Page 55 of Grounded (Convergence #1)

Thax was an asshole. No, a savage asshole, whatever that was. It's what his destra had called him.

“And she's right, you savage asshole,” he growled at his reflection.

It was early the next morning. His Liri was still asleep, and she more than deserved to keep sleeping without her savage asshole of a destru waking her up. So, Thax had slipped out of bed, gone into the bathroom, and closed the door to confront himself as quietly as possible.

It had been awhile since he'd taken a good look in the mirror.

“Shit.” He rubbed his stubbled jaw.

Liria had been shaving him. She'd done everything for him. Thax shuddered as he braced himself on the counter. Had he really thought she'd be happier without him alive? Destrus went mad if their destras died, but destras didn't go mad if their beloved died. They just withered away.

“I nearly did that to her. And then all she went through to save me would have been for naught.” He met his stare again. “You are a savage asshole! She loves you, you fucking moron! Who gives a shit about flying as long as you have her?”

He swayed on his feet. It was exactly what he needed to hear.

From himself. The epiphany rocked through him.

It didn't wipe away the tragedy. He still felt adrift.

Still feared the future that he had previously anticipated.

But he didn't want to die anymore. Thax had finally remembered how much he had to live for.

“Liri,” he moaned and wiped a hand over his face.

“What have I put you through?” But he wouldn't allow his head to fall.

He kept it lifted. Kept holding his own stare.

“I will get better. I will forge a new future.

For her. Because she's worth my wings. Fuck, if those Nethren had made me choose between her and my wings, I would have chosen her in a heartbeat. So what the fuck is your problem, savage asshole?”

Thax frowned at his rough chin. He couldn't kiss his destra with those sharp hairs on his face. It would hurt her skin. And he had hurt her enough.

He got out his shaver. The rough growth of hair disintegrated under the rolling, glowing tip of the converged device. It only took a few seconds to take care of his stubble, and then he was moving on. Time to shower on his own. Yup, big boys washed themselves.

And damn if that water didn't feel good.

After a long, hot shower, Thax dried off, noting how much his hair had grown. It was almost to mid-back now. And he had lost weight. His stomach was concave, and his cheeks a little sunken. We couldn't have that. He would start eating again. A destru needed his strength to defend his destra.

It felt good to pull on fresh garments by himself.

And he only winced twice when he dealt with a pull-on tunic instead of an Aethari wrap.

He could do this. Thax stepped out of their dressing room and looked toward the bed.

Still sleeping. He had the urge to lie down beside Liri and watch her until she woke.

But that was creepy. Something a savage asshole would do.

And that was yesterday's version of him.

Today, Thaxvarien would be a gentleman. He'd be a proper destru.

Quietly, he crept out of his bedroom, closed the door behind himself, and headed for the kitchen. Aga was already there, humming to herself as she kneaded dough.

“Good morning, Aga,” he said.

“Dear sweet convergence!” she cried out, jerking her hands up and casting flour everywhere.

Including Thaxvarien's face.

They stared at each other, her eyes wide, until Thax chuckled.

“Oh, Master Thaxvarien, I'm so sorry!” Aga rushed forward with a clean cloth and offered it to him. “You gave me a fright.”

“It's all right.” He used the cloth to brush the flour off his face and clothing. “I'm sorry for startling you.”

Aga stared at him again, but this time, her expression softened. “Not at all, Master Thaxvarien. I'm thrilled to see you up early. May I make you some breakfast?”

“Finish what you're doing first. I'd hate for you to waste that dough after all its been through.”

She giggled, a flour-coated hand lifted before her lips. “How about some tea then? There's a fresh pot right there.”

“Thank you.” He headed for the teapot.

“Mugs are in the cupboard above.”

“Got one.” Thax felt more and more like himself with every action. He put sugar in his tea and stirred it. All by himself. Yup, he could do this.

“What would you like to eat this morning, Master Thaxvarien?”

“Whatever is easiest for you to make.”

“Nonsense! What do you like?” She rolled the dough into a ball and tossed it in a bowl. “I can get to it now.” She went to the sink and washed up.

Thax tried to think of his favorite breakfasts, but his mind kept turning to Liria. He wanted her to wake up to her favorite food. “How about some poached eggs, biscuits, and butter sauce?”

Aga cocked her head at him. “Funny, that's one of Miss Liria's favorite breakfasts.”

“Is it?” He paused in the doorway that led to the dining room. “Oh, and could you make my destra some pear cider?”

“It will be my pleasure.”

“Thank you.” Thax headed for the terrace with his tea.

Ensuring Liria enjoyed her breakfast was a good start, but Thaxvarien knew he had a long way to go. Both with her and himself. So be it. Even the longest, most grueling journey could be endured if you paced yourself. And starting was the hardest part.