Page 10 of Full Body Hit, Part 2 (Alpha Omega Hockey #6)

AUSTON

A uston wasn’t sure how it was possible to be jealous of himself. Not envious, but jealous , a resentful, clawed feeling that was ripping him up.

And yet he couldn’t stop digging his fingers into the bruise.

“Things going well with your partner?” Auston asked, not even knowing what he wanted to hear. The obvious answer was, Yes. Yes, it’s going well. It’s going amazing. He’s the love of my life.

And yet there was that beast hissing at him again—if Chase said no, they had a chance.

It meant that maybe Auston could win.

Sure, it would be against his alter ego, but it still fucking counted.

Chase wiped his mouth with a napkin. They were sitting in a little café that did the best paninis in New Orleans. Auston wasn’t sure how he kept convincing Chase to go out for lunch with him—there’d been a week there when it had been clear Chase was trying to pull away.

Auston had thought about giving him space. He really had.

And then the moment in the car had happened.

Auston had never wished to be able to scent Chase more desperately. To know what the Omega was feeling.

It hadn’t just been Auston, had it? Sitting there in the magnetised air, craving touch so strongly it hurt ?

Chase had given every sign that he’d wanted it. Had tilted his cheek into his palm. Peered at him with those liquid eyes of his.

Begging.

But maybe Auston was projecting—wanted Chase so badly he was filling in the gaps with longing.

“Oh,” Chase said. “Good. Yeah, really good.”

A pronged stab of pain and pleasure. “Yeah? You don’t talk about him much. What’s he like?” These were the kinds of fucking conversations he should be avoiding.

Chase frowned slightly, eyes and mouth going soft. “He’s…kind. Thoughtful. Generous. A real caretaker, you know? He genuinely cares about how I am instead of how he wants me to be.”

The resentment melted at the softness on Chase’s face—the simple joy that lit it up.

“And he’s really smart, too, and hardworking. Gives the best advice.” Chase shrugged. “He’s awesome.”

Auston cleared his suddenly tight throat. “That’s great.”

Chase beamed at him. “Yeah. I’m super lucky to have found him, honestly.”

“I’m sure he feels the same way,” Auston couldn’t help but add.

Chase’s cheeks went pink. “I hope so. What about you, though? I’ve never asked if you have a partner.”

“Oh. Uh…it’s complicated.”

And, there—a twitch of Chase’s face. A noise at the back of his throat—surprise, maybe.

Or disappointment.

Auston shook himself mentally. Really? This was where things had gotten to? Dissecting every fucking sound, cutting into the skin of every moment, digging around in its guts, obsessive.

He needed to get his shit together.

Chase nodded. “Oh. Have you known them long?”

“A few months. Feels like forever, though. He’s…special. It’s more the situation that’s complicated.”

“Right. Has he been to games? Does he like hockey?”

Auston snorted—of course Chase’s brain always ended up at hockey. “He hasn’t watched a game yet, but he loves it. A big Sammy fan, actually.”

Chase sat up straighter, smile spreading across his face. “Seriously? Sammy .”

“Can’t account for taste.”

“Hey!” Chase admonished.

Auston laughed, raising up a placating hand. “Joking.”

Chase hummed doubtfully. “So you’re dating a hockey fan, but he’s not even a fan of you ?”

“I’m working on it,” Auston promised.

Chase laughed—not a tinkle or a giggle but a tough, honking noise.

Fuck, Auston wanted to kiss him.

He pressed the thought away.

“Talking about Sammy, I’ve been meaning to ask—those bone things you got him a few months ago. He like ’em?”

“Oh, yeah. Scares Noah with them all the time.”

Auston huffed and rolled his eyes.

“Hey—you were pretty scared in that shop, mister. Don’t think I didn’t notice.”

“Excuse me, I wasn’t scared . That place was fucking creepy.”

“Sure…”

“I’m not scared of anything,” Auston proclaimed.

Now it was Chase’s turn to roll his eyes. “That’s not very smart. You should be scared of some things.”

“Oh, yeah? Give me some pointers, then. What are you scared of?”

Just like that, Chase’s smile dimmed. “Well…yeah, I guess it’s not stuff you have to worry about. You’ve done all the things I’m scared I’ll never be able to do.” He gave Auston a cracked laugh. “It has to be nice to look back on your career and know you’ve achieved so much.”

“Sure. But it’s also nice to look forward and know you have all the awesome things you still get to experience. To have that much fucking potential.”

Chase opened his mouth. Closed it. The frown cleared from his face as he nodded slowly. “Yeah. I guess it is.”

Silence fell. Auston had to eventually break it. “Actually, I do have one fear.”

Chase raised his eyebrows. Auston leaned in to share the secret, Chase following suit.

“Slugs kind of freak me out,” he whispered.

Chase’s laughter cracked the moment open, and Auston wanted to make that happen a million times. Wanted to thread his atoms with the sound, with the expression on Chase’s face, his squinted eyes and wide lips.

It struck him suddenly—he’d done what he set out to achieve. He’d befriended Chase. Closed the gap between himself and Aunix.

Chase liked him. Trusted him, to a certain point.

There was no fucking reason to keep his identity a secret anymore.

Fear was a paralytic that shot through him.

No—that couldn’t be right. It was too soon. Chase was…happy. Relaxed. They were in a good place, but he needed a little more time.

Just a few more days, and it’d be just right.

***

Chase was panting so loud Auston couldn’t hear anything else over the speakers of his TV. He’d finally gone ahead and linked his phone to a big screen.

He should have fucking done it ages ago.

Chase’s thighs were shaking as he fucked himself on the dildo, cock a deep red from the cock ring squeezing the base.

“Pl-please. Please.” The word was choked out of Chase on every thrust—Auston wasn’t sure if he was conscious he was saying it.

They’d been at it for a while, Auston’s cock hard against his thigh, making everything wet.

The skin where a knot would grow was aching in a way he’d never experienced out of a rut or heat—as if it were about to pop.

He wasn’t even touching himself. Couldn’t, or he’d shoot the second he laid a finger on his dick. He was just sitting there, eyes trained on the screen, body coiled tight, nails digging divots into his palms.

It had been days since he’d realised there was no longer a reason to keep his identity from Chase. He shouldn’t be doing this. Wasn’t he doing all this for Chase? To befriend him? Earn his trust, not trick it out of him?

But that was bullshit, wasn’t it? From the fucking beginning, this hadn’t been about Chase. It was about Auston. About the fact that he was such a goddamn coward, he’d rather get what he could from Chase than risk being rejected.

After every rationalisation was stripped away, all that was left was fear, a raw nerve that screamed if it was touched.

It was sick. He was sick. Pathetic, sitting on his couch, turned-on but utterly unable to even jerk off, a pit inside him growing bigger, and bigger, and bigger. It was going to swallow him up because this wasn’t really his.

Chase was going to realise who Aunix was and it would end, just like that.

So he was taking one last morsel. One last look at Chase filled with pleasure because of him.

“Daddy,” Chase pleaded, and Auston shuddered all over.

God, he couldn’t fucking breathe. “Okay,” he rasped. “Take it off. You can come.”

Chase began sobbing immediately, hands fumbling the clasp on the cock ring. The sound he let out when it was loose wasn’t human, a ragged groan of pain and pleasure, and then he was doubling over and coming.

Auston watched. He let the sight of that relief wash through him. The feeling of giving Chase one last thing. Of belonging to him one last time.

“ Daddy ,” Chase cried, a desperate, loving thing.

Auston closed his eyes and tried to lock this feeling inside him, where he could visit it when all this was finally gone.

***

He tried to confess.

He invited Chase out to lunch—it was too public. Back to his place—the sight of him amongst Auston’s things was too sweet to spoil.

At the arena? No, that was their workplace. In a parked car? Too intimate.

Today, today, today , he told himself, but the days slipped away, and he did nothing.

There was always tomorrow, until even that ran out.

***

There was something in the air. A tension that was making Auston’s skin feel taut, too small for his body.

He took a deep breath, but there was nothing more than the familiar scents of the locker room before a game—sweat, pads, his teammate’s pheromones.

There were a few jitters from the call-up that was replacing the third-line defender who was out with injury, but nothing more than that.

He glanced over to Chase—the Omega appeared fine. Normal. Already in his pads and skates, he was chatting with Sammy, a slight smile on his face.

Auston gritted his teeth against the impulse to go over there and check Chase out more thoroughly—a hidden bruise, a cut, an ache.

There was something wrong, instincts on high alert.

He just didn’t know what he was supposed to be bracing for.

He stayed close to Chase as they made it out onto the ice, but apart from a questioning quirk of his eyebrows, Chase didn’t seem phased. Nobody did.

Auston tried to focus on the game, insects crawling under his skin. He kept checking to see where Chase was, an itch in the shadow of his mind he couldn’t quite reach.

He scented the air again, blood boiling. He was going to punch the next guy who even looked at Chase. He was going to—

No. Fuck . He shut his eyes. He wasn’t too hot. He wasn’t producing more saliva than usual. He wasn’t aroused.

It wasn’t rut. It wasn’t a nearby heat.

This was something else.

He wasn’t surprised when they lost the game. What was surprising was that he didn’t even care. Was glad to get off the ice.

He tried to keep close to Chase, but PR nabbed him before he could even get his sweaty jersey off. “Media,” she said. “Sorry.”

Auston took a deep breath. He’d never snapped at a staff member, and he wasn’t going to start now.

He stood at his locker, surrounded by press that insisted on putting their phones and recorders right in his fucking face, and gave the most bland, monosyllabic answers he could until the crowd dispersed.

Fuck. Finally.

He rushed through a shower, pulling his sweats on even though his skin was still damp and it was fucking freezing outside. He couldn’t be bothered to put his suit back on—luckily, the Spirits weren’t that strict about post-game dress.

He searched for Chase, but all he found was Noah and Sammy arguing playfully with each other.

“Hey. Chase gone?” he asked them.

Sammy narrowed his eyes even as Noah smiled his big, puppy-dog smile. “Yeah. He went home.”

“Right. Thanks.” Auston stomped out of the locker room as the feeling got worse. He upped his pace. It was like following a scent, only there was nothing there.

He kept going. The cold air outside hit his underdressed body, but he barely noticed.

There. In the shadow of the car park. Chase was standing with someone. His shoulders were hunched in, head tilted down.

Auston took a few more steps.

It was Chase’s mom.

The knowledge hit him out of nowhere. He could smell her, obviously, but it wasn’t as if he could compare it to Chase’s real scent. There was no physical resemblance, either—her pinched mouth and slit eyes were nothing like Chase’s.

It was Chase’s body language that gave it away.

Auston’s body lurched forwards, heart pounding in his throat.

“Hey,” he called out.

Chase flinched at the noise. He looked up, face paler than usual, even in the low light. “Oh. Auston. Hey.”

Auston nodded at Chase’s mother. “Hi. Auston Mazdaki, nice to meet you.”

“Ms. Spalding. Nice to meet you.” Her voice was deceptively soft. Pleasant.

Auston was going to bet that wasn’t the tone she’d been using on Chase a moment ago.

He turned to Chase, smile plastered onto his face. “Didn’t we have dinner plans?”

Chase frowned. “Uhm…I don’t think so?”

“No, I’m pretty sure we did.”

“Oh. I’m really sorry, I didn’t remember—I’ll make it up to you. I gotta go, though.”

Ms. Spalding nodded at him. “Nice meeting you.”

Just like that, before Auston could think of another excuse, they were turning and walking away.

Dread was a sludge blocking his airways, coating his gut.

He knew Chase didn’t see it that way, but that woman was abusive. Chase was happy lately. Confident.

She was going to fucking tear that apart.

He turned and rushed into the arena. He found Noah and Sammy right where he left them, still too distracted with each other to finish changing.

“Hey. I, uh—I need a favour.”

Sammy widened his eyes, bewildered, as Noah immediately replied, “Sure. What is it?”

“I know this is going to sound weird, but you need to go to Chase’s apartment.”

Sammy scoffed. “Wait a minute—what?”

“His mom is here. I don’t know how much he’s told you, but she’s…she’s not good.”

“He told you ?” Sammy gaped.

“It’s complicated. Just, please—go to his apartment. Make an excuse about a…burst pipe or something, I don’t know. Stay with him. I don’t want him to be alone with her.”

Now it was Noah’s turn to look unsure, but Sammy was nodding slowly. “Okay.”

Relief almost made him double over. “Thank you. Can you text me? When you’re there? Tell me if he’s okay.”

Sammy searched his face.

Auston had no idea what he found there.

“Yeah. Okay.”

“Thank you,” Auston said again. It was all that was left in him.