Page 65 of Goalie Secrets
I can’t help associating that perfect mixture of lavender and eucalyptus with making love.
However, I promised discretion. That’s why I don’t nuzzle my face into her neck. It takes enormous effort. Ask my cock, which is more than ready for some nuzzling.
“Here?” she asks, making circles along the edge of my shoulder.
“That feels good.” My voice comes out husky. I turn slightly to get a view of her full lips. “God, I missed you.” Before I’m called a liar about staying professional, I’ll remind everyone that patients miss their doctors all the time. It was a completely normal thing to say.
Vanya doesn’t think so. She jumps back as if pushed by an invisible force.
“Kyle will be here any minute. We got the results from Dr. Leroi.”
“And?”
“Let’s wait for Kyle. He’s been on your case the longest.”
“I’m here!” Kyle calls from the hallway. He enters and gives me a pat on the back. “Good to see you, Jeremy. Great game last night.”
“Thanks.”
Kyle and Vanya stand in front of me, their bodies blocking the door. Maybe it’s the stiffness of their stances that make the hair on my neck stand. The walls are suddenly too close and the air inexplicably colder than two minutes ago.
Vanya flips her iPad so I can see the screen. There’s a gallery of images. She clicks one and turns to Kyle.
“Jeremy,” Kyle starts, his voice low and cautious like he’s trying to lessen the blow with his tone alone. He points to the image. “The new imaging… it showed more damage than we suspected. We’re not looking at minor tears here.”
I fold my arms, bracing myself despite what feels like a cornered position. “What are you seeing?”
“Microtears in the hip labrum,” Vanya answers for him. “It’s the reason the usual exercises and treatment are no longer working the way they used to. Which means—”
“We change the exercises,” I interrupt. “Bump up the anti-inflammatories if needed. It’s stable enough.”
Vanya clenches her jaw, so she sounds curt. “No, Jeremy, this is beyond just keeping things stable. We’re talking about structural compromise. If that labrum goes, you’re looking at a complete tear. With EDS, that’s not something you can rehab through.”
Her eyes are intense, drilling into me. Does she think that if she stares hard enough, I’ll just, what, lie down and get massages all day? I release a breath, rolling my shoulders to brush off the defensiveness crawling up my spine.
“I’ve played through pain before. I know my body better than anyone.” I don’t want to overreact to their diagnosis, but I haven’t gotten this far in my career without having to advocatefor myself through the years. I’ve been given doom and gloom before. Each time, Kyle and I find a way to push through. Vanya just needs to adjust to how professional athletes function. Everyone plays with some kind of injury.
“I can get through this,” I explain to her in measured tones. “Obsessing about whatmighthappen will do more damage than whatever it is you’re worried about.”
Kyle shifts, looking uneasy, like he’s stuck between agreeing with me or backing Vanya. Who is still glaring, by the way.
“Jeremy, she’s not wrong.” Kyle breaks the staring contest. “Discovering the labral tears is more than just identifying pain stressors. It’s also an indication that your condition is straining your body in ways we hadn’t anticipated. If this fully tears, you’ll require surgery, a long recovery, and with EDS, it’s not a predictable healing process.”
“I’ve been through worse. I can’t let a few lines on a screen dictate how I play.”
“It’s not a few lines on a screen, Jeremy. Please,pleasetake this seriously,” Vanya begs. If her red cheeks and lowered gaze are any indication, she’s embarrassed by the outburst.
I’m overtaken by the desire to pull her in my arms and reassure Vanya. We can address the new microtears through exercise and treatment. I’ll work harder than ever and—in my heart I know this—she’ll do everything to help me.
“I know you guys are looking out for me.” I reach over and graze her hand. She inhales and sends an uneasy glance at Kyle. I reach over and pat him on the back to cover my slip. “I need to focus on the season. We’re on the path to the playoffs. We can revisit this in the summer.”
Vanya’s eyes blaze with frustration. “Jeremy, this isn’t just a ‘down the road’ situation. We’re warning you because if you keep ignoring the problem, you’re risking your entire career. I suspect your body is compensating for the tears in other ways, whichis why your knees have worsened. Ignoring the problem could affect your long-term mobility.” Vanya is gripping the iPad so hard her knuckles are white.
“I’ve got it under control, Vanya.” I’m in the middle of my most successful season yet. These microtears are causing pain, but they aren’t diminishing my performance. There’s a time and place for preventive care and then there’s the hockey season, when you leave everything on the ice. “I can’t afford to second-guess every move I make. That’s the last thing I need.”
Kyle clears his throat, glancing sideways at Vanya, then back at me. “Just think about it, Jeremy. We can work with your coach to lessen your nights on the ice.”
“That’s out of the question, Kyle.”