Page 47 of Generation Omega: Claimed (Originverse #3)

We return to that first day of school, the beginning of Tillie and me. Only now I notice what was in her eyes then—the same hardness, the same proof of pain and loss. She knew, even as a little girl, about the transformation forced on children by grief and unmet needs.

We shared trauma— clearly —but shared trauma isn’t proof that we belong together. If anything, it’s the opposite. We became each other’s crutch. That’s not a healthy foundation for a relationship. And it certainly won’t count as an answer for Kaz.

We aren’t finished.

The tour of my life continues, and it doesn’t take long to discover how much my worldview changed after losing my father.

Everything before was floating on the lazy river at my favorite water park, gently carried around the property with frequent off-ramps to other rides and yummy snacks.

Life after was defined by going against the current, always battling to get back to a place that no longer existed.

My actual fights were just me pounding on the door of fate, hitting something because my true enemy was intangible.

I think it through again. Before, I lived in the flow of life. After, I lived in the struggle.

I struggled to believe in myself.

I struggled to forgive myself for getting my father killed.

I struggled to protect Tillie from her parents’ neglect.

I struggled to give a shit about school and the future, when it was all downhill from the age of seven.

I struggled to understand myself and to believe I was good enough for Tillie.

I struggled to be there for her and keep her demons at bay.

Struggle… always struggle.

The legacy startles me by taking me into that alley where my life changed forever, revealing the events I was too weak to remember.

I hear Kaz’s voice as he pressed for my consent.

I witness him carrying me through alleys and damaged buildings, almost collapsing the entire time because he’d been poisoned by the alpha-targeted toxin in my veins.

The film speeds through the rest of the events between then and now.

By the time it reaches me and presents the reality of what my eyes look like right now, my throat is so tight I’m surprised I can breathe.

I have an uncontestable answer—not the exact one I’ve been seeking, but a piece of information that changes everything.

Things aren’t perfect with Kaz, with Tillie, or with this pack, but my entire outlook since Kaz bonded me and the omegaverse chose Tillie and accepted me…

everything is different now. I’m juggling confusion, arousal, nervousness, connection, love, excitement, and terror about the future, but not struggle, not unworthiness, not loneliness.

I know what this means. The grinding wheels of never-ending struggle and torment ceased to spin when Kaz claimed me.

And the barrier that’s still standing in my way, making me actually consider abandoning those I love most, is that I’m more comfortable in struggle than in peace, acceptance, family, pack, and home.

Holy fuck.

While the enormity of this confrontation with my deepest truth crash-lands on me, the omegaverse remains quiet, and I only feel its support.

I never would have realized this—not by tomorrow or the next day, maybe not even twenty years from now.

I would have walked away from my soul’s true home, without understanding the origin of the forces tearing me from the only happiness I ever would have found.

If not for the pushy omegaverse, I would have lost everything and maybe even destroyed what I love most—all for nothing.

Not nothing—you would have done what you thought was right, for yourself and for them. That’s not meaningless.

But it would lead to disaster, wouldn’t it?

We don’t know everything, but that is our assessment of the dire consequences of your departure.

You are the first bonded beta in the history of the world.

Your place in this pack—the last pack that may ever exist—wasn’t an accident.

You are our last desperate hope, a member of the pack who will remain grounded in reality and ensure that everyone remembers those they are meant to serve.

Your inclusion has had some unintended consequences that are terribly vexing to us—your dark alpha is becoming almost sunny, which is off-putting to say the least. But even that may serve the greater good.

Kaz… sunny ? What?! But I can’t face that one yet. And, even though I’m still reeling, that doesn’t stop me from wanting more from the all-knowing omegaverse. It’s greedy—I know that—but could I ask for something else?

Yes.

My life would be so much better if I could just forgive myself for what happened to my father. Is there any chance you could help me find a way to do that?

We can’t teach you how to forgive yourself, because that’s a mystery each soul must discover. But we can share something that will lift the weight of the burdens you carry. We will want something from you in return.

That’s ominous. What do you want?

Continue assessing the pack and its members, and your place in it. Don’t fall under the spell of a true believer. Stay wary.

The professor’s flight really took you by surprise.

Yes. Be our analyst in the world who isn’t swept up in primal drives. Not a gullible follower. Not anyone’s acolyte. An individual. A pack guardian. A beta with a vested interest in the success of the omega and her pack.

I can do that—I’ll do that anyway.

Have you decided to stay?

Yes, but I won’t share my decision—and Till doesn’t even know about my meltdown—until I’m with Kaz. He deserves to hear my answer first.

Okay, it’s a deal then.

I’m extremely nervous, and the legacy waits until I’m ready.

Your father had an undiagnosed heart defect. If he hadn’t died as a result of the fire, he would have been gone within a week or two.

“Oh my god.” My emotions riot—horror, relief, sadness, consolation. All of it unites to help me drop the weight of the sixty years I thought I’d stolen from him. I’ve never received a more incredible gift in my life.

The loss of your father made you a fixture in Tillie’s life. You gave her somewhere to be when no one was home, a place other than her closet where she felt safe.

I know.

What you don’t know is that almost a year after your father died, Tillie crept out of her house and walked to see you one night.

You opened your window, helped her inside, fed her dinner, and let her stay until morning.

She proudly wore your old clothes to school that day, rolled jeans and a green shirt with an orange truck on it.

It happened more times than I can count.

Yes, but that night there was a carbon monoxide leak in her house, when no adults were home. If not for you and your dependence on each other, Tillie would have died in her sleep on the floor of that closet, with no family to even mourn her. Fate doesn’t explain itself, but it always has a reason.

The legacy fades away, leaving me on my own.

For the first time since I was a kid, I let myself completely break down and sob—for Tillie, for me, and for Kaz.

Trauma built the walls that imprisoned us, but maybe together, we can find another way to live that honors and acknowledges where we came from, what we survived, and how limitless our potential for healing.

Fate doesn’t explain itself, but it always has a reason —I dare to believe that fate’s reasons have everything to do with this pack and our future that may just change the world for everyone.

I’m grateful for the time to grieve alone and unobserved, but when I wake with Tillie in my arms, I’m even more thankful.

“Hey, Till,” I whisper, kissing her head and holding her even closer, her robe warming us both.

“I missed you. I need more time with you, Ethan. We’re still us.”

“And we always will be.”