Page 32 of Fortune's Blade

“I don’t know what I’m doing here, Dory!” she said suddenly, passionately. “I don’t know what I’m doing anywhere. It’s just like at the Blarestri court, everyone side eyeing me all the time, waiting for the monster to emerge. While here it’s the monster they’re looking for! They take me for weak, and maybe I am—”

“You’re not weak,” I said flatly. “You’re the least weak person I know.”

She laughed suddenly, and it was bitter. “You can say that. You who never had a moment of weakness in your life!”

I blinked at her for a moment, wondering how things could look so different to other people—and how wrong.

“I was never the strong one,” I finally said. “That was Dorina. And now she’s gone.”

Claire looked up at me, and her face changed, because she was nothing if not kind and realized that she’d wounded me. But she didn’t seem to agree. “That’s ridiculous!”

“It isn’t though,” I said. Because it was something I’d had plenty of time to face up to, in the last month or so. “I tried to tell myself otherwise, to tell Louis-Cesare otherwise, ever since Dorina disappeared. I was still dhampir, still had my expensive toys, still had hundreds of years of experience—”

“Which you do!”

“Yes, but this place,” I paused and looked around, although all I could see from our current position was melted stone, since the ramparts blocked the view. But I didn’t need it. That vista was the kind of thing that stayed with you, possibly forever.

Faerie had that effect.

It had another one, too.

“I’m on the senate,” I finally said, “but I’m not strong enough to do most of the jobs they have open. And the more diplomatic ones, the ones they keep assigning me because of father’s reputation . . . well, I’m trying. But they’re not exactly my forte, either, and anyway, no one respects a dhampir—”

“Well, they should!” Claire said, her tears drying on her cheeks. Because nothing rallied my best friend like someone else hurting. Especially me.

I didn’t know what I’d done to deserve her.

“But they don’t,” I said gently. “And now I’m here, and every day just reminds me how . . . inadequate . . . I am. I’ve spent my life running down revenants, dragging back low tier threats to the senate, and taking freelance jobs for losers who forget to pay me half the time—and who don’t even call these days because you can’t forget to pay a senator! I don’t know who I am anymore, and without Dorina—”

“We’ll find her,” Claire said, and it wasn’t a question. There was a thread of steel running through her voice, and it scared me. It scared me a lot.

“Maybe we shouldn’t,” I said, voicing the thought I’d been pushing away for weeks.

“What?” Claire stared at me, caught off guard, and her fingers tightened on my arms.

“I don’t want to lose you, too,” I said roughly. “Or Louis-Cesare or any of the bastards crazy enough to sign on to this . . . this . . . this shot in the dark or whatever it is! I don’t want to be the cause of your deaths—”

“You won’t be. That’s absurd—”

“Is it? Tanet seems to think otherwise.” Claire tried to interrupt, but I talked over her. “And he knows this place, Claire. He’s lived here all his life. What if he’s right? What if she’s already dead, and all I’m doing is dragging the rest of the people I care into danger? I don’t know what I’m doing, and without Dorina, I can’t protect you. I’m not even sure I can protect myself anymore and—”

“Dory!” Claire’s usually soft tones suddenly cracked like a whip. It was so unusual that it actually shut me up, something I was extremely grateful for. I hadn’t expected every insecurity I had to come tumbling out like that, and especially not to her. I had come up here to comfort her, and what the hell was I doing instead?

I must have spoken that last part aloud, because she suddenly hugged me. Claire was a hugger, and a good one, and for a long moment, it felt like she would never let me go. But she did, and when she sat back, her face was still tear streaked, but also calm and resolute.

It seemed like I’d done what I came up here for, although not in the way I’d planned.

“We will find her,” she told me staunchly. “I don’t give a damn what anyone thinks, including my brother! My father has offered assistance, and no one at court is going to go against his decision.”

“Even so, you just said his people don’t venture far from their mountains. Will they even know how to track her, or who to ask—”

“I’ll know,” Claire said smiling, but there was an edge to it. “I have a foot in both camps, whether I like it or not: Blarestri princess and monster’s daughter. Between the two, everyone will want to cultivate me or fear me too much to say no. Father’s people are just coming for security.”

I laughed; I couldn’t help it. “So, you’re going to intimidate the whole of Faerie into turning her over!”

“Why not? My position never helped me before, so it’s about time. It’s about time for a lot of things,” she added, her expression darkening.

I wisely didn’t ask. “So, what do we do now?”