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It was a few hours later when like clockwork Hywel knocked on the metal shutter and ducked under it.

I was working on his car by buffing out the minor scratches and hammering out the dents that I could — though the parts still hadn’t come in by my own design, there was little else to work on.

I had no high end clients in and the regular customers; the bread and butter of my business, were not coming in as Christmas was a rare time to buy a car.

No sales at Christmas meant no yearly MOTs coming in either.

“Come in,” I called. But he was already standing over me with a bowl of soup and a plate full of bread.

“Cold,” he said. “So I thought this might warm you up.”

“Thanks…” I muttered. I still didn’t know where his head was at with all of this — was he being extra domestic now? Or had all the domesticity led to last night’s action? Was he lying when he said he didn’t want to do it all again? Was I?

“Just take the soup and eat it,” said Hywel. “Stop overthinking things. I didn’t think you had enough cells in that brain to overthink things.”

I snorted. His barbed comments didn’t sound as sincere as mine once had been to him. They sounded…like he was being funny with a friend. And I didn’t know how I felt about that.

I took the plate and bowl gently, like they might explode if I didn’t handle them with care. I took care not to brush his fingers with my own, much as I wanted…no, didn’t want, no… Fuck . Could life get any more confusing?

Another knock at the shutter answered that question. “Hello?” called a familiar voice.

I looked to Hywel first, and he was looking at me. He looked panicked though I had no idea why. I, meanwhile, was panicking for very legitimate reasons.

“Hello? Mac? Are you in here?” came the familiar female voice again.

“Here, Mam.” I waved from where we sat at the back of the workshop. She walked toward us and I flicked an extra light on overhead so that she could see us properly without her eyes adjusting.

She was wearing a nice wool cardigan and she’d cut her hair since the last time I saw her a month or so before. When she spotted Hywel and I her eyes widened in shock.

“Well, there’s a face I haven’t seen in a while. How are you, lovely boy?” She walked forward and pulled Hywel into a hug. His eyes bugged out at me from her shoulder.

She released him and looked at me. “So, things going well?”

“Very.”

“Good.”

“Why are you here, Mam?” This was how we were around one another. A strained impasse after years of telling me how disappointed she was in me. No hug for me, just one for a man she hadn’t seen in years and whom she’d let say I wasn’t good enough once upon a time.

“Thing is, I completely forgot my MOT was due. And the clutch is making an awful squeaking noise. I was wondering if you could maybe take a look for me?”

“Alright, I’ll take a look for you. Drop your keys here and I’ll call you in the morning.”

It stung a little that she’d only dropped in when she needed me.

I went over for the odd lunch or cup of tea, but not once in ten years had she dropped in on me for a cuppa or a gossip.

I knew she went out of her way to call Gruff on a weekly basis to talk about his work in Cardiff and just generally check how he was doing.

“Thanks, love.” Mam took the car key off her keys and dropped it into my palm. She turned to Hywel. “And what are you doing here?”

Hywel seemed to freeze up for a second. Was he so embarrassed to be staying with me?

“He’s having his car fixed up and visiting Prentis for Christmas,” I said when he didn’t answer after another second. He looked my way gratefully and I gestured to the Aston Martin.

“Oh, how lovely is that? Amazing that you’ve managed such success. You should see Gruff’s car now. He’s got a lovely Jaguar. In fact, he’s down this weekend? Why don’t you come for dinner this Sunday. Both of you.”

Hywel still hadn’t spoken, so I made a pretence of dropping my Mam’s key off on the workbench at the back of the shop and poked at Hywel’s behind with my finger to snap him out of it.

“Yes, of course, would be lovely,” Hywel said in a rush. “I’d love to.”

Mam turned to me, her eyes inscrutable. Did she actually want me there? And how excruciating would it be to be sat between Gruff and Hywel for the first time in a decade?

I settled for “Yeah, whatever. I should be able to make it.”

“Great. Thanks again for the car stuff, I’ll see you tomorrow for the car…and Sunday for lunch.” And with a cheery wave, Mam left us.

“Well. That was thrilling,” I said. Hywel was still staring off into the distance, so I sat at the workbench and finished off the now lukewarm soup he had brought me.

“What’s up?” I asked him.

“Truth or strip?” Hywel said with a wry smile. He seemed to struggle with his words, grinding his teeth visibly until it all just came out at once.

“You asked me yesterday why I came here. Why I chose to stay here, rather than get a hotel or rent somewhere for the month? Brian didn’t just cheat on me.

He cheated me out of money too. He was a lousy partner and a lousier business partner, and he conned me out of all my savings.

So I have fuck all left. I came home to the one place in the world I didn’t think would cost me the Earth.

I might have been able to afford Tudor’s hotel if there wasn’t a convention there, but I couldn’t afford to commute from Aber. And Prentis has no room for me.”

“So what are you doing here? Waiting for your money back from him?” I asked.

“Yeah, something like that,” said Hywel. “So it’s embarrassing seeing your mum because she likes me. And always pushed Gruff to be more like me. And I’m a big fat fraud because I hardly have any money to my fucking name. But I’m pretending to everyone else that I do.”

“Good thing you’re paying for my labour in rent rebates,” I joked. Half-joked, anyway.

Hywel sat on the floor next to his car and rubbed at the knees of his trousers. He looked so lost and hopeless that it was like watching him slip away into the current of a river.

“I have a Master’s Degree, you know,” I said. I didn’t have a clue what had prompted me to admit to it. But if we were both being a little bit honest with each other, why not?

“Really? In what?” Hywel asked.

“Automotive Engineering. After Mam got all angry with me that day and I moved in with my grandparents, I started my apprenticeship here and thought fuck her. I’d prove her wrong somehow.

So I got my Bachelor’s as soon as I finished my apprenticeship, and completed my Master’s 3 years after that, part time whilst working here. ”

“Bloody hell, well done!” Hywel looked impressed. Which is exactly why I didn’t tell people. “I don’t have a Master’s degree, I had to drop out when work got too tough.”

“Well, some of us are made of sterner stuff,” I joked.

“Seriously though, why don’t you tell more people about it? You should have it framed on the wall here somewhere.” Hywel looked around like I might have, and he’d missed it somehow.

“Because…I initially got it to prove my parents wrong.” And you, I added in my head.

“And then after 3 years of work to get my first degree I realised I just didn’t care.

And after the Master’s, I really didn’t care.

I advertise that online to get my higher-calibre clients, but as my Mam has never bothered to check out the website I set up for this place years ago I doubt she’s ever going to find out. ”

“You should tell her,” Hywel said. “She’d be proud of you.”

“She’d be proud of me for being more like you ,” I said.

“I wish she’d been proud of me for being me .

Every year that Gruff was at university my parents had to scrape together pennies to send him to help him live in London.

I earned money throughout my apprenticeship.

I supported myself through university and worked here the whole time and you know what?

I feel most proud of myself for getting that apprenticeship in the first place.

That is what made me who I am today. Alun and Steff reaching out with openness and kindness towards a skinny little kid with no prospects and no hope. ”

“You can be proud of both,” said Hywel quietly.

“Well, my Mam is more proud of you for having a shiny Aston Martin than she is of me for knowing how to fix it. So maybe things wouldn’t change even if she knew.”

“I hate that fucking car,” said Hywel. “I bought it when I had three hundred grand. Because I had that much money for the first time. And I thought I was going to be on the up and up for life. Well, I peaked there I think. Never had that much cash in hand again. It was all assets and liquidity from then on. And London’s traffic and congestion charges meant it was fucking expensive to take anywhere.

And the petrol, my God the petrol. I’ve had to cancel my insurance on it too for now, so I can’t even drive it out of here. ”

At the start of the week, it might have brought me some perverse joy to see Hywel brought low. “I hope you get your money back soon, mate,” I said. And I meant it.

“No worries. My own stupid life decisions have come back to haunt me. And now I’ve got to sit down with your parents and pretend everything is alright and life is going swimmingly.”

“I’ll tell them I’m pregnant if that helps? Take the pressure off you a bit?” I gave him a smile that thankfully was returned.

“They’ll only hope I’m the father,” he said. “Get you a nice rich university educated boy.”

“C’mon, it’s quiet. Let me show you something.” I led Hywel out of the garage and to the yard. “You think your Aston is expensive to run, you should have a baby like this.”

My car was my pride and joy, and though most wouldn’t expect much from the outside she was a little beast to run. I’d personally spray painted the little 1996 Golf GTi in purple and given it gold rims.

“It’s all a bit…gaudy, isn’t it?” said Hywel. I got the feeling he was being polite.

“Yeah, but she’s fast. Turbocharged engine, customised suspension, bucket seats and entertainment system. Plus, if I bump her it doesn’t feel as painful as knocking something like an Aston Martin…and I like gaudy. It’s very 90s.”

“You hardly remember the 90s!”

“Yeah, well, we were poor. So I had a Gameboy and Pokemon, I was just 6 years behind everyone else.”

“So culturally, we’re the same age?” joked Hywel.

“Sure. If that makes you feel younger, old man. You’ll be forty before I turn thirty five and that’s all that matters in this world.”

We both went quiet for a moment. Had I acknowledged this as some kind of lasting friendship? I didn’t know. Hywel looked like he’d cheered up a little bit but not entirely.

“Fancy a ride, old man?” I asked. His eyes widened and he looked me up and down. “No, stupid. In the car. I can drive ridiculously irresponsibly down these lanes and no one will ever know.”

Hywel smiled. “Go on then. Let’s dice with death.”