Page 22

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

XAVIER

“Xavier! I just finished!”

As I turn away from the stack of presents I’m arranging, Lucy comes rushing into the living room, bright-eyed and beaming, and launches herself at me.

My arms open instinctively and I hug her to me, my heart swelling with joy at her exuberant expression. I press a kiss to the top of her head before replying, “That’s amazing, Luce. Congratulations.”

She tilts her head back to look at me, her cheeks flushing with pleasure as she says, “I wasn’t sure if I could. But I did it.”

“Of course you did.” Stroking a hand down the length of her hair, I let my fingers trail through the silky strands. “I always knew you would.”

“I wasn’t sure.” Her smile dims for a second. “For a while, I thought… I didn’t know if I’d be able to make the words come out anymore.”

My throat gets tight. “They were always there. You just needed to give yourself time to deal with other things first.”

After a moment’s thought, Lucy nods. “You’re right. I couldn’t see it before, when I was getting so frustrated with myself. But I think my mind was so twisted up with everything, I couldn’t separate my stories from the other… not so nice stuff.”

My stomach twists at the reminder of Lucy’s traumatic experiences, guilt threatening to worm its way in. But like my counselor said—I’ve had several sessions with her and I think they’re actually helping—“Hanging on to the guilt isn’t healthy for you or Lucy. And you’re not omnipotent, Xavier. Sometimes, things are just going to happen that you have no control over. Looking back and thinking about what-ifs isn’t helpful. It’s what you do after that’s more important.”

So I’m trying. For me and Lucy. For our future.

Will I ever fully let go of the guilt? I’m not sure. It’s hard not to blame myself when Lucy has one of her nightmares, pleading in her sleep for that piece of garbage Amberson to let me go. Or when she burst into tears after coming across a photo of her and Kali from several years ago, sobbing, “I never knew she hated me. How stupid was I?”

But she wasn’t stupid. Not even close.

As the investigation into Kali’s actions progressed, we discovered that no one knew. Not her coworkers, the other people she saw socially, or the men she’d dated. Kali kept her resentment of Lucy a secret for years, letting it fester until it finally turned her into the monster I saw last month in her apartment.

To me, that’s what she is. Not disturbed or sociopathic or narcissistic, like I’ve heard the attorneys and police refer to her as, but a monster. A truly evil woman who tricked Lucy for years, took advantage of her generosity, and betrayed her in the most horrible way.

I’ve seen evil in my decades in the Army. I’ve seen some of the most hideous crimes against innocent people. What Kali did to Lucy? It ranks right up there with the worst of them.

Thankfully, she’s going to be punished for it. Awaiting trial, Kali is facing charges of attempted murder, trafficking—from the communications Matt found between her and the presumptive buyer—and fraud, and the district attorney seems confident she’ll be found guilty on all of them.

If she isn’t?

Well. I won’t technically do anything about it.

But I know someone who will. My old teammate, Rafe, is out of the Army and now works as a bounty hunter based out of Corpus Christi. He’s one of the most honorable and loyal guys I know, but he won’t hesitate to use any methods necessary to make sure justice is served.

So I talked to him a few weeks ago about Kali and Amberson, and how important it is to me that Lucy can move forward without fear of either of them coming after her again. “If they’re in prison,” I told him, “I can deal with that. Lucy can deal with it. But if one of them goes free… I can’t have her go through that again.”

Rafe understood immediately. In a solemn tone, he said, “I’ve got your six, Xav. You need me to take care of it, let me know.” Then more lightly, he continued, “And I can’t wait to meet this woman. She must be something to get you settled down.”

She is.

Lucy is everything .

And that’s why I’m going to do my absolute best to make sure she’s happy. Safe. Supported. To make sure she knows just how loved she is.

Cupping Lucy’s cheek, I lower my lips to hers, taking them in a soft and tender kiss. I can taste a hint of the pink lemonade she was drinking in her office, a blend of cheerful sweetness that’s come to remind me of her.

Lucy clutches my shoulders as she leans in to the kiss, her breasts pressing temptingly against me as she makes a little humming sound of pleasure in the back of her throat.

That familiar pressure builds inside me, just as it does every time I kiss Lucy. Every time I touch her. Every time I even think about touching her, really.

I feel myself growing hard, straining against my pants and pressing into her belly.

My breath quickens. As her nipples tighten, I’m seized with the urge to drop to my knees and take her breasts into my mouth, drawing the rosy buds into taut peaks.

And then I’d peel her clothes off, kissing her gorgeous body everywhere as I do it. Kissing that cute little diamond of freckles on her hip. Kissing the tiny swell of her belly—I’ve caught her scowling at it in the mirror, but I think it’s incredibly sexy. Then dipping lower, to the apex of her thighs, kissing Lucy until her hips are jerking and she’s making that needy sound that drives me absolutely wild.

But.

Lucy’s celebration. Not just of the completion of her book, which is huge on its own, but her birthday, as well.

Her birthday celebration, which she thinks is just a simple event at home, but is so much more than that.

Dragging my mouth from hers, I gaze down at her, memorizing everything.

Those adorable freckles across her nose, the ones that remind me of our daily walks around the B and A property. Her kiss-swollen lips, slightly parted as she catches her breath. The rosy flush to her cheeks. Her eyes sparkling like the clearest blue water catching the sunshine, flecked with bits of silver and green and gold.

I have never seen a more beautiful woman in my life, and I never will. No one could compare to Lucy.

My Lucy.

Fuck. I love her so damn much.

“I’m supposed to be congratulating you,” I finally manage once my brain starts functioning on all cylinders again. “Now we have an extra reason to celebrate today. And it’s just about time to start the celebration.”

Lucy grins, her face lighting up with it. “I don’t know. I think that was a pretty nice way to get it started.”

“Well, I have things planned. Gifts to open—” I glance over my shoulder at the mountain of presents stacked on the coffee table. “Dinner. Which I had help preparing, so you don’t worry.”

“I like your cooking,” she interjects. “You’ve gotten really good at it.”

Really good is definitely an exaggeration, but I am better. When Lucy’s appetite dipped in the aftermath of everything with Kali and Amberson, I tried to cook all of her favorites—chicken piccata and shrimp stir-fry and grilled cheese with tomato and ham. As a bonus, Lucy inevitably would come into the kitchen to join me, claiming she wanted to help, but I’m pretty sure she wanted to make sure I didn’t set the kitchen on fire.

“Cake, too,” I add. “From your favorite bakery.”

She brightens. “Is it red velvet?”

“Maybe.”

Yes. Of course. Like I wouldn’t order a cake in Lucy’s favorite flavor.

“I hope you didn’t do too much,” she says, her voice gently scolding. “It’s just a birthday. We all have them.”

“It’s a special day, Luce.” Framing her face, I kiss her again. “And I want to make it perfect for you.”

“Spending the day with you is perfect.” Lucy pauses. “But… I know something special I want to do first.” Her eyes glint. “And since it’s my birthday, don’t you have to say yes?”

“I guess it depends on what you want.”

Her hands move to my waistband, her slim fingers making quick work of the button and zipper of my shorts. “I want you.”

Oh.

All my plans. The people waiting to help.

But then again. Will it really hurt if we’re a few minutes late?

“We’ll have to make this ravishing quick,” I warn. “I’d planned to do the real one later, with a massage, and kissing you all over, and making you come at least four times.”

Lucy sucks in a breath as desire flares in her eyes. “That sounds like a great birthday present.”

“One of them.” Then I scoop her into my arms, one behind her knees and the other, her back. “But I think I can give you a sneak preview now.”

She laughs, a bright, happy sound. “Yes, please.”

Need pulses, hard and insistent.

I jog to the bedroom, Lucy giggling the whole way, but when I lower her to the bed, she sobers, her gaze growing dark and hungry.

“I want to watch you,” she says in this sultry voice that only comes out when we’re making love. “Take off your clothes. Right there. So I can see everything.”

Fuck. I love it when Lucy makes demands like this.

“Of course.” Gripping the neck of my shirt, I slowly pull it over my head. “Anything you want, gorgeous. I’ll do it.”

As I undress, her gaze is glued to me, her chest rising and falling quickly. She pushes her shirt up and plays with her exposed nipple, teasing it until it’s rosy-pink and hard.

Shit.

Touching Lucy’s breasts myself is amazing. But watching her touch herself…

“God. You’re so damn beautiful.” Dropping the last of my clothes to the floor, I climb onto the bed and brace myself over her.

Lucy looks up at me, a smile playing at her lips. “So are you.”

I move her shirt to expose her other breast, plucking at the poor, ignored nipple with my fingers until it matches the other.

“We have a problem,” I tell her, desire roughening my voice.

“Oh?” She widens her eyes at me. “What’s that?”

“Well. I’m naked. And you have entirely too many clothes on.”

“Hmm.” A beat, and then, huskily, “You should probably do something about it.”

“You’re right. I should.”

And then I do all the things I was fantasizing about only minutes ago.

Peeling off her T-shirt and shorts, kissing each inch of satiny skin as it’s exposed.

Then her lacy panties, which nearly make me swallow my tongue when I see them. “Are these new?”

“Yes.” A pleased smile curves her lips. “I know red is your favorite color. I thought you might like them.”

“I love them. But I think I’ll love them even more off.”

Once the scrap of lace is removed, I drape her legs over my shoulders and dip my head between them.

She’s already beautifully open for me, flushed pink and damp with arousal. I lap at her, taking that little bundle of nerves in my mouth and sucking.

As Lucy’s hips start to thrust towards me, I place a hand over her belly, holding her down. Then I plunge one finger inside her, feeling her inner walls clutch at me, the tiny muscles already quivering.

When I add a second finger, pumping both of them in slow strokes, Lucy moans. “Xavier. Oh. I want?—”

I lift my head, meeting her gaze. “Soon.”

“Oh—”

But all thoughts of plans and schedules are forgotten as I focus on bringing her pleasure. On watching the flush of arousal move from Lucy’s cheeks to her chest. On her pink-tipped breasts, marked by faint reminders of my kisses. On her heavy-lidded eyes, dark with desire, begging me without words to be inside her.

Finally, when I can feel her about to finish, I move so I’m above her. I’m achingly hard and slick with excitement as I nudge at her center, my need for her a perfect mix of pleasure and pain.

I mean to draw out the moment, the anticipation, but Lucy isn’t having it.

She wraps her legs around my hips and pulls us together, taking all of me at once.

And fuck.

It’s so?—

Fuck.

I never knew sex could be like this. Could feel this perfect.

Then again, this isn't just sex. Not just ravishing. It’s making love.

Every thrust into her is a joining, two matching pieces coming together.

We’re a perfect fit.

As I pump in and out of Lucy’s welcoming heat, the pressure builds until it’s moments from bursting.

Then Lucy reaches between us and rubs her swollen bud, her head falling back as ecstasy takes over.

I plunge into her once more, bottoming out, and she explodes around me.

She cries out, “Xavier. Oh. Oh. God. Yes .”

And that’s all it takes for me to fly into space with her, a multitude of stars bursting to life behind my eyes.

All my muscles go rigid as the sensations take over. As I revel in this incredible moment.

I feel myself filling her, and it’s never felt more right.

A whisper of a thought floats by.

What if Lucy stops taking her birth control?

Could we? Could I?

I never imagined it before. But, yes. I think we could.

As we come back to Earth, our bodies pretzeled together, Lucy smiles into my neck as she murmurs happily, “I think that was more than a preview, honey.”

With a satisfied grin, I reply, “Sunshine. That was a preview. Trust me .”

So we’re a little later than I planned.

Not that Lucy actually knows the plan—I’ve been carefully vague about it, trying to keep her expectations low. I’ve dropped hints about a nice dinner, maybe eating under the stars, possibly a movie new-to-theaters that Matt was able to download early. She knows we’re celebrating at B and A rather than a fancy restaurant in the city because she came right out and told me that’s what she wanted a couple of weeks ago.

“I’d rather spend my birthday at home,” she admitted, a faint pink flushing her cheeks. “I hope that doesn’t ruin anything you’re planning. It would just be… more relaxing. I’ve been getting better about going out in public, but for this…”

While I hate the reason behind her request, I didn’t have a problem with it. I already had my own idea of something special to do, and Blade and Arrow plays a big part of it.

But she has been doing really well, especially considering it’s only been a month. We’ve gone into Seguin to go shopping, to eat out, and Lucy just started teaching a creative writing class at the community center there. She’s only taught two classes and already loves it, and it’s great for me—I head to the center with her and work with the kids myself, helping them work out or playing board games with them. And next week, when I leave for a longer security job, Erik’s going to take Lucy to the community center for me.

She’s not interested in going back to work at the bookstore, happy to keep helping with the B and A admin work instead. Add to that her classes, bi-weekly counseling sessions, and at least four hours each day of writing, Lucy has more than enough to keep her busy.

I’ve told her if she wants to write full-time, I’m fine with it, but she says she likes it this way. And as Dante says, “Lucy’s great. She gets things done easily twice as quickly as I would. The promotional materials she makes are incredible. As long as she wants to help us out, she’s more than welcome to.”

It works for me. Lucy stays at the B and A property most of the time, except for trips into town or to visit her parents. And I don’t have to worry quite as much about her being away from me.

Will I always feel this rabidly protective towards her? Probably. But I’m working on tamping my instincts down. Or at least, I’m learning to bite my tongue. When Lucy decided to take a walk through the woods on her own the other day, I desperately wanted to insist on going with her. Memories of her flashback and the asshole intruders came storming back with a vengeance.

But I knew Lucy needed to feel in control again. So I nearly ground my molars to dust as I smiled and told her to have a good time. Then I went to the gym and sparred with Niall in an attempt to keep from worrying.

It sort of worked, at least.

“So, what’s the surprise?”

Lucy tugs at my hand, drawing my attention. She glances over at me, excitement in her eyes as she asks, “Are you going to tell me yet? I know it’s in the barn. Is it that movie I’ve been wanting to see?”

“I’m not telling you anything else. You’ll just have to wait and see.” But she’ll find out in just a few minutes, given that we’re about to leave the ranch and head out to the barn, and it’ll be impossible to keep her surprise a secret once she sees it.

She stretches up to kiss my cheek. “I’ll remember this when it comes time for your birthday. And I have plenty of months to plan my surprise.”

I release her hand, wrapping my arm around her waist and hugging her to my side. “I can’t wait.”

Sobering, I add, “Remember, I’m still a novice at planning birthday celebrations. Before you, it was just buying a case of beer for whoever’s birthday it was. And maybe playing some cards or heading out to a bar. It may take me a few years before I get good at it.”

“Xavier.” She smiles at me, her features lit by that Lucy-glow. “Don’t you know? It’s not what you do that’s important. It’s being with you. And honestly, every day with you is more special than any birthday I’ve had before.”

Oh.

I can’t breathe for a second.

How did I get this lucky?

Speaking past the lump in my throat, I reply, “I love you, Luce. So much.”

Her eyes go soft. “I love you too.”

As we step outside, my heart kicks into gear. A flutter of nerves fill my belly.

It’s not the first surprise I’m nervous about, but the second.

Across the yard, the barn is aglow with hundreds of white lights, first put there by Niall and then progressively added to by Dante and me. At this rate, by the time all of us fall in love, the barn’s going to look like a disco ball.

“Oh, Xavier. It’s so pretty.” After the first few steps outside, she stops. “Oh. Xavier .”

Lucy’s seen the barn all lit up before for other parties, but this time it’s different.

Hundreds of yellow balloons are everywhere. Tied to the trees, to the solar lights lining the path, the barn door, and to every available surface inside. And just above the door, there’s a custom-made sign made of yellow flowers and twinkling with lights that says Happy Birthday Lucy!

And that’s not all. It’s all the people inside. First chatting quietly, but as I lead Lucy closer to the barn, they all start clapping.

“Xavier.” Her voice wobbles. “You did all this?”

“Sort of. I had help.” As we continue our slow progress across the yard, I add, “Everyone wanted to be a part of it. Because they love you so much. So I thought… Well, I didn’t want to be selfish. I wanted to let them show you how much you’re loved.”

Lucy covers her mouth as tears shine in her eyes. “I can’t believe… look how many people there are. It’s just… I can’t believe it.”

I can.

Weeks ago, my friends started asking how they could help celebrate Lucy’s birthday. After everything she’s been through, they wanted to do something. Everyone wanted to be here to show their support. Their friendship. Their love.

My team is here, of course, along with Jade and Sarah. Dante and Sarah helped with all the food, coaching me through the dishes I insisted on making. They all helped decorate, spending hours tacking up lights and inflating balloons, and Jade and Rhiannon worked for hours on the Happy Birthday sign.

Then there are our friends in San Antonio, as many as could make it. TJ, who I’ve known since our Green Beret qualification training, and his wife, Milena. Cruz and his wife, Mickie. Our friend and contact in the SAPD, Quint, and his wife, Corrie.

Lucy’s parents came, along with her friends from the bookstore, Amanda and Remy.

Then there are her author friends, ones she talks to mostly online, but as soon as I reached out, they all wanted to be here.

Leo and Georgia flew from New York, along with their little girl, Lily.

Rylan and Charlie are here, too, and as soon as we step into the barn, Charlie runs over to Lucy and gives her a hug. “I’m so glad to see you. Ry and I are staying for a few days, so we can spend some time hanging out. And talk about romance books.”

Charlie and Lucy have become good friends over the last couple months, now texting or calling several times a week, and Lucy even attended a book club meeting—virtually, since it was in Sleepy Hollow—with Charlie, Nora, one of the other Blade and Arrow teammates, and Hanna, who’s married to Finn.

“I’m so happy you’re here,” Lucy replies, sniffling back tears. “This is incredible.” She pauses before adding, “I have some books for you. Some ARCs for my newest release. So you can give them to Nora and Hanna.”

The next couple hours are more of the same—people coming up to Lucy, hugging her, and saying how happy they are to be here. How happy they are to be a part of this special day.

Even Rambo is decked out in birthday attire, romping around with a yellow bandana and carrying a stuffed birthday cake.

“I thought it would distract him,” Sarah explains with a laugh. “So maybe he’ll be less interested in the real one.”

But he doesn’t touch the cake. As a therapy dog, he’s too well trained. Although he does nose around for crumbs on the floor and sidles up to pretty much everyone eating, casting mournful, pleading looks like he hasn’t eaten in ages. Which is patently not true. Dante and Sarah spoil him like crazy.

Once the cake is done, Niall comes over to me, leaning close to speak near my ear. “Are you ready for the next part?”

My nerves, which have been pretty calm, leap back into a frenzy. Making sure Lucy can’t hear me, I reply, “Yes. It’s a go.”

A few minutes later, Niall stands near the barn door and calls out loudly, “If everyone could come outside, we have another surprise.”

Lucy glances at me, her brows arching up. “Another surprise?”

“Yes.” I surreptitiously wipe my suddenly sweaty palm on my leg. “Come on out to see.”

As soon as everyone is on the grass, there’s a low whistle. It’s Erik, on the other side of the yard, making sure I’m ready. I give him a sharp whistle in response, signaling to go, while trying to keep my heart from leaping out of my chest.

“What is this?” Lucy asks in a whisper. In the dark, with the lights from the trees casting a faint golden glow across her features, she looks absolutely breathtaking.

“You’ll see.” Hugging her to my side, I kiss the top of her head. “I hope you like it.”

A few seconds later, the night sky explodes with color.

Flashes of light shoot into the air, bursting into stunning patterns in every color of the rainbow.

Erik proves his skill as a HAZMAT specialist as he sets off fireworks more elaborate than any I’ve seen.

Aside from the sound of the fireworks going off, it’s quiet. There’s an occasional ooh or ahh , but mostly, people are happy just to watch in silence.

Lucy leans into me, her hair brushing my chin. In between explosions, she whispers, “This is an amazing surprise, Xavier. Thank you so much.”

It is amazing. But it’s not the last one.

There’s a pause before the last of the fireworks goes off, long enough for me to fumble in my pocket for the small velvet bag inside. My fingers wrap around the tiny package and my heart beats so hard I fear I might actually pass out.

I’ve been scared before. But this? It’s different.

One more rocket shoots into the air, reaching its pinnacle and hanging there for a moment.

But to me, it feels like an eternity.

My future is there, in that distant spark of light.

And then.

It goes off.

Not an ordinary firework, but a heart. A yellow one.

Lucy clutches my arm. “Oh! Look!”

As the yellow sparkles start floating to the ground, she turns to me. “Xav?—”

I drop to my knee.

She gasps, her eyes going wide. “Xavier?”

With a shaking hand, I pull the ring from the bag and hold it out to her.

All the beautiful things I planned to say fly out of my head. All that’s left is the simplest of truths. “I love you, Lucy. More than I—” My voice cracks. “I never knew love could be like this. Could feel like this. I didn’t think I’d ever… but then I met you.”

A tear slips down her cheek.

Please. Let it be a happy tear, like she says she cries sometimes.

“I had all these romantic things to say, Luce. About how much I love you. But right now… Shit. I can’t remember. I just love you. Big capital letters in bold, love. I love you with all my heart. And I’ll do anything for you. Anything to make you happy, to take care of you, not that you need me to, but I want?—”

“I love you, too.”

“Will you marry me? I know this isn’t like the proposals in your books, when the guy says all these perfect, eloquent things. But what I can’t say, I’ll show you. I’ll spend my life showing how much I love you, if you’ll let me.”

And then I take my heart from my chest and hand it over to her. “Lucy. Will you marry me? Even if I say the wrong thing sometimes and I curse too much, and I—” My eyes go damp. “I’m not perfect, Luce. But I’ll spend my life trying to be the best husband to you.”

Lucy blinks. Another tear escapes.

Time stops.

“Yes. Oh, yes. Of course .” She kneels down and flings her arms around me. “Of course, Xavier. I would love to be your wife.”

My eyes aren’t just damp anymore.

I never imagined.

I never dared to hope.

As I slip the diamond ring on Lucy’s finger, she touches my cheek. When I look back up at her, she has the fiercest look in her eyes. “What you said? Your proposal? It’s a thousand times better than anything I’ve written. Because it’s real.”

“Oh, Luce.”

“And something else.” Amid the cheers around us, she holds my gaze. “You are perfect, Xavier. You’re perfect to me.”

Hugging her close, I feather light kisses across Lucy’s face before capturing her lips.

When the cheers turn to hoots and low whistles, I finally pull away and thumb the lingering tears from her cheeks. “I love you, Lucy. And I can’t wait to marry you.”

“Me neither.” She smiles, and her Lucy-glow is brighter than it’s ever been. “Let’s not wait too long. I can’t wait to be Mrs. Lucy Stone.”

Oh.

My heart.

I never knew it could be this full.