Page 4

Journal

I haven’t written in a journal in such a long time.

Thinking back on it now, it’s been since I was thirteen years old when I last penned my thoughts.

I remember it well too. I’d written down some of my interests into a notebook and hid it under my mattress.

But now it seems kind of weird for me, an adult, to write such things.

Maybe, I’ll write this to the future… son.

Anna, my big sister, couldn’t be trusted not to go through my things and there were a few revelations in the journal I wasn’t prepared to share with the world—let alone myself.

Anyway, after I’d placed my secret journal back in its hiding place, I went out to play with some friends and my sister did what she did best, tried to ruin my life.

She’d tossed my room like a cop looking for drugs and found my hiding place.

Apparently, after reading it from cover to cover, she gave my journal to my folks.

Next thing I know my father tried to sit me down and discuss the birds and the bees and my mom wouldn’t look at me.

Our relationship never was the same after that.

I don’t know if it was because they didn’t want to look at their son after knowing what his inner thoughts were, or if it was me.

Maybe I was the problem. But that’s the past and neither here nor there.

I figure now is the right time to resume writing down my thoughts to help me process my own feelings.

I’m not sure anyone will ever read this journal, or if I even want someone to, but my life is about to change forever.

My wife came into the shop this morning and told me she is pregnant.

Now, the doctor hasn’t even examined her yet, but she said she knows.

She somehow can tell. I ain’t no woman, so I’m not going to argue with her, but I’d sure like the local doc to take a look at her.

Sarah said in a few weeks the tests will show what she knew all along and I need to be patient.

Almost wish she hadn’t told me about it.

All I can think about is how much our life is going to change.

It won’t be just the two of us anymore. Will I even make a good father?

I have no experience and no one to look at for guidance.

Will the baby be a boy or girl? I asked Sarah if she could tell yet and she laughed and said, does it matter?

The more I think about it, I realize all I want is the baby to be healthy.

Sarah and I have been working on a plan to convert the old homestead that was passed down a couple generations to me, into a bed and breakfast. My best friend, Brock, said he would help however much we needed.

I feel bad about asking him for help though, he works full time and recently got divorced.

He’s got a boy he needs to support as well.

Brock. He and I have been friends since we were kids.

Hunting and fishing our way through the short summer breaks from school.

Getting ourselves into trouble now and then, but overall we were great kids.

Or, at least I thought we were. My folks never liked him, not since we were in junior high.

Said he was a bad influence on me. I didn’t pay them no mind.

We were close and I didn’t care what other people thought about it.

Did I mention I am going to be a father?

I’m going to have to double my efforts and get this place up and running so I can devote my time as a dad and not lose out on my kid’s early years.

Again, this is why this B&B is so important to us.

It’ll bring us income while we are all together at home.

Sure, it’ll be a lot of hard work, but rewarding.