Page 17 of Guardian’s Destiny (Space Guardian’s Mate #3)

VRAAX

The lights were dimming again, and the female still wouldn't let up. It had been a long day. Between sparring, Sloane had added more mental sessions , peppering me with questions and using her chart to locate more of my triggers .

Now she had me lay on the bed and close my eyes while she sat next to me. Her voice was low and seductive and I wasn't sure how much longer my cock would be able to keep up its perpetual hard-on state before I would lose my shit.

I tried to play nice, closed my eyes, and relaxed as she told me to, but all I could picture was her naked body writhing under mine.

"I want you to find a safe place," she said. "A place where you know nothing will hurt you."

Was she serious?

"Like what?" I mumbled.

"I told you to keep your eyes closed and quiet," she admonished.

"Well, when you say safe space , what in the frygg do you mean?"

Her inhale was long and drawn out.

"This is not going to work," I warned her.

"If you just do what I say for once, it will," she snarled.

"How am I supposed to relax when you snap at me like this?" I complained.

"Oh for fuck's sake." She rumbled, causing me to open my eyes. I was unable to stop the smirk forming on my lips at her annoyed expression.

"Alright, here's an idea. Remember the other day when I massaged your back?" She looked almost defeated when she nodded, and I realized that I would enjoy this way too much. "Why don't you sit behind me, massage my neck, and we try this again."

"This better not be some kind of ploy," she harrumphed, but moved to crawl over the bed. By all the nebulas, watching her crawl on all fours over my bed made my cock so hard, it hurt. My balls pulsed . I didn't think they had ever done that before. This was a bad idea. But so worth it .

I leaned forward and she crawled in behind me, spreading her legs and by all the starshowers, having her hot core press against my ass was like reaching the pinnacle of existence. Or at least I thought so before her gentle fingers began massaging my neck. Frygg, she might as well had had her hands on my cock, it took an extraordinary amount of willpower to stop me from coming right then in my pants.

"Okay, happy now?"

She has no idea… "Getting there."

Her voice lowered again, and because I had a feeling I could only push her buttons so far before she would erupt like a volcano, I tried my best to cooperate. I leaned back into her and closed my eyes.

"Good, now, I want you to…" please don't say safe place. Please don't say safe place , "imagine a place where you feel the most comfortable."

That was easy enough, right here, right now.

"I want you to breathe evenly, like if you were about to go to sleep. Good. At any time you feel uncomfortable, lift your hand, and I'll stop. If your head starts hurting, try to get back in your mind to that place of comfort you're imagining."

Since I was still there, that wouldn't be a problem at all. I deepened my breathing and relaxed my body just like she instructed, just as if I were lying down to go to sleep.

"I want you to take it easy now. I want you to find the very first memory that comes to your mind of yourself, without any pain."

"Hmm," that wasn't hard. "I'm at a tavern, about to terminate my first assignment."

"Who is it?"

"A Toltexian who blew up an entire spacecruiseship because a competitor paid him to. I can feel his evilness from the other side of the room."

I could even see myself walking through the tavern toward him. I was just about to tell her how the pathetic excuse of a lifeform tried to stand up at my approach, how good it had felt to see the fear in his eyes and?—

"Now I want you to slowly back up." What ?

"Go outside the tavern."

This wasn't any fun at all. But I did as she bid.

"What do you see?"

"The smokey, gray sky of Ascinmon," I told her. That planet just like the Toltexian were absolute scum.

"Okay, keep going backward. Return to your ship."

Grumbling, I did as I was told, but only because I was so frygging comfortable, I didn't think I would ever want to leave her lap.

"Is it the same ship as this?"

"It's the same type but not the same one. I crashed that one on Broc2x56."

"Okay, so you flew with that ship to this planet, though, right?"

"Yes." My voice sounded far away to my ears.

"Did your minder contact you aboard this ship with your assignment?"

"Yes."

"What were you doing before that?"

"Flying."

"From where?"

My mind felt as if it had hit a literal brick wall. There was only darkness. And voices. Many voices, like hers, whispering, but in a different language and—frygg! I convulsed as pain seared through me.

"Easy, Vraax, easy. Remember, you're safe." Her voice soothed me just as her hands applied a little bit more pressure, gently massaging my neck.

"You are on the ship."

The pain started to subside, and I breathed easier.

"Can you remember where you started flying from?"

I tried. I really did. But the pain was…

"Easy. Tell me where the pain is coming from."

"The center of my brain," I answered truthfully. "Right from the center, spreading all the way."

"Okay, you said Nova scanned you guys, and there was no implant of anything?"

"Yes. There wasn't anything."

"So this pain is psychological," she said. "It's not real, even though it feels real, alright. I want you to go to the safe place, relax there for a moment, and then I want you to go back and try to remember where you flew out from."

"Ohrur." I pressed out. I received a deep image of the planet as my ship was leaving it behind.

"You're sure?"

"Positive. I flew away from Ohrur."

"You said you never met an Ohrur in person."

Images of Ohrurs assaulted me, along with sensations of evilness, so malevolent it made my skin crawl.

"I was wrong. I met them before… I saw them… at the… the… spaceport."

Clear as day, I watched three Ohrurs leave my ship as I was sitting in the captain's chair. I couldn't move, though. There was a helmet on my head, and my arms and legs were tied down and…

I bolted free.

"Vraax?" alarm sounded in Sloane's voice.

"I'll be right back. I've got to check something." I said, jumping off the bed, leaving my safe spot behind.

I have no idea why I thought she would wait for me. She was right on my heels out in the hallway as I made my way to the bridge.

Once there, I climbed the captain's chair to check on something in the ceiling.

"Vraax? What are you doing? Talk to me." She sounded worried. I liked that.

"Just looking for something," I said, reaching up to the ceiling, which seemed perfectly fine. "Grab one of my knives and hand it to me?"

I didn't think she would, but I felt her hand by my calve as she pulled a knife from its sheath. I didn't wear all my weapons aboard the ship since it was just her and me, but I had learned that a knife sometimes came in handy, like now.

I grabbed it, barely registering that she handed it to me hilt first, a fact I appreciated, just like the fact that she knew her way around weapons. Believe it or not, a civilian would have handed it to me blade out.

I began hacking at the ceiling until I could grab a good chunk and pull it off. There was nothing there but a hollow opening.

"Aha!" I gasped out.

"Aha, what?" Sloane demanded.

"Earlier, when you asked me about my memories, I remembered sitting in this chair, well, the one from the old ship." I waved my hand, still holding the knife.

"Get down and give that to me before you hurt yourself," she chided.

I ignored her words. "A helmet was on my head." I jumped down from the chair and got on my knees, while my hands moved up and down the chair's sides, but there was nothing. "Restrains came out from here and-" I moved up to the armrest, still nothing, "here."

"You think there was some kind of helmet in the ceiling that brainwashed you?" She sounded not as skeptical as I would have in her situation.

"I do."

"Okay. That's good. That's progress."

If she thought so, then I was happy, but honestly, this just opened up a whole new cargo load of questions for me.

"Are you done, or do you want to try again?" she asked when my search of the captain's chair didn't result in anything.

I wasn't sure where her urgency came from; we didn't need to get this accomplished before we got our hands on the Ohrurs. There would be plenty of time after… unless she wasn't planning on being here. I threw a sideways glance at her, but her expression didn't give anything away. No, she gave her word, and I had given mine. As soon as the shit with Darlam was done I would take her to Astrionis. Maybe she was worried about handling the Ohrurs on her own in case things went… bad—this regression stuff. But I had seen her fight; she was more than capable… then what?

The answer came to me. "Are you worried I won't be around to fly this ship?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm trying to figure out why the sudden haste. I mean, we'll have at least a week before we reach Darlam and after we get our hands on Moddekdum."

"The thought has crossed my mind," she confessed.

Which meant, "Are you worried about my ability to handle whatever we uncover, or are you questioning your ability to get the job done right?"

"Oh, I'm gonna get the job done right," she blustered, just as I had anticipated, making me smile.

"So it's my mental state you're worried about then?"

"These things could backfire," she warned.

"So, if this is what my last chance to enjoy life is?" I dangled.

Her face scrunched up adorably in suspicion. "I'm not going to have sex with you because your brain might or might not fry."

"Just saying." I held up my hands. "I don't know about you humans, but we have certain traditions of fulfilling a dying male's last wishes."

She stopped abruptly, crossed her arms over her chest, and looked up at me in challenge, "And who would the we be in this scenario? As in you Space Guardians? As far as I know, you are solitary beings, and you don't even know what happens to you guys after a… certain age. Or as in… what species exactly?"

She got me there. I grinned. "It was worth a try." She was way too smart for me.

"Nice try," she said as she shook her head and kept walking toward our quarters.

"So is that a yes or no?"

Without turning back, she held up her middle finger in the air, giving me my answer. I chuckled. I was really, really starting to like this female.