Page 25 of Fourth and Long

Kyle throws me a look as if he can’t believe I know what a touchdown is.

“That’s really great,” I say, hoping I don’t sound patronizing.

The guilt rises inside me. He’s had two seasons of high school football and I didn’t even know. It’d be easy to blame my father. We have dinner once a week, so he could have mentioned it. But it isn’t just his fault. I’m a grown up, too. I could forge a relationship with my brothers if I tried. At a minimum, I could ask our father about them.

Avoidance is not an easy habit to break.

I squint as I try to remember the last time I saw Kyle. It’s been a year. Maybe more.

“Maybe I’ll come to a game next season.”

Kyle shrugs as if it doesn’t make a difference to him either way. To be fair, it probably doesn’t.

“I’m friends with Slater Jones.” The words slip out of my mouth. Again. What is with the name dropping?

Kyle looks directly at me for the first time, his eyes wide. “The quarterback?”

“That’s right.” It’s wrong to use Slater’s name to try to earn points with my brother. And it was a stretch calling us friends. I wish I could rewind the last thirty seconds.

“What’s Slater like?”

How to answer that question? Kyle doesn’t care what Slater looks like without his shirt on. And if he’s into football, he already knows Slater’s story. “He’s kind of grumpy. He doesn’t like losing.”

“Nobody likes losing. Where’d you meet him?”

“Through Cam.”

“Kelsey’s husband?” Kyle bobs his head at one of his friends but doesn’t move away. “He’s an agent, right? He must know tons of athletes.”

“He is. And yes, he seems to have a lot of clients.”

“Does he ever come down here and visit? With Kelsey, I mean?” Kyle leans back against the railing of the deck. The move is casual. The question is not.

“Not much. My mother and I mostly go up to New York to see them. Both Kelsey and Cam are busy.” It’s a pitiful excuse. Kelsey has nearly forgotten she has two half-brothers.

Kelsey’s relationship with our father has always been complicated. She blames him, unequivocally, for the destruction of our family. For her, it’s very black and white. He left and married someone else, therefore he is the villain. For me, it’s murkier. I’m mad at both my father and my mother. I blame him for leaving, but I blame her for making what followed so miserable.

“Hey, Ky!” someone shouts from across the yard.

“I gotta…” He gestures toward the group of guys.

I nod, and my father and I watch him lope away. Kyle’s taller than I am now and he’s the spitting image of my father in his youth. It’s weird to realize that he’s nearly grown.

“We haven’t seen Kelsey in ages.” My father interrupts my thoughts with that quiet statement. “We haven’t even met Cam.”

Naturally, the need to defend her is swift. “She invites you to come to New York all the time.”

He sighs. “I know, but…”

There’s no need for him to finish. Libby would never want him to take her sons to New York to visit Kelsey, and she certainly wouldn’t want to accompany them, at least not without a huge fight. She’d be horrified by the mere suggestion. If Kelsey wants to see our father and brothers, it’s up to her to come visit.

“I’m sure she’ll bring Cam by at some point.” It might not be soon, though. Since Kelsey moved away, she’s become very adept at ignoring my father and his family.

“Of course she will,” he says with an absent pat on my shoulder.

NINE

SLATER