Page 24

Journal

There has been an unexpected turn of events. Brock’s ex-wife dropped his son, Wyatt, off at the doorstep, literally on the doorstep and walked away. Brock’s been frantically trying to reach her but has had no luck.

Wyatt’s older than my boy, Finn. However, he and his dad are a lot alike and I think he will fit in very well here.

Brock’s been worried, of course, about how to explain to his son what happened to his mother.

From what I understand, Doris, bless her heart, has been talking with the boy.

She said he understood that his mom loved him and left him here with us so he would have a stable and good upbringing. It was for his own good.

What a terrible mother. It was one thing to need time to yourself and help with the kid, damn Brock had been asking for joint custody this entire time, but to just abandon the boy?

I can’t imagine it. Finn, if you are reading this…

and I hope you are, I didn’t abandon you like this.

I would never in a million years even consider it.

Your mom was a good woman, but she and I weren’t meant for each other.

I begged her not to take you away, but I allowed it for your sake…

didn’t want to have you dragged in and out of courtrooms. The last thing I wanted was for you to feel any kind of bitterness toward either of your parents.

We both love you with all our hearts. Especially me.

There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about you.

You’re my son and I hope against hope that you will one day come back to me so we can share time together before it is too late.

I’m a strong man, but I can’t guarantee I’ll live forever.

Now, where was I before I started down that rabbit hole?

Oh, yes… Wyatt now lives here at Wildwood.

We have all agreed to chip in and help raise him…

even Doris and Miranda. They are such good people.

There is one elementary school in Angel Falls and it’s quite a ways away, but from what we understand the bus can pick him up right at our doorstep.

Feels like another sign that everything is right in the world, Wyatt is now part of the Wildwood family.

Son, I hope you will one day meet Wyatt.

I know he isn’t your brother… never will be…

but there’s something about that kid I think you’ll connect with.

Just like his daddy, he’s a strong-minded, helpful guy who wants what’s best for everyone but himself.

I can’t for the life of me understand why his mother would dump him, simply walk away and not look back.

I’d better get back to work… I’ve been writing in this journal during my lunch or before going to bed.

There’s not a ton of time where I’m not working around here as there’s always something to be done.

One of these days when you come up here, you’ll understand.

Don’t get me wrong, though, I love every minute of it.

You will too.

I put the journal down for a moment, wishing these passages were longer. My heart aches for what Wyatt must have gone through… being dumped by his own mother.

In a way, I feel like that from time to time with my father, but having now read many of these journal entries, I’m coming to realize just how wrong I have been.

How wrong I’ve been about… him . He really did love me.

I am so lucky that Miranda and Doris saved this journal for me to read.

Clearly, they must have been aware of my father’s sadness when it came to not seeing me as often as he’d wanted.

I can’t help but think of all the time we missed.

How if things had been different, we could have played catch in the yard, hiked through the forest, laughed…

cried, together. I look down at the book and thumb through the remaining pages as emotions rise within me.

By the looks of the pages still left to read, it’s clear there is still so much he wanted to tell me.

My heart speeds up at the thought of receiving more of his love.

I think I’ll read one more passage before I stop for the day.

Then a thought returns and settles into my gut like a ton of bricks.

I really want to know what my dad would have thought of me being gay.

Would he have still loved me the same way?

What would he have done if I’d come home to Wildwood after breaking up with that asshole college boyfriend from back in the day? Would he have listened? Cared?

What else do you have to share with me, dad? I flip the page and begin reading.

June 10 th , 2002

Oh, boy. Where has the time gone? I looked over my last journal entry and was shocked to see it’s been almost two years since I last wrote to you.

I’m sorry about that, Finnegan.

Not sure if you know it or not, but I’ve been in contact with your momma.

I asked her a handful of times if you could spend the summer up here with us…

I really wanted you to get the lay of the land.

Not only that, but I wanted you to get to know Brock and his son, Wyatt.

I think I spoke the last time about how his mom dropped him off here at the lodge and never looked back.

That hasn’t changed. Brock did manage to locate her though…

it wasn’t good, Finn. She’d come down with pneumonia last winter and passed away.

Brock was heartbroken, despite everything they’d gone through together.

The hard times and the good… when you lose someone, it’s remembering the good times that seem to hurt the most. At least for a while.

Wyatt seems to be handling it all in stride.

I can’t tell you how much that kid has meant to this place.

The lodge is always busy… except for a month in the winter when people don’t seem to travel too much in these parts.

During that down time, Wyatt is the life of this place.

His energy is off the charts. Finn, I wish you were here. I miss you dearly.

From what your mom tells me, she’s considering letting you come for a visit.

Just the idea of seeing you brings tears to my eyes.

Your mom sent me a few recent pictures of you and I can’t believe how much you’ve grown.

You’re starting to look more and more like me every day.

I showed the photos to Wyatt and Brock. Brock says you’re going to be a heartbreaker.

Things here at Wildwood are pretty status quo.

You might be wondering how come after all these years, I have not mentioned anyone special in my life.

I’ve often thought about the same thing.

It’s a weird time in my life right now, Finn.

Things seem to be going so well here… with Brock, that I don’t really need anything or anyone in my life right now.

Might just be me being a worrywart, but I’ve never really been good at love or romantic relationships.

I hope and pray you don’t follow in my footsteps when it comes to stuff like that.

Anyway, I should get back to work. I can hear Brock hollering about something… I’d better go see what the problem is.

Take care, Finn. I hope to see you one day soon.