Page 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN

LUCY

“Hey, Luce, can you stay in here for a little while longer?”

I glance up from my phone to see Xavier standing in the bedroom doorway, looking particularly sexy in mesh athletic shorts and a T-shirt that pulls across his broad chest and shoulders. His legs are lean but muscular, tanned from the daily walks we’ve been taking, lightly dusted with hair turning bronze from the sun. As he crosses his arms, his biceps bulge, his golden skin contrasting with the white of his shirt.

Then there’s the way his shorts drape just so, more than hinting at another part of him I’ve been longing for.

We still haven’t had sex—at least not since I got to B and A—and while I appreciate Xavier’s caution, I’ve decided I’m more than ready for it. Since our date earlier in the week, we’ve been more intimate, tender kisses shifting to more passionate ones and hands exploring beneath our clothes.

I’m not sure why I haven’t come right out and said I want to make love. It’s not like I haven’t in the past; like that time I waited for Xavier to come over to my house after a work trip, wearing only one of his button-downs with all the buttons undone. The look on his face as the fabric parted, giving a quick glimpse of skin, and how the tails of the shirt just brushed my thighs as I moved… Or the times I’d join him in the shower the morning after he stayed over, bringing in a washcloth and offering to wash him all over.

If I didn’t have a problem with initiating sex before, why am I hesitating now?

My counselor suggested it could be because I’m still feeling scared and vulnerable, and I’m subconsciously avoiding intimacy as a way to protect myself.

It could be that. But I don’t think so. I never feel more protected than I do with Xavier.

Or maybe I’m afraid it won’t be like before. That I’ll be timid and Xavier will treat me like spun glass and I’ll discover the incredible connection we used to have has been broken.

That despite my recent claims to the contrary, I’m broken.

“Lucy?” Xavier’s smile fades into something more serious. “Are you okay?” He moves into the bedroom, his gaze now dark and worried as he inspects my face. “Did something happen?”

“No.” I give myself a mental shaking. “I’m fine. Really. I just… got distracted for a second.”

“By something bad?” He sits next to me on the bed, one hand covering mine. “Do you want to talk about it?”

As I look into Xavier’s chocolate brown eyes, so soft and concerned, determination chases away my hesitancy.

I’m not broken. Maybe a little bruised, but I’m still in one piece. And like Xavier tells me all the time, I’m stronger than I give myself credit for.

“Nothing bad,” I reply. Threading my fingers between his, I add with a smile, “I was actually thinking about how sexy you look.”

His eyebrows jump up. “Oh, really?”

“Yes.” I rest my other hand on his leg, trailing my fingers along the hem of his shorts. “I love these shorts. They’re very… clingy.”

“Clingy?” He glances at his shorts in confusion. “They’re athletic shorts. If anything, I’d say they’re loose.”

“Well, in some places, they are.” My fingers work their way up to his thigh as my gaze drops to the impressive bulge below his waist. “In other places, not so much.”

“Ah.” Desire heats his gaze. “I see.”

“And your shirt. I really like how it fits.”

Lips twitching, Xavier asks, “What about my shirt? It’s just a plain T-shirt.”

I move my hand to his arm, tracing the curve of muscle there. “But it’s tight in all the right places. Here. Your shoulders. Your chest.”

“ Luce .” It’s low and rough. “Do you know how gorgeous you are right now?”

“Me?”

“Yeah.” Now his hands are wandering, too. “These sexy pants.” His thumb strokes up the inside of my thigh. “And I love seeing you in my shirt.”

I look down at my yoga pants, which are admittedly tight, and the oversized Army shirt I stole from Xavier. “You like this?”

“Oh, Lucy.” His fingers brush the fabric at the apex of my thighs. “I more than like it. I think this could be my favorite outfit. I can see your sexy legs and your sweet ass, and having you wear my clothes… I love it.”

My breath quickens, and heat coils in my belly. Need pulses in my core. “Oh?—”

So of course , my phone picks this time to ring, interrupting the moment.

And like it has ever since the abduction, my body tenses at the unexpected sound, my heart leaping into my throat.

Xavier immediately shifts into protective mode, hugging me close to his side. “It’s okay,” he murmurs before pressing his lips to the top of my head. “You’re okay.”

Blowing out a slow breath, I command my muscles to relax. “I’m fine,” I assure him, adding unnecessarily, “It’s just the phone.”

“Do you want to answer it?”

Not really. I want to get back to this teasing foreplay with Xavier. But the phone is still buzzing and the way it’s set facedown on the mattress, I can’t tell who’s calling. It could be a telemarketer, or it could be someone important. One of my parents. Remy calling to check on me. The agent I’ve been putting off for weeks.

“I guess,” I grumble as I reach for the phone. “But if it’s a telemarketer…”

But it isn’t. It’s my friend, Kali, who I’d normally want to talk to, but right now my mind is on other, sexier things. Like getting a look at what’s beneath Xavier’s clothes. Touching all his hard muscles, kissing his soft skin, feeling him move inside me?—

Xavier glances at the screen. “Oh, Luce. You should talk to her. And I have something I’m working on. It’s almost done. So if you talk to Kali, by the time you’re done, I can show you.”

For a second, I contemplate ignoring the phone and leaping on Xavier instead. But like the thoughtful boyfriend he is, he’s already getting off the bed while adjusting the obvious arousal pulling at his shorts.

Swallowing back a growl of frustration, I tap the screen to answer before the call goes to voicemail. As I answer, Xavier mouths, stay here. I’ll come get you. Then he presses a quick kiss to my cheek before leaving the room, shutting the door behind him.

I’m caught between disappointment and anticipation. My body is still aching for him, but then again, there’s this mysterious surprise he’s been working on for the last few days in the guest bedroom, which I’m more than a little curious to see. And there’s nothing stopping us from making love later. Maybe I can even test out one of the new lingerie sets I ordered online to see if Xavier likes them as much as I’m hoping.

“Lucy! How are you?” Kali’s voice chirps across the line, drawing my attention.

“I’m good.” Scooching back on the bed, I lean against the padded headboard. “How are you?”

“Oh, the usual.” She sighs, her breath huffing loudly in my ear. I switch the phone to speaker and set it in front of me as she continues, “Work is okay. Although I got passed up for that promotion to account manager, so that kind of stinks. But it’s probably a good thing, really. Less pressure, you know?”

“Definitely.” Kali works for an advertising agency, and she’s been trying for a promotion for ages. She claims it’s because her boss is a misogynist, so like I’ve done many times before, I gently ask, “Have you thought about looking for another job? There are some great female-run companies in San Antonio.”

Another industrial strength sigh. “I’ve thought about it. But the idea of going on interviews, starting over… And if I meet someone and we decide to have kids, I won’t need to work anymore.”

Kali’s been talking about getting married and having kids since we were in high school, but she’s had terrible luck with guys. Either they decide they’re not ready to commit, end up cheating on her, or, like her most recent boyfriend, move across the world to live in Japan.

“True,” I agree. “Have you met anyone new?”

“Well, there was one guy at this speed dating event I went to last week. We made plans to meet for a drink, but he’s been traveling for work. So hopefully soon…”

“I’m sure it’ll be great.”

“If only I could meet someone like Xavier,” she says wistfully. “He’s like the ideal boyfriend. Sweet, generous, handsome, protective…”

Smiling to myself, I say, “He’s really great.”

“Oh!” Kali makes an apologetic sound. “I’m sorry, Lucy. I should have asked right away. Are you doing okay? Are you still at that security place?”

I’ve only told her it’s called Blade and Arrow about twenty times, but she never remembers. But that’s Kali. She’s a nice person, and I’ve known her for nearly twenty years, but she can be a bit self-absorbed at times. “It’s Blade and Arrow Security,” I tell her patiently, “and yes, I’m still here.”

“Oh.” Disappointment tinges her voice. “I was hoping you’d be able to come home by now.”

“Yes, well, Xavier and his team think it’s still too dangerous. Since the person who abducted me hasn’t been caught yet.”

“That sucks. Do they think you’ll be able to leave soon?”

“They hope so.” But do I want to leave is another question. I love being here with Xavier. And I’ve grown to really enjoy living at the ranch with all his friends around. But he hasn’t brought up the topic of plans for after and I haven’t asked.

“Well. Once you get home, we need to get together. Have dinner or maybe hit that new martini bar near my place. You could stay over, and it’ll be like the sleepovers we had in high school.”

“Maybe,” I say noncommittally. Dinner, yes. But going out to a bar with Kali, where she’ll be trying to hit on half a dozen guys while I sit next to her, trying to send off don’t talk to me vibes and wishing Xavier was there? I don’t think so.

As the conversation continues, returning to more talk about Kali’s job and her quest to find a future husband, I think about how our lives have diverged. How I’ll always stay friends with Kali because of our shared history, but that we want dramatically different things.

I don’t want to go out in San Antonio to the upscale bars where bankers and attorneys gather to pick up immaculately-groomed women. I don’t want to marry a man who cares more about money than anything else. I’m not interested in extravagant vacations around the world and living in a gigantic mansion.

I like taking hikes with Xavier around the B and A property and having picnics in the woods. I like quiet nights watching TV and learning how to play poker and getting together with Xavier’s friends. And I don’t need a giant house with furniture too nice to sit on and rooms that never get used.

If I’m honest with myself, I’ve found everything I want right here.

“Well, I should get going,” Kali announces. “I have a yoga class in an hour, and I want to look extra nice for it. The instructor is hot.” She laughs. “If the speed dating guy doesn’t work out, maybe this one will.”

I smile at her optimism. “Okay. Have a good time. Let me know how your date goes.”

Once the call ends, I toss my phone to the side and let myself slip back into my fantasy. Living with Xavier for real, making this apartment our home, taking trips around the country to visit his old Army friends… and then, one day, getting engaged. Married. Maybe even having kids.

I can see a life with Xavier stretching out in front of me, weeks and months and years of it. Holidays and triumphs and sticking together when things get tough. Growing old with him.

“Lucy?” The door opens and Xavier appears in the doorway, a hesitant smile tugging at his lips. “Are you off the phone?”

“Yes.” I jump up from the bed and walk towards him. “I’ve been off for a few minutes. Is it safe to come out now?”

Uncertainty flickers in his eyes for a moment, but he quickly masks it. “It’s safe.” Taking my hand, he gives it a light squeeze. “I have a surprise for you, not that you hadn’t figured that out already.”

“Maybe,” I admit. “But I didn’t peek. So I have no idea what it is.”

“Good.” He tugs me out of the bedroom and down the hall. It’s just a short distance before we get to the closed guest room door, where he stops and turns to face me. “I hope you like this. But if there’s anything you want me to change, just tell me. It’s okay. Or if you hate all of it?—”

“Xavier.” It’s lightly scolding, but softened by a smile. “Like I’d hate anything you did. I’m sure I’ll love it.”

“Well.” He makes a little face. “I hope so.”

As he sets his hand on the doorknob, he hesitates. Tension tightens his shoulders. Then, on an exhale, he opens the door.

All I can do is stare.

It’s a library.

Not just any library. But like Xavier reached into my head and pulled out the room I’ve always dreamed about. Things I’ve never mentioned wanting, but are magically here.

It’s incredible.

Clutching Xavier’s hand, my head’s on a swivel, taking it all in.

The floor to ceiling bookshelves on two walls, stocked with books and little flowering plants and literary inspired signs and figures. There’s a tiny statue of Tigger on one shelf, next to a collection of Winnie the Pooh , which I told Xavier was my favorite series when I was little. Beside my original Anne of Green Gables books, there’s a hand-drawn illustration of Prince Edward Island. And on the shelves filled with the books I wrote, there’s a little sign that says, creativity is a magical thing .

“Xavier,” I whisper, my throat too tight to speak louder.

“Do you like it?”

“I love it.”

In the corner, there’s the giant reading chair I’ve been lusting over for months, large enough to easily seat three people. And on another wall, a light wood desk that matches the bookshelves, with my laptop and every conceivable writing supply I could need—notebooks and Post-its and dozens of pens and pencils.

And on the walls…

Oh.

I cover my mouth with my hand as I move closer. “Xavier?—”

“Is it too much?” he asks. “I just thought… so many people love your work. And I thought you might like to see what they said.”

He found reviews of my books and framed them, arranging them in small clusters around the room. All lovely things written by readers saying how much the book meant to them, or how they related to a character, or how reading it helped them through a tough time. It’s been a long time since I let myself look at reviews, learning the hard way how crushing they can be, but seeing them like this…

“Oh, Xavier.” Tears burn behind my eyes. “This is incredible. I can’t believe you did all this.”

He takes both my hands as he looks down at me, and I’ve never been more certain of how he feels about me than right now, with his emotions on full display. “Luce. I want you to feel at home here. And you deserve a space to be comfortable. To read and relax. To write.”

There’s a twinge in my chest. “I’m not… I’m not sure when I’ll be able to get back to writing,” I admit quietly. “The ideas… they’re not there right now.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to. Just read in here, then. Or take a nap. Or… practice poker.” Xavier smiles. “It’s your space to use however you want.”

Oh.

How did I get so lucky?

Love builds inside me, this incredible joy and warmth and indescribable feeling that feels better than anything else in the world.

“I think I know what I want to use the room for first.”

“Oh?” Xavier brushes a soft kiss across my lips. “What do you want to do? Read? I got some of your favorite snacks; I could make up a tray?—”

“No. That’s not it.”

“A nap?”

“Nope.” I pop the P, smiling as he looks at me quizzically.

Enough hesitating. Enough second-guessing. I love Xavier, and I want to be with him.

My smile pulls into a grin as I whip off my shirt and drop it on the floor beside me.

Xavier’s eyes go wide. “Um.” It takes him a moment to drag his gaze from my bare breasts. “What did you have in mind?”

As I wriggle out of my yoga pants, I say, “Trying out that chair. I think we could definitely both fit on it.”

He glances over at it, assessing. “Yes. I think we could.”

“Then—” My lacy panties join my pants and shirt on the floor. “Maybe we could test it out?”

“Luce. Are you sure?”

My heart jumps. “Do you want to have sex with me? I thought… but if you’ve changed your mind…”

“Fuck, yes.” Xavier lifts me into his arms, and my legs wrap around his waist. He dips his head, capturing my lips in a hungry, demanding kiss. When he pulls away, his eyes are dark with need. “I didn’t want to rush you. But yes. God, yes. I want you. So badly it’s hard to breathe.”

Relief sweeps through me, and the last of my worry drops away. “Good. Because I want you, too. I want to feel you inside me again.”

“Oh, gorgeous.” In a blink, we’re at the chair. Holding me with one arm—which is so sexy I can barely stand it—he swipes the blanket off the back of the chair and spreads it out across it. “I don’t want to mess up your new chair,” he explains before setting me down on top of it.

“No. We wouldn’t want that,” I breathe, my lungs tight as I watch him peel off his clothes.

And oh .

It’s not like I haven’t seen Xavier naked before. But every time, there’s still a moment of disbelief that this perfect man is mine.

His chest is a broad expanse of golden skin dusted with dark hair trailing down below his waist. Thickly muscled, but not the bulky, bodybuilder kind—the sort that come from hours of cross training and thousands of pushups and sparring several times a week. His stomach is flat with an actual eight-pack, which I didn’t think was possible until I saw Xavier with his shirt off for the first time.

And his legs. I never thought much about a man’s legs before, whether they were sexy or not. But they definitely are, with strong calves and thighs that can run for miles without tiring and carry me effortlessly.

“You like what you see?” Xavier asks with a quirked smile.

“You know I do.” And I lean back in the chair, spreading my legs slightly. “What about me? Do you?—”

“Yes, Lucy.” It’s nearly a growl. As he leans over me, he says roughly, “I think you’re the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen. Your breasts—” He takes one nipple in his mouth, sucking and laving before releasing it with a little pop.

Then he does the same to my other breast, not stopping until both my nipples are taut rosy peaks.

As he kisses his way down my abdomen, he pauses to meet my gaze. “I love how soft your skin is. And your adorable belly button. And these little freckles right here.” He kisses the four freckles just above my right hip, the ones he says look like a little diamond. “I love these freckles.”

Need is coiling inside me, this insistent pressure building. My womb clutches at nothing, desperate to be filled.

“Xavier. Oh?—”

Now he’s between my legs, his tongue doing the most incredible things.

My legs fall open as he suckles my swollen bud, pleasure streaking straight to my center.

Then he plunges one finger inside me, and I moan at the sensation, at the slide of his finger against my slick inner walls.

“Fuck, Luce. You feel so good,” he groans. “I can’t wait?—”

“I want you.” Touching Xavier’s shoulder, I draw his attention. “This is amazing. But I want you. Inside me. It’s been so long. I just… I need you.”

Emotion tightens his features. “Sunshine. Whatever you want.”

And then he moves.

He notches himself between my legs, thick and hot and damp with excitement. As I guide him inside me, I stroke his velvety skin, loving the feel of him swelling in my hand.

“Lucy, I don’t know how long… I want you so badly.”

“I don’t care.” Holding his gaze, I show him everything I’m feeling. The desire. Trust. Love. “I just want to be with you.”

“Fuck, Luce.”

He tries to go slow, but I’m not having it. Not this time. Later can be slow and tender. Right now, I need Xavier more than anything.

So I wrap my legs around his waist and pull him against me, taking him completely.

It’s always a tight fit, but after weeks without, I can’t help a tiny grunt of surprise from escaping.

He freezes deep inside me and grits out, “Lucy. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“You’re not.” As I rotate my hips, I feel my body relaxing around him, instinctively accepting what he’s offering. “I was just tight at first. But it’s good. Better than good. It’s perfect.”

And it is.

The way he moves inside me, first in slow thrusts, bottoming out each time, my inner walls quivering around him.

And then faster, his biceps flexing as he braces himself above me, a light sheen of perspiration glistening on his skin.

I’m clutching his shoulders, my nails digging in, but he doesn’t mind the slight sting of pain. He calls the marks I leave behind his little tiger scratches, always with this pleased expression, like he’s proud to be wearing them.

“Luce. You feel so damn good.” Another thrust, impossibly deeper than before, and this intense wave of ecstasy comes rushing up on me.

I’m so close, my muscles tightening in anticipation.

In a sultry voice that comes out only when we’re having sex, I plead, “Xavier, I need?—”

And then he lifts my hips, changing the angle so he hits that spot , the one I write about in my books but never thought was real until I met Xavier.

Another plunge, the deepest yet, and I rocket into space. Stars burst to life around me, and flashes of white light splash across my vision. My inner muscles clench around him, holding him inside me.

“Oh, Luce?—”

Xavier thrusts once, twice, and on the third, he stiffens, letting out a low groan as he thickens and pulses inside me. The tendons in his neck go taut as he arches his head back, his eyes closed and cheeks ruddy with pleasure.

For a second, I just stare at him, memorizing every centimeter of his handsome features. Memorizing this moment I came so close to losing. Reveling in this connection that’s not just as good as before, but better.

Once we’re cleaned up, we snuggle in the chair together, with Xavier holding me in his lap. He strokes my hair away from my face, then kisses me on my forehead, my cheeks, and finally my lips. Then he pulls away to look at me, a depth of emotion in his gaze.

After a long pause, he says, “Thank you, Lucy.”

“For what?”

He cups my cheek, his thumb brushing feather-light across my skin. “For giving me a chance. In the bookstore. You were the first woman I… I just knew I wanted to spend more time with you.”

“I knew, too.”

Voice thick, he adds, “And thank you for waiting for me. For believing I’d find you.”

Oh.

“Xavier. I always knew you would.”