Page 1 of Game Changer (Hidden Attractions #2)
Ethan
It used to be that when I looked in the mirror, all I saw was a failure.
It started in high school when I joined varsity football with my best friend, Cameron.
I was talented but Cameron was better, and before each game, I’d think of all the plays I’d inevitably fuck up, disappointing the hundreds of people on the bleachers.
That would lead to me sneaking off to the locker room to hang my head between my knees with my throat feeling like it was closing and my heart racing a million beats per minute.
After community college, I decided to take a gap year, start over somewhere new, and create a fresh beginning for myself here at State.
What else was I supposed to do after my extracurriculars were out of the way and I still had no clue what I wanted to do with my life?
Cameron is starting his senior year now, basically a shoo-in for the NFL when he graduates, and my little sister, Maddie, is a sophomore studying to become a fucking doctor .
And I’m . . . well, I’m unpacking boxes in my new dorm room with a knot in my stomach and clammy hands because I can’t help wondering what the hell I’m doing here.
Attending Arizona State University seemed like the right thing at first. Continuing my education was a logical move, but now that I’m here, the mind that’s supposed to propel me forward is doing the opposite.
Do you actually think you can graduate?
Why would you succeed at this when you’ve royally sucked at everything else?
You lost your virginity to the girl of your dreams, and she still didn’t want to date you.
You’re a loser.
A weak, spineless—
No. I refuse to fall back into that mindset when I’ve worked so hard over the past year to change my perspective.
I’m taking medication now. I’ve gone through countless counseling sessions to create a better mental space, and this is the year I’ll find my life’s purpose.
I’m making it my mission to accomplish that, and thinking negatively won’t help.
“Are you Ethan?”
Lifting my eyes from the box I’ve been staring into for the past ten minutes, I see a tall, lanky guy about my age poking his head around the plastic bin he’s holding.
He’s got a goofy smile on his face and he’s wearing braces, which makes me smile back because it reminds me of Cameron when he was younger.
“Yeah, man. And I’m assuming you’re Leonardo?”
He cringes. “Leo. Just Leo. Leonardo makes me seem like even more of a nerd than I already am.” Setting the bin on the twin bed across from mine, he adds, “Hope you’re okay with Star Wars posters, because those babies are packed in here.” He pats the bin for emphasis.
I shrug and reach into my box to pull out a stack of video games. “So long as you’re okay with me having these.”
“ Dude . Is that the new Cowboy Slayer that came out last month?” His bin is forgotten as he closes the distance between us to look at the other titles in my hands. “Oh, we’re going to be great roommates.”
The knot in my stomach loosens slightly.
At least one thing worked out in my favor today.
Leo is talkative as hell while we unpack the rest of our things.
He reveals that he’s part of the AV club here, which fits the bill given his button-up polo with outlines of various radios and laptops on it.
Black-rimmed glasses stand out starkly against his pale, freckled skin.
He’s quirky, but at least we’re into the same things.
Leo rambles on about his love for anime while I send a quick text to my parents to let them know I’m settled in.
They wanted to help, but I preferred they didn’t.
I love my parents, but they can be overdramatic about these kinds of things.
My mom is the type who’d bake a batch of cookies and deliver them to everyone on the floor, and my dad would tell embarrassing childhood stories about me to my new roommate.
It’s not until I’m putting the sheets on my mattress that I hear a familiar throaty laugh.
It’s a sound I’ve memorized by heart. A laugh that no matter how hard I’ve tried to forget over the past five months, I just can’t.
The way it sounded pressed against my ear, and the little gasps that followed.
Those sounds have haunted me every night since the best one of my life, and I’m still wondering why everything fell apart so damn quickly afterward.
I know, without a shadow of a doubt, who is about to pass by my wide-open door.
Maya Garcia, the woman of my dreams, saunters down the hallway with three other girls glued to her side.
Those honey-brown eyes lock on mine, and she freezes on the spot, one of the girls running into her back at the abruptness.
Her full, pink lips pop open in surprise before she swallows thickly and says to the girls, “I’ll catch up with you guys in a few, okay? ”
They scurry off giggling when I join her in the hallway, shutting the door and leaving a confused Leo behind.
Coming to State wasn’t only a way for me to do something with my life, but it was also a way to escape my small town of Wickenburg, which is home to every memory I have of her.
It’s a small enough place that everyone knows everyone, and my anxiety was only heightened whenever I went to the store, the coffee shop, the movies.
I didn’t want to run into her, and although State is only an hour away, I thought it’d be enough distance to escape her.
But now she’s here .
Right in front of me.
“How have you been?” she asks, shifting awkwardly. I lift a brow, but before I reply, she says, “That was a stupid thing to ask. Sorry.”
My eyes flick to the way she chews on her bottom lip, wishing I was the one doing it instead. In fact, I remember doing that five months ago.
A thousand questions are on the tip of my tongue, but I ignore them and go for something safer.
“I thought you were in the cosmetology program?” We went to the same community college before this, and I assumed she’d be off gathering clientele after graduating from the program, not transferring to the same four-year university as me.
She already accomplished what she set out to do, right?
“I was. I mean, I finished the program, but my parents wanted me to get a”—she finger quotes—“ legitimate degree, so I’m majoring in business.
I didn’t know you were transferring here too.
Have you chosen a major yet?” Something akin to hope lines her features, but although I’m working on it, I’m still the same guy she took a chance on only to wind up disappointed.
“Nope. Still trying to figure it out.”
Her smile falters before she drops her eyes to her white-painted toes, clad in a pair of sparkly sandals.
It’s late August, and the heat is slowly but surely becoming more bearable, but it’s still well into the nineties.
I can’t blame her for wearing the shortest ripped jeans shorts she can find with a pink crop top that showcases her silky tan skin, but all it does is make me want to ask her what I did wrong to make her disappear without an explanation.
We slept together after years of pent-up tension and then, just when I thought we were getting somewhere, she bailed on us before we even had a chance to start.
Was the sex bad?
Of course it was, idiot.
You lost your virginity to her.
Positive thinking! I mentally snap at myself.
“Well, I’m sure it’ll come to you,” she says.
She hikes up the duffel bag slung over her shoulder, wincing from the weight of it.
I reach out to take it from her, but she shakes her head and lets out another giggle that calls to the depths of my soul.
“No need. I’m actually . . .” She scans the hallway before landing on the door next to mine.
Oh no.
Fuck no.
There is no way the universe would be this cruel to me.
“I guess we’ll be seeing a lot of each other,” she says.
It’s meant to be a joke to lighten the mood, but I don’t have the energy in me to laugh.
Despite my broken heart, I want the very best for her, but I came to State to try and forget her.
To grow up and figure out what to do with my life.
I didn’t intend on living next to the one person who, for the first time in my life, had me telling my anxiety to go fuck itself so I could take my chance with her.
And now anxiety is coming back to seek its revenge. One look at her angelic face is threatening to undo months of healing when I promised myself I’d never go back to such a low point.
Maddie warned me about this happening, but I ignored all the red flags.
I knew when my sister brought Maya home from school in the eighth grade that she would be dangerous, and I’m not talking about her looks.
Sure, she’s stunning and could be a supermodel if she pursued it, but her looks aren’t what drew my attention when we first met.
I was a sophomore in high school at the time, and she was way too young to catch my interest in that way.
It was her fiery personality that had me intrigued when she followed Maddie into our living room like a tornado and proceeded to chat away like she wasn’t nervous at all.
Maya is the life of the party. Outgoing and fearless, she lights up any room she walks into. She’s the center of attention whether she wants to be or not, and as we got older, she embedded herself in my mind until no other woman would suffice.
It was a stupid dream that she’d ever give me a chance.
I’m five eleven with a dad bod, which is nowhere near her type.
I saw her exes on social media, and all of them were tatted, buff, and towered over her.
She never dated them long; a few weeks at most. And that should have been my first sign that her sleeping with me didn’t mean it would become serious.
Maya likes to have fun. She likes to flirt. She likes the chase.
I got so caught up in her game that I forgot the rules entirely.
“Hey, Garcia.” A guy interrupts us, tugging at her silky black ponytail before he winks and continues on his way.
Her cheeks redden in response, and all it does is make me more infuriated.
Garcia . She’s already made connections and it’s only our first day on campus.
Then again, looking the way she does while simultaneously being a social butterfly would have anyone kill to be her friend.
Maya is a lot of things, but she’s loyal to the very core, and my sister is lucky to have her as her best friend.
I just wish that loyalty extended to me.
“Well, I should get going.” She flicks her eyes over me briefly, a sad smile tugging at her lips. “It’s good to see you, Ethan.”
“I wish I could say the same.” It’s out before I can stop it, and I don’t miss the hurt that flashes across her face.
Maya being here is just another reminder of why I shouldn’t be here.
I’ve fucked up everything good in my life, and a bachelor’s degree will just be another item on my never-ending list.
A tanked football career.
Grades that will never compare to Maddie’s.
Sleeping with Maya and letting her slip through my fingers before I could call her mine.
Before the anxiety threatens to consume me whole, I open the door to my room and shut it with my back, leaving her out in the hallway alone.
I would feel like an ass, but I’m not the one who said it couldn’t work between us two weeks after we slept together and then proceeded to never even text me again.
Now she wants to act like we’re old friends? Like nothing happened?
Like she didn’t moan my name and shatter against me three times in one night?
Leo glances up from the book he’s reading. “ And you pull hot women? Yeah, this is going to be the best year ever .”
And just like that, Leo gets added to the list of people I’m inevitably going to disappoint.