Page 45 of Game Changer (Hidden Attractions #2)

Maya

With a thundering heart and trembling hands, I knock softly on Ethan’s door.

It took a lot of hyping myself up to do this, but I’ve given him more than enough space. Eight days felt like an eternity when I was so used to being with him. Morning yoga. Late-night study sessions. Watching The Bachelor with the girls because, despite what he claimed, he was very invested in it.

My chest clenches at the memories when he opens the door and stills on the other side.

His hair is mussed and sticking up at the ends, and judging by the bags beneath his eyes, I’d guess he’s had trouble sleeping like me.

I’ve never been the type to hole up in my room all day, but this fight between us has revealed a different side of me.

I couldn’t gather the energy to put makeup on or do my hair when there were more important things at stake, like the future of my relationship with the one guy who has ever mattered to me.

“Hi.” It comes out as a choked whisper, but I lack the confidence to be my bubbly self. I’ve messed up twice now with Ethan, so I have no idea how this conversation will go. What I do know? I can’t take another second without hearing his thoughts. “Can I come inside?”

I hold my breath while he considers, finally nodding and stepping to the side for me to pass. My shoulder brushes his chest, and his body freezes for a heartbeat before he clears his throat and steps away from me.

Not a good sign .

Silence follows me as I take a seat on his bed. I twist my hands in my lap as I try to figure out where to start, but he beats me to it.

“You had every opportunity to tell me that night at the hotel, Maya. I asked you why you ghosted me, and you lied to my face. Whether it was to protect my feelings or not doesn’t matter. I deserved to know the truth. I deserved better than that.”

I nod, internally cursing when my vision blurs.

“That being said, I can sympathize with how hard it must be for you. It fucking sucks, to put it plainly, and I never—” He swipes his hands over his face.

“Fuck. I never knew the truth behind the saying ‘If you love something, let it go’ until now, but I can’t be the reason for a rift between you and your parents.

They mean everything to you, Maya. Everything you’ve done, everything you have sacrificed has been to make them proud, and I won’t allow you to live in constant guilt by choosing us.

And selfishly, I won’t allow myself to be put in the middle of something you’re not sure about.

I keep getting my heart wrecked by you, and I’m not saying I don’t partly understand your reasoning, but at some point, I have to value myself too. ”

If you love something let it go ?

No . No, this is all wrong.

I was supposed to come in here and we would apologize to each other and kiss and make up.

That’s how every romance movie works. It’s how every rom-com I’ve ever watched ends, and I refuse to accept that this is over between us.

Really, truly over. My expectations aren’t unrealistic.

He told me as much, so dammit, he needs to live up to this one too.

My happily ever after is with him and no one else.

“I am sure,” I whisper. “You’re the only thing I’ve ever been sure about, Ethan.”

He smiles, but it’s not a genuine one. It’s a smile filled with pity.

“I meant what I said outside of your parents’ house.

I’m in love with you, Maya, but I’ve learned to love myself, too, this year.

Truthfully? I’m tired of wearing masks in front of people, and if we were to stay together, I’d have to pretend to be someone I’m not to prove to your parents that I’m worthy of you when the truth is I’m worthy of you now.

Just as I am. And trust me, it’s a shitty realization because you are—” His voice catches.

“You’re everything to me. Always have been.

But I can’t stay in a situation where I’ll never feel like I’m enough. I hope you understand that.”

I laugh at the ceiling in frustration, desperately trying to hold my tears back. “You’re more than enough, Ethan. You’re the man of my dreams.” And I’m in love with you too .

The sentence feels meaningless when he doesn’t intend to stay with me, but I can’t find it in me to be angry with him when I understand.

He’s worked so hard to get to where he’s at in life, and my parents’ opinions threaten to tear his progress to the ground.

Even if I was to disregard what they think and run off with him, it would always be in the back of his mind.

“I was unworthy of you ,” I whisper. “You’ve always thought it was the other way around, but I envy the woman you choose to end up with because she’s going to be really lucky.

” My chin wobbles but I push through it.

“And I’m proud of you for finally realizing your worth and figuring out your passion this year.

No matter what my dad says, being a coach is nothing to be ashamed of.

You’re impacting kids’ lives, and that’s one of the hardest jobs there is.

I just . . . I wish things were different, and I wish my parents would change their minds, but—”

The mattress dips beside me, and he doesn’t think twice before tugging me into his chest. Sobs rack my body as he squeezes me tightly and buries his head in my shoulder.

I want to scream at the unfairness of all of this.

I want to tell him to run away with me and never look back, but that would only make things more complicated.

He’s right. My parents do mean the world to me, and although I’d be happy with him, it’d kill me to drive a wedge between us.

“That means a lot to me, Maya, and maybe your parents will change their minds one day, but that day isn’t today or probably anytime soon.

And you are worthy of me, don’t think for a second that you aren’t.

I can’t imagine ever ending up with someone else because in every dream of mine, it’s always been you, but I love you too much to rip you away from your family. ”

I fall apart in his arms, hating that this is the last time I’ll ever hold him.

I don’t want to let go, and it seems he doesn’t want to, either, because we stay locked in an embrace far longer than we should.

Seconds pass, and then minutes before finally, he pulls away and wipes his eyes with the sleeve of his sweatshirt.

They’re red and puffy, likely a reflection of mine, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t make sense of this situation.

We both love each other. We both want to end up together. And yet we can’t make this work. Outside factors are forcing us apart, and I can’t do anything to stop it. It’s exhausting trying to fight the inevitable.

Right person, wrong time has never rung more true.

“I hope you get everything you’ve ever wanted out of life.

” His words are like a kiss to my fractured heart.

“I hope you recognize how talented you are, and I hope that if your parents can’t accept us, they will accept you .

Your aspirations, passions, and everything that makes you so unique.

You’re one of a kind. Never forget that. ”

I’m a blubbering mess when he presses his lips to the crown of my head and rises to his feet.

There’s so much I want to say, but I can’t bring myself to speak when it won’t make a difference.

Everything we’ve built over the past three months is crumbling to the ground.

It’s fading into a barren wasteland filled with the possibilities of what could have been, and all I want is for my feelings to vanish with it.

I’m self-aware enough to realize that’s a lie, though.

I don’t want to forget a single minute with Ethan Davis.

From sharing the last bite of ice cream to playing chicken with his sister in the pool.

Our first kiss in his parents’ car. Our first night together in the hot tub.

All those moments led to me becoming the person I am today, and this year, not only did he discover himself, but he helped me discover myself too.

My only regret is not being truthful with him from the very beginning. I thought it was in his best interest, but it only turned around to bite me in the ass.

The truth is, I deserve all the repercussions.

Including losing him.

“I’m so sorry for everything, Ethan. For not being truthful with you, and for everything that went down at my parents.

You didn’t deserve it. Any of it. But I also need you to know that I don’t choose them over you.

I made my decision a while ago, and if you asked me to today, I’d run away with you without any hesitation to start a life together. I’d pick you over them.”

His gaze softens, and his fists are clenched at his sides, like he’s physically incapable of keeping his distance from me. “I know,” he whispers through tears of his own. “But I can’t allow you to make that decision. I won’t .”

When I reach his door, I turn to get my last fill of him. Blue, glassy irises, full lips, and messy hair I love to run my fingers through. He’s my favorite person. He’s my person, and although my parents don’t approve of him now, maybe they will in time, and if that ever happens . . .

There’s not a single person on this earth who could keep me away from him.

~

Two hours later, I’m back beneath the safety of my comforter with my laptop playing a Hallmark holiday movie that Maddie swore would make me feel better.

I know I look like hell because she hates these types of films, and yet she practically begged me to stay on a video chat so we could hit play at the same time and watch it together.

My eyes are swollen and red after confiding in Maddie about the breakup with Ethan. I had to come clean sooner rather than later before word got back to her about the real reason we had to end things. The secret I kept not only from Ethan, but from her too.