: to spy on the Moggadesh at the space station where we met. I found out that somehow, they got wind of Zapharos and were planning to intercept him, something I couldn't allow to happen. This is why I wanted to go to Astrionis or Pandrax so badly. I needed to warn Zapharos." Another humorless chuckle escaped her, "Something that, as it turned out, was a useless mission, since he already knew about it, like he does about everything else."