Page 19

Llywelyn, James, Daniel and Tudor had squeezed into a corner booth, and James was patting the bench to his side with a smile.

I had hardly spoken to Tudor or Llywelyn in years but they both smiled in a way that was equally as welcoming.

Daniel held up a fruity cocktail in welcome, like Hiraeth’s Great Gatsby.

I was shocked to find out that Hiraeth’s local pub even did fruity cocktails now.

When I’d been younger it was one kind of lager for the men and gin and tonics for the women.

The little village really was starting to oh-so-glacially move with the times.

“So,” said James, bold as brass, “what brings you here, really? I run a coffee shop and since all those actors went home I’m running out of gossip.”

I laughed, more to give myself a second to respond. “Just to see Uncle Prentis over Christmas. It’s been a while.”

“Good man, your uncle,” said James. I nodded in agreement at the same time I realised how little I actually had seen Prentis since I’d arrived. I’d really have to rectify that as soon as I could. I took a long drink of my first pint.

“We have places at the hotel now, if you’d rather not stay in Aberystwyth anymore,” said Tudor.

I drank another gulp before answering. “I’m all good, thank you for the offer though. I’ve found a place to stay and I’m settled there now.”

“How’s your car coming along?” asked Llywelyn. I noticed his hand was entwined with James’ on the table, and a brief glance made it clear that Daniel and Tudor were doing the same under the table.

“It’s…fine, fine,” I said. “Macsen is taking care of it.”

“Grumpy bastard isn’t he,” said Tudor.

“Flirty fella,” said Daniel, and my stomach tightened.

“No, definitely grumpy,” said Llywelyn. All four of them laughed.

“He only flirted with you, cariad, ” said Tudor to Daniel. “And only cos you’re fit and famous. Mac’s default is definitely moody prick.”

James’ eyes widened. “Speak of the devil…” he held up a hand to wave at the other side of the bar. I felt my face flush, and my heart thudded irregularly against my ribcage. Here? Really? Now?

I had no idea how to act around Macsen in public, but I knew as soon as those rough workers’ hands placed down a pint of beer in front of me, tattoos poking out from under his sleeves, that I was a goner.

Something little felt like it had shifted inside me since we’d spoken. Since he’d acknowledged that we both obviously wanted each other. And now, contrary to us agreeing how things were going to be moving forward, I didn’t know how to act around him.

He sat right next to me in that little booth, one leg stretched lazily against my own as he effortlessly joined in the conversation.

I zoned out, so focused only on the feeling of both our legs pressed up against one another.

I realised how warm my face felt, and unzipped and draped the coat over the back of the chair.

“Hey, I had a coat like that,” said Daniel absentmindedly. I froze momentarily. “Gave it to the charity shop last week.”

I didn’t know what to say. I wouldn’t ever admit to being ashamed of buying at a charity shop, but then again I’d never normally admit to buying from charity shops in the first place.

“You had that on a few weeks ago, didn’t you?” said James. He raised one eyebrow as he looked me dead in the eyes. “I remember you wearing it when you first came into the cafe.”

“Yeah, I did. Must have the same sense of style,” I said, hoping I wasn’t being too obvious. I felt Macsen shift next to me.

“What are you doing in town?” I asked Macsen quietly as conversation turned towards some kind of competition Daniel was holding in the hotel in a couple of months’ time.

“Y’know, you were late,” he muttered. “I just…wanted to check on you. The café was closed and you weren’t at Prentis’ house.”

I felt my cheeks flush with heat again despite the lack of coat. He’d gone over to my uncle’s house to check on me? “That’s…” I wanted to say sweet , but I thought maybe surly, masculine Macsen wouldn’t take it as the compliment that I intended. “Thank you. I appreciate it.”

“No worries,” he grunted. He looked back toward the group and I realised we’d been pulled back into the conversation.

“How’s business, Mac? Want us to send anyone your way?” asked Daniel.

“Nope, plenty busy. All good.”

I knew that things had slowed down hugely in the run up to Christmas, so I nudged him. But he didn’t correct himself and it wasn’t my place to force him to work more.

“I’m off for a fag, fancy joining me?” James gave me yet another pointed glance. I nodded, unsure of where this was going.

“You don’t smoke,” said Llywelyn to James, at the same time Macsen said it to me.

Eyes across the table shifted to Macsen, and he picked up his beer to take a large swig, ignoring them as pointedly as he could.

James stood, forcing me and Macsen to stand.

He pushed me from the booth, grabbing both of our coats as he walked.

Outside was freezing now the sun was down, and a couple of locals were smoking outside. James handed me my coat to out on and I hung it over my shoulders.

“You too, then?” he said.

“Me too?”

“Another lonely stray. Here with nothing.”

“How do you know that?”

“I helped Daniel decide what to put in the charity bag, and that coat has a button I sewed back on personally to make sure it was presentable.”

“So what if I bought it from a charity shop?” I asked, almost choking on my own hypocrisy.

“So what is I saw how uncomfortable you are with the question. In this town, if you ask someone where they bought their jacket, cheap is a point of pride . But I had money in London too. And I know how difficult it can be to adjust to small town life.”

“Adjust? I’m from here ,” I said.

“I know. But you’re still adjusting. But you’ve been snared, haven’t you? The way you look at Macsen is exactly how I realised Llywelyn looked at me. That’s what made me stay here.”

“Nah. It’s not for me, I left here a long time ago, and I love London.”

“Whatever you say,” replied James. “I just brought you out here to let you know I’m here to talk. And that Macsen is looking at you like a fucking snack.”

“Sweet Jesus.” I sighed as I followed James back into the stifling warmth of the pub.

Macsen shifted to allow James back into the booth, but moved to sit back down quickly so that I was forced to the outside of the bench rather than on the inside.

Daniel and Tudor weren’t present, and James had practically sat himself down on Llywelyn’s lap.

When I was younger Llywelyn hadn’t seemed the romantic type but now I couldn’t see him being anything but.

He was a safe pair of very large hands for James, and that seemed to be exactly what James needed.

I looked at Macsen, and he was looking at them both with a completely inscrutable expression.

Was he jealous? Disgusted? I reached past him to grab my beers, and when I moved back into position I placed one pinky finger over his hand.

He didn’t even look at me, but his pinky moved to link with my own.

James shouted over at something in the crowd and we both broke apart.

“Shots! Shots! Shots!” Daniel and Tudor were pushing their way through the crowd with two trays full of various alcoholic beverages, and I rolled my eyes.

“Right, let’s do some games with this,” said James. “I want a game of never have I ever.” The whole group groaned like they’d all been subjected to this before.

“Ground rules!” called Llywelyn before he grabbed a shot from the tray and downed it.

My memories of him as a shy, reserved man were obviously no longer correct.

“You only have to explain if you’re the only drinker, otherwise your lips are sealed.

” He started to distribute the shots between all of us, so we all had a good few each.

“Never have I ever,” started Tudor, “sucked dick in the beach caves.”

“Twat,” said James, taking a shot.

I looked around the group before taking my own shot. “What the fuck?” Llywelyn and Tudor were looking at me.

“My lips are sealed,” I responded. They didn’t need to know my teenage escapades. “You, though?” I asked James. I knew that the caves had been a common haunt for teenagers when I was younger, but had no idea he’d ever been involved in any way.

“No questions, no lies,” he replied. Llywelyn smirked behind that bushy beard.

“Right, my turn,” said Daniel. “Never have I ever had sex in the hotel.”

Every single one of us except Macsen reached for a shot, and laughter rang between us in between coughing and spluttering. I fucking hated Sambuca. “That was hookup central when we were teenagers,” I said to him. “Pay one night or just ask Tudor for a key and you were well in.”

“Well, we’re not renting by the hour now,” Daniel muttered. “Not that kind of hotel.”

“Right, my go!” James shouted. He locked eyes with me, and I felt my stomach roll. Fear? Nerves? Probably all of the above. “Never have I ever shagged a mechanic.”

Nice. I could lie, but that wasn’t the spirit of the game. I looked at Macsen as I grabbed a shot, vaguely aware of Daniel doing the same on the other side of the table. I did my best not to care about anyone else as I raised the shot to my lips.

“Alaw’s going to be furious that you’ve been doing it with Alun!” Llywelyn laughed, even as eyes swivelled between me and Macsen.

“Hey, I never said it was here. Could’ve been London.”

“It wasn’t though, was it?” Macsen muttered.

I couldn’t tell if the rest of the group had heard.

When I looked at him, he almost looked…annoyed?

Did he want me to admit to what we’d done…

what we were doing, right here in front of these people?

I allowed myself a second to imagine. His hand was so close to mine, I could just reach over and grab it properly.

I could kiss him as freely as James and Llywelyn had kissed at the table.

It was disgustingly domestic. But it was tempting.

“Right, my turn.” Daniel looked around at the group. “Never have I ever fallen for a man from Hiraeth.”

As both he and James took a shot from the table and laughed, I stayed resolutely still. Macsen and I looked at one another, just for a second. Neither of us reached for a shot.