Page 65 of Golden Queen (Idrigard #1)

I gasped, feeling the romance of the story despite myself, and despite the knowledge that this was my future husband we were talking about. Obviously, the story did not have a happy ending.

"Behr was ecstatic—so in love with Britellsia that he was sure it would not matter what she looked like—he would make her his Queen. Keep in mind, the little fool told me and Io all of this. He was an open book in those days—as sweet as pie."

I couldn't help but note the way she said in those days, as though he was no longer an open book. I wondered about that, but then Radella continued, and I lost the thread entirely.

"So, the big day came. Behr snuck right into the girl's wing of the Tyrion. He'd stolen one of his mother's tiaras and a ring with a fire ruby surrounded by diamonds—so that he could make his betrothal official with the customary gifts of a crown and a flower."

At my puzzled expression, Io added. "The ring was in the shape of a flower. The crown and flower thing is an old custom from Iyldmark. Even the common people do it."

"Oh," I said as Radella gave him a cross look for the interruption.

"So he’s standing in front of her, hands laden with treasure, and Britellsia lifts her veil..." Radella paused dramatically.

I slapped my hands on the table impatiently. "And?” I squealed.

"And she was an Obeliskana!"

"No!" I hissed.

"Yes!" Radella said, laughing. "The poor thing, she didn't even have.

..you know, traditional female parts. She was as close to a lizard as one can get and still walk on two legs.

I don't know what kind of marriage she had envisioned for them.

Perhaps she had known all along that seeing her would be enough to deter the poor, besotted boy. "

"That's so sad!" I insisted.

The words made Io nearly guffaw with laughter. He laid his forehead on his extended arm as though slightly ashamed of his reaction, but his shoulders were still shaking with mirth.

"It was very sad," Radella admitted, though she was still laughing as well.

"He ran, poor boy! And didn't come back to school for two weeks.

Britellsia went back under her veil and never breathed a word of it to anyone.

She went home to Hiphae for next term. And poor Behr learned a lesson that day.

The next time he asked someone to marry him, he consulted his parents first."

"The next time?" I asked, incredulous. "Did he do a lot of proposing—as a rule?"

"No, just twice as far as I know," Radella added, laughing anew at the look on my face. "But that first time, he was only eleven!"

"Fates! An eleven-year-old stole a fire ruby to give to a lizard girl?" Fire rubies were nearly priceless gems in any part of the world, but they were especially prized by the fae. Their bright, flame-colored inclusions made them look like living fire encased in blood.

My words made Io and Radella laugh harder still.

"Yes," Radella said. "I told you he was a little fool."

"So, the next time he proposed to someone, did she say no as well? Or was she a goat girl or a river sprite?" I asked, grinning.

Io's face changed, slowly shifting to solemnity as he met my gaze. Radella's laughter died off gradually, as well, and I regretted the question. I sensed it might not be a funny story at all.

"That was Behr's wife, S—Aelia," Io said softly, catching himself just before he used my nickname. "I thought you knew," he added.

"That was Egrid," Radella put in, lips pressed into a sorrowful line. "She died."

"Oh," I said simply. "I—I didn't know."

Io was looking at me oddly. I couldn't quite decipher the emotion on his face as Radella poured us all another round of whiskey.

She lifted her glass. "Here's to the sainted Egrid, and to Aelia of Windemere, who will help our dear Behr find happiness and love again."

I didn't miss the look of warning Io directed at the woman as she added, "To the noble House of Aldur. Long may they reign."

"Skyli," Io muttered, using the old Withian salute.

We all drank, and there was a moment of solemn silence before Radella added, "Egrid's sad story is a tale for another day, My Queen," she said, setting down her glass and rising from the table.

"Now, I insist you take the tent and my very warm cot, as this bunch of misfits prefer to snuggle with their dragons under the stars, and you'll not find another bed among us. "

"I couldn't," I said, rising from the chair myself.

"My king would flay me living if he thought I slept in a tent while you found a bed on the ground," she told me with a grin.

She reached down and gave me a kiss on the cheek. She smelled wonderful—a heady mix of something like warm, sweet spice, some faintly familiar flower, and the whiskey on her breath.

"Besides," she said, releasing me and reaching down to tug Io up from his chair, "Amon and I will keep each other warm." She gave me a conspiratorial wink, not seeming to notice the way my face fell right along with my heart.

I turned away pointedly, trying to cover the heat rising in my face. My heart thundered in my chest and blood roared in my ears as I sought to control my temper—temper I had no right to.

When I turned around to face them again, they were gone.

Dreams came again as soon as I fell asleep. Only this time I was in a room full of shadowy people, and somehow, I knew they were all angry at me. I had done something terrible to them. They hated me!

I heard their vile insults and mocking laughter as I tried to make myself smaller so they would leave me alone.

Ugly, fat whore! Dirty Cyungr! Unclean! Ruined! Look at her! The king will not like her, she is so fat!

The dream version of me tried not to care about their insults. The waking me would probably have laughed them away, but in the disjointed nightmare, the words cut deep, making me cry.

And then a tall figure appeared, coming in my direction. Even when he was just in front of me, I could not discern his features. He was all black, like he was made of swirling shadows.

He pushed me down, and then he was forcing my legs apart. Desire for him flooded into me—desperate, aching need. If he didn't touch me, I thought I would die.

I reached for him, even as my mind told me to be repulsed by the shadow creature.

My hands met only air. I cast out desperately, trying to grab hold of him, watching the smoky shadows swirl in the wake of my fingers.

I could still feel him between my legs, still feel the wetness there, the evidence of how badly I ached for him.

"Please," I begged.

He laughed, and it was a cruel, horrible laugh full of mockery and ruin. It should have scared me, but I opened for him, expectant and ready.

When he pushed inside, it ripped me apart.

I woke up screaming, even as a terrible, repulsive release rolled through me.

I felt my knees hit the canvas mat even though I could not remember getting out of the bed. My body shuddered with the unwanted aftershocks of the dream.

I was panting, heart racing, my entire face wet with tears.

My face wasn't the only thing that was wet. I realized my underclothes were damp from the desire I'd felt in my dream…and the release had been real.

The thought sent another wave of revulsion and shame through me. It was all I could do not to vomit in Radella's tent. I did not want to have to go and find help to clean it up—and try to explain that I was so damaged I couldn't manage a single night without dreaming of being assaulted.

Hello, dragon riders, I'm your future queen, broken beyond repair, can you help me clean up a little vomit?

I rose to sit back on my haunches and look up at the darkened ceiling. It was lit only by the coals of the little brazier in the center of the room and the reflection cast circles of orange across the tent.

I took several deep, calming breaths before climbing back onto the cot.

It had grown so cold I could see my breath in front of me. Even under the pile of fur, I couldn’t manage to control the shaking of my body.

Sometime later, I saw the tent flap flutter, and my heart kicked up in my chest.

A small, white body climbed over the edge of the cot and curled up on my chest. Even through the furs, I could feel her body heat and the shivering quickly stopped.

Only when dawn began to break and I saw the light of the rising sun filtering through the canvas walls, did I realize I had been watching the tent flap, waiting for him all night. And he had never come.

The morning brought an even more intense cold as I left the tent and found Io already waiting. He was dressed in the leather tunic and dark breeches he seemed to prefer for flying.

I greeted him as amicably as I could manage and surveyed him in the dawn light. He looked reasonably well rested, a fact that had my lip twitching with the urge to sneer...or maybe to snarl. I really was in a terribly foul mood.

I felt crossly like stomping on his foot with my own as I stepped to his side and tried to avoid his eyes.

I was watching the other dragon riders milling about, extinguishing fires, and breaking down the tent when I felt a warm fur come around my shoulders.

I took it gratefully, gathering it around me with cold hands.

The fact that it was likely one of the furs from Radella's cot sent unreasonable anger surging through me.

It didn't matter that I’d slept under it in the night.

It was one of hers, and I struggled against the urge to fling it away from me.

"Are you ill?" Io asked quietly, studying my face intently.

"I'm fine," I said, still avoiding his gaze.

He didn't press me since Radella was striding our way with Aben and Britaxia at her sides. I saw no indication on Britaxia's face that she felt any discord with the general, but neither she nor Aben spoke as they reached us.

"I hope to see you in Orin soon, Aelia," Radella told me, looking as fresh as though she hadn't slept outside on the ground.

"Or perhaps in Windemere when I return," I said, injecting as much enthusiasm into my words as I could muster. I was aware of just how unjustified my feelings were. It was hard to be angry at her and maintain any shred of reason in my mind.

Radella nodded and embraced me.

I smelled her. Dear gods, I smelled her—trying to detect any of his scent on her.

You have no right, my inner voice screamed at me.

I told that voice to shut the fuck right up as I released her, having detected no whiff of that fresh, intoxicating scent of him on her skin.

Of course, as we climbed onto Veles, and Io settled behind me, the other voice inside me—the angry one that wanted to stoke the fires of my jealousy—reminded me that she could have bathed after they.

..kept each other warm. And it reminded me that he had not come to me, even though I knew his highly sensitive ears would have heard my scream as I woke from the nightmare.

It was none of my business what he had or hadn't done with the beautiful Radella. But he had not come to me when I needed him for the first time ever, and I wasn't sure I could ever forgive him for that.