Page 104 of Fragile Lives

I shake my head, blinking away the tears.

Jake unzips Stephan’s jacket and checks his wounds. His face darkens the more he sees. Tears start streaming down my face, and I grab onto Stephan, scared of what Jake will say.

“Two exit wounds.”

“It’s good, right?” I ask hopefully. “They’re not stuck inside, right?”

He glances at me but doesn’t say anything.

Suddenly Stephan lets out a loud breath, and his whole body shudders. He opens his eyes, and I feel relief because they’re clear. Hope blossoms in my chest.

“I—” he swallows thickly, “love you, Lei.”

A beautiful smile stretches across his face, and a waterfall of tears start running down my face.

And then he sighs deeply.

And stops breathing.

“Stephan?” I call out. “Archie?” Maybe he likes that name better, but just never told me that.

“Stephan!” I cry out louder. “Do you hear me?Stephan!” I yell and start shaking him so he wakes up.

“Leila, stop.” Jake calls me, but I refuse to hear him. “Leila!” he barks again when I don’t stop shaking Stephan’s shoulders.

“Leila!” He grabs my forearm, pulling me away, and barks an order, “Move!”

I blink rapidly, trying to comprehend why he’s asking me to move. Why he’s asking me to leave? Why doesn’t he let me spend these last moments with him? I’ll die after anyway. I don’t want to live without him.

“Leila, fuckin’ move!”

He pushes me away, and I fall on my ass. He stands on his knees next to Stephan, takes off his jacket and arranges it under Stephan’s head so it’s a little higher than it was before. Then he starts doing CPR. He keeps pushing on his chest a few times and then blows air into his mouth. With every breath, Stephan’s chest expands, and then Jake goes back to pushing on his chest.

And I’m just sitting here, useless, while the love of my life is dying.

Dead. He is dead.

Stephanisdead.

I begin comprehending what just happened.

The slow feeling of dread descends upon my head and moves down my body, settling deep in my belly. My heart begins aching, and my chest is getting squeezed by an invisible force. I try to take a breath and can’t. Just like Stephan can’t. The crimson line from the side of his mouth drips down to his cheek. His eyes closed.

And I will never see them again. Never.

A sob erupts from deep within me. And then another.

The pain is unbearable, and all I want right now is to die with him.

I finally fully understand how he felt all this time. When the desire to live dies along with the people you loved the most. That’s how I feel. I need him to breathe.

I need him to.

Because if he doesn’t wake up, that’s it. I’m done too. So, I pull myself together and move toward Jake.

“Jake. What can I do?”

“Call fucking nine-one-one and tell them to hurry the fuck up.” The words are rushed out of his mouth while he’s pushing on Stephan’s chest.