Page 43 of Gideon (Finding Home #3)

We smile at each other, and I know with an inner certainty that we’ll be fine now.

At that point, Frankie walks in just to really top the shit cake off with an even shittier icing. “Great,” I mutter, and Frankie glares at me.

“Come to see what you’ve done to his career?” he says venomously.

My mouth falls open as the normally mild-mannered Silas turns on him.

“I’d like you to remember that you are a guest in this house, Frankie,” he says sharply, his posh accent frigid with politeness. “And as such you will be held to the same standard of behaviour as the other guests. If you persist in being rude, you can sod off and find somewhere else to watch this.”

“Are you not going to tell him that?” Frankie demands, pointing at me. “He’s a guest too.”

“No, he isn’t,” Silas says coldly, turning away. “He’s family.”

There’s a truncated silence in the room. When I look up, Oz is fluttering his eyelashes at Silas, who is trying not to laugh. I feel a sense of warmth run through me that I’ve been accepted by Gideon’s friends. I hope it’s not for nothing.

The standoff between Frankie and Silas is broken when Niall leans forwards. “He’s on.”

Everyone clusters around the sofa as he turns the volume up.

I notice a few ladies led by the redoubtable June coming into the room just as the introductory music comes on and the slides start of Steven interviewing seemingly everyone who is notable in the world.

When the music stops and the screen shows Gideon, we all lean forward as if synchronized.

I stare at my lover. His face is set and resolute, but there’s a subtle change. “Does he look different to you?” I say to Niall, who stares at the screen.

“Not really,” he says doubtfully. “He just looks like Gid.”

But he doesn’t. Not to me, anyway. The sick shock seems to have faded and there’s something else playing on his face and a strange gleam in his eyes. I wonder what it is, but the thought flies away as Steven starts his introduction, showing Gideon in stills from his many films and plays.

I smile a little when he shows photos of him in school performances. He looks truculent and sulky and just so him that it makes my heart hurt and my brain wonder if I’ve gone completely mad handing this man my heart.

Normally, at this point the camera will cut to the guest who will look incredibly modest and express their delight at Steven actually deigning to interview them.

This time, however, the camera cuts to Gideon who just looks incredibly bored.

It obviously slightly discomposes Steven, who fumbles his words before managing to welcome his guest.

“Well, I’m delighted to welcome one of Britain’s most talented actors to the sofa tonight. Gideon Ramsay, star of stage and screen and one of Britain’s most popular exports.”

“That makes me sound like a crate of raspberries,” Gideon says coolly.

Steven laughs somewhat nervously. “Ah, I’ve heard many things about you, but humour wasn’t ever particularly mentioned.”

“I wonder why that was,” Gideon says, leaning back in his chair and actually looking like he’s starting to enjoy himself.

“Could it be that you’re always so focused on your roles that you inhabit them twenty-four hours a day in your pursuit of true excellence? I’ve seen your face before in pictures taken on the set. You always look like you’re totally in character.”

“Or I’m just a bit bored and ready to go down the pub,” Gideon offers, and someone in the audience gasps and smothers a laugh.

Steven hesitates barely perceptibly before firming his lips and shooting straight into the reason for this interview.

“Now, Gideon, despite being pictured with many very beautiful women over the years, the rumours have never actually been put to bed that you’re gay. They persist out there with people saying that you’re living a lie, covering your true self in an attempt to cling onto your fame.”

“Rather dramatic,” Gideon says, slouching slightly in his seat. “The last thing I clung onto was the wall, and I was desperately hungover then.”

Oz laughs but I stare at Gid. His face is almost expressionless, but there’s a slight light in his eyes that has never, in all the time I’ve known him, ever presaged anything good.

I sit forward slightly, as do Niall and Silas who obviously recognise the look too.

“You’re right,” Niall says, turning to me and offering me an approving look. “He’s up to something.”

Steven nods thoughtfully at Gideon. “And yet there have been photographs published in the papers today showing you embracing another man. They’re very intimate photos that suggest strongly that you’re not exactly straight.”

Gideon smiles blandly at him. “Well, I’m not. I’m gay,” he says clearly and very casually.

There’s a huge gasp from the audience and Steven sits back looking utterly astonished, his mouth opening and shutting like a fish taking in food.

In the study, I sit up, feeling like my heart is about to come up my throat as Silas and Niall jump to their feet, and Frankie curses loudly and creatively.

“What the fuck ?” he breathes, looking panicked. “What the fuck is he doing?”

“Being truthful,” Milo says, and Frankie glares malevolently at him.

“Milo–”

“Shush!” I say crossly to him.

“But you’ve said that you’re straight on many occasions,” Steven says, leaning forwards now, his expression aiming at intent and settling for somewhere between glee and panic.

“Have I?” Gideon looks patently amazed. “I don’t actually believe I’ve ever said anything of the sort.” He waves his hand in a very cavalier fashion. “I don’t bother reading the labels on my clothes, Steven. Why on earth would I put one on myself?”

“I find that a bit rich,” I mutter. “He’s never done his own laundry. Up until a month ago he didn’t even know that clothes could be worn more than once.”

“But you’ve been seen many times with women,” Steven says. “Jacinta Foxton, for one.”

Gideon smiles coldly. “I’ve also been seen walking her dog. I’ve never been accused of shagging it.”

Someone off camera laughs, and Steven gets the look of a man whose simple interview is getting away from him.

“Apologies for that use of language,” he says primly.

He looks at Gideon for a second as if expecting some show of remorse.

There isn’t any. “Moving on,” he says hurriedly. “So, you’re really gay?”

“That’s not moving on. That’s actually just moving back to the previous question,” Gideon says in a helpful sort of way. Then he relents and all traces of sardonic amusement fade. “I haven’t exactly been honest,” he says slowly. “Even if I haven’t directly lied.”

“It’s like Bill Clinton all over again,” Niall murmurs, and Milo shoves him.

“Shush!”

Gideon’s expression becomes stark. “I let my fans assume something about me for years because I was always told that they would hate my sexuality, and me for it. I’m sorry for that, because I think I was putting my own murky feelings about everything onto them.

I actually believe that they’re a lot more intelligent than I’ve ever been, but at the time I wasn’t comfortable and couldn’t believe they would be either.

And for a long time they were all I had. ”

“Aww,” June says from behind me. “Poor man.”

Steven looks suddenly infinitely friendlier. The interview is obviously turning into the scoop of the year in front of his eyes.

“So, what changed? Is it the man in the photos with you? Is he your boyfriend?”

My heart skips a beat. This is it. This is the moment when he’ll either acknowledge it or hide me.

Gideon makes a moue of distaste. “ Boyfriend!”

My heart sinks, and Frankie gives a humourless laugh. “I knew it. Did you really think he’d claim you in front of millions of people, Eli? Get real. Gideon’s gay, not desperate.”

I open my mouth, but I’m not sure what to say because it looks like he’s right, but then Steven leans forward. “Is that part of your conflicted feelings about your sexuality raising its head?” he says sympathetically. “You can’t even say the word boyfriend?”

Gideon looks slightly revolted. “No, I just hate that word. Makes me sound like I’m thirteen and going to Roller World.” Oz laughs, ignoring Frankie pacing and sweating.

Gideon shoves his hand through his hair.

“Let’s just say that he’s my person.” I gasp loudly and Milo squeezes my arm with a huge smile on his face.

“And yes, he is responsible for the change in me,” Gideon carries on.

“Mainly because he’s a wonderful person and if he sees something in me that’s worthwhile, then maybe it’s really there. ”

“Aww,” one of the ladies says from behind me. “That’s so sweet.”

Steven starts to wind the interview down, his expression friendly and engaged as he and Gideon laugh at something.

I’m dimly aware of the women leaving as I stare hard at Gideon.

He looks so vulnerable all of a sudden, and I want to grab him and hug him and I actually want to cry.

He’s done it. He’s bloody done it. And in his own inimitable way. I start to laugh.

My laughter stops as Frankie rounds on me. “ You, ” he hisses. “This is all your fucking fault.”

“How?”

“Turning his head. Making him think he can have a relationship.”

“Well, he can,” I say simply and coldly. “He can have any relationship with me he wants.”

“Because of his money,” he sneers. “I see you, Mr Jones, and what you’re after.”

“Not for the money,” I say steadily. “But because he’s clever and funny and he needs me like no one has ever needed me before. Because he’s gentle and kind and needs to be shown it’s alright to be like that rather than a cutthroat shark like you.”

He grunts and comes round the sofa at a fast pace towards me. Niall stands up but I wave him back.

“I would really suggest that you don’t hit me,” I say sharply, coming to my feet. “Because I don’t want to hit you back.”

“Oh really? Why? Does it go against your nursing code?”

“No, it’s because I’m a nurse and I know in detail where to hit you back so it really fucking hurts.”

“Oh, you’re a nurse now. You weren’t one when you turned my fucking client gay.”

“Has he got a magic penis then?” Oz enquires, laughter rich in his voice. “Does it do tricks too? Maybe it can do my bookwork.”

Frankie ignores him, pacing to get into my face. His breath is sour, and I can smell the sweat on him. “I’m going to have you struck off,” he hisses.

“How?” I say tersely.

“For fucking your patient.”

“I have never fucked a patient,” I say angrily. “He wasn’t my patient when we got together.”

“So you say.”

“It’s the truth,” I say loudly, feeling my fists clench and anxiety flood me.

His eyes sharpen and I know he’s reading me.

“Well, your truth probably won’t be believed when I make this public.

” He drills one long finger into my chest. “And I will. I’m going to let the press know that Gideon’s nurse took advantage of him when he was at his lowest and weakest point and is taking advantage of him now by living off him.

When I’m finished with you there won’t be anything left to whore out. ”

A deep, rich voice comes from behind us. “Goodness, how extraordinarily quaint. Now I suggest you take your hands off my boyfriend.”

We both gasp and turn to the door to find Gideon standing there with a man dressed in a very expensive-looking suit next to him. The man is extremely good-looking with jet-black hair and very blue eyes behind black-framed glasses. He’s also staring at Frankie with a frown on his face.

Milo looks at the TV where Gideon is shaking hands with Steven and then back at his brother. “How are you here?

He smiles. “It was recorded a couple of hours ago when I got to the studio.”

“Gideon,” I say stupidly. “Are you okay?” I inhale as he turns to look at me, his eyes fairly eating me up. He has spots of colour on his cheeks, but he looks resolute and even calm now.

“I’m fine, love,” he says. I gasp at the endearment, and he makes to take a step towards me, but the man next to him says something, and he pulls back, turning to Frankie. “Follow me please, Frankie,” he says quietly. He looks at me intently. “I’ll be back,” he says. “Please don’t go.”

I swallow, feeling my eyes sting at the vulnerability in those simple words. “I’ll be here,” I promise. He stares at me for a long second and then as one, he and the man turn and leave the room with Frankie trailing behind.

I turn back to the other men. “What the fuck just happened?”

“I’ve got a feeling that Frankie’s reign is coming to an end. That’s John Harrington, Gideon’s lawyer,” Milo says gleefully.

Niall stirs and looks admiringly at him. “You have such a ruthless streak,” he says happily.

“Thank you,” Milo says demurely. Then he smiles at me. “Come on. Let’s go and get something to drink.”

“I should wait here for him,” I say hesitantly. “Just in case he needs me.”

“He does need you,” he says simply. “Probably more than you’ll ever realise. But he needs to do this on his own. You’ll be there waiting for him at the end, won’t you?”

I stare at him, aware of the others looking at me. “Of course,” I say simply. “Always.”