Page 15 of Gilded

MALIA

I toss my wrap around my shoulders and take the path toward the pool house but pass it and keep going. My mind is fuzzy from the wine, which is exactly what I need right now.

Luka stayed with Soren and my father to talk business, and I take the opportunity to clear my head and recommit to my liberated future.

I stop at a large rock, a spot where I often sit to get out of the house and think. It overlooks the small harbor, filled with a dozen boats, guarded by two men smoking and talking. I automatically think of Yari.

I tighten my fingers around the Lego until the corners dig into my flesh.

“Focus, Malia,” he used to tell me when my mind fragmented and fear snuck into the crevices. “You’re not living for today. You’re planning for tomorrow.”

I turn my gaze to the city skyline, lit up in the distance. I used to love this view. It filled me with hope of what my life could look like. Now I can’t help but wonder how many evil people live in that city and other cities like it.

My mind fills with the information I heard at dinner. Ten to twenty-five thousand people. People . Human beings. Human beings with lives and others who love them. And I know many of those people are children.

I press my hand to my sore cheek, while my mind swirls around escape routes again. I’d have to do it when I’m in New York. Or during a charity visit. But even if I did get away, it wouldn’t be for long. My father would have everyone looking for me—as in everyone —and when he found me, he’d kill me.

I turn the block over and over as I think about the gala coming up, my mind scanning the guest list for someone who could help me. But even after years of these galas, I can’t tell who my father controls or who might be ethically strong enough to choose helping me over catching his wrath.

Everyone at the galas is powerful in one way or another—a position in public office, the CEO of a major corporation, wealthier than God—and they all benefit from donating to the charities and associating with the foundation.

If they only knew what I know now.

I’m startled when Luka sits beside me on the rock.

He leans forward, presses his elbows to his thighs, and looks into the darkness.

The ocean isn’t whipping into whitecaps tonight, so the waves are smooth.

It’s hard to believe Yari was here just weeks ago.

It feels like forever and yesterday all at the same time.

When Luka doesn’t speak, I glance at him. His hair is blowing in the wind. “That didn’t take long.”

“Just preliminary stuff. We’ll dig in this week.”

I return my gaze to the ocean, tapping into the emotions inside him. That dark sensation is still there, but not nearly as black as it was at dinner. I let the silence linger, and he doesn’t seem to mind. After a minute or two, I feel his intensity kick down a notch, and I relax a little more.

It’s a comfortable silence, with the sound of leaves rustling easing in between the waves hitting the shore.

“How long have you been doing this?” I ask.

“I’d rather not talk about it.”

“Don’t do that. My father has done that to me my whole life.”

He looks at me. “Has he?”

“Yes.” When he only searches my face, I ask, “Do you guard the people yourself or oversee the people who do? Do you see or deliver the punishments you talked about tonight?”

He stares at his hands clasped between his knees. “I’m removed from the grit, like you are.”

That makes me feel both better and worse. I don’t even know why I asked. It doesn’t matter whether he’s there or not; those people still suffer. The same way they suffer when I pack money into my father’s bank account.

A gust of wind grabs my hair and draws it across my face. Luka reaches over and tucks it behind my ear, then runs his fingers over the lingering sting in my cheek. “They should stop hitting you now. If they don’t, tell me.”

“Why would you say that?”

“I talked to them about it.”

My mind flips back to the sight of Luka holding Soren’s arm so he couldn’t hit me. Then it jumps to the conversations I just heard across the dinner table, and I’m confused all over again. “Why?”

Instead of answering, he says, “What happened at the dock?”

“Where did you hear about the dock?”

“At the dinner table while you were in the bathroom.”

The pain that’s lived inside me since that day throbs to life. “Then you already know. Why ask me?”

“It was in passing, and I was more concerned about talking to them about the abuse.”

“How’d that go over?”

“They heard me.”

“You are so…” I’m at a loss for words.

“So…?”

“Complicated” is the first thing that comes out of my mouth. “Contradictory.”

“How?”

“At dinner, you were calculated and deliberate. You talked about things that are truly inhumane, and your mood was so dark. But then we’re alone, and you’re, I don’t know, just different.”

A smile flickers over his mouth but doesn’t hold. “I have much better company now.”

“I don’t understand how you can do the things you talked about at dinner yet still be so…normal.”

“It’s a gritty business. To keep some part of yourself unaffected, you need to compartmentalize. You must have your own way to cope.”

“Clearly not well.”

“Talk to me about your father. I’ve seen a lot over the years, but I don’t understand your relationship.”

I press my fingers to tired eyes. “Probably because there is no relationship.”

“You’re clearly unhappy and abused. Why haven’t you left?”

I scoff. “You make it sound so easy.”

He assesses me, his serious eyes searching mine. “Why wouldn’t it be easy?”

“Because they own me .” I nearly yell the words. “Look around. I live in fucking captivity. This is my own personal Alcatraz. It’s not like I can just walk out of the house and down the street. I can’t run a boat. I can’t swim. I’ve asked to learn my whole life, and my father has always said no.

“I don’t have one goddamned dollar to my name, and I’ve never been taught a lot of the most basic things I’d need to know to live on my own.

I don’t know how to read a map, take public transportation, interview for a job, grocery shop, drive.

Hell, I can’t even do my own laundry. They’ve never left me alone anywhere.

I’ve never been free to do what I wanted, when I wanted.

Everyone in power is loyal to my father, not to mention I’m worth a billion a year to them.

Do you really think they’ll just let me go if I ask nicely? ”

“Don’t you have a trust fund?”

Even that’s gone now, along with my freedom, my self-worth, and before long, my personal autonomy. All taken by the man who should care about me the most.

“No. My father doesn’t pay me or even give me spending money, which doesn’t matter, because I have nowhere to spend it. Everything I buy has to go through his secretary, then gets shipped and inspected here before it reaches me. That’s why the books you gave me were so amazing.”

I press my palms to my eyes. My stomach is tied in knots again, and anger floods in. “You’re right. I don’t want to talk about this either.”

He leans in and wraps his arms around me, hugging me hard.

I’m stunned. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to feel.

No one has ever done this before. And a wave of emotion rises from out of nowhere, swamping me until tears push from my eyes.

I’m so confused. I want to hate him like I hate the others, but hate is such a draining emotion, and there is something intangible and unexplainable between us.

I have no illusions about who or what Luka is. Despite being removed from the everyday carnage, he’s as bad as the other men in this house. Besides, there’s nothing he can do for me other than teach me what Soren wants me to learn.

“You’re okay, love,” he murmurs. “I’ve got you.”

I pull away. “That’s a pretty lie, but nobody has me. I’ve always been alone.”

“I have something for you.”

“Given how my life’s been going, I don’t want to know what it is.”

He pulls out a cell phone as small as his palm, powers it on, and the screen lights up. I gasp, as if he’s just pulled the Hope diamond from his pocket.

“Sure you don’t want this?”

I lean away like it’s poisoned. “No. I can’t have?—”

He presses one finger against my lips, and the look on his face exposes a different side of the man at the dinner table. “What they don’t know won’t kill them.”

I smirk. “Then maybe they should know.”

He smiles, but it fades in a split second. “My cell is programmed into the contacts, here.”

He shows me how to text and call him. I’m about to ask him why I would need to contact him when he opens a browser, and my heart skips.

“Oh my God. Is that the internet ?”

His smile turns soft. “A little relief to the isolation, love.”

I’m overwhelmed. This is the second thoughtful thing he’s done for me in a matter of days. For others, these might seem small, but to me, they’re monumental.

“Why are you doing this?” I ask.

“Because I hate how disconnected you are in this place. And with everything you have to tolerate here, you deserve a little distraction.”

Something has shifted between us. I don’t know what, and I’m not even sure which of us instigated that change. I accept the olive branch but not the phone. I haven’t forgotten who he is, but I don’t have to like the person offering the kind action to appreciate it.

“Thank you, but I can’t take it. It’s too much of a risk. If they learn you gave it to me, it would be considered betrayal. It’s a death sentence.” I think of Yari, and my throat grows thick. “I can’t. I just…I can’t.”

He takes my face in both hands and tilts my head until I’m looking into his eyes.

“Just hide it somewhere they’ll never find it.

Only use it when there’s absolutely no chance they’ll see it.

The cellular data and the internet access are tied to me, not your father or this house, and it’s secure.

There’s no way for them to track it. I’ve also asked them to reassign that old woman and replace her with someone closer to your age.

Someone who isn’t looking for a reason to turn on you. ”

Suddenly, we’re on the same side. And while one part of me wants to grab hold, the other reminds me of what happens to my allies, making me want to push away.

But my mind fills with all I need to learn to escape this life, and the only way for me to do that is the internet. I’d hoped I’d get the privilege back when I lived with Soren, but there’s no guarantee, and it’s right in front of me. Right now.

He forces the phone into my hand and curls my fingers around it. “Even if you don’t use it, I’d feel better if you had it. I don’t want them hitting you. If it happens again, call me so I can intervene.”

I don’t know what to say. This is completely unexpected.

He taps my nose with his index finger. “But no porn.”

I sputter a laugh.

He stands and offers his hand. “I’ll walk you back. I have to return to the city tonight. I convinced your father to let me get my own things and tie up loose ends.”

I take his hand and stand, barely keeping the words Take me with you from spilling out of my mouth.