Page 83 of Generation Omega: Claimed (Originverse #3)

KAZIMIR

The air here is too damn clean. All these trees scrubbing the oxygen and sending it right into my lungs—yeah, that’s a perfectly believable reason for this affliction I’m suffering.

Affliction … that’s it. That’s what got hold of me.

It’s an illness. It must be. The only trouble is illnesses need curing, and I’m struggling to imagine wanting this condition to be healed.

Fine. I’ll come up with something else to justify my current experience with an entirely new concept called longing .

It teases me, this idea of pining with tender thoughts and hopes for things that haven’t come to pass.

This is a first for me. At least, I think it is.

Did I long to capture, kill, or distribute abducted omegas and alphas?

Was that a deep yearning? I don’t think so.

It was a game, with the ending always a bit of a letdown if I’m being honest with myself.

Sure, there would always be someone else to capture, torture, or assassinate, but it was just a job.

Some people prepare delightfully sweet orange juice concoctions at the mall, and others hunt unsuspecting omegaverse victims. No one feels an intense longing to fill a beverage for a stranger to consume, any more than sending projectiles through yet another person’s chest cavity would make me giddy. Work is all ho-hum in the end.

I’m even more convinced that this is indeed my first encounter with yearning—in this case, for something I can absolutely have.

Ethan’s ready and waiting, and Gideon will be here soon to take my post. He may even arrive early, since he’s such a softy and knows Ethan and I have big plans.

If my ego could have withstood it, I would have begged off and asked Gideon to cover for me, but that was a bridge too far.

Besides, I’m not quite ready to move from longing into satisfaction, even though that seems reckless.

Why risk it? Best to grab hold of the moments we can before it all fades away, either by a sudden explosion of violence or the cruel passage of time.

But longing itself is so welcome, this chance to imagine the pleasant moments awaiting me.

Actual pleasant moments… it’s like discovering that happiness really exists—it wasn’t just a nefarious fabrication created by liars and villains.

My desire is potent as I visualize Ethan and me discovering each other.

I can almost picture it, letting down my guard and laughing with him over some silly human moment we share.

I can see walking through the world with the knowledge that I know Ethan in a way no one else ever will, that part of his heart belongs to me.

I already know I would trade everything I have—decades of my life—just to know him better than I do now and to be accepted by him as I am.

One aspect of this delicate foray into human emotions is undeniable.

It’s Tillie who gave me something I never would have asked for, a thing so precious that it caused this exquisite yearning to bloom in me.

Her willingness to accept me, to keep my secrets from Ethan…

that’s what built the joy that’s dancing around inside this killer’s rambunctious heart.

It won’t be easy to conceal the truth from Ethan, but I can do it, because I know I don’t have to protect Tillie from who I am.

That little powerhouse is deceptively fierce, and I pity anyone who ever underestimates her.

An image returns to my mind, a completely ridiculous and infinitely embarrassing daydream, that refuses to be suppressed no matter what I do.

It involves me comfortably resting somewhere, with my beta and my omega cuddled around me.

The two of them hold each other’s hands, as they did when I first spotted them in that alley, while I read them the latest shifter romance release, MM if possible.

I would do all the voices and provide all the sound effects—as an attentive alpha does.

It shouldn’t be possible, but I can visualize a time when I’m not standing a post, watching for killers to arrive. A time beyond the wars.

What does it mean when a killer longs for peace?

I’m defective, clearly. A shame upon my crappy family name.

No great loss there. Truly, I’ve never believed the word lucky could ever describe my life, but it does now.

I’m a lucky assassin who actually found his reasons to live a good life.

I inhale another rich breath of forest-fed air and sigh like a contented man.

I hear the click before any warning reaches my ears and then a voice I know too well.

“Don’t move, Kazzie. Don’t turn. Don’t be stupid.”

My soul turns to ice and drags the rest of me into its frost. I’ve failed. It’s over. “How?”

She giggles, managing to sound like an ingénue rather than a sadist, which is exactly why she’s so effective at what she does.

“Some brothers tell their sisters everything , but you don’t tell me anything .

But really, that’s neither here nor there, because I’m here and there and everywhere.

It’s been a lovely adventure discovering all your secrets. ”

She tuts at me. “You’ve been a bad Volkov, thinking you could just walk away with your handsome beta.

Who’s the omegee lover now? I get it—they’re infectiously adorable, aren’t they?

Did you see him when he had an orchid painted on his face?

Because I did. I saw them all. I was in that auditorium watching the game begin, and now I’m here to watch it end. ”

I know better than to plead. The fact that I would doesn’t surprise me, though I don’t miss the irony. But begging wouldn’t work on me, and it certainly won’t work on the girl I trained from the time she was a toddler. “Just do it. Put me out of my misery already.”

My sister laughs as freely as a psychopath. “Oh, don’t be silly. I’m not in that much of a rush to be an only child. I mean, you killed our brother and if I kill you, then who’s left to defeat that’s worthy of my efforts?”

I’m still glaring at the trees, not daring to turn around, but why? I could make her kill me, but I won’t, because I’ve been at this a long time. I know what all killers know—it’s not over until it’s over.

“Don’t you want to know what I did to your darling beta?” Her voice is still musical, but even more haunting.

I’m not even a worthy adversary anymore, because my body tenses at the mention of Ethan, broadcasting exactly how much power my kid sister has right now. “I’m certain you’ll tell me. What fun would it be to keep that secret?”

“You know me so well,” she gushes. “You don’t need to worry yourself. I used a basic horsey tranquilizer on your fella, nothing lethal to a cute beta boy. The rest got the serum and are sleeping peacefully while they await pickup. They’re on their way— Papa is on his way.”

Her brightness is a pickaxe bashing holes in my frozen heart.

“Papa has big plans for your dear beta, and for you, but I’m feeling like the game ended too quickly.

I also feel like I owe you—for ending Ivan’s reign of terror, of course.

I almost did it so many times, but Papa’s approval still matters to me.

But never having to look at the gnarly-faced monster that tortured me all those years…

priceless . So, what do you say? You want to keep the game going a bit longer? ”

“Sure, if you’d like. Tell me the rules.” I force myself to sound amused at the possibilities, but all I feel is horror. My sister only plays games if they’ll wreak such havoc that you forever hate yourself and the misguided hope that kept you from tapping out when you should have.

“I’ll let you go. Aren’t I generous?”

“The rules,” I push.

“Fine. I’ll let you choose one of your little packmates to take with you—just one.

” Another peal of giggles precedes her adding, “I know you aren’t taking the hapless professor…

sheesh , what a wonderful mess you made of his neck.

And you won’t choose the other alphas, so that leaves you with the most delicious choice ever—your precious beta or the omega he loves.

He’ll never forgive you for choosing him, and she’ll never forgive you for choosing her…

amazing , am I right? In truth, if this weren’t so scrumptious, I’d already have dosed you with the serum. But this might be my best game ever .”

She pauses before speaking quickly, “Oh dear, they’re coming up the hill. Time is short. Make your choice, Kazzie.”

“What about you? You really want to pay the price for this?” I’m stalling, but it’s all I can do.

“Aww, thinking of me… how cute , but I’m ready for my punishment.

That’s the thing about me—I like what they do to me when I’m in trouble.

You were never like that. You delivered the pain, but you never became it.

That’s why I’ll always win, dear brother.

Always . Now, you’ve got to move. I’ll stay close but not get in your way. ”

Everything about her voice and demeanor shifts instantly, becoming cold, calculating, treacherous.

“One thing though, if you break my rules or attempt to bark at me, I’ll put an actual bullet into your beta’s head—like you should have in that alley.

You chose to betray our family, and I’ll punish you for that one day.

And don’t forget who Papa likes to watch torture our toys.

Whether you choose your beta or the omega, the one you leave behind belongs to me now. ”

I must do this. I must choose. I must pick one packmate to save. Of course, it will be Ethan or Tillie, but as I enter the house, not having even seen my mask-wearing sister’s face, I have no idea what I’m going to do.