Page 19 of Guardian’s Destiny (Space Guardian’s Mate #3)

VRAAX

"Close your eyes and find your quiet spot again. Remember, nothing can hurt you there, not even a headache," she whispered behind me.

We were in bed again, me sitting leaned against her, while her legs were spread out around me. It was hard to concentrate or to keep my hands off those shapely legs. I wanted to feel them, find out if they were soft or hard from the muscles I knew resided underneath.

Her fingers massaged my neck, and I leaned back, letting my body relax just like she demanded. It felt good, too. I listened to her soft voice and began to drift. Drift, drift, drift.

"You are on Ohrur. You just sat down in the captain's chair," she brought me back to the spot where we had left off yesterday.

"Now I want you to separate yourself from your body."

What? How was I supposed to do that?

"I want you to stand off to the side. I want you to look at yourself as you sit in the chair. Can you do that?"

I tried. But every time I did, my body got up with me.

As if she understood my problem, she advised, "Take a deep breath; you are only an observer. You are not actively participating. Stand to the side and look at yourself."

This time, it worked. I stood by the large screen wall and saw myself in the chair, or better, strapped to the chair, while an Ohrur entered carrying a large helmet.

"Now I want you to watch yourself as you walk onto the bridge, not in the chair, but as you're walking in."

As if watching a holostream, I watched myself walk onto the bridge just like Sloane had demanded. My brows creased.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know. I'm walking funny. My eyes are closed." I watched on as several Ohrurs guided me to the chair. Guided might be too generous of a word, but they didn't carry me exactly; I would have been too heavy for them. Still, I was leaning on them.

"Alright, can you go backward in time? Can you see where the Ohrurs and you came from?"

There was only blackness. "It's dark. That's all I see."

"That's alright. Keep going back, Vraax, you're doing good."

"There's nothing but blackness," I told her, feeling a slight pulling in my head.

"Remember, you're only an observer, Vraax. This should not hurt your head. You are not remembering, you're only watching."

Even in my half-there, half-gone state, I realized that she was twisting words, but it seemed to work; the stirring in my head decreased.

"Is it still all black?"

"Yes."

"Keep going. Take your time. I want you to go back as far as you can until you see a light or something."

"Okay."

Blackness moved around me as much as blackness can move, but far off, I could make out a faint light. "I see something."

"Good, move toward it."

The light was becoming brighter, and orange and red hues lured me closer. I stepped into the most magnificent forest I had ever seen. My lungs filled with a fresh scent that made me dizzy. "Beautiful."

"What is?" She asked.

"The trees, the leaves are reddish, and there are purple flowers and orange ferns. The ground is red and brown, and the air," I took another inhale, "so fresh and fragrant."

"Good, keep going, Vraax. Do you see a path or something?"

Voices penetrated my mind and I followed their sound, until I saw… I saw…

"Argh," my head seemed to explode.

"Easy, Vraax, easy. Stay with me. Nothing can hurt you. These are not memories. Vraax," her voice stayed with me. Slowly, the pain receded, but it kept hovering right at the edge as if it were a predator waiting to jump.

"What do you see?"

"People," I nearly laughed. So many. There were buildings, too. Houses, and workstations. Every one of the people had silvery skin and black hair, like mine. The females wore finely woven dresses in bright colors and the males pants in deeper, darker hues.

"What are they doing?"

"Walking, talking, working," I said as I watched myself walk into the village. The familiarity of it spread an ache through me that was very different from the headaches. Just as painful, but it encompassed my entire body. The feeling of loss was so strong that it nearly took my breath away.

I heard laughter, light, and tinkling, and my head felt like it was about to explode into hundreds of thousands of shards.

"It's okay, Vraax, relax. Nothing can hurt you there." Light fingers massaged the back of my neck, but it wasn't enough. Memories assaulted me so fast I couldn't hold on to any one image. With a start, I sat up.

"What happened?" She asked me, her hands pulling on my shoulders to lean back, but I couldn't. My breaths came out uneven and panting.

"I don't know. I heard something, and I… I couldn't… I couldn't…"

"It's okay. Her legs retreated from around me, and their warmth left me and made me feel bereft. I turned and put my feet on the ground, while Sloane moved around the bed, kneeling in front of me, she placed her hands on my thighs and damn, that felt like another explosion moving through me just a different sort.

"It's okay. We learned so much today."

"We did?" I gave a dry chuckle. "I think it brought up more questions than answers."

She nodded. "It did, but we also know that the Ohrurs had contact with the Darlams before, that they betrayed you."

"We already knew that," I contradicted.

She sighed loudly, and her expression told me what she didn't put into words, yet quit being so difficult .

"I don't understand," I gave voice to the questions running through my mind before she could form her thoughts into words, "how can I have memories of a place I've never been to?"

She looked thoughtful. Her green eyes were ablaze with a fire I had only seen in them when we were sparring, when she was determined to beat me. I realized this was a challenge for her, a puzzle she wanted, needed, to figure out.

For once, not willing to give into any sexual innuendo with her kneeling between my thighs, I got up so abruptly that she nearly stumbled to the ground. Anger surged through me. I didn't want to be a puzzle for her, a challenge. Well, maybe a challenge, but not something she needed to unravel. I wanted her to want me .

"What you need is a round with the robot." She got to her feet as well.

What I need is a round in bed with you , my mind screamed at her. I was sure my eyes said as much because her pupils dilated as if… as if she wanted me too.

I narrowed my eyes at her and took a step forward. She didn't move. Her breasts heaved a little heavier as I closed in on her. My arms moved up, my right hand snaked around her neck, buried itself into her hair, my left arm snaked around her waist and pulled her forward until her stomach was flush against me, until I was sure she felt my arousal.

The black of her pupils nearly pushed all the green away until it was nothing but a small sliver, a halo, fascinating me with the way they did that. But it was her parting lips, the pink tip of a tongue running over her lips, that did me in.

"Sloane," I groaned in warning. I hoped she would understand because there was no turning back from this once my mouth conquered hers.

She regarded me with a desire matching mine, and I was ready to lose myself in her the way I had wanted since first laying eyes on her. I knew she wanted me as badly as I did her, but I felt the stiffening of her spine first; my lips were so close to hers, I felt their heat, I was so close to tasting her. But her stiffening distracted me enough to look from her lips to her eyes where I read her rejection.

"I'm as up for a good tumble as you are, Vraax," she said, still in my arms. "But I'm afraid we're more than that. If we did this now, we would both regret it."

Regret ? The only thing I regretted was letting her speak instead of sealing her lips the way my body demanded.

"Not like this. Not now," she rose to her tiptoes, and I finally got to taste her incredible lips, only to retreat after a quick peck. What the frygg?

"Right." Anger churned inside me. "Have it your way." With that, I stormed out of our quarters straight for the training room. I dared the stupid mating marks to act up. I nearly willed them to do so, but for once, they decided to stay silent.